Stairway To Heaven

“You’ve already decided what you’re going to order?” Sofia asks as her eyes scan the list of dishes that The Oister serves.
Hansa is sitting next to me. Her menu is laying closed on the table, beneath her crossed arms. She’s watching Sofia and if she isn’t careful, Sofia will notice.

So, I give her a little nudge against her side, which is enough for her to tear her eyes away from our friend. She turns to me with a confused look on her face.

‘You were staring’, I mouth at her.

Her eyes widen. So, she thought s he was being subtle. Why is a mystery to me. If you want to be subtle, you stare at someone over the menu, not do it openly.

“Yeah. I’m going to order the pancakes,” I reply to Sofia’s question. I turn to Sofia and grin at her, even though she isn’t looking at me. “Let me guess, you don’t know if you should order the omelet or the scrambled eggs.”

This is not the first time we have breakfast in The Oister and Sofia always has difficulty choosing between the omelet and the scrambled eggs. She almost always goes for the second dish.

Sofia had announced last night that we needed to go out for breakfast today. It’d been too long since we last done so. I believe that was about two months ago. We don’t do it regularly, just when we feel like it.

I always liked eating breakfast at The Oister with my friends and it’s not only because the diner is awesome. It helps of course, but the main reason why I like eating breakfast here so much is because this is where all three of us became friends. This is where the three of us connected. I was no longer Sofia’s as well as Hansa’s friend but Sofia’s and Hansa’s friend. This diner has a special place in my heart.

“Choose the omelet, you ordered the scrambled eggs the past few times,” I advise Sofia.

Sofia lets out a sigh as she closes the menu. She snickers as she looks at me, “What would I do without your sensible advice.”
“Luckily, you don’t have to find out,” I joke. “You’d probably order both of them.”

“Hey, there’s an idea.” Sofia’s grin grows as her eyes take on an eager gleam. You might not say at when you look at her, but Sofia loves food almost as much as she likes boys.

“No, don’t. You won’t be able to finish the both of them,” I protest. Sofia might like food a lot, she can’t eat a lot of it. She can only eat as much as the average person.

“What are you, my mother?” Sofia jokes. She sticks out her tongue.

I copy her child’s equivalent of the finger. “You wish I was your mother.”

The smile disappears from Sofia’s lips and for a moment, I fear I’ve crossed the line. Her mother is a sensitive subject. Maybe I shouldn’t have made a joke about it.

But then Sofia snickers ruefully, which I interpret as a sign that she isn’t mad at me. Her eyes wander to the table top for a moment before they return to focus on me. “It’d be lucky to have you as my mum. You’re going to be a great mum one day.”

“Let’s hope that day is still far off.” Though I want children in the future I want to do a lot of other things before starting my own family.

“Talking about starting families, has Niall asked you out on a date yet?” The smile has returned to Sofia’s lips as she looks at me with curious eyes.

Last night, I had told her about our almost study date. She hadn’t liked it that Niall had ditched me for his friends. She had declared that Niall better ask her out on a date soon or she’s going to have his balls.

If Niall and I do start dating, Niall is going to have to deal with a very protective Sofia, it seems. I just hope that she and Niall won’t end up hating each other. Having your friend and boyfriend hate each other is a horrible position to be in.

I really don’t understand what Sofia has against Niall. First, she thought he was too obsessed with her and now she thinks he’s too aloof.

“No, not yet. I wish I could say it will probably happen soon but I can’t.”

Niall may have so telepathic power to sense it when someone is talking about him because suddenly, my phone is going off and ‘Irish calling’ is flashing across my screen.

“It’s Niall,” I tell Sofia and Hansa as I quickly accept the phone call.

Hey, Niall.
Hey, Bao. Do you have time to talk to me or?
Yeah. If it’s on the phone.
You’re busy. Maybe I should call you back.
No, no. It’s alright. I can talk on the phone, I just can’t leave.
Are you sure?
Yeah, I’m sure. So, what did you want to talk about?
I was wondering if you want to study together again. And maybe grab something to drink afterward?
Yeah sure. Sounds nice.

Is this what Niall wanted to talk about? The way he started this conversation I had gotten the impression that he wanted to either talk to me about something heavy or something that required an elaborate conversation. But he only wanted to ask me if I wanted to study with him again?

There’s another thing I wanted to ask. Would you maybe like to go on a date tomorrow?

