Journals
New Feelings
Dakota's POV
"Dakota, do you know where I put my white Vans?" Harry asks walking downstairs. The cute curly haired boy plops down on the couch next to me and pulls me close to him. I giggle and peck his cheek. Sighing, I rest my head on his chest. This never fails to make my heart flutter.
"I don't know. Did you check in our room?" I ask him and play with the hem of his shirt. Harry tends to misplace things. His shoes, keys, watches, hats, and phone. I'm the one who always finds it.
"Yes!" He yells and turns on the TV. He turns it to a gossip show where they're talking about our relationship. Yeah. Harry's mine. I have no idea what I'd do without him. He's my world and I'm his. I shake my head when they talk about him possibly cheating. I trust Harry. He won't.
As if he heard my thoughts, he laughs. "Really? You're kidding me?" I furrow my eyebrows and look up at him. His soft kind features are now sharp and cruel. He pushes me off of me and laughs. "You honestly think I'd stay with you?"
"What?" I ask before he pushes me to the ground. He stands above me and laughs.
"You're nothing, but a broken girl that won't let anyone in. You really think I was with you because I want to?" He laughs heartlessly and kicks my side. I grunt and grab my new bruise. "You're just a charity case. There's a million other girls in this world. All of them are better than you." The next kick is aimed at my stomach.
He's right. I'm just a pathetic broken girl. Why would I even give him a chance. I can't like him. I can't trust him. No one wants me. There's a million other people he can date. Wait. When did I ever develop feelings for him?
*~*~*~*
I awake with a jolting star. I gasp for a breath before sitting in my bed holding my face. God. What a f*cked up dream. I don't like Harry and I'm not just a charity case. At least, I don't think so. I hope not. I let very little people in and I always regret it. Please don't let it be this time. And as for me dating Harry. I would never date him. I know he has feelings for me, but he can’t date me. I'd just give him a bad image.
Why would my subconscious even begin to think that? I bring everyone down. My nickname was Suicide for God's sake! I can't bring Harry into this. He deserves better. Maybe I should just-
No! I've been alone for so long. If he abandons me, so what? I'm used to it. Maybe it's time to give them a chance. What do people say these days? For something. Forever. Forever alone? Another reason why I should get friends. A celebrity should be able to get me up-to-date. What's that app everyone likes going on and where they get most this stuff? I something. Something for Apple.
I push myself out of my bed and walk over to the bathroom. I take a quick shower, going lightly on my bruises, and step out to dressed. Should I wear the new clothes? What if I see Harry today? We made no plans, but what if he makes a random one? Well, I can’t wear sweatshirts forever. Maybe I can wear something different today.
I grab what I see normal people wear that would be comfortable. I chose black pants, a white shirt, and sneakers. Since I don’t feel like wearing bracelets to cover my wrists, I grab a jacket Harry bought. The 1D collection he calls it. Something special for each of the boys. I grab the blue, I think it’s a ‘varsity’, jacket with the ‘H’ on the front and ‘Styles’ on the back. Not bad.
Now, to make breakfast. In the kitchen, a note is on the table written in messy handwriting. I get closer to get a better look. It’s from Blaine.
Dakota, I’m having company over. Please prepare a meal for lunch before I come back. If not, there will be punishment. The company is a bit young. Make the dish simple and fun. - Mr.Freeman
All I’m reading is that I have to cook and I’m stuck with the brat all day. Dammit. Well, it’s six a.m right now and I have to make the she-devil breakfast before she goes to school. She always has to have egg white omelet with spinach, tomato, and mozzarella cheese drizzled. And on the side, low-fat strawberry yogurt with red raspberries. Don’t ask.
After making her food, the demon enters the kitchen looking like a disaster. Just like everyone, she doesn't look good when she wakes up. Though she still looks better than me. And here comes the insults in five, four, three, two, one.
