Journals
Major Detail
Dakota’s POV
Tonight is my first date. Yep, I'm seventeen and never went on a date. No one's ever wanted to go on date with me. They preferred to be raping me or beating me. How is it that a damn celebrity likes me? I always imagined them to be rude narcissist jerks. Especially the guys. It's just so weird that he likes me. More so, romantically. Well, I guess this matches up. An unordinary girl for an unordinary boy. Nothing about us is normal.
I told Louis and Zayn since I feel comfortable talking to them. Though it still took me an hour to work up the courage and call them for help. They have sisters and girlfriends. Well, Zayn has a fiancé, but same thing. They should know how I should dress. My need for public approval is not helping me right now, whatsoever. I might have an anxiety attack if his fans stare me down. If people see us, we're going to be on magazines, tagged on social networks, blogged about, and everything else escaping my mind.
After reviewing things online, Louis sends me an idea of what to wear. Something his sister chose. I think Harry bought me something like that. It took me about twenty minutes to find them, but I did. He said casual, so I'm dressing.
Since I refuse to wear anything revealing, I wear a blue T-shirt with the Beatles in front, another one of the varsity jackets, white jeans, and what Louis calls green 'TOMS'. Odd name for shoes if you ask me. Now this part, Louis tells me most girls would put on makeup. But I don't wear anything, but concealer and blush. So I do what I know. I coat on some on anything purplish, red, or blue. Basically, anything not in my skin tone.
When I'm done, I look somewhat like a normal girl. Somethings are faint while others are fully concealed. I hope I look good. People say 'dates' are very important. Whatever that means. A date is... What exactly is a date? To me, it was a dream. Never in my life did I think my first date would be with a celebrity. That's just... wow.
Stephanie is out with a friend and Blaine is getting drunk at a club and I do not want to be here when he returns. I don't need to be part of any kind of threesome. Tonight, it's just me and Harry. And the paparazzi depending on the situation. There's going to be so many people out there. What if they find us? There would be a lot of people surrounding us. Flashing lights of cameras and yells useless questions. Oh, here comes the claustrophobia.
My breathing quickens thinking of the possible and impossible scenarios. I am so screwed. What if I'm not good enough for them? What if I get hate for this like their other girlfriends. I'm just going to be a massive screw up. I don't deserve this. It was a huge mistake. I have to call Harry and-
Ding Dong
Damn. Guess it's now or never. I swallow my fear and walk over to the door. When the door is open, my breath is taken away. Harry holds a bouquet of red tulips. Aw. I love tulips. But how did he know?
When I was younger, my parents had this garden in the backyard full of flowers. When my mum got angry, she'd go outside to cool down before tending to her flowers. I guessed it calmed her. I had the perfect view to them from my window so I'd watch her care for them better than. For a time, I envied those flowers. Would I have looked so beautiful if she cared for me? They were one the few things I saw that was beautiful. She had all the colors. There was white, pink, purple... But my favorite was the bright red ones. They just stood out to me. God, these bring back so many memories.
The fact that tears fall from my eyes doesn't strike me until Harry brings me into a tight hug. "Dakota, are you okay? Did I do something wrong?"
I shake my head and smile through the tears, "My mum used to grow tulips our backyard." He pulls away and facepalms himself causing me to giggle.
"I knew I should've gotten roses, but nope. I wanted to get something less cliché. I am so sorry. I can get something else-"
I kiss his cheek and bring him into a tight hug. "Harry. I love red tulips. They were one of the few things that I loved as a little kid. Thank you, Harry." Well, this started off great. "Let's get a vase for these." I wipe the tears from my eyes and pull him to the kitchen. My favorite vase is sadly on the top self when I open the cabinet with the containers. "Can you grab the frosted glass vase?" He smiles and grabs it with ease.
He pours some cold water into the vase before placing the flowers inside. "Where should we put it?" If we leave it in the living room, Blaine will smash it when he's drunk. If it's in the kitchen, Stephanie will take her as hers. Anywhere else will be thrown away. I grip his hand and pull him to my room. Neither one of them like coming into my room so they should be safe in there. I point to my bedside table and he sets it down carefully.
