What a Feeling - 1D One Shots
Harm - Harry
CONTAINS SELF HARM AND OTHER TRIGGERING CONTENT
Abygail's POV
" Whore "
" What an ugly bitch "
" Go die rat "
My mind spun as I read the tweets I was getting. Ever since I began dating Harry this was all I was getting. Every word stung and hit me deep. Harry and I had a few months of bliss when no one knew who I was. We were eventually spotted out on a dinner date and all hell broke loose. Somehow people found out who I was and found my social media. I was in a bad and dark place before I started dating Harry, I have scars to prove it. He became my light and source of positivity. I really love him and never want to see him hurt, so I only cut when he's not around. It would kill him if he knew. I have been getting better though. I haven't cut in over a month but I think that's about to change. I try to stay strong but it's so hard when you constant darkness wearing you down.
" Harry doesn't love you fatass "
" You look like a hooker "
" Give him a month he'll move on "
Tears that I desperately tried to keep back were now pouring out of my hazel eyes. I started to feel dizzy and sick. I darted up and ran to the bathroom hurling up contents of my dinner. The mix of tears and puke made me start shaking. What did I ever do to them? Does Harry really not love me? He's my first real love. I don't know what I would do if I lost him.
My heart was pounding as I slowly stood up and flushed the toilet. I walked to the mirror and looked at the ghost that used to be me. I still stood short only 5 feet. Harry thought it was adorable, him being almost a foot taller than me. I hated it. All my friends were tall or at least 5'6. The only keeping me from looking like a complete child was my sizeable bottom. Harry, of course, loves it. I always feel self-conscious about it. I have long ginger hair that used to be shiny and healthy but now just seems dry and stringy. My light hazel eyes that were once bright, have dark circles and smeared eyeliner under them adding add a few years to my young age. I was a mess. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw an old friend. My mirror once shattered and I took a piece of the broken glass and it worked like a charm. I kept it just in case I ever came back to cutting.
I walked over to the bathtub and began to fill it up. I stripped off my clothes and submerged myself in the water, glass in hand. I pulled my left arm out of the water. Jagged lines danced up and down my arm, telling my nightmare of a story. Just one more won't hurt, right? I shakily lifted the glass to my wrist...
" ABYGAIL!!!!"
Harry's Pov
She hasn't answered any of my texts. It was very unlike her. I know today is her day off of work and she usually answers right away. I've sent her at least 25 texts in the last half hour. Worry began to set in. I know I'm just being overprotective but that girl is my world. I love her laugh, her smile, her everything. It had been over a week since I've seen her and as cheesy as it sounds I really miss her.
Instead of waiting for her to answer I decide to visit her. She lives about half an hour away. Far too far away if you ask me. I've been contemplating asking her to move in, but I don't want to risk having her say no.
As I'm driving I see a little flower shop and decide it would be a nice gift for her. I get a bouquet of tiger lilies, which instantly remind me of her beautiful ginger hair. I love to twirl it and run my fingers through it. Thank the cashier and hop back into my car. The ride is a little longer due to traffic but I finally arrive 45 minutes later. I go to her apartment door and knock softly.
She doesn't answer so I knock again. Nothing. I remember she has a spare key under and welcome mat. I quickly pick it up and open the door. Immediately I am hit with her sweet scent of vanilla and spice. I don't see her in her living room or kitchen but the lights are on so I know she's home. I check her bedroom which is also vacant. Where is she?
" Baby...? " I call out. Nothing. I was getting ready to leave when I hear something from the bathroom. Quiet sobs and sniffling. My heart starts to pound. Why is she crying? I race to the bathroom and without think barge in. The bouquet of flowers I'm holding drops to the ground as I freeze. She sits in the bathtub with a sharp piece of glass inching towards her wrist, which has deep cuts scattered about. My heart dropped to my feet.
" ABYGAIL!!!!! " I shout.
She jumps startled and the glass goes flying in the air, shattering on the ground.
"H-harry," She whispers under her breath. I run towards her and pull her petite body out of the tub. I wrap a towel around her shaking frame and carry her into the bedroom. She lets out loud sobs whispering 'no' under her breath repeatedly. I softly place her down on the bed and follow suit, laying next to her. I wrap my arms around her, squishing her to my chest. Hot tears began to stream down my face as well. I wanted to speak but I couldn't. The pain of knowing what was about to happen if I hadn't stepped in is too much to handle. How do I approach something like that? All I know for now is I will keep her safe and help her get better. I never knew she was suffering. She is so strong. Our sobs quieted down and we were left shaking in each other's arms. When I could finally choke something out the only words that came to me were the words that I had been thinking all day,
" I love you Abygail "
Abygail's POV
" Whore "
" What an ugly bitch "
" Go die rat "
My mind spun as I read the tweets I was getting. Ever since I began dating Harry this was all I was getting. Every word stung and hit me deep. Harry and I had a few months of bliss when no one knew who I was. We were eventually spotted out on a dinner date and all hell broke loose. Somehow people found out who I was and found my social media. I was in a bad and dark place before I started dating Harry, I have scars to prove it. He became my light and source of positivity. I really love him and never want to see him hurt, so I only cut when he's not around. It would kill him if he knew. I have been getting better though. I haven't cut in over a month but I think that's about to change. I try to stay strong but it's so hard when you constant darkness wearing you down.
