Story Reviews

Summary:
It's good, I have no complaints. I like the kind of summary that really spells out for me what I should be expecting from the story, which this one does. Since this is essentially the equivalent to a blurb, it has to catch someone’s attention, tell them just enough to make them interested in the possible plot and then pull them in. This summary does this nicely and is short, sweet, simple and most importantly effective. The character list is helpful since there is no mention of which boy will be the focus of the story in the summary and not everyone wants to read stories that aren’t centred around their favourites, so another thumbs up from me.

Characters:
I love how you use the first chapter to introduce background to the story, it’s interesting, well executed and an effective way to keep people reading. I love that you build your characters up slowly and you don’t rush into it like some people do. Zoe is a thoroughly likeable character which is a good thing but at times I felt like I was reading two different people. Sometimes she comes across as quite independent, fierce and like a girl who knows what she wants, and other times she just comes across a little soft and cutesy which I didn't like as much. I think there is a lot of character development in the story which is good. I like the way that Niall is written to an extent but I think that is a cultural difference - I live in Liverpool and guys on this side of the Atlantic don't tend to be as sweet and cutesy, so at times it was just a little unbelievable for me - that being said he is still a nice character, just not for me, and I didn't fall for him the way I like to when I read these stories.

Plot:
I really enjoyed this story, it's very classic romantic fanfic but there is nothing wrong with that - classic is classic for a reason, it's good. It was structured well and the plot really flowed smoothly. I won't lie and say that it wasn't a little predictable at times, but I think that's the case with most stories and it definitely didn't stop me from enjoying it and the ending had a little twist which leads on nicely to the sequel.

Layout & Grammar:
Grammar and spelling wise, there are a couple of mistakes here and there but nothing so major that it obstructs the flow of the story. In a few places there are a few typos (sat instead of say) or missing words (… but it was far [from] an awkward one), however I did notice that in the summary you have said that you are still editing the story and this stuff is so easily fixed. I have a slight issue that for me, some of the speech seems unnatural, but that’s a pet peeve of mine that I know most people don’t notice unless it’s horrendously out there (which yours is not!) so I don’t have any major complaints. It is most definitely not one of those stories where the grammar trips up the rest of the story. The layout isn’t always consistent in my opinion, I think if you’re going to double space then it should be at the beginning of every paragraph, even if there is a lot of speech and it looks ‘gappy’ (for lack of a better term) or you should stick to single spacing all the time.

Final Rating and Comments

Final Rating: 7.5/10
Will I be subscribing: This story is completed but I have subscribed to show that I liked it!
Would I recommend this story to someone else: I think that it depends what you're looking for. If you are looking for a Niall based story with a lot of feel good moments and is just a classic romance story, then yes. If you are looking for something with a bit more of an edge, then I don't think this is the one for you. If you feel like checking out this story then you can do so by clicking here and following the link!

Thanks for asking me to read and review your story! I'm sorry it took so long - I have been busy and I didn't want to rush the review and not give it the attention it deserved.

Lola xo

Notes