Journals
Only One
Dakota’s POV
Do I look okay? I mean, I’m not pretty. I don’t know why Harry said I look ‘amazing’. No one’s ever called me that. Unless it’s framed like this: “It’s amazing that someone hasn’t thrown you out because you are just trash.” Something like that. But no. Harry called me amazing and gave me his necklace. He’s sweet.
After buying me a whole wardrobe even though I argued not to, he takes me to the food court. He takes me to a nearby pizza parlor and gets a table. I finally let go of his hand and sit down across from him at the table. Not many people look at me in disgust which surprises me. I feel... normal. Which is weird since I’m hanging out with a pop star who professed his love a couple days before.
Harry orders a regular pepperoni pizza and some bread sticks when the waiter comes. He quickly leaves sending me a smile. Um. No guy has ever given me a smile. Well, if you don’t count Harry, Liam, Zayn, Louis, and Niall. Those guys smile at everyone. Especially Niall. But when it’s just Harry and I, he just can’t stop smiling. It’s kind of creepy, but at the same time nice.
“Harry?” I ask after a long period of silence. He hums in response. “I was wondering. Why didn’t you just leave me be? Most people just stop after they say something.” I want to know why he tried more than Clay.
He shrugs, “I don’t know. I just thought you were worth it. And I’m right. You’re gorgeous, smart, and very headstrong. I like it.” I’m not sure if I should be offended or not since he called me headstrong. “Speaking of, I really like how I can finally see you without oversized clothing.”
I smile, "It's a little different than what I'm used to. Are you sure I look alright? I mean, everyone says-"
"Let's not think about everyone," He interrupts. He looks me straight in the eyes with sympathy. "All that matters is that I think you're beautiful and so should you."
I shake my head, "I can't be beautiful. Stuff like that is what you're born with. I was born ugly."
Harry doesn't add anything as the pizza comes along with the breadsticks. The waiter smiles at me again and winks. Is there something in his eye or something? Maybe he's looking at someone else. I am so confused.
When he leaves, I ask, “Harry? What does it mean when a guy winks at you? That guy was all smile-ly when he looked at me.”
He chuckles, “It’s called flirting. It means he likes you.”
Now it’s my turn to laugh. He must be mad. Me? A guy likes me? Pff. Puh-lease. “Um, are you bonkers? No man would chat me up.”
“You’re kidding right?” He says. “Any guy would be lucky to be with you.”
I roll my eyes, “No way. One look at my school pictures will change everyone’s minds.”
“How could a few pictures change people’s minds?” He asks.
I sigh, “Let’s see, I had lots of acne, braces, and glasses. I barely got out of my glasses two months ago. My braces were taken off six months ago. I’m still working on getting rid of the leftover acne. I was not a pretty school girl.”
He laughs, “You’re kidding.” I shake my head. “Still, that girl grew up to be the most gorgeous person I know.” He smiles. “That guy was flirting with you because he also thinks so. See, it’s not just me.”
I chuckle, “Yeah, but no one knows me like you do. You have more of a reason. I, on other hand, have no idea who you other than you’re from Holmes Chapel, have one sister, nineteen years old, speak french, and have four nipples. Which I have witnessed first hand.” I shiver at the thought. Never do I want to see that again.
“What do you want to know about me?” He asks while shrugging.
“Anything,” I tell him and hesitantly grab a slice of pizza. Maybe I can just nibble it. If I didn’t grab one, Harry would get on me about it. “Like why you chose to become a singer.”
He smiles, “Sit tight because this is a long story.”
*~*~*~*
He was right. After an hour or two, he’s finally done talking about his X Factor experience. He's really passionate about what he's doing. I have yet to find my calling. I mean, what can I do? I can clean. That's about it.
"I'm glad you found something you're good at and love doing," I say.
"You haven't found anything?" Harry asks and I respond with a shake of my head. "Have you seen your writing? It's so deep and beautiful. When I read it, I could imagne you reading it directly to me. You have a gift."
"Why do always make me sound better than I really am?" I ask and sip my Sprite. "I have no talent and I'm ugly. You make me sound like a goddess."
He shrugs, "You're a goddess in my eyes."
