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Story Reviews

Denude

Hey Guys!

This is my review of Denude by @PerciaxXXx

Summary:
Unlike the traditional route that people tend to take on this site: using the summary to give a brief rundown of their story that makes you want to read it, Denude instead has a small snippet of the story. I have a love/hate relationship with this kind of summary for two reasons. I love them because if you read it and the writing flows in a way that makes you want to read more, you pretty much instantly know whether the story is for you or not which is great. On the other hand however, it commits authors to sticking to their original ideas and commits you to writing one story when every story has a million different directions that it could go. That little comment out of the way though, the snippet in itself is well written with just the right balance between progression of the scene and description of imagery. Initially I thought that there were some mistakes when it came to the tense of the snippet, after re-reading however, I see that a couple of the sentences are just phrased awkwardly (feel free to message me if you go to change them and aren’t sure which ones I am talking about, or by all means leave them as they are, my opinion means no more than anyone else’s.) So after all that, I’d say we’re off to a pretty good start with this one!

Characters:
I’d like to start by saying that I think it’s great to get a little diversity in characters that are presented on this site – I am not oblivious to the fact that 99% of the characters created as love interests or even just for friendships are white, so to have African American characters in this story is great. So far, there hasn’t been much character development outside a little bit of background and introduction, so I can’t say much on the women.
Triplets are an interesting idea for the story and hasn’t been done before on this site so I was intrigued with how you would pull this off. I have a complaint that I don’t like that they have each other’s names as middle names but that’s just another opinion. I like that they are already shaping up to be very different characters which I don’t imagine to be an easy task when you are writing for the same face. I am interested to see where you take the relationships between them and how they all interact with one another as you progress into the story.

Plot:
So far, there hasn’t been too much plot for me to make a judgement on. From what I have gathered there is quite a political charge behind your writing which is interesting for a fanfic and not something that you see very often. Most people try and stay away from political and social issues when writing about Harry Styles and One Direction, so it adds to the originality of your writing.

Overall Comments:
Your story seems like it is on the right track to be something great. I think the deeper into this story that you get the better it will be.

Final Rating and Comments

Final Rating: 7.5/10
Will I be subscribing: It’s not my kind of story, however, I have subscribed as a show of support for what I know will be a great story for those who are interested in that kind of thing.
Would I recommend this story to someone else: If you have come here to lose yourself in a fantasy world where real world issues are not a thing, then no, this story is not for you, as it does seem to be leading down a path that will bring to light the reality of some lives. I think if you want to read a story that will make you consider yourself, the lives around you and the world you live in, then this may be what you are looking for. If you’re not sure, then you should give it a go since there are three Harrys, and that is never a bad thing! If you would like to give it a go, then you can find the story by clicking here!


Thanks for asking me to read and review your story!

Lola xo

Notes

Comments

Title: Deviprya
Author: JasperRenee
Amount of Chapters: 4
Subject (5SOS or 1D): 1D
Content Rating: R
Link: Deviprya
JasperRenee JasperRenee
3/8/19

@Prinny1321
Of course!

JasperRenee JasperRenee
10/8/18

@JasperRenee
Thank you for saying that

Prinny1321 Prinny1321
10/7/18

@Jessicaanderson
I don't think anyone copied anyone, their both quite talented at what they do. They are also both very involved in the website, and I don't think you should be so rude.

JasperRenee JasperRenee
10/7/18

@Jessicaanderson
Can you point out what you think I've copied please?

Prinny1321 Prinny1321
10/7/18