Story Reviews

Hey Guys!

So, @brianna.smith has asked me to review her story, Beating Heart, that she co-authors using one account with @lovefornarry_jlw.

Summary:
The summary doesn’t give away much about plot of the story, which anyone who has been reading my reviews will know I think is usually a positive. I always think that it allows authors to generate new ideas as they go and improve their story without straying from the plot that they have committed to in the summary. The language that the authors use in the summary is heavily embellished with imagery and descriptive prose which is a good indicator for the way that the entire story is written. I like that they have included a playlist in the summary – I love when authors do this as I am one of those people who listens to music when I write and when I read, when a playlist is included, it saves me looking for songs that fit the story.

Characters:
I am always impressed when I read a co-authored story and I can’t tell if the character has been written by one or the other, so that is my first positive with this story. There are a lot of characters in this story, but there is a distinct voice and way that each of them are that is maintained throughout which is good. However, I will say that I think the development of the characters is slow and sometimes I didn’t feel as though it made much sense. For example, I never really understood whether Perrie liked Julianne or not because she was so hot and cold, but not in that ‘just a passionate person’ kind of way. I like the way that you incorporate every character regularly though – most writers struggle to do that well.

Plot:
Like the character development, I will say that the plot took a while to get moving and it seemed like the author was kind of lost and wasn’t sure where to take it for a while. That being said, fantasy stories don’t seem that common on fanfic sites, so it’s pretty different and really taps into a genre that’s pretty lacking on here. The story is written in a way that means you don’t actually find out what’s going on until the writer wants you to, which is always good – you want a story that makes you guess but isn’t too obvious and has a lot of plot twists.

Layout and Grammar:
The layout is perfect – I didn’t come across any paragraphs that were so long that it became confusing and as far as I remember it was pretty consistent.
Spelling on the other hand was a little bit of an issue. There are apologies at the bottom of most chapters excluding spelling mistakes so I won’t go on about it, but I would definitely say that the authors need to go back over their writing and correct any mistakes at some point, since in some areas it does impact the flow of the story and makes it a little hard to read.
Grammar in the story seemed okay on the whole – I will say that I noticed some sentences that need rereading and rephrasing for a smoother flow, but that was about it.
I want to also add that the way that you write can sometimes be a little hard to read because it’s so decorative. I think this story sometimes falls victim to everything being so well described that it gets a little hard to imagine and still understand what’s happening in the story – I feel like this has come from a fear of repetition or being too simple in your writing, but I would say that being direct with what you want to say isn’t always something to be shied away from.

Final Rating and Comments

Final Rating: 7/10
Will I be subscribing: Yes – I need to know how it all ends.
Would I recommend this story to someone else: If you are a fast reader like me, I will point out that this story can get confusing at times and you will have to reread paragraphs to understand what’s going on, but if you’re looking for a One Direction fantasy story with an interesting plot, some fun twists and don’t mind putting in a little extra effort to read the story then yes! This is the story for you! You can find it by clicking here!

Thanks for asking me to read and review your story!

Lola xo

Notes