"Are you ready to go?" Harry asks and takes my hand in his again. Before, I would have pulled away. Now, it's just nice. Someone wants to hold my hand. I slowly nod with my eyes focused on the flowers. "I made a good choice with those flowers. I debating on getting the purple ones, but I knew you'd like this one better."
I try unsuccessfully to hold back a smile, but I can't. I peck his cheek again and hug him again. "These bring back some of the good memories." I wrote my first journal entry next to the orange tulips. I played the escaped neighbor's dog near the pink and purple tulips. And near the red tulips is the place where Liam hung out with me. That was probably the only time someone was with me. His mum was talking to my parents so Liam hung out with me when I was writing in my journal. He was a sweetheart then and still is.
"We should be going if we want to escape the paparazzi," He chuckles and I tentatively pull away. I look up into his shining green eyes as he continues. "I know how you hate crowds so I made sure there would be no one, but us."
This guy is too sweet to be real. He gently tugs me out the door to his car. Like a gentleman, he opens my door and closes it once I’m in. He rounds the car and ducks into the driver's seat. He starts up the car and drives out of the property onto the road. I wonder where we're going. Should I ask? Would he mind? I mean, I don't want to ruin anything. I ruin everything. Just go along. I've been doing that since forever. Maybe I should say something. Just make small talk. He does it all the time. But what would I say? How's it going?
"I feel stupid," I mutter to myself.
Harry glances at me and smiles, "You're not stupid." Good God he heard me. "How about we pass the time by playing twenty questions. Maybe we can find something you love doing." Not this again. I wasn't made to do anything. I was made to be a punching bag. Nothing more.
"Harry, I'm not good at anything. And never will be," I remind him and toy with the edge of the jacket. I've made a habit out of it. It makes it less awkward for me. Talking to people isn't something I'm keen in. Last month, I was almost mute.
"Dakota, everyone is good at something," He responds. "You may not notice this, but you're an amazing writer." I scoff. He lying. "It's totally true. Just read over what you have. You'll be inspired like me." I look over and him with raised brows. "Yes, you inspired me. What you wrote made me think my life differently."
Why does he say that? It can't be true. Can it? My thoughts are cut short when he stops the car in an empty parking lot. He was right, there is no paparazzi or people. In fact, I think it’s closed. Harry pops open his door and scurries over to mine to open it. He holds his hand like a polished man and helps me out. I mutter a thank you as he takes my hand in his again.
“Where are we?” I question as he takes out a key.
He smiles, “An aquarium.” I cock my head to the side in curiosity. “I talked to the manager about our situation. He said we can as long I come back again with band for publicity later this month.” I smile at his caring nature. “We can get anything you want from the shops as long I pay him later.”
I giggle as he pulls me inside and flicks on the lights. He takes me into this room with windows on the side to take in the view on the water. The doors soon close and cabin starts to move down. I glance at the cheerfulness encased in Harry’s face before watching the doors open again. My eyes practically pop out of my head when I see the walls of glass keeping us from the fish. “Wow,” is all I manage to say. I’ve never been in an aquarium. These things are beautiful!
“I know,” He replies and brings me out of the room. We are now surrounded by the breathtaking creatures for enjoyment. I watch as the colorful fish swim quickly around the glass going one place to another. I wonder what it’d be like to swim alongside them. “Do you like it?” He asks.
I barely nod as a turtles passes by. I press my hands to the glass and reply, “I would say this is the best date ever, but this is the only date I’ve ever been on.”
He chuckles behind me and gently wraps his arms around my waist. My body goes stiff for a few seconds before relaxing. He’s not Blaine. Blaine is rough. Harry’s sweet and gentle. “I’ll make this the best date ever then.”
Harry’s POV
Watching her smile and pull me to watch something so little as a fish makes me warm inside. This is probably the happiest I’ve seen her. She’s doing something her parents never let her do. She’s been kept from so many childhood clichés that is saddens me. Lou barely took her out for ice cream on Thursday. What else has she been deprived of?
