Login with:

Facebook

Twitter

Tumblr

Google

Yahoo

Aol.

Mibba

Your info will not be visible on the site. After logging in for the first time you'll be able to choose your display name.

Because of Rosalie

Chapter 03: Someone Worth Keeping

[Harry]

The plate of pasta sitting in front of me doesn't even look appealing anymore. The wine in the tall glass won't be able to quench my thirst. Nothing will satisfy me from this point on, nothing at all. The sound of my mother saying my name makes my gaze lift to where she sits across the table from me.

"Aren't you going to eat, Harry?" She asks, a slight bit of worry in her voice.

I shrug, "Not really hungry anymore."

"You're the one that wanted to have dinner. Is.. is everything alright?" My sister, who sat to the left of our mother, is the next to speak.

"M'fine."

They both share a look of concern before they continue eating. My stomach is churning at the thought of putting food down my throat. I have not been capable of eating in the past few nights - this last week actually. Despite being slightly worried about my own health, I would never tell my mother how things are going. I don't want her to fret about me more than she already does on a daily basis. She loves me far beyond what words can describe, I've never been able to comprehend how she could just love me without thinking.

"Baby, you look pale. Is everything fine in school?" My mother questions, her eyes squinting as she looks over my features - all of which show a definite sign of depression.

"Mum, he isn't in grade school anymore." Gemma laughs faintly, her attempt to ease the intensity failed greatly.

"That doesn't mean he isn't having problems, honey. It could be the stress from all the classes."

"He knew the heavy load he was getting himself in to. Future Dr. Styles over there."

"It's not school." I interrupt them, tired of hearing about my life choices. My sister annoys me, always bringing up the fact that our father wished I had went into business so that I would be fit to take over the company one day. I hate what my father does, it's quite boring and I intend to be doing that the rest of my life.

"If it isn't school, it has to be that girl. What's her name, eh, Jinger? Um.. or is it Jenna?" The words coming from my sister's mouth make me clench my fists in anger under the table. The last thing I want to do is lash out in front of my mother.

"It's Jenny." My heart stings as I hear my mother say that name, the very name that - just days ago - I was so excited to see pop up on my phone screen. Things change, I suppose.

"Oh, yeah. That's right." Gemma laughs, rolling her eyes at herself for being unable to remember the name of what used to be my love interest.

"I never should've told you about her." I mumble, mainly to my own ears but I know they both heard me clearly.

"Why's that, baby? Is everything going well with her?" My mother leans closer to the table, her eyes full of distress as she stares at me, trying her hardest to figure out what has be so sorrowful.

"She probably looked at him the wrong way, you know how emotional he is. Little sensitive Harry-Berry."

"Fucking shut it, Gemma." I snap suddenly, feeling my veins bulge all over.

"Harry." My mother sighs, ashamed that I've crumbled under my sister's childish taunts. I'm quite used to having to go off on her to get her to shut her trap.

"And you, behave yourself." She gives my sister a stern look but I know it won't fix anything. Despite our ages, she's still so immature around me. Gemma is constantly trying to tip me off the edge, it's like she craves to see me finally explode in utter anger and madness. It's gotten worse as I've aged. "Now, why do you say you shouldn't have said anything about her, dear?"

I allow my eyes to lower to my lap, where I start to nervously pick at the skin around my left thumb. Jenny once told me that I needed to break that habit. I was working on it, until we broke things off. I gave up, since there was no point in it anymore.

"Harry?" Mum says, her voice soft like a feather.

She's always been the best at controlling me. We have a strong connection. I'm not sure if it's because I'm her youngest child, or if it's because my dad never attempted to have a strong bond with either of us. We had to go to Mum for everything. He was always at work. That's why I don't want that profession. I don't have a desire to take over the family business that he's already wrapped so many of our relatives into. Nor do I ever dream of living the way he does. In the future, if I ever settle down and have a family, I'd like to be there with them, for them - not just arrive home after they've all gone to bed.

"You can tell me anything, sweetheart." She reminds me, making my heart break a little more than it already was.

I lift my head, our eyes meeting instantly. She gives me a warm smile, and an encouraging nod. I take a deep breath, my eyes flickering to my sister - who is just sitting there quietly waiting to hear what's on my mind.

"We, um, we.. ended things."

Every time I think about it my heart starts to slow down to a dangerous level, and my throat swells. My stomach flips over, and my lungs feel like cement. We didn't decide on anything, it was all me.

"Why's that, sweetie? Did things just.. not work out? Was she.. not the girl you thought she was?"

I smile gently at my mother's words, only finding them funny because it's the opposite of what I believe. Jenny is more than the girl I thought she was - she's beautiful, has a kind heart and a pure soul, she's gorgeous, intelligent, funny, adorable, and more than anything, she's perfect. Or so I thought. A perfect person wouldn't lie..

"No, Mum. We just.. have different priorities in life, s'all. Nothing wrong with her.. just.. differences."

"These weren't things you two could work out?"

