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All Again

Chapter Sixteen

CHAPTER SIXTEEN
BECCA
Now.
“Are you sure you don’t want anymore tea?” I ask Harry for the third time.
We are still in my kitchen and he continues to look at me.
“No, I’m enjoying this.” He says gesturing to me and the cup in my hands. I have been sipping on my tea for the last five minutes while he had downed his in less than two.
There is a nervous energy in the air and we are struggling for conversation. It seems stupid to attempt small talk but at the same time, I’m not ready to dig into everything; especially where he wants to start.
I am totally stalling the Bangkok conversation.
Harry stares back at me with his inviting green eyes, and though I love them, I am getting quite tired of his eyes on me.
They are too intense, and he is too good at reading me.
I’m sure by now he knows what I’m doing, and I don’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing how much he can get to me.
I sigh and take a deep breath. I need to get this over with.
“Fine.” I say suddenly, placing my cup down. “You can start.”
It leaves a sour taste in my mouth to even say the words and to even think that I am going along with this.
I know what the trip means and I know why he has brought it up.
“Are you sure?” he asks. “You don’t want to finish your tea?” he teases and then I know.
He totally knows I’ve been stalling.
I pretend as if I don’t notice.
“No you’ve waited long enough. I know you only have a half hour.” I say bitterly. His pretty blond princess is somewhere waiting on him and it nicks at me.
I don’t get what the hell he sees in her.
Okay yeah…she’s pretty. Yes, she is everything you would expect in his famous counter part, but she is so different from him.
Harry is a complicated guy and though on the surface he is kind and loved by everybody, it is hard to peel back his layers. He is a constant enigma.
How the hell did she break through when many before her had tried and failed?
How the hell had she gotten the ring?
Harry smiles and nods in agreement to my earlier statement.
“I’ve got more like fifteen minutes now since you made your tea...” He mumbles.
“Well sorry!” I say quickly and throw my hands up. “I was thirsty.”
He chuckles. “I’m not complaining Becca I’m just saying.”
“Well don’t,” I say spinning my cup. “Let’s get started though.”
He inhales a breath and expels it slowly. He crosses his hands.
“Okay.” He says. “Well…do you remember the day you arrived? In Bangkok?”
I look at his hand, studying his cross tattoo.
I love his hands, even after all this time.
“No.” I say.
It is a lie.
He looks back at me in disbelief.
“You don’t remember checking into the hotel?”
“No.” I say meeting his gaze.
He sighs, already getting frustrated. “Well this is going to take a while…”
“Why?” I ask impatiently. “Why is that even important? You always focus on the smallest shit Harry.”
He ignores my dig.
“I don’t know.” He says running a hand through his hair. “It just was, at least for me. I mean…I can remember what you had on and everything.”
I look at him curiously. Oh he did huh?
“What did I have on?” I challenge.
His eyes catch mine for a second and then they focus on something behind me. A slow smile builds.
“White shirt. Tennis shoes. Shorts with the little…holes in them.”
I’m impressed. He actually does remember.
“And why is that significant?” I ask.
He shrugs and grins. “It’s not. I just thought you looked hot.”
I had heard him call me many names in our time together; sexy, gorgeous, beautiful, love, bitch…but, hearing him say that after all this time does something to me. Only for a second though.
“Hmm. I thought you looked like a hobo with your gym shorts and t-shirt.”
I keep my voice neutral and don’t even look at him. If I do, the words ‘hot’ with those eyes might start something.
His gaze shifts and his eyes raise in excitement and from the corner of my eye, I can see a wide smile.
Uh oh…what did I do?
“I thought you didn’t remember checking in?” he inquires.
Damn. I slipped.
I roll my eyes and take a sip from my cup.
“It’s a guess Harry. You use to always wear that shit when you weren’t in public.”
I purposely make my voice rude.
“I did not.” He says uncrossing his fingers and resting his chin in his hand. “So what else do you remember about that day?”
He leans forward in interest and I have his complete attention.