" Harry doesn't love you fatass "
" You look like a hooker "
" Give him a month he'll move on "
Tears that I desperately tried to keep back were now pouring out of my hazel eyes. I started to feel dizzy and sick. I darted up and ran to the bathroom hurling up contents of my dinner. The mix of tears and puke made me start shaking. What did I ever do to them? Does Harry really not love me? He's my first real love. I don't know what I would do if I lost him.
My heart was pounding as I slowly stood up and flushed the toilet. I walked to the mirror and looked at the ghost that used to be me. I still stood short only 5 feet. Harry thought it was adorable, him being almost a foot taller than me. I hated it. All my friends were tall or at least 5'6. The only keeping me from looking like a complete child was my sizeable bottom. Harry, of course, loves it. I always feel self-conscious about it. I have long ginger hair that used to be shiny and healthy but now just seems dry and stringy. My light hazel eyes that were once bright, have dark circles and smeared eyeliner under them adding add a few years to my young age. I was a mess. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw an old friend. My mirror once shattered and I took a piece of the broken glass and it worked like a charm. I kept it just in case I ever came back to cutting.
I walked over to the bathtub and began to fill it up. I stripped off my clothes and submerged myself in the water, glass in hand. I pulled my left arm out of the water. Jagged lines danced up and down my arm, telling my nightmare of a story. Just one more won't hurt, right? I shakily lifted the glass to my wrist...
" ABYGAIL!!!!"
Harry's Pov
She hasn't answered any of my texts. It was very unlike her. I know today is her day off of work and she usually answers right away. I've sent her at least 25 texts in the last half hour. Worry began to set in. I know I'm just being overprotective but that girl is my world. I love her laugh, her smile, her everything. It had been over a week since I've seen her and as cheesy as it sounds I really miss her.
Instead of waiting for her to answer I decide to visit her. She lives about half an hour away. Far too far away if you ask me. I've been contemplating asking her to move in, but I don't want to risk having her say no.
As I'm driving I see a little flower shop and decide it would be a nice gift for her. I get a bouquet of tiger lilies, which instantly remind me of her beautiful ginger hair. I love to twirl it and run my fingers through it. Thank the cashier and hop back into my car. The ride is a little longer due to traffic but I finally arrive 45 minutes later. I go to her apartment door and knock softly.
She doesn't answer so I knock again. Nothing. I remember she has a spare key under and welcome mat. I quickly pick it up and open the door. Immediately I am hit with her sweet scent of vanilla and spice. I don't see her in her living room or kitchen but the lights are on so I know she's home. I check her bedroom which is also vacant. Where is she?
" Baby...? " I call out. Nothing. I was getting ready to leave when I hear something from the bathroom. Quiet sobs and sniffling. My heart starts to pound. Why is she crying? I race to the bathroom and without think barge in. The bouquet of flowers I'm holding drops to the ground as I freeze. She sits in the bathtub with a sharp piece of glass inching towards her wrist, which has deep cuts scattered about. My heart dropped to my feet.
" ABYGAIL!!!!! " I shout.
She jumps startled and the glass goes flying in the air, shattering on the ground.
"H-harry," She whispers under her breath. I run towards her and pull her petite body out of the tub. I wrap a towel around her shaking frame and carry her into the bedroom. She lets out loud sobs whispering 'no' under her breath repeatedly. I softly place her down on the bed and follow suit, laying next to her. I wrap my arms around her, squishing her to my chest. Hot tears began to stream down my face as well. I wanted to speak but I couldn't. The pain of knowing what was about to happen if I hadn't stepped in is too much to handle. How do I approach something like that? All I know for now is I will keep her safe and help her get better. I never knew she was suffering. She is so strong. Our sobs quieted down and we were left shaking in each other's arms. When I could finally choke something out the only words that came to me were the words that I had been thinking all day,
" I love you Abygail "
Notes
Okay so first one done! Thank you so much Abygail for suggesting this. I just want to say to anyone who is cutting, you are loved and cared about. If no one else says they love you then I do. For everyone around you and yourself, please seek help. Anyways sorry if I didn't portray this correctly, I only know what I've read and seen online. I know this chapter was dark but I can also do more funny or light-hearted ones. I will try to get another one out within a week, I'm just extremely busy with school so...yeah.
@Kammy.
I'm glad you liked it! Sorry it took me 3 years to post.
10/2/17