Never Let You Go
Chapter 5
Present
The bitterly cold air whipped at her face as she wrapped her arms even tighter around her midriff; regretting not opting for her winter coat earlier. However, Emilia had not expected to be wondering around outside at night, tears falling thick and fast, her breath hitching up in her throat- the sound of her harsh breathing fighting with the strong winds of late November weather. It must have been around ten pm but she had barely thought about the time, lost in thoughts of what had just happened- how this evening had gone from being routinely normal to a never ending disaster. How he had returned, how he had the audacity to approach her and think that everything was going to be anything but bad. She needed to end these thoughts, because when she felt as if the crying had ceased; her mind would be corrupted once more with his voice... "Mi"... corrupted with the image of this grown, handsome man with bright eyes- Harry but different- and the tears would resurface once more.
A bright light suddenly came into contact with Emilia, momentarily blinding her gaze as the sound of car wheels rolling across the gravel-ridden ground edged closer to her.
"Emilia!" The familiar voice of her mother called as the car engine ceased. The figure emerged from the car, a worried expression depicted across her face as she scurried over to the broken girl, scooping her up in her concerned arms.
"My gosh, you're freezing!" Her mother exclaimed. "You'll catch your death out here."
The contrast between the bitterly cold temperature of the open air and the warmth of her mother's car hit Emilia hard and she shivered tremendously as she buckled her seat belt into place- still whimpering slightly. Although her mum knew everything, she always felt embarrassed about being emotional in front of her no matter how close they were. It was easier to unleash all emotions to Lily and maybe this was because Lily hadn't experienced most of the trauma where as Emilia's mum had.
"How did you find me?" Emilia croaked, keeping her focus on the open road. The newly formed raindrops and trees becoming one great blur as the car drove along the darkened country lanes.
"I always know where you're heading when you're this upset." Her mother responded, quickly taking her hand off the gear stick to squeeze her daughter's hand.
There was a place Emilia always visited when she was upset. She had been upset for the most part of five years but when she truly felt her lowest; there was only one place that felt right. The graveyard. With the events of what Harry had done to her coinciding with the death of her father, Emilia always felt she needed to be close to him, feel his presence, when she believed nothing else could fix her. She knew it wouldn't fix anything, knew it wouldn't bring her father back but if it numbed her saddened emotions for a short period, it was the best medicine.
"I didn't realise," Emilia gulped.
"Of course I know, Em. He will always be the best comfort."
Emilia looked to her mum; watched as a tear rolled down her face and in that moment she couldn't help but feel guilty. She often forgot that her mum was also heartbroken, her mum also had this huge emptiness inside, forgot that she wasn't the only one who had lost the most important thing to her. Even though Emilia had lost two important entities that night, she still felt guilty for forgetting that her mum had also lost someone.
"... and then after Lily had rang me a bunch of times and told me what had happened, it was obvious."
Emilia had missed most of what her mum had said; lost in thoughts of anguish.
"I could kill him!" Her mum continued, her hands gripping tighter around the steering wheel, a possible euphemism for how her hands would look around Harry's neck if she got hold of him. "And Anne! Although, I can't really blame her; she knows exactly what I'd have been like if I had wind he was home..."
Emilia cut her mum off at that point. She was exhausted; both physically and emotionally. All she wanted to do was close her eyes and never open them again.
2011
Harry's POV
I sat on the arm of Louis' couch, finger tips fiddling with either side of the cleared piece of paper- a skin- as I began to roll the substance up, bringing the roll to my lips before licking the piece of paper, securing the substance together to form the joint. I gestured to Louis to pass me his lighter before igniting the smoke and taking a long drag. Closing my eyes at the pleasure I felt when the smokey air hit the back of my throat.
I was sat in Louis' shed, the room filled with contaminated air as we both laid sprawled- stoned out of our minds. We had been waiting for Niall to return with cans of beer.
"He needs to hurry the fuck up so we can here about this date." Louis spoke as I passed him the half smoked joint.