At the end of the aquarium visit Dakota leaves with a smile on her face and her head against my side. “What now Harry?” She asks when we get to the car.
I smile, “Surprise.” To the London Eye! Well, sort of. There’s this restaurant next the the river that is close to the London Eye. It’s perfect. I reserved the deck just for us. Since it’s dark out, the paparazzi have less of a chance finding me and the sight is great. Like I said, I am going to make this the best date ever.
When I pull into the parking space, I run out just to open her door. Girls love guys who do this. “Thank you,” She says and takes my hand. Not me taking hers. She takes mine. I kiss her cheek and we walk inside the establishment. The hostess greets us with a smile while Dakota takes in the decor.
“Harry Styles. Just on time. Let me escort you to your table,” She smiles and takes two menus with her. “Follow me Mr. Styles and friend.” She guides us through the table to the deck. I made sure to make them decorate it. A vase of tulips on the table, a crisp white tablecloth, blue lights, and purple and blue tulip petals scattered on the ground. “Just as you wanted.”
I thank her before pulling out a chair for Dakota. Her eyes are just bursting with wonder with the beauty filled scene. “Harry, you didn’t have to do all this,” She smiles.
“You deserve it,” I tell her and look out to the river besides us.
“You know, when I imagined my first date, I thought it would be with a decent looking outcast at the park,” She voices. “This is something meant for someone of high stature and looks. I don’t deserve this.”
I look back at her and take in her looks. Is it possible to fall in love everyday? Because whenever I just think about her, my heart races. When I see her, I don’t want to stop smiling. When I hear her, I just want her to keep going and going. I wish she could see what I do. In my eyes, she’s the best person in the planet with a little bit of baggage. She’s always so concerned about what others think. I think she’s perfect.
She knows life. She doesn’t sugar coat things. She doesn’t dress like a slut to fit in with society. She may be blind when it comes to herself, but I’m getting there. She should know how much I like her.
If anything, I don’t deserve her.
Tonight is my first date. Yep, I'm seventeen and never went on a date. No one's ever wanted to go on date with me. They preferred to be raping me or beating me. How is it that a damn celebrity likes me? I always imagined them to be rude narcissist jerks. Especially the guys. It's just so weird that he likes me. More so, romantically. Well, I guess this matches up. An unordinary girl for an unordinary boy. Nothing about us is normal.
I told Louis and Zayn since I feel comfortable talking to them. Though it still took me an hour to work up the courage and call them for help. They have sisters and girlfriends. Well, Zayn has a fiancé, but same thing. They should know how I should dress. My need for public approval is not helping me right now, whatsoever. I might have an anxiety attack if his fans stare me down. If people see us, we're going to be on magazines, tagged on social networks, blogged about, and everything else escaping my mind.
After reviewing things online, Louis sends me an idea of what to wear. Something his sister chose. I think Harry bought me something like that. It took me about twenty minutes to find them, but I did. He said casual, so I'm dressing.
Since I refuse to wear anything revealing, I wear a blue T-shirt with the Beatles in front, another one of the varsity jackets, white jeans, and what Louis calls green 'TOMS'. Odd name for shoes if you ask me. Now this part, Louis tells me most girls would put on makeup. But I don't wear anything, but concealer and blush. So I do what I know. I coat on some on anything purplish, red, or blue. Basically, anything not in my skin tone.
When I'm done, I look somewhat like a normal girl. Somethings are faint while others are fully concealed. I hope I look good. People say 'dates' are very important. Whatever that means. A date is... What exactly is a date? To me, it was a dream. Never in my life did I think my first date would be with a celebrity. That's just... wow.
Stephanie is out with a friend and Blaine is getting drunk at a club and I do not want to be here when he returns. I don't need to be part of any kind of threesome. Tonight, it's just me and Harry. And the paparazzi depending on the situation. There's going to be so many people out there. What if they find us? There would be a lot of people surrounding us. Flashing lights of cameras and yells useless questions. Oh, here comes the claustrophobia.