“Wow Deborah,” Still doesn't know my name, “You are trying so hard to impress Harry. You stole him from us. Don’t make the loyal directioners look stupid.” She scoffs looking at my outfit. “That shirt doesn't fit you and those jeans make your ass look huge. The jacket just throws the whole thing off.” Do I look that bad? I glance down. She’s right. I do look stupid. "I don't know why you're trying so hard," I look up to meet her eyes, "but you should just stop. Harry deserves better."
She glares at me while eating her breakfast before she leaves to get ready. While she does that, I plan out the lunch that I should start cooking.
*~*~*~*
Young and simple. Well, I made something that teens might like. Handmade pizzas with different toppings on each, peanut butter and walnut brownie, and tea. Personally, I don't like tea, but majority of the people I meet do.
I take the pizza out of the oven and on the counter. Now to just let them- Slam! Nevermind. Multiple voices sound out signalling their arrival. I wipe my hands on a dish rag and pull on my jacket. Time to get going. "Diana!" Seriously. Is it that hard to remember my name? Three small syllables. My name is a part of two states! "Come here!"
I adjust my jacket and walk out to the living room. Blaine stands with his back to his company which I give no attention to. "Dana."
"It's Dakota, sir," I remind him. "What do you request?"
"Is the food ready?" He asks.
I nod. "It's in the kitchen. Do you want me to retrieve it?" He shakes his head. The six sitting on the long couch stand and face us. Oh. The gray haired guy is Simon Cowell. No offense, but he's not young. My eyes scan over the next people. Oh sh*t.
"Mr. Cowell, Mr. Malik, Mr. Payne, Mr. Styles, Mr. Horan, and Mr. Tomlinson. This is Dakota. She's our live-in maid and Stephanie's nanny," He makes the unnecessary introduction.
Harry widens his eyes and nudges Louis. Are they that surprised? Harry drives me here. He didn't know or? Each of the boys look at my body. First my face, then my body, then repeat. Oh. Do I look that bad or? I'm still wearing the Harry jacket. "Um, I should set the table before picking of Stephanie."
I turn around before another interruption. "Wait!" Harry shouts a little too loud. I pause and turn around to see a blushing Harry and a smirking Louis. "Uh, do you need any help? I wouldn't mind."
I look over to Blaine and he shrugs. I nod and scurry into the kitchen. If I stay there too long, there might be punishment. Harry's heavy yet quick footsteps follow me into the stark white kitchen. Majority of the house is white with not much colors added. It freaks me out, but at least you can see things in the dark.
“Dakota?” Harry enters the room when I grab the plates. “Whoa. Pizza.” I smack his hand and pass him the plate. “Sorry. Sorry, but really? I didn’t know you worked for Mr. Freeman.” I glare at him and collect the napkins. “I barely met him today if it makes you feel better. He seems kind of cold.”
I slam the napkins on the table and stare icily at him. “Try heartless and demonic.”
“Look, Simon barely told us about the meeting today,” He says and sets down the the plates. “I knew something was up. Louis told me to forget about it so I did.”
I sit down on a chair and rub my face. I don’t need him here. It’s already hell enough. “It’s just that, I don’t want you to see me like this. If something bad happens, it’s on me. My punishment is either with my fists or in bed and I don’t want that to happen.” I look up at him as he pulls up a chair and sits in front of me.
“Dakota, if you ever just want to leave this place,” He says taking my hands in his, “You’re always welcome to come to my house. Even if it’s one night.” He claps his huge, rough hands around my small, bruised ones. For the first time in a long time, I actually feel tingles in my hands. Not just the skin breaking and blood leaking. Actually feeling. I meet his gaze and look into his deep green eyes. He takes my breath away. Now I know what Harry feels. He toys with my fingers before pushing a strand of my hair behind my ear.
It was quiet enough to hear my loud rapid heartbeat that Harry was quickening. His hand cups my cheek and brushes it gently.My breathing stops when he starts to lean in. God. He doesn’t stop coming closer and I start to also. This can’t be happening. I can’t do this. My heart seems to be overriding my brain when I finally feel it.
The sparks fly when I feel his lips against my own. My first real loving kiss.