I cringed at the word 'date'. I didn't actually want to take the girl out, only I didn't back out of obligations; especially not from ones Louis made. We had been friends for years and sort of in competition with each other, particularly when it came down to girls and sex. Who could bone the most, the quickest and the best!
"Hardly a date." I barked, snatching the joint out of his outstretched hand.
"Alright don't get your knickers in a twist. You can say you like her y'know. Only that means technically you lose." He gave me a cunning grin but before I could answer, the shed door swung open to reveal Niall carrying two plastic bags full of cans.
"About time you pisstaker!" Louis exclaimed as Niall threw him a can before he took a seat next to me. I passed him the joint in exchange for a beer, hoping Niall would begin by talking about something that was completely irrelevant seeing as we usually couldn't shut him up. He was a talker but in this moment, he appeared to be lost for words- waiting for me to recall what had happened between Mi and I.
"Nothing went on," I spoke, breaking the silence and the cunning despair off their faces.
"So you didn't bone her then, points lost!" Louis chimed, earning a solid high five off Niall.
"I don't bone on the first date," I growled, frowning darkly back at him.
"Thought it weren't a date."
"Oh fuck off!"
"Now, now, calm down boys!" Niall interjected just in time to stop me from getting up and punching Louis in the face.
Usually when it came down to talking about girls, I was so open but with her it was different. She was different. She had surprised me on our date. She weren't forward like the rest of them. She didn't throw herself all over me, instead she was distant. She was anxious around me and that intrigued me. I had known her forever really but my impression of her had been the opposite of how she truly was. I expected her to be just another girl, immature, but she was sophisticated, mature and shy. She had me thinking about her at times when I shouldn't. It was supposed to be a quick in and out situation with her but instead I found myself wanting to see her again. Obviously I wasn't going to tell Louis this because I wasn't a loser. I didn't lose bets.
"I'll take her out again. I'll do it. Just give me a bit more time." I said convincingly, eyeing up Louis from the other side of the shed- unsure of what I was about to get myself into.
The bitterly cold air whipped at her face as she wrapped her arms even tighter around her midriff; regretting not opting for her winter coat earlier. However, Emilia had not expected to be wondering around outside at night, tears falling thick and fast, her breath hitching up in her throat- the sound of her harsh breathing fighting with the strong winds of late November weather. It must have been around ten pm but she had barely thought about the time, lost in thoughts of what had just happened- how this evening had gone from being routinely normal to a never ending disaster. How he had returned, how he had the audacity to approach her and think that everything was going to be anything but bad. She needed to end these thoughts, because when she felt as if the crying had ceased; her mind would be corrupted once more with his voice... "Mi"... corrupted with the image of this grown, handsome man with bright eyes- Harry but different- and the tears would resurface once more.
A bright light suddenly came into contact with Emilia, momentarily blinding her gaze as the sound of car wheels rolling across the gravel-ridden ground edged closer to her.
"Emilia!" The familiar voice of her mother called as the car engine ceased. The figure emerged from the car, a worried expression depicted across her face as she scurried over to the broken girl, scooping her up in her concerned arms.
"My gosh, you're freezing!" Her mother exclaimed. "You'll catch your death out here."
The contrast between the bitterly cold temperature of the open air and the warmth of her mother's car hit Emilia hard and she shivered tremendously as she buckled her seat belt into place- still whimpering slightly. Although her mum knew everything, she always felt embarrassed about being emotional in front of her no matter how close they were. It was easier to unleash all emotions to Lily and maybe this was because Lily hadn't experienced most of the trauma where as Emilia's mum had.
"How did you find me?" Emilia croaked, keeping her focus on the open road. The newly formed raindrops and trees becoming one great blur as the car drove along the darkened country lanes.
"I always know where you're heading when you're this upset." Her mother responded, quickly taking her hand off the gear stick to squeeze her daughter's hand.