My breathing quickens thinking of the possible and impossible scenarios. I am so screwed. What if I'm not good enough for them? What if I get hate for this like their other girlfriends. I'm just going to be a massive screw up. I don't deserve this. It was a huge mistake. I have to call Harry and-
Ding Dong
Damn. Guess it's now or never. I swallow my fear and walk over to the door. When the door is open, my breath is taken away. Harry holds a bouquet of red tulips. Aw. I love tulips. But how did he know?
When I was younger, my parents had this garden in the backyard full of flowers. When my mum got angry, she'd go outside to cool down before tending to her flowers. I guessed it calmed her. I had the perfect view to them from my window so I'd watch her care for them better than. For a time, I envied those flowers. Would I have looked so beautiful if she cared for me? They were one the few things I saw that was beautiful. She had all the colors. There was white, pink, purple... But my favorite was the bright red ones. They just stood out to me. God, these bring back so many memories.
The fact that tears fall from my eyes doesn't strike me until Harry brings me into a tight hug. "Dakota, are you okay? Did I do something wrong?"
I shake my head and smile through the tears, "My mum used to grow tulips our backyard." He pulls away and facepalms himself causing me to giggle.
"I knew I should've gotten roses, but nope. I wanted to get something less cliché. I am so sorry. I can get something else-"
I kiss his cheek and bring him into a tight hug. "Harry. I love red tulips. They were one of the few things that I loved as a little kid. Thank you, Harry." Well, this started off great. "Let's get a vase for these." I wipe the tears from my eyes and pull him to the kitchen. My favorite vase is sadly on the top self when I open the cabinet with the containers. "Can you grab the frosted glass vase?" He smiles and grabs it with ease.
He pours some cold water into the vase before placing the flowers inside. "Where should we put it?" If we leave it in the living room, Blaine will smash it when he's drunk. If it's in the kitchen, Stephanie will take her as hers. Anywhere else will be thrown away. I grip his hand and pull him to my room. Neither one of them like coming into my room so they should be safe in there. I point to my bedside table and he sets it down carefully.
"Are you ready to go?" Harry asks and takes my hand in his again. Before, I would have pulled away. Now, it's just nice. Someone wants to hold my hand. I slowly nod with my eyes focused on the flowers. "I made a good choice with those flowers. I debating on getting the purple ones, but I knew you'd like this one better."
I try unsuccessfully to hold back a smile, but I can't. I peck his cheek again and hug him again. "These bring back some of the good memories." I wrote my first journal entry next to the orange tulips. I played the escaped neighbor's dog near the pink and purple tulips. And near the red tulips is the place where Liam hung out with me. That was probably the only time someone was with me. His mum was talking to my parents so Liam hung out with me when I was writing in my journal. He was a sweetheart then and still is.
"We should be going if we want to escape the paparazzi," He chuckles and I tentatively pull away. I look up into his shining green eyes as he continues. "I know how you hate crowds so I made sure there would be no one, but us."
This guy is too sweet to be real. He gently tugs me out the door to his car. Like a gentleman, he opens my door and closes it once I’m in. He rounds the car and ducks into the driver's seat. He starts up the car and drives out of the property onto the road. I wonder where we're going. Should I ask? Would he mind? I mean, I don't want to ruin anything. I ruin everything. Just go along. I've been doing that since forever. Maybe I should say something. Just make small talk. He does it all the time. But what would I say? How's it going?
"I feel stupid," I mutter to myself.
Harry glances at me and smiles, "You're not stupid." Good God he heard me. "How about we pass the time by playing twenty questions. Maybe we can find something you love doing." Not this again. I wasn't made to do anything. I was made to be a punching bag. Nothing more.
"Harry, I'm not good at anything. And never will be," I remind him and toy with the edge of the jacket. I've made a habit out of it. It makes it less awkward for me. Talking to people isn't something I'm keen in. Last month, I was almost mute.
"Dakota, everyone is good at something," He responds. "You may not notice this, but you're an amazing writer." I scoff. He lying. "It's totally true. Just read over what you have. You'll be inspired like me." I look over and him with raised brows. "Yes, you inspired me. What you wrote made me think my life differently."
