We all walked in after a long day of skiing on the slopes, our last day since we were leaving tomorrow, and it had been great. I had arrived here as a beginner who had never even seen a real pair of skis, to being able to go on blue runs (admittedly still slower than everyone else) without dying, and that was an achievement in my eyes. We were all in high spirits, smiling and laughing, enjoying one another’s company as everyone moved toward the living room to flop down on the couch exhausted.

“I’m just going to run upstairs and take this stuff off quickly…” I said planting a quick kiss on Jared’s cheek and then moving swiftly in the other direction. I quickly changed out of my damp ski gear, replacing it with a warm pair of silk pyjamas that I had bought specifically for the holiday. I smiled at myself in the mirror as I did up the last button, knowing that the silk made it sexy enough to tease Jared without being too revealing. I left the room and headed down the stairs, surprised when I couldn’t hear the sounds of their banter coming from the living room as I approached.

I stepped into the big room and realised that no one was there. I frowned.

“They must be in the drawing room…” I thought and shrugged to myself as I headed through quickly. The door was closed as I approached but I could hear sounds coming from inside.

“Hey guys-“ I choked on my words and couldn’t speak as I opened the door and saw what was happening inside.

Jared was sat naked, on the couch with his head thrown back, eyes closed and panting hard. A way I had seen him many times before, down to the glisten of his damp skin on his chest. His hands were on her tiny waist as she sat naked straddled over his lap, grinding on top of him, her small perky breasts shielded by her arms as she had her hands on his shoulders.

He didn’t even react as I walked through the door but she did.

She looked at me, not bothering to stop the act she was performing for my boyfriend, her brown eyes sparkling triumphantly at me as she parted her lips.

“Tell me how badly you want it…” She moaned to him quietly, turning back to face him, and I felt the nausea rising within me.

“Fuck Alex, you know how badly I want you…”He grunted as his hand slid from her waist and gave her a swift spank on her behind. He brought his forehead to hers as he began thrusting beneath her, as though he couldn’t even see me.

Tears filled my eyes as I turned and bumped into a tall, naked chest with a butterfly tattoo looking up at me from the toned torso attached to it. I looked up and saw Harry’s lust filled eyes looking back at me and suddenly I didn’t want to cry anymore.

I threw my arms around his neck and meshed my lips to his desperately, he reacted just as urgently as he lifted me up, wrapping my legs around his waist and holding me up against the doorframe of his bedroom. He walked us into the room and threw me down on the bed, pushing his jeans off and climbing on top of me. He frantically pulled the front of my shirt apart popping buttons but I didn’t care as he leant down and pressed his lips to mine again. I could feel the cross necklace that he never took off, ticking my breast bone as he did.

He peppered kisses along my jaw and down my neck as his hands slipped to my thighs. I couldn’t think straight, I just wanted him so badly. He stopped kissing me to move his face close to my ear.

“Lena, time to wake up…” He said softly in a voice that wasn’t his.

My eyes sprang open in confusion. I looked around the room, unsure of where I was for a few seconds. I realised quickly I was in mine and Jared’s room, the same place I had woken up for the last five mornings. Harry wasn’t here, he was down the hall, and I was lying next to Jared. He hadn’t cheat on me with Alex… it had all been a dream.

“Hey sleepy head.” Jared said in a quiet voice from beside me. I looked at him, laying on his side facing me with a small, tired smile on his lips, “Were you having a nightmare? You were wriggling a lot?” I forced a small smile as I nodded and moved closer. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me in close protectively, as he always did when I had a bad dream… only this time I had lied. It had started out a nightmare, but the end was the best dream I had had in a long time. We lay quietly snuggling for a while before he broke the silence again.

“So, I’ve been thinking, you and I haven’t spent any time alone since we’ve been here and I don’t really fancy going skiing today, I want to take you to one of the spas in the village this morning, where we can get a bit of relaxed alone time since it’s our last full day?” I could hear the smile in his voice, pleased with his idea. He was right. Most of the week we had spent with other people if we were anywhere outside the room and by the time we went to bed, we were so tired we just flopped down to sleep. I nuzzled my face into his chest.