There was a place Emilia always visited when she was upset. She had been upset for the most part of five years but when she truly felt her lowest; there was only one place that felt right. The graveyard. With the events of what Harry had done to her coinciding with the death of her father, Emilia always felt she needed to be close to him, feel his presence, when she believed nothing else could fix her. She knew it wouldn't fix anything, knew it wouldn't bring her father back but if it numbed her saddened emotions for a short period, it was the best medicine.
"I didn't realise," Emilia gulped.
"Of course I know, Em. He will always be the best comfort."
Emilia looked to her mum; watched as a tear rolled down her face and in that moment she couldn't help but feel guilty. She often forgot that her mum was also heartbroken, her mum also had this huge emptiness inside, forgot that she wasn't the only one who had lost the most important thing to her. Even though Emilia had lost two important entities that night, she still felt guilty for forgetting that her mum had also lost someone.
"... and then after Lily had rang me a bunch of times and told me what had happened, it was obvious."
Emilia had missed most of what her mum had said; lost in thoughts of anguish.
"I could kill him!" Her mum continued, her hands gripping tighter around the steering wheel, a possible euphemism for how her hands would look around Harry's neck if she got hold of him. "And Anne! Although, I can't really blame her; she knows exactly what I'd have been like if I had wind he was home..."
Emilia cut her mum off at that point. She was exhausted; both physically and emotionally. All she wanted to do was close her eyes and never open them again.
2011
Harry's POV
I sat on the arm of Louis' couch, finger tips fiddling with either side of the cleared piece of paper- a skin- as I began to roll the substance up, bringing the roll to my lips before licking the piece of paper, securing the substance together to form the joint. I gestured to Louis to pass me his lighter before igniting the smoke and taking a long drag. Closing my eyes at the pleasure I felt when the smokey air hit the back of my throat.
I was sat in Louis' shed, the room filled with contaminated air as we both laid sprawled- stoned out of our minds. We had been waiting for Niall to return with cans of beer.
"He needs to hurry the fuck up so we can here about this date." Louis spoke as I passed him the half smoked joint.
I cringed at the word 'date'. I didn't actually want to take the girl out, only I didn't back out of obligations; especially not from ones Louis made. We had been friends for years and sort of in competition with each other, particularly when it came down to girls and sex. Who could bone the most, the quickest and the best!
"Hardly a date." I barked, snatching the joint out of his outstretched hand.
"Alright don't get your knickers in a twist. You can say you like her y'know. Only that means technically you lose." He gave me a cunning grin but before I could answer, the shed door swung open to reveal Niall carrying two plastic bags full of cans.
"About time you pisstaker!" Louis exclaimed as Niall threw him a can before he took a seat next to me. I passed him the joint in exchange for a beer, hoping Niall would begin by talking about something that was completely irrelevant seeing as we usually couldn't shut him up. He was a talker but in this moment, he appeared to be lost for words- waiting for me to recall what had happened between Mi and I.
"Nothing went on," I spoke, breaking the silence and the cunning despair off their faces.
"So you didn't bone her then, points lost!" Louis chimed, earning a solid high five off Niall.
"I don't bone on the first date," I growled, frowning darkly back at him.
"Thought it weren't a date."
"Oh fuck off!"
"Now, now, calm down boys!" Niall interjected just in time to stop me from getting up and punching Louis in the face.
Usually when it came down to talking about girls, I was so open but with her it was different. She was different. She had surprised me on our date. She weren't forward like the rest of them. She didn't throw herself all over me, instead she was distant. She was anxious around me and that intrigued me. I had known her forever really but my impression of her had been the opposite of how she truly was. I expected her to be just another girl, immature, but she was sophisticated, mature and shy. She had me thinking about her at times when I shouldn't. It was supposed to be a quick in and out situation with her but instead I found myself wanting to see her again. Obviously I wasn't going to tell Louis this because I wasn't a loser. I didn't lose bets.
"I'll take her out again. I'll do it. Just give me a bit more time." I said convincingly, eyeing up Louis from the other side of the shed- unsure of what I was about to get myself into.
BE WARNED, ONLY CHECK OUT // DENUDE // MY FIRST ONE I TERRIBLE!
8/16/18