“Tell me more about us.” Harrys legs were spread open and he was leaning against the hospital bed with Louis in between his leg, his back against his chest.
“What do you want to know?”
“Everything.”
“That’s a lot.”
“Show me pictures of us…or even better, videos!”
“Well there’s a lot about us from the x-factor. We used to do video diaries.” Louis remembered those, from his…memory?
“Show me them.”
“There are a lot of them.”
“I don’t care.”
“Okie dokie.” Harry pulled out his laptop and logged onto YouTube. He pulled up “video diary week 1”.
Louis thought it was the funniest thing that he’d ever heard. Everyone in the hospital could hear his laughter as he watched his eighteen year old self act like an idiot. He even commented on the many times he would cuddle up to Harry or bite him or mess up his hair.
“I wish I could remember this.”Louis said with a sigh after the last video diary. Harry shut the laptop “We were having so much fun…I want to remember that. I want…I want to remember what it was like to fall in love with you the first time.”
“The first time?”
“Well…yeah. You’ve gotten me to fall in love with you twice. I just, want to know what it was like the first time.” Louis looked up at him with puffy red eyes, and Harry felt the full weight of his guilt crush him.
He did this. He caused him to lose his memory and now Louis will never remember all of those precious, once-in-a-lifetime moments. And it’s all his fault.
Harry felt the sudden need to run. Run wherever his feet could carry him, just so he wouldn’t have to see Louis pain filled eyes again.
And that’s what he did.
He ran.
(Start playing http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YSapz4iH_68 while you read.)
He ignored Louis’ confused shouts and the nurses telling him to “Slow down!” This was just too much. Everything.
He had fucking hurt his boobear and he was a horrible person for that and he deserved to die. He had taken everything away from Louis.
Monster.
Idiot.
Asshole.
Freak.
He kept running and running until he reached the crossroads on the edge of the hospital and didn’t know what to do know. He tugged at his hair and fell down to his knees and cried.
He cried for Louis.
He cried for all those memories thrown out the window.
He cried for that innocent, little fourteen year old brain.
He cried for the little boy whose perfect lips he’d touched with his own disgusting ones.
And he cried for himself.
And then he let out a scream, getting a look from the many Doncaster citizens crowding the sidewalks.
“Mummy! That’s’ Harry Styles!” a little girl pointed. The mother looked at him disapprovingly
“That’s the boy you worship?” The little girl nodded and rushed to Harry
“What’s wrong?” she asked gently. She had to be at least seven, pretty brown colored hair with bright blue eyes that reminded him of Louis’.
“Everything.” He croaked out.
“Get away from that freak.” The mother spat and tugged her child away.
Freak. Freak. Freak. Freak.
Harry let out a broken sob and cried into his hands.
Everyone knows he’s a freak. Even if the story hasn’t been covered by press. They know.
Harry must have sat there for hours. People who recognized him would take pictures like he was some caged animal, occasionally trying to comfort him until their fathers or mothers pulled them away. But one little girl’s parents happened to be two men, and they allowed their daughter to sit next to Harry for longer than the others did. She was strawberry blonde with blue-green eyes and very pale skin. She had to be at least twelve.
“What’s wrong?” she whispered comfortingly into his ear, and he gave the same answer that he had given everyone else.
“Everything.” But, she was the only one who pried a little further
“Define everything.” Harry drew in a deep breath and began to talk
“My boyfriend, Louis William Tomlinson, lost eight years of his memory two days before I was going to propose to him. But the worst part of this is that it was my fault he lost his memory.”
“I’m sure it’s not yo-“
“No.” he stopped one of the girls’ fathers from speaking “This isn’t some incident where I was driving the car that crashed. I attacked him. With nothing but my fists.” He waited for the words that would be spoken next.
“He loves you.” The girl spoke quietly “Still does. Because I see the way Louis looks at you and love like that can’t be broken by this. It can’t be broken by anything. It’s the same way my dad’s look at each other.” She stood up and pulled Harry with her “Go get your man back.”
With new confidence, Harry thanked them and stepped of the curb, only to feel the impact of something heavy hit him.