“I’d like that.” I whispered, still feeling guilty from my dream as I pulled away and forced a smile. He kissed my forehead gently before getting out of bed and going into the bathroom to get a shower. I waited a few seconds, took a deep sigh and then got out of the bed to go downstairs to get some breakfast. I stepped out of the door and was shocked to walk straight into someone giving me de ja vu as I looked at the familiar tattoo.

“Shit sorry.” I gasped, trying to look anywhere other than the towel that was wrapped around his hips. I landed on his relaxed face, a smirk dancing on his pink lips, his damp hair somehow still looking perfect and only adding to his handsomeness.

“It’s fine S,” He laughed as he adjusted the towel a little to make it more secure, “You only just getting up? We’re meant to be leaving in twenty minutes, you know?” I smiled at him awkwardly as I took a step back. Being so close I was able to smell his skin and it was making me lightheaded with lust.
“Jared is taking me into the village…” I muttered, embarrassed, knowing how it would make Harry feel. I could see that he was now forcing the smile as he nodded.

“Nice, have fun…” He said in a voice that sounded like he wanted me to have an awful day with my boyfriend. I nodded slowly without another word and passed him to go downstairs as I tried to think of anything but how naked Harry would have been had I removed his towel.

---

I stepped back into the house with Jared behind me feeling refreshed and relaxed after the amazing treatment I had been receiving at the mountain spa all day. Definitely something I enjoyed more than the skiing. On top of that I had had the most fun with Jared than I felt like I’d had in a long time. For once I hadn’t been plagued with thoughts of Harry and what it would be like had it been him instead, no, today my focus had been soley on the great guy I was lucky to have as my boyfriend.

He reached out and linked his hand through my own, pulling me back toward him. I spun around and instantly my lips were met by his, they moved softly together, just like they always had, the way that was familiar.

“Thank you for making this the best day of my holiday.” He said softly as he pulled away. His green eyes were looking deeply into mine as he held me round my waist to him.

“Mine too.” I smiled truthfully. It was the first time I had been honest with him about anything and it felt so good to not constantly be shrouded in guilt. I reached my hands up into his hair and pulled him closer to me to kiss him again but we stopped, our lips mere centimetres apart as we heard someone talking loudly in the kitchen. Our eyes both went wide as Jared rolled his eyes, stood up straight and lead me into the kitchen, taking my hand as he did.

“… and I’ve asked you not to call anymore!” Alex spat as we walked into the kitchen. She was standing around the other side of the island, her cheeks were red and damp and she was frowning. I felt Jared tense up beside me as she continued.

“I don’t care whether you meant it or not, I couldn’t ever take you back after that!”

“Give me the phone.” I looked up in shock as Jared took a step closer to Alex holding out his hand, his voice cold. She shook her head gently in reaction as she listened to someone on the other end. He dropped my hand and took another step toward her, his face was one of fury and I swore I could see fire flashing in his eyes.

“I know it’s him, give me the fucking phone.” He spat, louder this time. Seconds later, Jensen and Harry appeared at the other entrance to the kitchen looking around curiously at what was going on. Alex took a few steps away from Jared shaking her head harder as she listened to Dean speak.

“Dean, I’m hanging up, I’m not dealing with this, we’re through.” She hissed and dodged as Jared made a grab for the phone. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing, was he being serious, right now?

“I just want to talk to him, so give me that damn phone before I lose it!” He hissed at her. She lowered the phone and tapped the screen to end the call and put it in her pocket, her and Jared not breaking eye contact as the three of us watched on, confused as to why he was being like this.

“Jared, it’s got nothing to do with you, I can deal with it on my own!” She said bluntly. I looked over at Jared but he didn’t relax at all, if anything his look got colder and harsher.

“Can you fuck! That son of a bitch deserves to have the shit kicked out of him, I’d kill him myself if you gave me half a chance!” He had raised his voice again and it sounded like thunder as it echoed off the marbled surfaces. Everyone stood silently, unsure of what to do next. Suddenly Alex tucked her face into her hands and turned to push past me as she ran up the stairs and a few seconds later slammed her bedroom door.