I shake my head, grabbing the glass of wine off the table. I bring the rim to my mouth, speaking before I take a sip of the red liquid. "I wasn't willing."

A heavy sigh comes from her, I can immediately tell she's disappointed in me, despite not even being aware of what exactly happened with me and Jenny.

"Sometimes.. we have to adjust things.. especially when it involves someone we care about." Mum tells me, sincerity held in her eyes.

The lump in my throat is pushed down my the wine, but I can tell it will reform in the very same spot in a few minutes. I pick up my fork, hoping they both get the idea that I'm ready to end this conversation and just finish my meal. I don't want to leave my mother hanging on her own statement, so I do reply one final time to them.

"If she cared about me, Mum, she would have told me. Clearly, she doesn't care.. and nor do I."



--



All I want to do is break the pencil across my thigh - I can't believe I've let myself draw her again. I have tons of pages filled with her beautiful face, quick sketches of her figure, and detailed drawings of her eyes. I love her eyes, gosh they are breath taking. Beautiful and blue. Her blonde hair cascaded down her back, always curled when we met in person. I never had the opportunity to see it naturally. I'd bet it's just as beautiful and soft.

"Fuck."

I walk away from the table, not wanting to remind myself of that girl any longer than I have. I shouldn't have allowed it to carry on this far. I should have stopped when I started to draw her sculpted brows. Her image is burned into my mind, I will never be able to forget the way she looked or how perfect her features were. The thought of her won't leave my head - or my heart - for the rest of time. She'll be the reason I lose all sanity one day, the reason I just go mental.

My day was partially going well until I met with my mother and sister for dinner. They just had to bring her up, almost torturing me for information. There was a part of me on fire earlier, dying to tell my mother what I saw - what I realized the last night I had seen Jenny. Yet, I refrained from informing them about her child. That isn't my business to be spreading around.

With a force I didn't know I could ignite, I threw myself against the wall, my eyes burning holes through the bed sitting in the middle of my room. I want to set it on fire, the thought of her never ending up there drives me mad. Of course, having that intimate experience with her wasn't the only thing I wanted in life. I wanted us to be happy, to watch movies together, stay up all night telling stories of our childhood, and more than anything I wanted to fall asleep beside her, just to wake up to her beautiful existence when the sun rose.

I tear my gaze from the bed, I don't want things to start appearing in my mind again. The fact that I enabled myself to behave the way I did that night, in front of her mother and her daughter, makes me want to kick myself to death. The discussion of meeting her mother never really blossomed during any our dates, perhaps we just hadn't got to that point yet. Truly, I held a desire to know what her mother thought of me. I'm sure she spoke about me, I did the same with my own mother. I told her everything. I let her in on how perfect things were going, on how fucking happy I was that something in my life was going well for once - that I had finally found someone worth keeping.

Love has never been my specialty. Failed first dates, short flings that never meant anything, hook ups just to ease the sexual frustration - it was all nothing compared to being with Jenny. She made me into a whole other person, she brought out my actual character. She showed me how good it could feel to be in love, to be so caught up in someone else that you barely notice your own existence.

I saw it in her eyes, when I looked at her I could see the love. Yet, I let it die out. We could be going on another date tonight, but here I am letting tears slide down my cheeks as I think about what could have been. I was such an idiot, such a fucking idiot. It's far too late to change things. She hates me.. and I don't blame her.

The thought that continues to repeat in my mind is that one day she will find someone who is perfect for her, who can treat her right, and give both her and her daughter a good life. She'll be able to celebrate with them when she finishes school. They'll be able to enjoy life together, to raise her daughter and to extend the family.

God knows I wanted that person to be me - but the thought of having to raise a child frightens me more than anything I've ever faced. I am not a father figure, I am not that kind of person. Heavily I regret being the person I am.. things could be different for me. Things could be perfect with Jenny. Life definitely could have been much brighter for me.

Notes

I know things are running at a slow pace, but you have to keep in mind that it's just the third chapter. The plot is being set up as the story progresses. Anyways, if you have made it this far, t h a n k y o u s o m u c h!!!!! it means the world to me! Please leave me some comments about how you feel so far and what you think will happen!

xoxoxoxoxoxo --- updates will be continued unless this doesn't go well.. :/

Comments

@LovelyLeelah
thank you, I'm very glad you're enjoying it!! xxoo

jenniferhoran. jenniferhoran.
7/10/19

Hello my love. My name is Leelah and I'm new here.

So far, this is pretty good and I'm enjoying it. I also want to break Harry's d*ck off because he's being an ass

I'm looking forward to reading more and finding out more about Jenny and Rosalie

LovelyLeelah LovelyLeelah
5/18/19

god im so addicted! i want them to be together but idk im torn!! keep up the great work

Allie Miller Allie Miller
5/16/19

Bleh I'm torn between wanting them to be together and all cute and having Jenny not let Harry off that easily!
Can't wait for the next one!

ontheedge ontheedge
4/5/19