Yellow

Charlie's POV
It was a few weeks before I finally got to go home and when we finally stepped foot into the house I let out a sigh of relief.
"Its so good to be home." I said as I turned to Harry who brought our little Rosie inside.
"Yeah it is... Its even better that I have both of you here with me." He said as he kissed my cheek then got Rosie out of the car seat.
"Let me hold her." I said to him.
"Charlie, you know the doctor said not to lift anything." He said sternly.
"I can hold my six and a half pound baby, Harry. I didn't get to hold her for weeks. Just let me have her." I argued.
He looked at me for a moment then sighed softly, knowing there was no use trying to argue with me because I was still pretty emotional. Just the other day I bawled for an hour because she smiled at me. He carefully handed her over and I held her as close as possible without hurting myself any more than I already was. My ribs were still pretty tender and I got some aches by holding her, but I ignored them and placed a soft kiss on her head before showing her around our house. After a very careful and slow trek up the stairs I got to the nursery and let her look around at everything though I knew she still couldn't quite see much yet.
"This is your room. You get it all to yourself." I said softly to her as I gently rocked her in my arms. "Daddy painted it just for you."
I looked down at her to see her starting to fall asleep already so once I was sure she was asleep I carefully laid her in the crib and covered her with the blanket then tucked the sides under the mattress pad so she could still be warm and snug without me having to worry about the blanket shifting and smothering her as she moved around. After a moment of watching her sleep I went into the master bathroom and ran myself a bath so I could finally wash up. I hadn't washed myself in a couple days because I just haven't had the energy so I decided to do it now. Once it was full I carefully tried to lift off my shirt but it hurt too much so I called for Harry who jogged up the stairs to my assistance right away.
"What is it, love?" He asked.
"Can you help?" I asked quietly, hating that I was so weak and useless.
He gave me a small smile and nodded, walking over to help me lift my shirt off my head and helping me undress. He kissed my forehead then helped me get into the tub and get comfortable.
"Do you need anything else? I could join you if you want." He said with a hopeful expression on his face.
"I just want to take one alone today." I said, feeling bad for turning him down but I just felt disgusting at the moment.
I was covered in healing bruises and cuts and my body still hadn't gotten rid of any pregnancy weight yet so that was causing a blow to my self confidence as well. I knew he just wanted to help me and be with me, but I just couldn't do it right now.
"Alright.. Call me if you need anything." He said as he left the bathroom, leaving the door cracked open so he could hear me if I called.
I laid my head back and let out a soft sigh as I thought about everything that had happened. I just felt exhausted. Especially lately with the nightmares I had been having. The memories of the crash had started coming back a few days ago and I kept thinking about waking up to water pouring into the car and screaming for help, terrified that I wasn't going to make it... but even more afraid for the baby that had been in my stomach. The more I thought about it the more real it became. I suddenly found myself back inside the car as the water rose up to my neck, slowly inching its way up until it was nearly covering my mouth. Tears fell down my cheeks as I gasped for the last bit of air I had left until I was completely under water.
Harry's POV
I brought all of our luggage upstairs and was just about to start putting a load of laundry in when I heard splashing and gasps coming from the bathroom. I immediately dropped the bundle of clothes I had in my arms and rushed in, seeing Charlie struggling to breathe as she sat up in the tub. I immediately got in with her and held her face in my hands, not caring that I was fully clothed.
"Charlie. Baby look at me!" I said as I forced her to face me. "You're okay. Just breathe. Breathe, baby."
I watched her as she struggled to take deep breaths, but she was slowly calming down and I finally saw the fear starting to leave her eyes. It was like she was in another place and it terrified me seeing her like that. When she finally calmed down she let out a small sob and leaned forward until her head was resting on my shoulder. I held her close and let out a small sigh of relief as I stroked her hair.
"You're okay. I've got you." I said softly, repeating it to her so she knew it was okay.
"I- I woke up in the car as it was going under... The water was coming up and I I couldn't breathe. I tried to get out-" She choked out, her body trembling at the memory and it absolutely killed me to know that she had to go through something so terrifying.
"I'm sorry, baby. I'm so sorry. I should have just gone with you." I said quietly as tears of my own started to form in my eyes as she cried into my chest.
I nearly lost both of them that night and there was no way in hell that I would ever make the same mistake twice.
