It killed me to see Selena like this. I looked down at the girl who was silently sobbing in my arms as she had been for the last thirty minutes. She had had her dreams completely crushed and there was nothing I could do other than hold her close. She moved and looked up at me, she was still beautiful, even with swollen lips and puffy eyes. I reached up and pushed a tear soaked piece of hair behind her ear before kissing her softly on the forehead.

“I’m sorry for getting mad today.” I whispered, knowing that she’d probably forgotten about something that seemed so small now. She gave me a small nod before resting her head back on my chest in silence. We stood like that for a few more minutes until a croaky little voice escaped her.

“What am I going to do Harry?” She asked, her arms wrapped around my waist as though if she let go she would be thrown into the great unknown instantly. I squeezed her to me to try and reassure her that I had no intention of letting her go.

“You’re going to be just fine S… The dream is still at the end of the road, it’s just a different path than what you thought…” I said gently. She looked up at me, brow furrowed in confusion as I continued.

“You got into four of the other top universities in the country… what’s number two?” I asked. She pulled away and wiped her wet eyes on the back of her sleeve with a sniff.

“Manchester, but Harry –“ I cut her off, uninterested in any excuses she might have.

“Then next Friday, you and I are going to Manchester to have a look around and speak to the head of the department.” I said confidently with a wide smile. It took Selena a moment before she tried her best to smile back, although I could see that she wasn’t really sure about it.

“I promise S, you’ll see, everything will be fine!” I said, before gesturing my hand toward my car, “Leave your car, let me drive you home?”

---

“Harry? Love, is that you?” My mum called from the living room when I arrived home half an hour later. I locked up and threw my bag to the floor before walking through to find her. She smiled at me from the couch when I walked into the room. She was sitting with a cup of tea watching some game show programme while Robin sat in the armchair in the corner, asleep.

“Good day at school?” She said as she turned the telly down and patted the cushion next to her. I plonked myself on the couch next to her, apologising as a mouthful of tea sloshed onto the carpet. She rolled her eyes lovingly before putting it on the coffee table, placing a pillow on her lap and lifting her arm up for me to lay down. I didn’t hesitate to get myself into the position that I had grown used to laying in whenever she could tell that something was wrong. I lay my head on her lap and she stroked my hair for a few seconds before she spoke softly.

“So, are you going to tell me what’s wrong or do I have to work it out?”

“Selena got rejected from her first choice university this afternoon and she cried for a while… I guess it just took it out of me watching her be that broken up…” I admitted quietly, closing my eyes so I could get the full effect of the relaxing head massage she was giving me.

“Ah, that must have been hard on her… is she okay?”

I shrugged, I honestly didn’t know.

“I hope so, but I think she needs to accept it herself before she’ll see that wasn’t her only choice… that she can still do what she wants to do…I'm going to take her to Manchester to see the department next week.” I explained quietly. My mother hummed understandingly as she began combing her fingers through the lengths of my hair.

“Okay, now that we’ve talked about what’s wrong with Selena, can you tell me what’s wrong with Harry?”

I opened my eyes and sat up, pulling my hair from my mother’s hands. I absent-mindedly pulled my cross from beneath my collar and clutched it in my fist as I looked at her with a furrowed brow, pretending to have no idea what she was talking about.

“Harry, you’ve been on edge for a week now… I’ve seen that cross more in the last week than I’ve seen Gemma…” Gemma had been avoiding me since New Years Eve and had been spending more time than usual out of the house with Jensen.

I dropped the cross from my hand and sat up straight. I turned my attention to television unable to look at her as I lied.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Seconds later the screen had gone off. It was just my mother and I sitting in a silence that was only broken by the sound of Robin’s quiet snores.

“Harry… Please, just tell me… I might be able to help.”

“You can’t help with this mum, this is my screw up and there’s nothing anyone can do about it.” I said quietly as I leant my head in my hands. She instantly started rubbing slow, comforting circles on my back.

“What have you done?” She asked in a calm voice. I stayed silent, wondering how to tell her. Wondering how to disappoint her the least. Wondering how I was going to admit this out loud to anyone ever. She continued to rub circles as she waited for me to get the confidence to speak.

“I got my five responses back from my university applications.” I said quietly. My mum didn’t say a word as she waited for me to finish. I took a deep breath in.

“I got rejected from them all.” I let the breath out and felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I hated keeping secrets from my mum. I hesitated before looking over at her and expecting to see her looking back at me horrified.

Instead she moved her hands to my shoulders and pulled me into her, cradling me as though I were a small child still.

“Don’t worry about it sweetheart, everything will fall into place, you’ll see…” She whispered into my hair as she swayed back and forth to comfort me, “You can go through clearing if you decide in September that uni is where you want to be, or we can look into other options if that’s what you want. I know there are great things in store for you no matter what you end up doing, love… don’t think about this as though it’s a death sentence.”

“Thanks mum.” I mumbled with a small smile before sitting up and looking at her seriously.

“I don’t know how to tell Selena... she’s going to be so disappointed in me.”

My mum reached out and took my hand in hers and gave it a small squeeze. I looked up at her kind eyes filled with sympathy and thought about how lucky I was to have a mother who was so understanding despite my short comings. Other people would be disappointed, but my mother believed in me even when I didn’t really deserve it.

“If she loves you like I think she does, she will understand.”

“Maybe.”

Notes

Thanks for reading!

Rate, comment and subscribe... <3

Lola xo