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Finding "Her" (Sequel to Forever Alone/Niall Horan Fanfic)

Chapter 9

Judith was adopted. No wonder why she felt so different. Is that why she gave Hayden up for adoption? Did she feel like she had to do the same thing, like her birth mother did for her? Why? Judith once told me that sometimes questions are left unanswered for a reason. But maybe what Judith did was right.

She wants Hayden to have a happy life and have two loving parents who can be there for her whenever she needs them. And to tell you the truth I don’t know if I am ready for this. I mean I can meet her. I can find her and tell her that I love her. I need to find her to see that she is okay. To see that she is happy. That all is well for her. I don’t want to have any more worries about her. I want this weight off my shoulders.

But I still couldn’t grasp that Judith was adopted. She kept hinting at something when she was alive but I never thought that. I mean she always told me she was different then Annabel and Mark but I never asked why. I just thought she was referring to her past but I never thought she would be talking about adoption. That thought never crossed my mind.

Maybe I needed a little help. Maybe I need someone to help me. I mean I have some money, I could use some of it to find her. This is important. Maybe I should find Judith’s birth mom too. Maybe she deserves to know about Judith and her story. Maybe I should tell her the Judith. But would Judith want that? Would she want me to find her? Would she want me to tell her secret? I don’t know. But everyone deserves the truth.

But I reminded myself, “Some secrets are better left untold.”

But maybe I need to tell the secret. I’m not Judith and I have no business telling her secrets. She wouldn’t want me to. She wouldn’t want me to spill the beans like that. I mean I wouldn’t believe anything that came out of somebody’s mouth, if they told me about my first born daughter. I would probably slap the person if they said that to mean. I wouldn’t believe them. Plus I don’t want to ruin her relationship with her husband. Judith says that he doesn’t know.

I sat in my hotel room staring at the letter. Her beautiful handwriting scattered all over the page. The way she dotted her I’s and curved her Y’s. I knew it was her writing. I mean I don’t know how old these letters are and I don’t want to. She must’ve been pretty good to be able to write these letters. And there are more supposedly. I really hope they come soon.

Liam came into the room and sat down next to me. I grabbed the letter and shoved it into my pocket. He doesn’t deserve to read this letter even though he knows what is going on. I mean I guess I can tell him. He is in fact one of my best mates. I can tell him anything.

“So what did the letter say?” he asked

“Judith told me that she doesn’t want me to raise Hayden,” I spoke.

“WHAT!” he shouted, “She’s your daughter!”

“She thinks that she will be happier with the adoptive parents. She told me that there is reason why she gave her to them but she won’t tell me,” I answered.

“So she wrote you a long letter to tell you that?” he asked

“No Liam. She told me a story about her. And I think that is a reason behind her giving up Hayden,” I replied.

“What kind of story?” he asked

Does he really deserve to know? Then again I already told him that she wanted me to give up Hayden. Maybe her being adopted was the reason. Maybe she thinks they will do a better job than I could ever do. Maybe she is right.

“She was adopted,” I answered.

“Judith?” he asked

I shook my head, “Yes, Judith.”

“How does she know?” Liam asked

“Her mom told her when she was younger. Judith actually came to London in search of her birth mother,” I spoke.

“Did she find her?” he asked

“Yes, but she didn’t tell her. Judith said that she didn’t want to ruin her birth mother’s perfect life,” the word perfect stung my tongue.

If your biological daughter came to find you would you want to know? Would you welcome her with open arms and just love her unconditionally? Would you try to make up for lost time? I know I would. I would want to know how my biological daughter was doing. She wouldn’t be ruining my perfect life she would be enhancing it. Finding out that you have someone else out there who cares about you is probably a wonderful thing. It means that they took the time to find you rather not caring for you at all. They were thinking about you and that means that they care about you even though you gave them up.

“Wow,” Liam looked stunned.

“Yeah, but I wish she would’ve told her. I wish she got the chance to know Judith,” I responded.

“But Judith didn’t want her to know right?” Liam asked

“Yes,” I responded.

“They you should respect her wishes. Judith wasn’t one for opening up to people. She rather watch everyone from afar. Maybe she was scared that her birth mom wouldn’t accept her. I mean after twenty or so odd years your baby who you gave up at birth was grown up telling you these things about them that you never thought imaginable. Lets face it, Judith didn’t have a glorious life. She told me that the best part of her life was meeting you. Other than that she said her life was pretty crappy. I don’t blame her do you remember what she told us about?” he asked

Yes, Judith had a lot of trouble going on in her life and maybe she thought that her birth mom would never accept who she was. I mean I did but that’s because you must love people for everything they are worth. Good or bad you must love them because you just have to. I really don’t know how to explain it. I really don’t. But maybe Liam had a point. Maybe Judith was scared to tell her birth mom because she was afraid of being rejected by her. Judith rarely tells anybody anything. I think the only person who knows just as much as Judith did is Bridgette and Judith probably hasn’t told her everything. I mean Judith was something else but a good something else. She was a gift.