I shake my head, "I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'll be right back." He nods and I walk away. Most girls like going in bunches to the bathroom. I just like going to the bathroom without being harassed. Now that I'm with a popular singer, those chances are multiplied. Just relax, Dakota. Just go in and out and you'll be fine.
Inside the bathroom, five girls stand in front of each of the mirrors laughing and fixing their hair. Their eyes flick over to me when I enter making me uncomfortable. Relax Dakota. Maybe they'll leave you-
"You." I stop and turn around slowly to them. The girls glare daggers at me. I'm sensing some hostile Directioners here. Here we go again. "You're that b*tch taking Harry away from us," the blonde says.
"Where's your sweatshirt and tears, c*nt?" A brunette adds.
They start walking towards me and back away. "What does he even see in you?" The redhead asks and pushes me against the wall. "You're ugly."
"Not to mention fat," Another adds and pushes me again so the back of my head throbs. My vision blurs for a second before they push me again. “Seriously. Just give up. Any one of us would be better than you.’
I should talk. Defend myself, but I can’t. I don’t know how. I’m too scared. Just like always. God. What have I done to deserve any of this. They push my harder making me fall. Tears brim my eyes as the kick me with their heels. I ball myself up in the fetal position as the continue to hurt and insult me. Why won’t they stop?
“Let’s go,” Her voice sounds like music to my ear. They’re leaving. Finally. They fit in one more kick leaving me with my new bruises. I should get up. If I’m gone too long, Harry’ll worry. I push my body up and steady myself against the wall. I low groan escapes my mouth as I grab my side. That heel dug in pretty deep. I walk around a little to make sure I’m not limping before walking out.
I hide the pain the best I can and start walking to Harry. The girls who hurt me aren’t in sight so I assume they left. I tap Harry shoulder signalling my arrival. He turns around automatically stands up. “What happened?”
“Directioners,” I tell him. “Can we just go?”
He nods and grabs the shopping bags. “Let’s go.” He wraps an arm around me.
I bury my face in his side trying to hide my tears. Why does the world have to be so cruel? Especially to me? I cry into his side as he helps me out of the mall. Harry really is one of the only people I have.
Do I look okay? I mean, I’m not pretty. I don’t know why Harry said I look ‘amazing’. No one’s ever called me that. Unless it’s framed like this: “It’s amazing that someone hasn’t thrown you out because you are just trash.” Something like that. But no. Harry called me amazing and gave me his necklace. He’s sweet.
After buying me a whole wardrobe even though I argued not to, he takes me to the food court. He takes me to a nearby pizza parlor and gets a table. I finally let go of his hand and sit down across from him at the table. Not many people look at me in disgust which surprises me. I feel... normal. Which is weird since I’m hanging out with a pop star who professed his love a couple days before.
Harry orders a regular pepperoni pizza and some bread sticks when the waiter comes. He quickly leaves sending me a smile. Um. No guy has ever given me a smile. Well, if you don’t count Harry, Liam, Zayn, Louis, and Niall. Those guys smile at everyone. Especially Niall. But when it’s just Harry and I, he just can’t stop smiling. It’s kind of creepy, but at the same time nice.
“Harry?” I ask after a long period of silence. He hums in response. “I was wondering. Why didn’t you just leave me be? Most people just stop after they say something.” I want to know why he tried more than Clay.
He shrugs, “I don’t know. I just thought you were worth it. And I’m right. You’re gorgeous, smart, and very headstrong. I like it.” I’m not sure if I should be offended or not since he called me headstrong. “Speaking of, I really like how I can finally see you without oversized clothing.”
I smile, "It's a little different than what I'm used to. Are you sure I look alright? I mean, everyone says-"
"Let's not think about everyone," He interrupts. He looks me straight in the eyes with sympathy. "All that matters is that I think you're beautiful and so should you."
I shake my head, "I can't be beautiful. Stuff like that is what you're born with. I was born ugly."
Harry doesn't add anything as the pizza comes along with the breadsticks. The waiter smiles at me again and winks. Is there something in his eye or something? Maybe he's looking at someone else. I am so confused.
When he leaves, I ask, “Harry? What does it mean when a guy winks at you? That guy was all smile-ly when he looked at me.”
He chuckles, “It’s called flirting. It means he likes you.”