Why does he say that? It can't be true. Can it? My thoughts are cut short when he stops the car in an empty parking lot. He was right, there is no paparazzi or people. In fact, I think it’s closed. Harry pops open his door and scurries over to mine to open it. He holds his hand like a polished man and helps me out. I mutter a thank you as he takes my hand in his again.
“Where are we?” I question as he takes out a key.
He smiles, “An aquarium.” I cock my head to the side in curiosity. “I talked to the manager about our situation. He said we can as long I come back again with band for publicity later this month.” I smile at his caring nature. “We can get anything you want from the shops as long I pay him later.”
I giggle as he pulls me inside and flicks on the lights. He takes me into this room with windows on the side to take in the view on the water. The doors soon close and cabin starts to move down. I glance at the cheerfulness encased in Harry’s face before watching the doors open again. My eyes practically pop out of my head when I see the walls of glass keeping us from the fish. “Wow,” is all I manage to say. I’ve never been in an aquarium. These things are beautiful!
“I know,” He replies and brings me out of the room. We are now surrounded by the breathtaking creatures for enjoyment. I watch as the colorful fish swim quickly around the glass going one place to another. I wonder what it’d be like to swim alongside them. “Do you like it?” He asks.
I barely nod as a turtles passes by. I press my hands to the glass and reply, “I would say this is the best date ever, but this is the only date I’ve ever been on.”
He chuckles behind me and gently wraps his arms around my waist. My body goes stiff for a few seconds before relaxing. He’s not Blaine. Blaine is rough. Harry’s sweet and gentle. “I’ll make this the best date ever then.”
Harry’s POV
Watching her smile and pull me to watch something so little as a fish makes me warm inside. This is probably the happiest I’ve seen her. She’s doing something her parents never let her do. She’s been kept from so many childhood clichés that is saddens me. Lou barely took her out for ice cream on Thursday. What else has she been deprived of?
At the end of the aquarium visit Dakota leaves with a smile on her face and her head against my side. “What now Harry?” She asks when we get to the car.
I smile, “Surprise.” To the London Eye! Well, sort of. There’s this restaurant next the the river that is close to the London Eye. It’s perfect. I reserved the deck just for us. Since it’s dark out, the paparazzi have less of a chance finding me and the sight is great. Like I said, I am going to make this the best date ever.
When I pull into the parking space, I run out just to open her door. Girls love guys who do this. “Thank you,” She says and takes my hand. Not me taking hers. She takes mine. I kiss her cheek and we walk inside the establishment. The hostess greets us with a smile while Dakota takes in the decor.
“Harry Styles. Just on time. Let me escort you to your table,” She smiles and takes two menus with her. “Follow me Mr. Styles and friend.” She guides us through the table to the deck. I made sure to make them decorate it. A vase of tulips on the table, a crisp white tablecloth, blue lights, and purple and blue tulip petals scattered on the ground. “Just as you wanted.”
I thank her before pulling out a chair for Dakota. Her eyes are just bursting with wonder with the beauty filled scene. “Harry, you didn’t have to do all this,” She smiles.
“You deserve it,” I tell her and look out to the river besides us.
“You know, when I imagined my first date, I thought it would be with a decent looking outcast at the park,” She voices. “This is something meant for someone of high stature and looks. I don’t deserve this.”
I look back at her and take in her looks. Is it possible to fall in love everyday? Because whenever I just think about her, my heart races. When I see her, I don’t want to stop smiling. When I hear her, I just want her to keep going and going. I wish she could see what I do. In my eyes, she’s the best person in the planet with a little bit of baggage. She’s always so concerned about what others think. I think she’s perfect.
She knows life. She doesn’t sugar coat things. She doesn’t dress like a slut to fit in with society. She may be blind when it comes to herself, but I’m getting there. She should know how much I like her.
If anything, I don’t deserve her.
Ah the day after my birthday! Yay! And I probably would read 'A Broken Princess' !!!!!
12/31/13