“Yeah you’re right mate,” I answered.

“So did Judith say anything else about the adoptive parents?” Liam asked

“Nope, just that when the time comes she will tell me more,” I replied.

“Anything else?” he asked

“Yeah, she wants me to get help,” I answered.

“What kind of help?” he questioned

“A private eye kind of help,” I looked down at my hands.

“Yeah that sounds like a reasonable idea. They can look for Hayden while we are touring,” Liam spoke.

“All I know is,” I paused, “She is somewhere in England. I don’t know where but she is in here. I got to find her.”

“We’ll find her,” Liam placed his hand on my shoulder.

“I sure hope so,” I responded.

I sat with Liam focusing our minds on blowing up our enemies on the television screen. I haven’t played any sort of video game since Judith passed away. I have been so occupied with finding Hayden that I forgot what it was like to have fun. In the end Liam completed seven missions out of ten when we realized that we should search for a private eye.

“What kind of private eye are we looking for?” Liam asked looking at his computer screen.

“A good one,” I remarked.

Liam laughed, “I’m pretty sure there are a bunch of them out there.”

We spent hours searching. I was so glad to have a mate like Liam. He was probably one of the only few people I could trust and he cared about finding Hayden just as much as I was. He knew how much this meant to me. I mean all the boys know how much this means to me. They know that finding her would make me so happy. I mean they want to see me happy again. They want the old Niall back. I mean was he ever lost?

I mean I have been kind of distant since Judith has been gone but I wouldn’t say that I was lost or something. I mean I am sad that she is gone but I don’t think I have changed that much. Then again I isolated myself from the world for months after she passed. I mean I did change. I didn’t want anyone to see me but I feel as if I am getting better.

“I found one!” Liam shouted

“What’s the number?” I asked

Liam handed me his computer and I dug my phone out of my pocket. It was late in the afternoon and the private investigator’s office was probably closing soon so I had to hurry up. He was probably some old guy who has spent most of his life searching for kidnapped spies or something. How was I going to start this conversation? I had a short time to think because after the second ring someone picked up.

“Hello Jones PI Services. How may I help you?” a soft feminine voice cooed into the phone

“Hi…I uhhhh don’t know how to word this,” I spoke.

“You need a private investigator?” she asked

“Yeah,” I answered.

“For what if you don’t mind me asking?” she asked

“I need to find my daughter,” I answered.

“Was she kidnapped because that is a job for the police,” she answered.

“No, she was adopted and I want to meet her,” I answered.

“Oh okay. If it is okay you will have to come meet with Mr. Jones probably tomorrow morning to discuss any plans,” she answered.

“Oh okay sounds good,” I answered.

“So may I take your name sir?” she questioned

“Niall…uhhh…Niall Horan,” I responded.

“Okay Mr. Horan nine o’clock sound good?” she asked

“Yes, sounds great!” I cooed.

“Mr. Jones will see you at nine tomorrow morning,” she answered.

“Thank you,” I responded.

“You’re welcome and have a nice day,” she hung up the phone.

Liam stared at me as I looked up at him after I hung up my phone. He must have been worried about the phone conversation that I had just had. I mean I should bring him. I should let him be a part of this. I know Bridgette can’t make it because she is probably going to be busy with Harry. She deserves to have some fun. Liam will go with me, I’m sure of it.

“Liam, do you want to come with me tomorrow?” I asked him

“For you Niall, I will do anything,” he wrapped his arm around my shoulder, “You’re my best mate why wouldn’t I help you find your daughter. Plus you can’t go see Mr. Jones by yourself now can you?”

“I guess not,” I smiled at him.

“Let’s go get something to eat,” Liam got up off the couch.

Today was turning out to be a great day. I mean I may not have found Hayden yet but I know I’m going to be one step closer. I’m going to be getting even more help than I thought I would. Hayden, daddy will be there soon just be patient. I hope everything goes well tomorrow because I need this private investigator to help me find her. He is my last and only hope to finding Hayden. My fingers are crossed. I think everyone’s fingers are crossed.

++++
Are your fingers crossed?? Hey Cupcakes how is everything? Are you guys enjoying this story just as much as I am! I really enjoy writing this. The next chapter will probably be about the meeting with the PI (Private Investigator). So how is everyone doing. If you wanna chat on lets say twitter you can follow me @mistknbacon. Yeah quirky name I know! Tell me about it. So look out for the next chapter. Be back later cupcakes!! – Becky xx

Comments

@NiallersGirl_15
I will update soon darlin'. :)
nice chapter*thumbs up*please update soon!xxx
InNiall'sPants InNiall'sPants
7/17/13

@fornow-andforever

Trust me I wil :) xxx
InNiall'sPants InNiall'sPants
7/14/13
@NiallersGirl_15
Will do cupcake!! I will write the next chapter soon. I need to find time in between work and such. So keep your eyes peeled for more xx

I'm glad the boys are on board and I hope they find "her"...loved the chapter,please update soon!xxx

InNiall'sPants InNiall'sPants
7/14/13