Only You

I managed to avoid Louis for the best part of ten minutes into first period on Monday morning. Harry was in History and it was just he and I on a free, which meant he was waiting to corner me as I walked into the study room. I sighed as he looked up at me with a serious expression. I had been dreading this conversation all weekend and I still didn't know how to even handle this. I expected that he would be annoyed with me for knowing and not confiding in him considering how close we had become over the last couple of months. I hesitated in the door as our eyes held contact; he was reading me, trying to predict what I was thinking as usual.

"Please don't make this difficult... Even if you don't tell me now, then I will make you tell me later and it will just prolong the awkwardness." He said in a hushed voice, gesturing to the seat opposite him. I rolled my eyes, knowing he was right, I walked over quietly and took the seat. The silence lingered between us for a few more seconds before he sighed and spoke again, "So, how did you find out about Harold's little secret?" He was trying to lighten the mood but it didn't work, their was a tension in the air that wasn't being shifted by small jokes.

"Have you forgotten that he practically shouted it at me in music last week?" I said raising my eyebrows, "I mean you'd have to be blind to have missed that..." Louis sat expressionless for a second before a small smile broke through and he couldn't hold back a chuckle.

"I'm impressed at your ability to hide things from me for two days, that's more than most other people manage." I rolled my eyes again with a small smile before he continued, "So, what are you going to say to him?"

Our smiles faded as the question settled in the room like a bad smell. My silence provoked another realisation in Louis.

"You weren't going to tell him?" I hesitated before slowly shaking my head. His eyes went wide, "You have to tell him Selena..."

"Are you messing? I can't tell him I know, he's like my best friend, if I tell him I know it could ruin our entire friendship... I can't lose him Lou..." I whispered desperately. I felt tears prickling at my eyes at the thought of Harry not being around anymore. Louis reached his hand across the table and covered my own to comfort me.

"Selena..." He began carefully, "He is trying to show you in the hope that you feel the same..." I looked up at him. A few small tears had found their way over my lash line and were slowly sliding down my cheeks. My heart was breaking, no one was going to come out of this situation unscathed no matter what I did. If I didn't tell him, Harry would be hurt when nothing happened but if I did tell him, I would hurt us both. I couldn't win.

"Can't you convince him to stop... why do I have to tell him... I don't want to hurt him, and no matter what I do, I feel like I-" the door behind us opened, and we both jumped as Harry sauntered into the room, a massive grin across his face.

"Miss Harrison's off sick, what you guys-" He said cheerily as he approached the table, but his entire demeanour changed when he saw that I was crying, "What's wrong?" he asked cautiously sitting on the desk next to me. Louis and I looked at one another, I could tell that he wanted me to tell him now, but that wasn't happening. I wasn't ready to possibly lose my best friend. So I shook my head quietly, standing to leave as the lump in my throat burned letting me know that another group of tears were about to make their great escape. I was scurrying toward the door when Harry's hand caught my wrist. I couldn't hold them in any longer, and at the feel of his touch, I missed having him around already. I instantly turned back to him and pressed my face into his chest, my tears making his jumper wet as I wound my arms around his waist and he did the same around my shoulders. Why did he have to have all these feelings... why couldn't this just be enough?

"I need to go and find Eleanor..." said Louis, making his excuses to leave, knowing that I had gotten myself into the position where I would have to tell him I knew now. I held him tightly for a few minutes in silence before he spoke quietly into my hair.

"So, are you going to tell me why you're hugging me like I'm dying? I'm guessing it's bad since Louis was practically bro hugging me with his eyes when he left..." He chuckled under his breath. I reluctantly pulled my head back from his chest and took a step away, my head to the floor. I couldn't look at him when I said it.

"I know." I whispered.

"You know what?" He said trying to sound carefree but I thought detected the hint of panic in his voice. I closed my eyes. I had never expected my conversation with Louis to end like this.

"I know that you..." I hesitated before taking a deep breath and rushing to get the rest of the words out, "I know that you like me!" I put my head in my hands as the tears started flowing again. Harry stood quietly for a moment and I imagined the hurt look on his face that I had seen so many times before.

"Good."

Wait. What? I frowned and looked up at Harry who had taken his previous position, leaning on the desk. His face looked nothing like I had imagined. He was smiling at me. Has he misunderstood? Does he think I like him too? I hesitated, wondering what to say next.

"... Good?" I questioned, he had shocked me so much that I had stopped crying, "Harry... I... I don't want to hurt you but I feel like you've misunderstood what I mean by that... I'm with Jared so I don't-" I was interrupted by him chuckling gently.

"You're right, you are with Jared and because of that it's hard for you to see it right now, and that's okay, I don't expect you to realise for a while, but I know you will... as for me, I like everything about you, I can't help myself and I wouldn't stop, even if I could so if you know, you know and I can live with that..." He said matter-of-factly with a shrug.

"Harry, I'm not going to change my mind about Jared, I love him but I don't want you to hurt yourself thinking that will change..." I said quietly. I was staring at him in disbelief at how well he was taking the situation and how different this was to what Louis and I had expected.

"Well, now that I have the whole story surely it's my decision to believe whatever I think is the truth?" He smiled and tilted his head. What the hell was happening?

"Why do you think I'm going to change my mind Harry?" I asked quietly, confused as to what could have possibly made him think this way.

"Despite how you act with me on a daily basis? You told me you liked me first." I froze and felt my eyes go wide.

"I... I... what?" I stuttered. I tried to search my memory for the moment that I might have let it slip and came up empty.

"You told me you liked me first, and only went out with Jared to forget about me." He smirked triumphantly as he stood up straight. I felt my palms go sweaty. I had never told anyone this, how could he possibly know? Unless I had told him... but when?

"And when did I supposedly say such a thing?" I asked trying to put on an air of confidence as though what I thought he was saying was a pile of shit. He took a few steps toward me.

"You were very talkative when you were drunk..." He stopped when he was standing about a foot away from me and having to look down at me, "So, I figure, you felt it once, I just have the task of reminding you." I looked up at him nervously, "Don't worry though, I'm not a prick, I won't cross the line, I like Jared, I don't want to be more of a bastard to him than my feelings are already making me and of course our friendship comes first." I stood in shock for a second, staring up at him.

"Okay... so does that mean you won't make a move?" I asked quietly.

"Nope, the first move is all yours." He replied. I hesitated and thought about it.

"So that means we can still be friends then..." He nodded with a grin and turned back to pick up his backpack, "As long as you know that's not going to happen, I guess this can work." He chuckled as he walked to the door while I picked up my own bag.

"If you say so, but I will point out that you would rather be my friend under the illusion that you will never feel the same than not have me around..." He said as he held the door so we could begin the walk to music.

"You're delusional." I said as I rolled my eyes and followed him out of the door. I couldn't push his words from my head though, feeling that there was a little part of my heart that I had been ignoring for a long time because the other ninety nine percent was wholeheartedly loved reciprocally by Jared... now that the one percent was loved back, it wouldn't make a difference... would it?

Notes

Ok I know this has been a long time coming, but Harry's sass should make up for how late it is... :) hope you like it! Please let me know what you think in the comments and leave me a rating if you like my story while you subscribe for more!

All my love,

Lola xo