Cut To The Feeling

Wednesday was the worst day of the week.

It was one of the three days she volunteered at the shelter, the rest were Monday and Thursday. On Tuesday and Friday she had morning classes at the university, while on the
other three days she took evening classes.

Beth had started a little something two years ago in which children from kindergarten would come for a field trip. It wasn’t a bright idea to have a bunch of pre-schoolers surrounded by animals but the idea hit off almost immediately and every Wednesday once a month, the shelter would be surrounded by little kids who barely reached up to Rory’s thigh.

Rory loved kids, but not the ones who came on Wednesday. They were wild and evidence of the theory that man evolved from animals. The kids were uncontrolled, and the animals at the shelter also got wild. The teachers accompanying them would always wander off to somewhere and every other worker in the shelter would leave their work and run behind children hoping to God they didn’t hurt themselves.

No such incident of an animal hurting anyone had yet happened but the incident of cancelling invitation for field trips at the shelter sure did happen which got instantly shut down because Beth was of the view that the field trips provided a speedy track for the animals to get adopted.

Wednesday also sucked because she was paired with Harry to assist the people which had come. Ten children and a teacher arrived at the shelter ten minutes ago. Harry, after drinking the tea Rory made for herself, strolled away fifteen minutes ago and wasn’t back yet.
Rory was awkwardly leading the group of kindergartners, showing them the assortment of dogs they had. A small girl, Ava, had taken interest to Earl Grey.

“Does she run fast?”

Ava asked when Rory finished telling them how she broke her legs. She was running after a cat on the street and ended up getting hit by a car. Thankfully, only her legs were injured. She was brought to Beth after Dr. Travis plastered her legs. Lacey ended up giving her the name 'Earl Grey’ because she reminded her of the tea.

“She does.” It wasn’t Rory who answered the question. It couldn’t be Rory who answered the question because the voice was sure with confidence and Rory was never that confident about anything (except when she was throwing insults at Harry). It was the devil’s incarnate himself.

Ava had gone wide eyed upon seeing him, and the rest of the nine kids busied themselves with the litter of puppies which were brought in yesterday. Lacey had led them away while she was telling Ava about Earl Grey, saying, “Be easy with them, kids.”

Harry came closer to where Ava was standing next to Earl Grey’s cot. The Border collie was soundly asleep, with her legs hanging from the side of the cot. She looked much like an infant. Earl Grey reminded Rory of the first pet she got when she was around eight. It was a baby sparrow whose mother had made a nest atop the roof of their home back in Yorkshire. Albeit it wasn’t a real pet because the sparrows ended up flying like two days later and no one knew she had a pet but in those two days, she took care of the sparrow and gave it food and water daily.

Earl Grey shifted in the cot and moments later her eyelids opened to reveal black eyes. She took a moment before trying her best to sit up, but Harry went forward and adjusted her so she was directly staring at Ava and him.

“C'mon, love. Do you want to pat her?”

Ava nodded with such vigor you’d think someone had asked her to open her Christmas gift. Cautiously, she moved as Harry stepped backwards. Rory was standing to the side, and it felt like both Harry and Ava had forgotten her. She watched quietly as Ava softly patted Earl Grey on the forehead, the latter closing her eyes as she did so. Rory watched as a bright grin spread across Ava’s face and lightened up her whole features.

Rory could hear other kids’ voices, happy squeals mixed with laughter but she was focused on Harry and Ava. The former was being so soft Rory was sure she was seeing an entirely different person trapped inside his body. Harry was smiling like never before. Don’t get him wrong, he smiled plenty but his smiles always had an air of smugness and arrogance which always enveloped the genuineness of the action. His smiles never felt kind enough for Rory, but now even with his eyes away from her, she could feel the warmth in them. Maybe because his smiles weren’t directed at her that she now saw she was capable of being warm, like hot chocolate and blankets.

And Harry didn’t look like the evil orangutan she so heartily compared him with. He just looked like a regular orangutan who was capable of smiling and being nice to people (which didn’t include Rory).

Ava wasn’t done playing with Earl Grey, but Harry stood up nonetheless. Rory quickly composed herself; getting caught in the act of blatant staring by Harry wasn’t in her book as it would subject her to at least five years of jokes on her part.

Everything she did in front of Harry would end up giving Harry at least five years of jokes on her part.

