Safe Haven
Love You Goodbye
Am I asleep, am I awake, or somewhere in between?
I can’t believe that you are here and lying next to me
Or did I dream that we were perfectly entwined?
Like branches on a tree, or twigs caught on a vine?
I jolted awake at the sound of my iPhone chiming. I scrambled around in my sheets, searching for it before the noise woke Niall up. It was still dark, so I knew it was some ungodly hour. I finally found my phone underneath a pillow, and when I picked it up the screen nearly blinded me. Squinting at the picture on the screen, I realized it was Savannah calling.
“Hello?” I huffed.
“Autumn! Thank God you woke up I’ve called you like three times! Open the door!”
“What? Why are you calling me in the middle of the night?” I responded, still in a sleepy haze.
“It’s 5 a.m.! My flight is today. I need to be at the airport remember? Come on, open the door!”
“Okay, okay. I’m coming just stop yelling.” I somehow found the strength to pull myself out my nice, warm bed. When I opened the door, we both stared at each other awkwardly. Savannah was in the same clothes from yesterday, her makeup smudged and her long, wavy hair in a tangled mess - but somehow she looked more beautiful than ever. Annoying.
“Well are you going to come inside?” I asked.
“Do you sleep in lingerie now?” she scoffed, looking me up and down. I realized I was still wearing only my bralette and thong. I’m glad the hallway was dimly lit or else she would have seen how red my face had gotten.
“What about you? You spend the night with random guys now?” I don’t know why, but something about her tone of voice made her sound judgmental, which really seemed to irritate me.
“Whatever. Let’s just get inside so I can pack up my things.”
As we tiptoed into the room, I quickly grabbed Niall’s t-shirt off of the floor and draped it over my body. The soft material felt so good on my skin, and I smiled to myself. Savannah, being the prepared woman that she is, had already packed most of her things. All she had left to do was change her clothes and wash up in the bathroom.
“So this is what we do now?” she whispered harshly.
“What are you talking about?” I whispered back, defensively. She gestured towards the bed.
I scoffed, “Ugh, you have no right to judge me. Since when do sleep with random guys you just met? Or sleep with guys at all?!”
“Autumn, a lot has changed since you left town, okay? You’re not my mom. So don’t concern yourself with what I’m doing in my spare time. You should be worrying about what you’re doing.” She accused.
“Did you really sleep with Liam last night? Like…actually have sex?” I questioned.
“That’s none of your business, okay? You shouldn’t be giving up your virginity just because a guy pays attention to you for once.” Even though we were still whispering, her bitter words hurt me.
“How could you say something like that? You’re the worst friend ever!”
“Oh, please,” she rolled her eyes at me. “You know what I meant. Just – just be careful okay?”
“Yeah, okay. Whatever.”
I helped her gather the last of her things, and we did one last sweep of my dorm to make sure nothing was left behind. Neither of us felt like doing any more talking after our little argument. I slipped on a pair of comfy shorts and fuzzy slippers and helped her carry the luggage downstairs where her Uber was waiting.
“Well…. I guess this is goodbye,” I sighed.
“I guess so,” she responded. “I’ll let you know when I land.”
“Okay.” As mad as I was at her in the moment, I couldn’t resist stretching my arms out and hugging her. I could tell she was on the verge of tears, because she wouldn’t look at me. She squeezed me back hard, quickly turned away, and hopped into the Uber. The last thing I saw was her pale hand waving back at me through the rear window.
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*Niall’s POV*
I heard Autumn rumbling around in the sheets, but I couldn’t bring myself to open my eyes – or move for that matter. She answered the phone, and I could tell she was irritated. I was going to turn to her and say good morning, but then I realized she was getting out of bed. I decided to just lay there and wait for her to come back to bed. I definitely didn’t have energy to get up. I could hear two girls whisper shouting from the door and figured it was either Savannah or Kelsey. Once they came into the room, I realized they were talking about me.
“So this is what we do now?”
“What are you talking about?” I instantly recognized Autumn’s soft voice. I peeked out of the corner of my eye and saw Savannah nod in my direction. Suddenly I felt extremely awkward and I didn’t know what to do, so I shut my eyes and pretended to be asleep.
“Ugh, you have no right to judge me. Since when do sleep with random guys you just met? Or sleep with guys at all?!”
“Autumn, a lot has changed since you left town, okay? You’re not my mom. So don’t concern yourself with what I’m doing in my spare time. You should be worrying about what you’re doing.” Shite, I thought, I don’t think I’m supposed to be hearing this….
“Did you really sleep with Liam last night? Like…actually have sex?”
“That’s none of your business, okay? You shouldn’t be giving up your virginity just because a guy pays attention to you for once.”
“How could you say something like that? You’re the worst friend ever!”
