Sometimes i wish it could all just go back, back to when things were simpler for me… simpler for what used to be my family. My name is Emily Trundle and I am now 17 years old. 9 months ago my mum and I were driving along late at night when we got hit by a drink driver. I made it out alive, barely a scratch on me, but i cannot say the same for my beautiful mother. She sadly passed away and ever since my dad has taken it out on me, he sees it as my fault. He was never a loving father, Even when my mum was alive he wouldn't really pay much attention to me at all and I was completely okay with that because I had my mum. Oh how i miss her.

I live in Winchester, England but next week I'm moving to Leeds, which is a 4 hour drive from my home. I’m not really a big talker at school and I don't have any real friends so the move is a relief if anything, a fresh start. I don’t know why we’re moving, my dad wont tell me. To be honest i don’t think he really has a reason. Winchester just isn't the place for him anymore… too many memories, too many enemies.

The week leading up to our move flew by. I avoided my dad at all costs so basically i just stayed in my room and packed my small amount of belongings into 3 boxes and a suitcase. I carefully studied all of the objects I owned, each one brings back another memory. The last item i need to pack is my teddy bear, the same teddy bear my mum had bought me on my 7th birthday when i was sick, so my party got cancelled. We stayed up late into the night coming up with names for this little bear. We decided on Hunter, it sounds lame now but it’s one of my favourite memories.

I’m snapped from my thoughts when i hear my father yell, or rather slur “EMILY, GET TO THE CAR. WE ARE LEAVING RIGHT NOW!”
I sigh, he’s picked up a bit of a drinking habit over the last couple of months to deal with my mothers death which was caused by the exact same substance. Doesn't make sense if you ask me. I grab my last box with Hunter sitting on top and look back at my now plain, empty room.
“goodbye.” I whisper and close the door. A tear slips from my eye but i’m quick to wipe it on my sleeve and run to the car. I place the box in the boot but keep hunter with me.
“dad i think i should drive, you’ve been drinking” i say quietly but firmly as i see him struggling to put the key in the ignition.
“Ah, fuck off! stupid little slag” he mutters the last part too himself but I hear him. The next thing i know he jumps out of the car and grabs a bottle of whisky from under the seat. Im quick to jump in the seat underneath him before he can sit back down. He attempts to pull me back out but I buckle myself in and eventually he just accepts the fact he’s too drunk to do anything. I’m sure I’ll pay for that later but I'm not keen on dying today.

The drive consisted of mainly silence, I tried turning the radio on every few minutes but he turns it back off again. I tried one more time, and he snaps. “EMILY WILL YOU JUST CUT IT OUT, I HAVE A HEAD ACHE AND LOOKING AT YOU AND LISTENING TO YOUR TERRIBLE MUSIC IS MAKING IT WORSE. JUST LET ME SLEEP! i cant wait till you go back to school…”He slowly dozes out of consciousness as he gets the last part of the sentence out. His words hurt me but at least now I’m free to put the music on. My mind drifts off and I begin to think about school. I forgot I have to start at a new school on Monday. crap.

As i get closer to Leeds I start to feel nervous, my father had managed to write down the address of our new house before we left so I felt no need to wake him up, I know all he would do is yell. I type the address into my phone and drive the 10 more minutes it takes to get to our new house. When i pull up I notice its quite a downgrade from our house in winchester, that could be another reason we moved and he's to much of a ‘man’ to admit it, we’re broke. There’s a broken white fence across the front lawn and in the middle is a small gate, the bricks on the path leading up to the white rendered house are all pulled up and crooked. There are dead plants around the red front door. The street we’re on seems nice and quite, thats a positive, There is a big tree at the back of our house that I can see from the car out the front. I grab the house key from my dads lap and get out of the car, the fresh air is a nice change of scent from the smell of whisky and body odour coming off of my passenger. I grab my suitcase and a box from the boot of the car then I head for the front door. I have to wiggle the key a bit in the lock but when I finally get the door open I'm met with 3 paths, theres stairs going down on my left that seem to lead to a lounge, there is a door next to me leading to the master bedroom and there is stairs going up in front of me that look like they lead to a hallway. I head up the stairs to find a bedroom that i can call my own. I go to the very end of the hallway and there is more stairs going down to the kitchen and a bedroom on the right of me, just next to the bathroom. Score.

I open the door to the small bedroom, there is a single bed already there for me, a dresser and a built in cupboard. I go and get my last two boxes then immediately begin unpacking. it took me two hours to get my room just how I want it, I put fresh bed covers on and sat Hunter on my pillow.

I decide to have a shower and just go to sleep early as its been a long day butjust as I begin to undress there is a loud bang on the door, obviously my dad. “EMILYYY” I hear an angry scream, I could tell he's sobered up a bit by his pronunciation of my name and the tone of his voice. I sprint to open the door but when i do I'm only pushed pack onto the ground by him, “don’t you fucking dare lock me out of my own house” he snapped, clearly having misunderstood what had happened but I have learnt arguing just makes it worse.
“I’m sorry, the master bedroom is there” I pointed my shake finger towards the door next to me. An evil smirk came over his face as he walked in his new room and slammed the door. I went out to the car and grabbed a towel from one of the boxes that I need to unpack in the rest of the house tomorrow and head for the shower.

I don’t like new showers, I’ve had the same shower my whole life, I had it set just how I like it, but I suppose i’ll get used to this one soon. I turned on the hot water and it soothed my aching muscles, i washed my hair and shaved my legs but after about 10 minutes the hot water ran out, so i was forced to cut my shower short. I jumped out and put on a singlet and some p.j. shorts, I moisturised my legs and jumped into bed. I thought about the days events and began to cry until I fell asleep.

Notes

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