She found Harry’s eyes to come rest on her, the look in them specifying he forgot she was still there (that was just the effect she had on everyone, no worry). But surprisingly their warmth didn’t vanish even though Harry had stopped smiling and now was blatantly staring.

“It’s rude to stare,” She mumbled offhandedly; she liked the attention, but not from Harry. It always ended in him making fun of her.

“Is what you said to yourself when you kept staring at me?”

Rory was caught off guard. “I didn’t!”

Someone had squeezed her neck and was now using a hammer to puncture her chest. She didn’t remember her heart beating with such vigor before.

“You didn’t say that to yourself or you didn’t stare?”

That was clever, really clever. Rory was now fully flustered under Harry’s intense gaze, and her airways were having asphyxiation. No sentence she was stringing in her was making any sense.

“I no stare. You a lie!”

What came out was low even for her. It was clear from Harry’s face that he was having the time of his life. A small grin broke on his face. He wasn’t mocking her.

“Really?”

Rory huffed, now noticing the environment around them silent. The kids have gone off to somewhere, and Ava was silently watching the two bicker back and forth. Her eyes were wide, but she was also smiling. She took a deep breath before calling for Ava.

“You bother me to no end, Styles. You really do. Now let’s get Ava reunited with her folks before they decide to leave without her.”

She turned around, without waiting for Harry or looking at his face, and started walking. Her airways were still blocked and her heart was still beating fast. But that didn’t matter.
It was the knots in her stomach that weren’t there before which worried her. Her stomach was in cramps, and it would take her more trips to the bathroom than she was wiling for to get rid of the pain.

.
.

The students were happy, the teachers were happy, and everyone else was also happy with Lacey (and on the borderline Harry and Rory). Beth was floating on a croissant because a teacher decided to adopt two puppies from the litter of seven for her kids.

But Rory wasn’t happy.

Instead of her spending time with Moby and looking after her, she now had small puppies that just pooped (all together) and now were whining. It wasn’t all, Harry was playing with Moby, and made sure his voice was heard all the way across the room where Rory was with the puppies, even though both of them were in Rory’s clear sight. So Harry knowing that there was no need for him to talk and laugh and even walk so loud was annoying Rory even more.

The puppies were two weeks old, and Rory feared for the moment Moby was going to have her own. Was it going to be exactly like this? Or were they going to be sensible enough to not pee or poop on anything they walk upon and have Rory clear up the mess?

It wasn’t that Rory didn’t like volunteering. She absolutely did. It was kind of like her thing (taking care of everyone) but now Harry made it hard for her to even enjoy doing that and made her hate every bit of it. He had been working at the shelter only for six months and there wasn’t any moment with him around during that period which Rory could recall with a happy heart.

“Hey Roro! Did you know Moby could—”

It had been like this for an hour. Harry would say something about Moby, some fact he’d just have discovered and Rory would roll her eyes and reply with, “Yes, I did know that, Harry.”

When sometimes it would be the first time hearing that Moby can shake hands and sit when you ask her to. Rory didn’t know who trained her, probably Beth, and it hurt her to know that Moby decided for Harry to be the first person to show her moves.

Lacey, Penny and Newt were huddled in a corner. Lacey had Earl Grey who was sleeping (again) and Penny and Newt had just gotten back from cleaning the mess the puppies had made in their cots.

“Are you free on Saturday, Rory?”

They were talking about going to the bar that had opened last week.

“The drinks will be on Newt.”

Newt’s uncle owned that bar, and Newt promised to provide free drinks. Rory contemplated her options, and narrowed it down to staying at home, eating junk food and trying to set the invitation on fire through her gaze or she could go to the bar, get drunk on free drinks and then forget whatever would happen next.

“Sure, I’m in.”

They cheered, and Rory allowed herself to feel happy, till Newt opened his garbage hole.

“Great! Harry will pick you up.”

Rory snapped her eyes towards Harry, who was busy watching Moby snore. “Okay.”

Maybe he hadn’t realized what was asked of him. Maybe he hadn’t heard properly what Newt said, for he couldn’t be as nonchalant as he was being right now.

“No, it’s f-fine. I’ll be okay by myself. It’d probably bother Harry.”

She shot Newt a look, which meant to back her up. But all three of them were looking at her, amused. And Newt’s eyebrows were doing a weird dance and it looked like something was in his eyes when he winked.