We looked at Jared who was standing, panting angrily on the other side of the room, looking after where she had disappeared to. He leant against the counter and I could see from his white knuckles just how angry he was as he looked down at the floor, his shoulders rising rhythmically with his breathing.

Without warning he grabbed the plate in front of him and threw it against the cabinets next to him, letting out a yell of frustration as it shattered into a million pieces. The action seemed to breathe life into Jensen and Harry as they sprang to action while I still stood their frozen, staring at the shell that looked but didn’t seem like my boyfriend.

“Stop! Calm the fuck down!” Jensen yelled as he stepped toward his brother with an attitude that wasn’t going to take this shit while Harry walked over to me and tried to usher me quietly out of the room, but I wasn’t moving. I couldn’t. I was glued to the spot, staring at him.

“What the hell do you think you’re playing at?” Jensen hissed, grabbing Jared’s shoulders and turning him round to face him. Despite being slightly smaller than his brother, Jensen seemed as though he had done this before and the way that he held on to Jared, there was no way that Jared was getting past his brother.

“He’s a fucking prick.” Jared spat as he heaved breath after breath, throwing the plate had clearly done very little in terms of calming him down. Slowly, while Jensen spoke to his brother, I started to process what had just happened and I felt my own anger rising in my stomach. I felt Harry’s hand on my shoulder as he tried to guide me out the room, more urgently than he had before and I figured my anger toward Jared was beginning to show on my face.

“What the fuck was that?...” I muttered, Harry’s grip suddenly tightening as I began to push back against him and walk back into the kitchen.

“Leave it.” He breathed at me but it was too late. I couldn’t let it go.

“What the fuckwas that!” I repeated in a shriek, pushing my way out of Harry’s hands and marching back into the kitchen. Jared and Jensen stopped speaking and looked over at me. Jensen’s face was soft and sympathetic but Jared’s was cold as he turned to face me. Jensen grabbed his brother and muttered something which I could only presume was the same as Harry’s ‘leave it’ but just as I had, Jared shook his brother off.

“What was what?” He spat as he took a step in my direction. I had never seen his green eyes this dark and I was surprised at how unafraid I was despite the fact that he towered over me.

“Give me the fucking phone!”I imitated, shaking Harry’s hand off my arm as I took a step forward, “She’s your fucking ex! Yes, it’s very sad that Dean cheated on her, but that is nothingto do with you!” I hissed, my nostrils flaring as he glared back at me.

“Oh fuck off-“

“Hey, don’t you fucking talk to her like that!” Harry snapped cutting him off midsentence. Jared glanced up at Harry and then back at me.

“Yeah that’s it Mr. White Knight, jump in when none of you have a fucking clue what’s going on here!” He spat, standing up to his full height and glaring at us both. I forced out a sarcastic laugh and his eyes zeroed in on me.

“The only thing I fucking know is that you aren’t over her! This was all the fucking confirmation I needed!” Now it was his time to force out a laugh, his eyes flickered to Harry and back at me. Suddenly, I felt cold, did he know about Harry… did he know about me?

“Are you taking the piss?-“ Again Jared was cut off, this time I was surprised that it was by Jensen.

“Jared, you are going to lose the best fucking thing that’s ever happened to you over a damn ex-girlfriend if the next words come out of your mouth! Do yourself a favour and shut the fuck up! You are in the wrong!” Jensen said loudly and firmly. Jared looked between me and his brother before groaning, pushing his brother’s arm off his own and grabbing the keys off of the counter. Without sparing me another resentful glance he stormed past us and out the front door, slamming it with such a force that the house felt like it shook.

Once he was gone, I broke down.

I was crying so hard that Harry had to carry me up the stairs and put me in my room on the bed. He offered to stay but I managed to choke out that I wanted to be alone, so he left and I cried by myself until I was emotionally drained and could do nothing but sleep.

