When Friday came around, I had practically sprinted out of the school gates to my car on the phone to Jared, checking if I was ok to come round to his house. Hearing his voice had only made the guilt that I had felt all week that much intense. Harry had stuck to what he had said on Monday after our discussion, that he wouldn't make a move, but just knowing how he felt and still choosing to hang around with him made me feel like the worst person in the world.

How could I do this to Jared? He was the sweetest, most amazing, selfless guy in the world and I loved him with every ounce of my being... I knew if he found out about Harry's feelings, that I had known and that I hadn't stopped spending time with him, he would be less than impressed... but Harry had been there for me when no one else had, which made him the last person in my life that I ever wanted to see leave.

"Hey gorgeous." His usually cheery voice only multiplied the shame that I felt in the pit of my stomach as I got in the car and slammed the door.

"Hey, I was thinking of driving over if that's cool?" I asked, trying to mirror his tone and hide how I really felt. He didn't seem to notice and I could practically hear his smile down the phone.

"Cool, see you soon!" He said happily, and then after a quick goodbye, he was gone.

I couldn't stop thinking about it on the drive there. I couldn't figure out why it was eating me up so much inside, it wasn't like I had done anything... but I suppose that was part of the problem... I should have done something. I should have told him that we need to take some time apart. I should have told him that he shouldn't keep trying to prove to me that I love him deep down, because I don't. I mean it. I don't, I love Jared. Not Harry.

I pulled into Jared's driveway fifteen minutes later and took a deep breath. I got out of the car and walked toward the door, the pebbles crunching under my feet as I got closer. I rang the doorbell once and waited. I could see his tall figure approaching the door swiftly through the frosted glass window and was happy when I felt my heart begin to beat a little faster. He opened the door and it was like a sigh of relief had taken over my entire body. I felt like time had slowed down as I saw his face and every feeling that I had ever felt for him came rushing to the forefront of my mind. I had allowed myself to believe that just because Harry had confessed that he had feelings that I must have felt the same, but looking at the olive green eyes that had lit up as he stared at me on his doorstep, I realised how ridiculous that seemed. Just because he liked me, it didn't mean I liked him, and I could still be friends with him because there was nothing he could say to convince me I didn't love my sweetheart of a boyfriend.

After a flirty exchange on the doorstep, Jared had made no hesitation in taking me up to his room. It had been a week since I had seen him and we were both just as desperate to have our hands on one another.

"I love you." I whispered as he kissed along my jawline and beneath my ear, his hands swiftly popping the clasp of my bra open to remove it. He pulled away for a second and I lay down as he tossed the lace blue number to the side, then stood up to removed his own t-shirt.

"I love you more, you are so beautiful, you know." I blushed as he gave me a sweet smile, drinking me in, before lowering himself on top of me and kissing my lips tenderly. Letting me sink into him and forgetting all thoughts of the guilt I had felt before this moment.

---

After we had finished, we sat in bed for a while talking before going downstairs to get some food. I was happy with how this evening had gone so I was annoyed when I was greeted by the sight of my least favourite person in the world, who then decided to make an extremely inappropriate comment.

"Judging by Selena's hair, I'm guessing you still know your way around a mattress." Alex laughed from the breakfast bar where she was sitting with Jensen. I wanted to kill her there and then, but decided to be the bigger person and just ignored her, answered the question I was asked and then left the room with the bag of crisps I had selected. I walked back up to Jared's room and was surprised to find that he was a good few minutes behind me when he finally came in, he looked a little irked. He picked up the few bits of clothing that we had left lying on the floor in silence, while I watched from the bed.

"Are you okay?" I asked quietly after a minute or so. He stood still for a moment before turning to me, he took a deep breath and then came over to the end of the bed and started folding the clothes. His fidgeting was making me nervous as he spoke.

"I guess I'm just a bit sick of Alex making 'he was mine first' remarks..." I felt a rush of happiness at how supportive he was but that quickly dissipated as he continued, "... and I don't get why you can't just take it on the chin and laugh it off." I felt my face contorting to show my disapproval at his last statement. He sighed, put my jacket that he was folding down and came and sat down with me.

"Lena, I'm yours. Entirely and wholeheartedly, I love you so much." He reached out and took my hand, which I reluctantly allowed him to do, "Even if you think she still has a thing for me, which I'd like to point out is unlikely because she's seeing someone, but whatever, even if that was the case, do you not think it's more important how I feel about her? If I don't like her, you have nothing to worry about because you trust me." I looked at him. I wanted to protest and say that's not how it worked, but that would make me a hypocrite. So I didn't. I could see what he meant as that is how I had reasoned my friendship with Harry, which was in some respects worse as it wasn't even just speculation.

"You're right." I said quietly and leaned into his chest and allowed the guilt to fill my own again. He put his arm around me and kissed the top of my head, clearly more satisfied with how the conversation had gone than I was. I pulled away and told him that I wanted to go downstairs and apologise before we settled down to watch a film. He smiled at me approvingly and planted a small kiss on my lips.

"Thank you." He said gently, before getting comfortable on the bed and turning the TV on. I nodded and left the room, going back down to the kitchen where Alex was now sitting alone flipping through a magazine. I hesitated and then walked into the room slowly. She looked up at me and smiled in that way she does that always makes me feel uneasy, like she is being fake again.

"I just wanted to come and say sorry for being rude, I guess we have different senses of humour and sometimes I take things more personally than I should." Her smile widened, only making her look more insincere as she waved a hand in my direction.

"Don't worry about it, I guess I presumed that you and JJ had the same sense of humour! Never mind! I won't be so crass around you in the future, it wasn't my intention to upset you." I felt my brow furrow, questioning what she meant by that in my head as she bent her own back over the colourful pages.

"What do you mean by the same sense of humour? You make comments like that to him often? I asked, trying to sound casual. She flipped a few more pages and then looked back at me.

"Sure, if I'm honest he's worse for making the inappropriate remarks!" She giggled and rolled her eyes before reverting her eyes back to the article she had settled on. I stood for a second before turning on my heel, feeling embarrassed and stupid. Of course he didn't react when she said it because she makes remarks like that all the time and apparently so does he. I marched back up the stairs and into Jared's room, determined to prove that I could be just as 'funny' as Alex.

"How'd it go?" He said without taking his eyes from the television show that he was watching. I faked composure as I shut the door and got on the bed.

"About as good as you are in bed." I said casually, watching him as I moved closer to him. His face instantly screwed up in confusion as my words seemed to shock him. There was a hint of a smile on his lips as he turned to face me.

"I'm sorry, what?" He asked, raising his eyebrows and shaking his head in amusement.

"Just playing the game." I said quietly as I put my head on his chest, blocking any further attempts at conversation. Clearly he was amused by this kind of 'humour' and what she was saying was the truth.

"Erm, okay..." He said slowly as he sank back into his previous position and began stroking my hair as though everything was fine.

Notes

So guys what do you think? Please let me know in the comments, I love hearing from you all, it really gives me so much inspiration to keep writing this story!

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Lola xo