“Oh, please, you know what I meant. Just – just be careful okay?”
“Yeah, okay. Whatever.”
It was eerily quiet after that, besides the shuffling noises as Savannah packed up the last of her belongings. It wasn’t until I heard the door close that I realized I had been holding my breath. I let out a deep sigh and rolled over onto my back. Hmm, it’s still dark out. I reached for my phone to check the time: 5:35 a.m. Oddly enough I was feeling energetic and couldn’t force myself back to sleep. Sitting up in the bed, I stared at the ceiling and went over their conversation in my head. Autumn is a virgin…. Did I take things too far last night? The last thing I want to do is pressure her into doing something she’ll regret. Or – even worse – leading her on when I didn’t even know if I was ready for a relationship.
“Get it together, Niall” I whispered to myself. I know I like Autumn, so I don’t want to rush into things. I’ll just have to take things slow…no matter how badly I wanted her. I was scrolling through my phone when I heard Autumn sneaking back in. There was a loud thud and an Ouch! God she’s clumsy…I love it. She let out a tiny squeal as she turned the corner and realized I was awake.
“Oh! You’re awake! Sorry if I woke you up,” she smiled at me. She was dressed in my t-shirt – which fit her like a dress – her long brown hair resting gently on her shoulders.
“No need to apologize, I was already awake. Good morning, beautiful.” I smiled back at her. She crawled into bed and snuggled up next to me. I kissed the top of her head and breathed in that lovely fruity shampoo scent.
“Well I don’t know about you, but I am starving! You wanna go get breakfast or something?” She looked up and smiled, but I could tell she had been crying because her eyes were red and slightly puffy. Oh gosh, I hope she hasn’t been crying about me. The thought made me tense up.
“Erm-“ before I could respond my phone chimed. I glanced down at my screen and saw a reminder for tennis practice at 7 a.m. Shite. “I would love to, but unfortunately I have a tennis match in an hour.”
“Oh.” She sounded so sad…. “Okay, I understand.”
“I’m sorry princess. I’ll make it up to you over breakfast tomorrow, yeah?” I had picked up an extra shift tonight to cover the day I missed last week, so tomorrow was my only free time.
“Yeah, of course. That would be great! I guess you’ll have to get going then. I’ll walk you to the door.”
I put on my jeans and Vans and stuffed my phone in my pocket. It wasn’t until we reached the door that I realized I had completely forgotten my shirt.
“I guess you’ll be needing this back,” she giggled, tugging on the t-shirt. I wanted to take it off of her right there in the doorway and carry her back to bed, but I resisted the urge.
“No it’s fine, you should keep it. It looks better on you anyways,” I winked and her face instantly turned red.
“Goodbye, Niall.” She stepped closer and planted a kiss on my lips. I could tell she wanted more too, because when I kissed her back she tried to stick her tongue into my mouth. I could feel myself getting hard, and was about to bring her closer but then I remembered something. Niall, she’s a virgin. Take it slow…. I quickly pulled back.
“Goodbye, Autumn.” I left in a hurry to get back to my dorm, using my hat to cover the bulge growing in my jeans.
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*Autumn’s POV*
As I watched Niall walk swiftly down the hallway I began to worry. He left in such a hurry I could only assume that I had done something wrong. Was it something I said? Was it something I did? Maybe I was too forward about inviting him to breakfast. Oh God, I practically asked him on a date! Maybe Savannah was right…. A boy is finally interested in me and I blew it. I should have known. College is different. Maybe the boys here hook up and it means nothing. College is all about being “fun” and “spontaneous” right?
I could sense I was spiraling; my overthinking was getting the best of me. I needed to talk to someone about all of this…. I obviously couldn’t talk to Savannah. Kelsey was next on my list, but I knew she was spending the day with Greg so that wasn’t an option. I certainly couldn’t call my mom because she would put me on the next flight back home. I decided to call Harry, hoping he’d be awake this early. He answered on the first ring.
“Autumn! Good morning, how are you?”
“I’m fine. You sound very chipper this morning, Harold. What are you up to?”
“I’ve just finished my morning yoga and was about to head out for breakfast. Would you like to join me?”
Morning yoga? This boy is full of surprises. I chuckled a bit, “that actually sounds perfect. I have a few things I need to get off my mind and was hoping you’d be free to talk.”
“You know I’m always here for you, love. Meet me at my place in 30 minutes?”
“Perfect, see you then.”
“Byeee!”
I dragged myself into the shower and threw on some jeans and my favorite NASA t-shirt. Harry has a special way of making me smile whenever I see him, and that is just what I needed after everything that went down this morning.
When I finally go to meet him and explain what’s been going on, I had no idea what I would be getting myself into….