~.:o:.~
THREE WEEKS LATER
"Harry, I don't want to be here." Charlie mumbled as we sat in the from room waiting to see a therapist that I had made an appointment for her to see.
"Charlie, you haven't slept in weeks since you got home. You need to talk to someone about this." I said as I looked over at her.
"I talk to you, Harry. Please just take me home." She begged, looking at me with her tired eyes.
She hasn't been sleeping much at all since we got home. The nightmares were keeping her up at night and I knew she blamed herself for what happened even though there was no way for any of us to know that she would be hit by a car coming home that night. I had just gotten myself to stop believing it was my fault that she got hurt, but now it was her turn. She needed to forgive herself and stop thinking that she was the reason our baby almost died.
"Just try for me. Please, baby. You can't keep going on like this. Rosie needs you at your best and right now you're not doing so good." I said to her as I held her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.
She just looked away from me and pulled her hand away from mine, causing a slight sting to my heart. It had been like this for a while now. She wasn't really herself and I hoped that talking to this woman would help her otherwise I didn't know what we were going to do.
"Charlie Styles. I'm Sara. I'm ready for you now."
We both looked up and saw the woman who we were waiting to see standing before us. She looked like a nice older woman with blond hair and green eyes, dressed in casual clothes instead of the normal work attired most places would have.
"Can I go in with her?" I asked her.
"Normally I don't allow that, but since this is the first session I'll allow it just this once." She smiled softly before showing us to her office. She asked us to sit in the chairs across from hers and I could tell Charlie was nervous because she was messing with her engagement ring, a habit she had picked up since she got it.
"Now, would you tell me what's been going on?" She asked. "Start from the beginning."
I could tell her question was directed at Charlie so I didn't say anything, but neither did she. She just looked down at her hands that were resting on her lap and I could tell she was struggling to hold things in. She wanted to talk about it, but she was just afraid of reliving it again.
"Harry told me you two have a daughter. How old is she?" Sara asked, redirecting her question to somewhere else.
"She's almost three months old now." Charlie finally answered. "She's tiny still, but she's such a happy little thing."
A small smile appeared on her face as she spoke about our daughter who was with my mum at the moment and I couldn't help but feel relieved to see it. I hadn't seen her smile in a long time unless she was talking to Rosie. I watched as Sara got her to talk a little more about Rosie to get her more comfortable before finally asking about the accident which immediately changed Charlie's mood. She stared off into space as she thought about it and I could see her hand gripping onto the arm of the chair she was sitting in.
"Harry would you step out for a moment please?" Sara asked me calmly.
I frowned and looked over at Charlie who was on the verge of tears and I leaned over and gave her a kiss on the head, reminding her that I would be right outside if she needed me before reluctantly stepping out of the room. It went on for a good forty five minutes until the two of them finally left the room and Charlie did something unexpected.... She hugged me. She only did that when I was trying to calm her down after a nightmare and even then she pulled away usually. I immediately wrapped my arms around her and held her close, looking over at Sara.
"I'll add her into my schedule. I want to see her at least twice a week and I'm going to write out a prescription for her to help her sleep." She explained to me.
I nodded and thanked her before looking down at Charlie who seemed like a scared child at the moment and I hated seeing her like this. I kissed her head and just held her as we waited for the papers and for the receptionist to get a schedule worked out for us.
"Let's go home, love." I said softly to Charlie who just nodded and kept close to me as we walked out of the building.
The ride to our house was quiet, but when we finally pulled into the driveway I looked over at her.
"What did she say to you?" I asked. "You haven't hugged me like that in a long time."
She stayed quiet for a moment before finally looking over at me.
"She said that I needed to stop thinking about what could have happened and start thinking about what's in front of me... otherwise I would lose you both."
Her voice broke slightly as she spoke, her eyes watering a little as she finally realized how distant she had been from me lately.... even from Rosie at times. I reach over to gently wipe a tear from her face, watching as she tilted her head into my hand and brought one of her hands up to hold mine.
"I'm sorry." She whispered. "You were right... I need help... I don't want to be a bad mum for Rosie or a distant fiance to you. We're supposed to get married soon.... I want to get better for you."
She kissed my palm and I leaned over to kiss her lips, taking in the feeling that I had missed so much the past couple months.
"I love you, Charlie. Whatever you need, I'll be here to help you through it. You're not doing this alone." I said softly.
I kissed her once more then pulled away and shut off the car.
"Come on. We have a baby waiting for us inside."

Notes