Now it’s my turn to laugh. He must be mad. Me? A guy likes me? Pff. Puh-lease. “Um, are you bonkers? No man would chat me up.”
“You’re kidding right?” He says. “Any guy would be lucky to be with you.”
I roll my eyes, “No way. One look at my school pictures will change everyone’s minds.”
“How could a few pictures change people’s minds?” He asks.
I sigh, “Let’s see, I had lots of acne, braces, and glasses. I barely got out of my glasses two months ago. My braces were taken off six months ago. I’m still working on getting rid of the leftover acne. I was not a pretty school girl.”
He laughs, “You’re kidding.” I shake my head. “Still, that girl grew up to be the most gorgeous person I know.” He smiles. “That guy was flirting with you because he also thinks so. See, it’s not just me.”
I chuckle, “Yeah, but no one knows me like you do. You have more of a reason. I, on other hand, have no idea who you other than you’re from Holmes Chapel, have one sister, nineteen years old, speak french, and have four nipples. Which I have witnessed first hand.” I shiver at the thought. Never do I want to see that again.
“What do you want to know about me?” He asks while shrugging.
“Anything,” I tell him and hesitantly grab a slice of pizza. Maybe I can just nibble it. If I didn’t grab one, Harry would get on me about it. “Like why you chose to become a singer.”
He smiles, “Sit tight because this is a long story.”
*~*~*~*
He was right. After an hour or two, he’s finally done talking about his X Factor experience. He's really passionate about what he's doing. I have yet to find my calling. I mean, what can I do? I can clean. That's about it.
"I'm glad you found something you're good at and love doing," I say.
"You haven't found anything?" Harry asks and I respond with a shake of my head. "Have you seen your writing? It's so deep and beautiful. When I read it, I could imagne you reading it directly to me. You have a gift."
"Why do always make me sound better than I really am?" I ask and sip my Sprite. "I have no talent and I'm ugly. You make me sound like a goddess."
He shrugs, "You're a goddess in my eyes."
I shake my head, "I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'll be right back." He nods and I walk away. Most girls like going in bunches to the bathroom. I just like going to the bathroom without being harassed. Now that I'm with a popular singer, those chances are multiplied. Just relax, Dakota. Just go in and out and you'll be fine.
Inside the bathroom, five girls stand in front of each of the mirrors laughing and fixing their hair. Their eyes flick over to me when I enter making me uncomfortable. Relax Dakota. Maybe they'll leave you-
"You." I stop and turn around slowly to them. The girls glare daggers at me. I'm sensing some hostile Directioners here. Here we go again. "You're that b*tch taking Harry away from us," the blonde says.
"Where's your sweatshirt and tears, c*nt?" A brunette adds.
They start walking towards me and back away. "What does he even see in you?" The redhead asks and pushes me against the wall. "You're ugly."
"Not to mention fat," Another adds and pushes me again so the back of my head throbs. My vision blurs for a second before they push me again. “Seriously. Just give up. Any one of us would be better than you.’
I should talk. Defend myself, but I can’t. I don’t know how. I’m too scared. Just like always. God. What have I done to deserve any of this. They push my harder making me fall. Tears brim my eyes as the kick me with their heels. I ball myself up in the fetal position as the continue to hurt and insult me. Why won’t they stop?
“Let’s go,” Her voice sounds like music to my ear. They’re leaving. Finally. They fit in one more kick leaving me with my new bruises. I should get up. If I’m gone too long, Harry’ll worry. I push my body up and steady myself against the wall. I low groan escapes my mouth as I grab my side. That heel dug in pretty deep. I walk around a little to make sure I’m not limping before walking out.
I hide the pain the best I can and start walking to Harry. The girls who hurt me aren’t in sight so I assume they left. I tap Harry shoulder signalling my arrival. He turns around automatically stands up. “What happened?”
“Directioners,” I tell him. “Can we just go?”
He nods and grabs the shopping bags. “Let’s go.” He wraps an arm around me.
I bury my face in his side trying to hide my tears. Why does the world have to be so cruel? Especially to me? I cry into his side as he helps me out of the mall. Harry really is one of the only people I have.
Ah the day after my birthday! Yay! And I probably would read 'A Broken Princess' !!!!!
12/31/13