"Dakota, do you know where I put my white Vans?" Harry asks walking downstairs. The cute curly haired boy plops down on the couch next to me and pulls me close to him. I giggle and peck his cheek. Sighing, I rest my head on his chest. This never fails to make my heart flutter.
"I don't know. Did you check in our room?" I ask him and play with the hem of his shirt. Harry tends to misplace things. His shoes, keys, watches, hats, and phone. I'm the one who always finds it.
"Yes!" He yells and turns on the TV. He turns it to a gossip show where they're talking about our relationship. Yeah. Harry's mine. I have no idea what I'd do without him. He's my world and I'm his. I shake my head when they talk about him possibly cheating. I trust Harry. He won't.
As if he heard my thoughts, he laughs. "Really? You're kidding me?" I furrow my eyebrows and look up at him. His soft kind features are now sharp and cruel. He pushes me off of me and laughs. "You honestly think I'd stay with you?"
"What?" I ask before he pushes me to the ground. He stands above me and laughs.
"You're nothing, but a broken girl that won't let anyone in. You really think I was with you because I want to?" He laughs heartlessly and kicks my side. I grunt and grab my new bruise. "You're just a charity case. There's a million other girls in this world. All of them are better than you." The next kick is aimed at my stomach.
He's right. I'm just a pathetic broken girl. Why would I even give him a chance. I can't like him. I can't trust him. No one wants me. There's a million other people he can date. Wait. When did I ever develop feelings for him?
*~*~*~*
I awake with a jolting star. I gasp for a breath before sitting in my bed holding my face. God. What a f*cked up dream. I don't like Harry and I'm not just a charity case. At least, I don't think so. I hope not. I let very little people in and I always regret it. Please don't let it be this time. And as for me dating Harry. I would never date him. I know he has feelings for me, but he can’t date me. I'd just give him a bad image.
Why would my subconscious even begin to think that? I bring everyone down. My nickname was Suicide for God's sake! I can't bring Harry into this. He deserves better. Maybe I should just-
No! I've been alone for so long. If he abandons me, so what? I'm used to it. Maybe it's time to give them a chance. What do people say these days? For something. Forever. Forever alone? Another reason why I should get friends. A celebrity should be able to get me up-to-date. What's that app everyone likes going on and where they get most this stuff? I something. Something for Apple.
I push myself out of my bed and walk over to the bathroom. I take a quick shower, going lightly on my bruises, and step out to dressed. Should I wear the new clothes? What if I see Harry today? We made no plans, but what if he makes a random one? Well, I can’t wear sweatshirts forever. Maybe I can wear something different today.
I grab what I see normal people wear that would be comfortable. I chose black pants, a white shirt, and sneakers. Since I don’t feel like wearing bracelets to cover my wrists, I grab a jacket Harry bought. The 1D collection he calls it. Something special for each of the boys. I grab the blue, I think it’s a ‘varsity’, jacket with the ‘H’ on the front and ‘Styles’ on the back. Not bad.
Now, to make breakfast. In the kitchen, a note is on the table written in messy handwriting. I get closer to get a better look. It’s from Blaine.
Dakota, I’m having company over. Please prepare a meal for lunch before I come back. If not, there will be punishment. The company is a bit young. Make the dish simple and fun. - Mr.Freeman
All I’m reading is that I have to cook and I’m stuck with the brat all day. Dammit. Well, it’s six a.m right now and I have to make the she-devil breakfast before she goes to school. She always has to have egg white omelet with spinach, tomato, and mozzarella cheese drizzled. And on the side, low-fat strawberry yogurt with red raspberries. Don’t ask.
After making her food, the demon enters the kitchen looking like a disaster. Just like everyone, she doesn't look good when she wakes up. Though she still looks better than me. And here comes the insults in five, four, three, two, one.
“Wow Deborah,” Still doesn't know my name, “You are trying so hard to impress Harry. You stole him from us. Don’t make the loyal directioners look stupid.” She scoffs looking at my outfit. “That shirt doesn't fit you and those jeans make your ass look huge. The jacket just throws the whole thing off.” Do I look that bad? I glance down. She’s right. I do look stupid. "I don't know why you're trying so hard," I look up to meet her eyes, "but you should just stop. Harry deserves better."
