I was sitting in the study room over my books, trying to get my brain to focus, but it was like I couldn't see through the anger and I just kept rereading the same lines over and over again. I didn't have to keep focusing for too long though, since Louis throwing the door open acted as a pretty good distraction. I looked up and I could see from his face that he was angry about something, but I was too angry myself to care why. I just rolled my eyes and looked back down at my work as he approached.

"Okay, so I know you lied about last Friday night as Selena has just told me what really happened!" He hissed at me as he stood over me on the other side of the desk.

"Do I look like I'm in the fucking mood, Lou?" I said bluntly. I had lied to Louis about what happened, mostly because I couldn't be bothered to hear what he had to say on the matter. He rolled his eyes and pulled out the chair opposite and sat down, "Yes, because that was clearly an invitation for you to be comfortable while you continue to piss me the fuck off." He ignored my snarky comment as he looked me directly in the eye.

"I can't help you if you lie, so stop being a prick and start talking." He said, there was no typical Louis patience in his voice as he spoke and I knew there was no way I was leaving without telling him what happened.

---

I felt Gemma's hand on the small of my back as she pushed me toward the kitchen. My breathing was still ragged and I felt like a pot ready to boil over at moment again. I hated Alexis with every bone in my body. How dare she fucking talk about Selena like that. Gemma turned me down and pushed on my shoulders to get me to sit down in the chair. After an exasperated sigh, she got me a glass of water and sat down next to me.

"What the hell just happened, Haz?" she asked me quietly but firmly, being my mother when our own was not around. I took a sip of the water but made sure that I didn't look at her, knowing that she would have her disappointed eyes on, that I couldn't bare the sight of, "Harry Edward Styles, I cannot help you, or justify that fucking shit show of a tantrum you just had, if you don't tell me what is going on in that head! Now, speak!" she said again, firmer this time, wagging her finger at me. I sighed.

"I... I don't even know..." I said, suddenly unsure myself. I couldn't even really remember what had happened. She reached her hand across the table and stroked my arm encouragingly, "One minute I was telling S not to lose it... then she got removed from the room and that judgemental cow muttered something, something rude about Selena and I just... I don't know." I said quietly.

"I didn't hear what she said?" Gemma asked as I took another sip of water.

"A saying about insecure people being the guilty people or something... and I'd just had enough Gem." I put my head in my hands, now that I had calmed down a little, I was beginning to realise how bad my reaction had been.

"Okay, so that's why you lost it... why did you throw the drink in her face?" I could tell that my sister had suppressed a small giggle as she remembered me throwing the nearest glass of whatever at Alex.

"I needed her to stop talking and I couldn't punch her." I said truthfully with a groan, running my hands through my hair.

"Why did you need her to stop talking?" Gem asked quietly. I knew she knew the answer. She had been there. We both knew what Alex had worked out about me and my feelings toward Selena.

"You know why." I hissed, a spike of anger rising in me. My own sister wanting to hear me say the thing that killed me on a daily basis to admit to myself, pissed me off. I looked at Gemma's face though and all my anger went away. I could see it in her eyes that her heart broke for me in that moment. She had asked me to say it in an attempt to understand just how bad it was. "If she said it and Jared or Jensen found out..." I added in a voice no louder than a whisper.

"Harry... she's with-" my sister started in a gentle voice, but I interrupted her.

"She told me that she only got with him because she needed to get over me." I blurted out quietly, making my sister stop in her tracks. She looked at me with her eyebrows raised slightly.

"She said what, when?" She said carefully.

"She got with Jared to get over me. Gem, she liked me first. She told me tonight." I said as I looked at my hands. She paused and then spoke again, her tone gentle and her words careful.

"Harry... She's with him... Don't try and get in the way of that, it's not fair on Jared... or Selena." My head snapped up.

"You think I don't know that? I would never get in the way. Her happiness matters way more than mine, that's what you do when you're in love! You sac-" I stopped dead as I realised what I had just admitted to both myself and my sister for the first time. I had allowed myself to fall in love with her. Her eyes went wide as she watched me deal with my own admission. "What have I done? I've let myself fall in love with someone who will never love me back..." I felt as a tear spilt over my lashes and suddenly my sister was standing up with her arms around me. We stayed like that for a moment until I had regained myself. We then walked out into the hallway where Selena and Jared were still on the stairs.

"I love you." I heard her say. For a moment my heart stopped believing for a few seconds that she could possibly be talking to me.

"I love you too, bed?" I heard Jared say in reply, sending my heart crashing into my gut. I watched as they disappeared up the stairs, my heart breaking with every step. That should be me leading her up the stairs. Then she turned to face me and mouthed thank you and that was it. That was the last I saw of the girl I loved. She would be going to bed with him, he would kiss her and touch her skin, while I went home alone. I would have given anything to run up those stairs and pull him off her. Instead I waited in silence with Gemma in the living room, swearing quietly to myself that I could hear noises from upstairs, but knowing inside it was probably just my own mind torturing me.

After what felt like an eternity, Jensen came back from taking Alex to give Gemma and I a lift home. We had been in the car less than ten seconds when Jensen looked at me in the mirror.

"Is it true?" His voice made both Gemma and I jump, since it was so harsh. Shit. I should have realised that leaving Alex and Jensen alone was a bad idea.

"Is what true?" Gemma laughed nervously, reaching for Jensen's leg and giving it a small squeeze.

"Harry, knows exactly what I'm talking about. Now, I'll ask you again, is it true?" He asked bluntly, his eyes glancing at me in the mirror. I knew at this point that trying to deny it would be futile. I sighed and looked down at my hands.

"Yes. But I would ne-" I started trying to defend myself but Jensen cut me off.

"Listen Harry, you're a nice guy, I've known you since you were fourteen and I trust you to keep your feelings to yourself. I'm asking you politely not to hurt my brother... he really does care about her, and well, it would kind of make things difficult for me and your sister if you act on a crush and it screws everyone else up... you know." Gemma looked back at me and held out her hand. I took it and she gave mine a comforting squeeze.

"He knows Jen, he wouldn't do that to anyone, he's better than that." She said confidently, settling the matter.

---

Louis sat there in shock as I finished my story.

"... and then after the weekend had passed, when I saw her last Monday morning, all I could think about was that she said she liked me..." I said with a sigh.

"So, Alex, Jensen and Gemma all know that you like her?" Was all he seemed to manage to be able to force out after a few more minutes of silence. Before I could answer, the door opened and Eleanor walked in alone, instantly making me wonder where Selena was.

"She's gone to get her books." Eleanor said with a smile as she sat herself down on Louis' lap. She put her elbows on the table and rested her head in her hands, looking at me intently, "How is she so oblivious to how you feel about her? It's so obvious!" I felt my face drain of colour as I coughed in surprise, trying to find the words to tell her she was wrong but nothing came to me.

"Yes, well handled Harry." Louis said as he hugged Eleanor into him, "The situation is fucked basically El, Jared is Jensen's brother, and Jensen is seeing Gemma, Harry's sister... also, Selena used to like Harry, so if he tells her, she's probably going to get upset and confused... and that's not fair on her..." Eleanor nodded slowly and then looked at me. Without words she reached across to me and gently clasped her hand around my wrist.

"You know, if it's meant to happen, it will one day." She said quietly and comfortingly. I nodded realising for the millionth time how happy I was for my best friend to have found someone so amazing.

Notes

Last one tonight guys.

All the love,

Lola xo