Story Reviews

Hey guys!

So Nialls_Girl1 asked me to review their co-authored story Bullies to Kidnappers so, here it is :)

Summary:
The summary is well written, which I'd like to give props for since sometimes it's hard to write a summary for a story that isn't written yet. It's gripping, leaves you with questions, and it really does make you want to read more (as clichéd as that may sound). I had high hopes for the story once I had read that.

Characters:
Character development and consistency, when you have more than one author, can be a little difficult because there is no guarantee that everyone will view a character the same. This is definitely not an issue I found with this story though. By introducing them in the memory as freshmen and then reintroducing them as seniors in the present day, it starts character development off well, and I didn't feel as though I was reading about different characters depending on who was writing which can sometimes be the case.

Grammar and Layout:
The layout for the most part was good. Speech was clearly marked and there was never any doubt in my mind who was speaking, which is sometimes an issue that people have on this site. There were a couple of minor misspells (nothing so bad that readers can't work out what you meant to say) and some of the sentences don't always flow as they should, but these are minor issues that are easily solved by a quick re-read before posting.

Plot:
The plot of the story flows fairly smoothly which again I think can sometimes be difficult when you have more than one author, so this is a big plus for me. I like the way there is a bit of a build up to what's happening, rather than just jumping straight into it. I am eager to read more and find out what happens.

Overall comment:
I like the idea for this story, I think that it is creative and there are a lot of places that you can take this to make it an amazing story. I'm not a massive fan of lengthy descriptions of characters in the text as it takes me out of the story and stops me from being able to imagine myself as the character, but that is just a personal grievance of mine. That being said though, I love the use of descriptive language that really helps to set the scene for readers and helps to really get people feeling as though they are a part of the story.

Final Rating and Comments

Final Rating: 8/10
Will I be subscribing?: Yes! This is totally a story that I would want to continue reading so I hope it will be updated soon!
Would I recommend the story to someone else: If you are looking for a One Direction story that is a little different from your average boy meets girl and you want a bit of a thrill, maybe you should stroll on over! You can do so by clicking here!

Thanks for asking me to read and review your story!

Lola xo

Notes