I was awoken a few hours later by a gentle knocking on the door. I lay there numb and ignored it, I didn’t want to see anyone. They knocked again and again I ignored it. A few seconds later, the door opened slowly. I glanced over and saw my boyfriend coming in, his own eyes swollen and red as he looked at me sheepishly.

“Lena, we need to talk baby…” He said quietly as he closed the door behind him and walked slowly round to his side of the bed. I stared past him, glassy eyed, uninterested in anything he had to say. He sat down and just stared at me for a few minutes sadly. I didn’t care.

“Please baby, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say anything to hurt you… you know that guy is not me… I see now that you need to know the truth…”

I blinked and looked at him without a word, giving him his moment to tell me this great truth that would make everything better. He sighed and turned so that he was facing me, cross legged on the other single mattress next to mine.

“Alex asked me not to tell anyone this, but Jen is right, I don’t want to lose you over this and I will if I don’t tell you…” He took a deep breath and closed his eyes before opening them again and looking at me seriously, “The night before we left, after I left you at Harry and Gemma’s, Alex came over…”

My eyes began filling with tears again as I thought about what was coming. I had flashbacks to my dream and knew that if the words came out of his mouth I would be physically sick.

“… She was crying, so we went and sat in my car so she could tell me what was wrong, and she said… she told me that Dean had… he’d… Lena, he forced himself on her.”

My head instantly snapped up to look at him, my mouth opening a little in shock. This was the last thing I had expected him to say. I suddenly got flashbacks of Charlie in the music room and remembered how lucky I was that Harry and Jared had shown up when they had… Alex hadn’t been so lucky. I sat up, still hugging the pillow that I had been lying with as I watched him fighting back the tears.

“Baby, when she told me, all I could think of was when…” He trailed off, but I knew what he was talking about. I nodded and felt the tears that had been welling up in my eyes from what I had presumed, begin to fall slowly.

“She said she just wanted to get away from it, and she didn’t want everyone treating her differently if they knew so she asked me to lie for her and agree that he had cheated…” I crawled across the bed and sat myself on his lap, tucking into him. He wrapped himself around me and rocked me back and forth slowly in silence. It all made sense now and I felt so bad for her. After a few minutes I looked up at him.

“So you don’t like her?” I asked quietly. He smiled at me sadly and shook his head.

“Of course I don’t. I love you. Only you.” He whispered and planted a kiss on my forehead, “I’m sorry that I let this get in the way of us, that was never my intention.”

“It’s okay, I’m sorry for being a little crazy…” I let out a half-hearted giggle as he rolled his eyes at my understatement and I knew that we were okay.

Later that evening after Jared and I had lay together watching films I went down to the kitchen to get some water before we went to sleep. I walked into the kitchen and was surprised to see Alex in there making hot chocolate. I watched her out the corner of my eye for a second as she stirred the milk in the pan wishing that I could hug her and tell her that I knew exactly how she feels. Instead I got my water in silence and then once I got to the door, I paused and then turned back to look at her.

“Hey Alex, I’m really sorry about you and Dean…” I said sincerely. She looked up at me from the pan with a smile.

“Thanks, but we’re actually fine now.”

What? The hairs on the back of my neck prickled at the statement that made no sense to me.

“You’re back together? But he cheated on you?” I asked, slowly.

“Yeah, turns out it was a misunderstanding on my part. I actually just got off the phone to him!”

I frowned suspiciously as she smiled at me and then went back to stirring the hot drink on the stove.

“Oh right…” Was all I managed to stutter.

“Yeah, he said he’s really sorry that he couldn’t meet you all, but he’ll be at Gemma’s Christmas Eve Party on Sunday, so he can tell you himself.”

And with one last smile she went back to her drink and the conversation was over.

“Something is so wrong about all of this.” I thought as I turned silently and walked back up to bed, more suspicious of Alex and her motives than I had ever been.

Notes

Okay so this is an intense chapter, Hope you like it.

As always, comment, rate and subscribe for more <3

Love always,

Lola xo