“Don’t be silly! It wouldn’t be a bother. Right, Harry?”

He still hadn’t looked up. “Right.”

Rory kept her mouth shut and instead chose to take the pups to their cots when their eyelids drooped. But picking up five pups at once was a problem.

“Here, let me help.”

Harry was behind her in a moment and towered over Rory as he took three sleeping puppies from her. Rory suffered from the same laryngeal asphyxiation and her stomach cramped once again. Harry smelled like lavender and his breath was minty. It wafted around Rory and enveloped her in. He was chewing bubblegum, probably mint, and Rory mentally slapped herself as her heart readied itself to beat out of her chest.

Harry started walking first, and Rory saw Newt’s eyebrows had still not stopped dancing. Even Penny and Lacey had joined him in the process. Rory didn’t know what the deal was with them, but she knew they were all in need of a lecture.

Rory quickened her pace, trying not to disturb the puppies in her arm. They hadn’t been named, and no one was feeling up to it because they knew they’d soon get adopted. Beth once told them not to name the puppies for it always got hard trying to see them getting adopted. But they each ended up naming Moby, Earl Grey, Franklin and Turner. But the adoption of Turner and Franklin brought them so much pain they decided to quit naming every animal which would be brought in.

Harry was standing by the pups’ cot, and Rory set the ones she was holding down.

“Have you got your mind back on track?”

This was what Rory meant with doing anything and getting mocked. “Huh?”

“So you haven’t. I forgot who I was asking.”

Rory was getting annoyed. She turned towards him harshly; voice reduced to a hush because she knew the three people in the next room had their ears trained in on them. “Why do you like to annoy me so much?”

Harry was feigning ignorance, eyes alight with mischief. “Me? Annoying you? Pssht! How stupid is that?”

Rory huffed. Explaining how stupid that really was would either end up in her crying out of anger (it had happened before) or bursting her vessel. She worried too much, became stressed out much too easily and surely took things to heart faster than they’d settle in her brain.

Rory took a deep breath, ignoring Harry and deciding to calmly exit the room.

She could hear Harry calling after her, “But at least let me have your number! How am I going to call you to ask your address for Saturday?”

Rory didn’t stop walking. “You’re not having my number, Styles. Ask Newt for my address. I think his eyebrows will be glad.”

//

Saturday came with a wind.

Just when Rory thought she had left cold weather and her allergies behind, they come surging through with Rory feeling worse for the wear. Her nose was stuffy and her eyes hurt whenever she tried to move them. Her throat was scratchy and she contemplated cancelling going out for one whole hour.

Before Lacey and Newt came barging through her door and demanded she took her anti-allergy pills. Lacey made her some weird looking solution type something to drink, and it helped a lot (she didn’t tell Lacey that).

November was around the corner, just two days left. Rory was getting anxious by the second. To say she was procrastinating was the best way to describe her delaying RSVP’ing the card. Half of her wanted to go, while half of her was doing everything in its might to forget she even had an invitation.

Guess which half was winning.

Rory was absolutely dreading the wedding, and was of the view that maybe some drinks would cheer her up. There were many people on her People To Avoid At All Costs list she knew would be invited. At the top was the bride herself, Lara, and her bridesmaids (Rory was sure those girls would have received the position since she was out of the picture) tailed the next three to four positions. Josh was somewhere along the tenth or so position. (Some people had pissed Rory more than him, surprisingly. Because what could possibly top your ex marrying your ex-best friend?)

What surprised her was that Harry was number seventh, even before than Josh. But ironically, she saw the most of the person she was supposed to avoid at all costs.

But it didn’t matter, for she wasn’t done getting ready and her hair was a bird’s nest due to the frizz and someone was ringing her doorbell like crazy.

Without wearing shoes, she walked the small distance from her room to the front door. The response for the person at the door came in the form of an eye roll and a huff.

“You’re-” she craned her neck to look at the clock in the living room, “-ten minutes early, Styles.”

Harry shrugged, lazily chewing gum and leaning his wait on the wall to his side. He looked cleaner, with arms folded over his chest. “I thought we could beat the traffic but if I knew you would be looking like Merida I would have thought otherwise.”