I look back at him. “I just told you, I don’t.”
He smiles at me knowingly, not believing a word I say.
That’s what I mean.
He reads me way too well.
“Fine.” He says after a few seconds. “I don’t need you to remember anyway. I’m going to remind you.”
“Gee…great.” I say dryly.
He continues on, without pause.
“After we saw each other and I left you in the hotel room, I headed back to my room.”
“And?” I say quickly cutting him off.
He always talks slow, and if he tells his story in the same way, we will be here forever.
But…maybe….that won’t be so bad.
“And,” he emphasizes, annoyed I‘ve cut him off. “I went back into my room and I laid down and I thought about you.”
“I was next door.” I pointed out. “Shouldn’t have required much thought.”
“I know, that’s the point Becca.” he said as if I was a complete idiot. “I already liked you, I just didn’t know it yet.”
“Well I didn’t like you.” I clear up quickly.
“Oh I think you did.” He sung, his voice weaving the words together in a harmony. “You didn’t stop smiling at me.”
I take a sip from my tea and then place it down loudly.
“You’re crazy and totally remembering it wrong. Plus you wouldn’t know how I felt, you’re not in my head Harry.”
“No, but I remember the next day.”
I roll my eyes.
“We didn’t even do anything.” I mutter.
He scoffs. “We did everything. That whole day it was just you and me. Nobody else.”
“And Gemma and Lou and Mark-“
“Okay so there were a few interruptions in there but you know what I mean,” he says taking his hand off his chin. “It was just us. You know...the beginning of what we came to be.” He says softly.
I just look back at him and try not to remember.
For the last two years, I have tried to wish away our time together, but it loops repeatedly in my stupid mind. As I look back at Harry, I can see him replaying every moment of that night, but it doesn’t excite me like before. It kind of scares me.
He seems happy as he speaks and remembers everything. It is as if he truly believes that time for us was a fairytale.
It was, but fairytale’s aren’t real and we have already reached ‘the end’
“I think you’ve watched too many romantic comedies.” I concur. “You should stop. You’re starting to make up your own fantasies and weave them into your own little stories.”
He ignores me again.
“We watched a romantic comedy that day. Do you remember?”
“No.” I say simply.
“Oh come on Becca. Lighten up, will you? What are you scared of?”
“What do you mean?” I ask quickly.
“What are you scared of? It’s like you think you’re going to fall in love with me again if you remember everything.”
Yes. I was.
“No.” I said. “That wouldn’t happen.”
“Okay alright…so stop pretending like you don’t remember, because you do.”
I take another sip of my tea.
I scorn myself.
Why did I ever go on that trip and begin my time with this man…
I should have just left him alone.
He should have left me alone.
I sigh, slightly defeated.
I can’t hide and I can’t pretend with Harry. He knows my bullshit well and though I am drawing the day out, all I’m doing is making it worst for myself.
The longer he stays here, the more he pierces my perfect bubble I have created since he has been gone. I don’t want him to stay so long that it bursts.
“Fine.” I say after coming to a conclusion in my mind. “I do remember some things.”
“Like what?” he asks. “What do you remember about that day?”
“Besides the romantic comedy?” I ask sarcastically.
He smiles. “Yes besides the romantic comedy.”
I sigh and access that tiny box in my mind. The Harry box.
Images of the morning come back to me quickly as if the memories were never really locked away.
I remember unpacking and the text from Kelsey.
And then, the knock on my door….

Notes

Comments

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK BECCA?! Poor Harry :'(

Prinny1321 Prinny1321
6/9/19

Becca what are you doing! Harry loves you.

En_1960 En_1960
6/9/19

Nooo, Becca, what are you doing?! What's Harry going to think now when he wakes up and she has left... Amazing update as always!!

Harry02 Harry02
6/8/19

Ohhhhh.....Becca. Knee jerk reaction. Thank you for updating

En_1960 En_1960
6/1/19

YES, you're back, I had nearly given up on this story. This is still my favourite story on here so I'm super happy you're continuing it. I loooove the new chapters, so many feels!!!

Harry02 Harry02
5/31/19