When the winds are breathing low

„ You should go and see his show, you know?“

„ Oh yeah, I ran away from them all only to come to his concert and stalk him?“- I snorted and threw my phone on the table.-“ Are you almost done?“

„ Yes, you are now prepared for IL-2 but I have a few formalities that I have to go over. Is your name Otilia Althea Lapos?“- Angella asked. She's a nurse in New York's Cancer Treatment Center with possibly the biggest heart that you can find. She's extremely caring, she treats everyone with love and it's so easy to communicate with her. You never run out of things what to say. It's quite the opposite actually- it's hard to keep any secrets from her. That's why she knows everything about me.

„ Yes, I am.“

„ Did your doctor prescribed you three doses of IL-2 treatment per day for five days?“

„ Yes, she did.“

„ I have to read side effects to you one more time.“- Angella smiled sadly.-“ You may experience: fever and chills or flu-like symptom, generalized flushing (redness) of the face and body, or skin rash, nausea or vomiting, lowered blood pressure, diarrhea, low blood counts, changes in mental status (such as confusion, drowsiness or memory loss), fast heart beats, lowered urine output, changes in liver function, generalized aches and pains, swelling of the face, ankles or legs (edema or water retention)...“

It's weird how fast my life changed. One day I was just a happy girl, spending as much time as I can with Harry, also constantly spending my days with Anne and Gemma, FaceTiming with the boys and then... A simple blood test changed it all. I knew what was coming. I've seen my dad pass away from cancer, it was hard for him but even harder for me. I've been by his side through it all, I saw what the meds did to him, how his speaking became slower and slower and how he looked so... He looked bad. When I found out that I'm sick I ignored it for a few weeks, then one day I just packed my stuff and moved to NY. I left everyone notes with a lame excuse that I'm sick of living in Holmes Chapel and I just can't take it anymore. I said that I want to move and start over, somewhere where no one knows me because I'm tired of constantly being followed by fans or paparazzi. It was the hardest thing that I had to do. I don't even want to think how Harry and others reacted... Haz was not only my best friend but also the love of my life. I would never ever love anyone as much as I love him. He was my person ever since I met him when we were six years old. It broke me on another level having to cut him out of my life. I didn't wanted them to know and have all this trouble like I did. It's hard and tiring and so painful to watch so I just ran and saved them from all this trouble.

„ Althea? Are you still with me?- I was suddenly pulled out of my thoughts by a hand shaking me.

„ Of course I am and I already know the side effects, don't worry too much, you can already start my treatment. I know that I'll turn into a giant vegetable as my brains will start to shut down and you'll have to bathe me and take care of me till I die. Which is goint to be soon, only in a couple of months.“- I half joked half not. I saw her getting uncomfortable, I may have came on to strong.-“ Sorry Ange, it's the pills, they change my moods so quickly that sometimes I don't even realize how rude I just was.“

„ It's fine, I just don't want you to think that you'll pass away. When patients come here knowing that they will definately die they mostly do... But I've seen so many incredible cases.“- she said while putting the IL-2 into my port.-“ We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.“

The room was surrounded by comfortable silence while she did her job and I was lost in my head.

„ Okay.“

„Okay what?“- Angella stopped and said.

„ I'll try.“

Today is September 21 and today is the day when I promise I'll try to live.

Notes

Hello everyone,

Some of you will notice that I came back, because a few months ago I wrote about 7-8 chapters of a story, but the time was difficult so I took it down and now I will write it again. The story will be different but it will have some similarities to the previous one. Again on mistakes- I'm sorry for them but English is my second language so I will definitely make them. And please vote and write comments! :)

Hope you'll enjoy,
Otilia.