She glares at me while eating her breakfast before she leaves to get ready. While she does that, I plan out the lunch that I should start cooking.
*~*~*~*
Young and simple. Well, I made something that teens might like. Handmade pizzas with different toppings on each, peanut butter and walnut brownie, and tea. Personally, I don't like tea, but majority of the people I meet do.
I take the pizza out of the oven and on the counter. Now to just let them- Slam! Nevermind. Multiple voices sound out signalling their arrival. I wipe my hands on a dish rag and pull on my jacket. Time to get going. "Diana!" Seriously. Is it that hard to remember my name? Three small syllables. My name is a part of two states! "Come here!"
I adjust my jacket and walk out to the living room. Blaine stands with his back to his company which I give no attention to. "Dana."
"It's Dakota, sir," I remind him. "What do you request?"
"Is the food ready?" He asks.
I nod. "It's in the kitchen. Do you want me to retrieve it?" He shakes his head. The six sitting on the long couch stand and face us. Oh. The gray haired guy is Simon Cowell. No offense, but he's not young. My eyes scan over the next people. Oh sh*t.
"Mr. Cowell, Mr. Malik, Mr. Payne, Mr. Styles, Mr. Horan, and Mr. Tomlinson. This is Dakota. She's our live-in maid and Stephanie's nanny," He makes the unnecessary introduction.
Harry widens his eyes and nudges Louis. Are they that surprised? Harry drives me here. He didn't know or? Each of the boys look at my body. First my face, then my body, then repeat. Oh. Do I look that bad or? I'm still wearing the Harry jacket. "Um, I should set the table before picking of Stephanie."
I turn around before another interruption. "Wait!" Harry shouts a little too loud. I pause and turn around to see a blushing Harry and a smirking Louis. "Uh, do you need any help? I wouldn't mind."
I look over to Blaine and he shrugs. I nod and scurry into the kitchen. If I stay there too long, there might be punishment. Harry's heavy yet quick footsteps follow me into the stark white kitchen. Majority of the house is white with not much colors added. It freaks me out, but at least you can see things in the dark.
“Dakota?” Harry enters the room when I grab the plates. “Whoa. Pizza.” I smack his hand and pass him the plate. “Sorry. Sorry, but really? I didn’t know you worked for Mr. Freeman.” I glare at him and collect the napkins. “I barely met him today if it makes you feel better. He seems kind of cold.”
I slam the napkins on the table and stare icily at him. “Try heartless and demonic.”
“Look, Simon barely told us about the meeting today,” He says and sets down the the plates. “I knew something was up. Louis told me to forget about it so I did.”
I sit down on a chair and rub my face. I don’t need him here. It’s already hell enough. “It’s just that, I don’t want you to see me like this. If something bad happens, it’s on me. My punishment is either with my fists or in bed and I don’t want that to happen.” I look up at him as he pulls up a chair and sits in front of me.
“Dakota, if you ever just want to leave this place,” He says taking my hands in his, “You’re always welcome to come to my house. Even if it’s one night.” He claps his huge, rough hands around my small, bruised ones. For the first time in a long time, I actually feel tingles in my hands. Not just the skin breaking and blood leaking. Actually feeling. I meet his gaze and look into his deep green eyes. He takes my breath away. Now I know what Harry feels. He toys with my fingers before pushing a strand of my hair behind my ear.
It was quiet enough to hear my loud rapid heartbeat that Harry was quickening. His hand cups my cheek and brushes it gently.My breathing stops when he starts to lean in. God. He doesn’t stop coming closer and I start to also. This can’t be happening. I can’t do this. My heart seems to be overriding my brain when I finally feel it.
The sparks fly when I feel his lips against my own. My first real loving kiss.
Ah the day after my birthday! Yay! And I probably would read 'A Broken Princess' !!!!!
12/31/13