Rory rolled her eyes again. “Well, now that you have seen that I need more time; can you please go back to your car and wait? I’ll promise I’ll be back in te-”

“Whoah, whoah. Hold on a sec.” He quickly straightened up and Rory took a quick look at his attire. He’d changed out of his flamboyant shirts. Rory hated those, especially the flamingo one, and she was of the view he wore them especially to annoy her (even though she never voiced her distaste). He was wearing a black button down with skinny black jeans. Rory was insanely jealous of how his legs looked in them and - would you look at that? The same worn out boots were there.

“You’re not inviting me in?”

Rory scoffed, “You’re actually taking over Little Hope and I’d really like to keep my home a Styles-free zone.” She was about to close the door, but his foot stopped her.

“Uh-uh. Look, it took me twenty minutes trying to locate your house and I know you didn’t ask me to pick you up but please, I’ve digested whatever food I had even before leaving so now I’m hungry. I promise, I wouldn’t leave my mark here. I just wanna see where you live.”

Rory was somewhere lost in the rambling, “Has someone told you that you talk too much?”

Harry had gone silent, “I just…..I don’t talk much. I uh- I ramble whenever I uh- ooh- want someone to agree with me.” He flashed a full grin which showed all his teeth. If he were in tv, his teeth would have actually sparkled.

“Riight,” Rory was suspicious of his motives, as she was with everything involving him. One time, he brought a cup of tea for her which actually ended up being cement dissolved in actual tea. Rory hadn’t been able to trust him after that.

“Okay, Styles. I’ll let you in not because I trust you but because you’ve actually cost me important time and I can’t afford to waste more. So, c'mon in and don’t snoop around, don’t touch anything, and oh, don’t sit on anything which is actually for sitting.”

She left him standing at the door, not bothering to monitor him like she would have done if circumstances were different. It was the first time Harry had been to her home and while there were a thousand things that could go wrong with that, she didn’t have the time to worry about them, the worst case scenario with Harry burning down her whole house.

Rory hurried in her room and quickly grabbed the shoes she was going to wear, deciding to leave her hair the way it was. Rory’s hair was pretty short, and she loved how it looked. And she loved Merida more (she was a complete badass) and while she knew Harry was trying to make fun of how it looked, she left it with the frizz completely untamed. She was a completely independent woman who didn’t need any man.

(Although she’d like the attention).

The comb had somewhat helped her hair, but when she saw Harry by her kitchen counter and eating a slice of frozen pizza which was microwaved, she imagined her hair standing up like static current was passing through them.

“I told you not to touch anything!”

Harry was going through the papers she’d stacked on the counter, but didn’t look up from them. He mumbled, “Yeah, but you didn’t tell me I couldn’t eat anything.”
Rory huffed, “Because that was implied! Eating means touching things with your hands and bringing them to your mouth. How is -”

“-your hair isn’t like Merida anymore. I’m disappointed.”

The complete change of the subject made Rory angrier than she was before. But now she had completely mastered the act of staying absolutely emotionless around Harry. She couldn’t let him see he got to her too easily.

“Well, good. Then we should leave.”

“We should, but you should check your mail. The water and electricity bills are two days overdue. Your mother has sent a letter which was titled 'the hot bachelor’ and you have to RSVP to the wedding of some Josh and Lar-”

“YOU WENT THROUGH MY MAIL?!” There went her plan of completely remaining emotionless. “What part of 'Don’t touch anything’ did you not understand?”

She sky-rocketed all the way across the living room next to him, who was as laid back as usual. Her wild screech hadn’t affected him at all; it seemed like a normal thing for him (which was, probably.) She snatched the mail off the table, acting much like a madman, and stuffed them all in the drawer of the kitchen cabinet behind her.

“We’re already late, Styles. So I’d appreciate it if you actually did the thing you came here for, instead of snooping around.”

“But I was looking for your baby pictures.”

“And it’s not snooping?”

“Whatever,” he grumbled, “If we get stuck in traffic it’s all your fault.”

Rory didn’t get to complain because Harry was already walking in front of her. His butt moved like a female’s does when she’s being seductive. “Are you done checking my butt? I’d really like to get a move on.”

“I didn’t-”

“'I no stare. You a lie!’ Yeah yeah. Can we leave now?”

Rory could see his eyes brightly shining, it was weird. His evil grin was again plastered on his face. Rory sighed, deciding to reprimand him for later.

She still had a night to spend with him.
.

Notes