Though I’d hoped he’d ask, it still takes me by surprise. For a moment, I don’t know what to say. But then Hansa gives my side a soft jab and suddenly, I emerge from the haze of surprise.

Yeah. I’d like to go on a date with you.

Next to me, Hansa squeals. Niall must have heard it because he snickers at the other end of the line.

So, when are we going to meet up? Today. To study.

I look at the clock on the wall. The big pointer is almost at the eleven while the smaller one is staying at the nine.

Is eleven okay?
Sure. See you then.
Yes, see you then.

I switch off my phone and put it back on the table top. Hansa is beaming at me while Sofia looks at me with a small smile playing on her lips. She may not approve of Niall, but she is happy for me that I have a date with him tomorrow.

“Let’s order.”

We don’t have to wait too long for a waiter to come to our table to get our orders. We tell him what we want to eat as he jots the names of the dishes down. Sofia looks at him, or rather his arse, as he walks away. She makes in approving sound.

I chance a glance at Hansa. The smile has disappeared from her lips and I can see the hurt in her eyes, but she doesn’t cast her eyes downwards. She is being strong and it makes me feel even more sorry for her.

Because I’m too concentrated on watching Hansa that it takes me a few seconds before I realize that there’s a familiar song being played. The voice that once whispered sweet nothings in my ear, is now singing them to a few dozen people.

For a second I’m stunned, I don’t feel anything but then - like a splinter, I didn’t know I had - heartbreak makes my heart ache. I can feel tears gather in the corners of my eyes as every word that’s sung wiggles the splinter even deeper.

I can’t cry. I shouldn’t even want to cry. I’m over him. I shouldn’t be hurting.

Suddenly, I can’t breathe. Hansa must have heard my shortness of breath because she takes me into her arms and pulls me close. She whispers in my ear as she starts to rub my back, “It’s okay. It’s okay. Cry if you want to.”

“I don’t want to,” I whisper. I lay my head on her shoulder and close my eyes. “I’m over Zayn. I shouldn’t be this upset.”

“Maybe you’re not over Zayn. It’s okay if you’re not. You can tell me. I won’t tell anyone,” Hansa tells me. Then she says, in an ever softer voice. “If I do, you can tell Sofia I’m in love with her.”

I suck in a breath at the unexpected admission and Hansa’s reacts by giving my side a squeeze.

“I’m sorry for lying to you. I was afraid you’d tell Sofia. You’re closer to her than you’re to me.”

I can’t help but feel hurt. I thought that Hansa trusted me. She doesn’t know me as well as I thought she did if she thought I was going to share her secret. I could never break her trust like that.

“I would never,” I assure her.

I pull out of the hug and close my eyes to stop my tears from falling. I just hope my mascara hasn’t run. If Sofia doesn’t tell me so within the next few seconds, it probably hasn’t.

“Are you alright?” Sofia asks, voice careful.

She’s looking at me with worried eyes that look like they’re about to spill over with tears like mine. This is typical Sofia. She doesn’t really know how the act around crying people but she still feels sorry for them when they cry.

“Yeah.” I let out a sigh and give her a half-hearted smile. “Don’t know what happened. This is the second time in two days that I freaked out.”

“The second time?” Hansa exclaims at the same time that Sofia says, “What?”

“In the library yesterday, I thought I saw him. I freaked out. Lucky for me, Niall was there. I would probably have passed out if it wasn’t for him. He calmed me down,” I confess.

“That’s kind of nice of him,” Sofia grudgingly admits. There’s a crease between her eyebrows as she watches me. She’s making an assessment. I wonder if it’s about my mental state or Niall’s redeemability.

“Sofia, really. What do you have against Niall?” I might not like the answer but I really need to know. “Don’t tell me you still think he can’t be trusted because. You told me you trust my judgment.”

Sofia shakes her head and lets out a sigh. “I just don’t want you to get hurt. I just think you shouldn’t start to date again. Not so shortly after you broke up. It’s been only a week. You’re vulnerable right now and I feel like Niall is taking advantage of that.”

“You know it was already over before we broke up.” Anger has crept into my voice. Apparently, Sofia doesn’t trust my judgment not only when it comes to Niall but also when it comes to my own feelings. “And I’m not vulnerable. Have you seen me bawling my eyes out, eating a ton of ice-cream or burning pictures of Zayn and me? No, you haven’t. I’m not in pieces. I’m fine.”

As my tirade progressed, the volume of my voice did as well. I’d almost yelled the last part at Sofia. She looks hurt and angry.
“You’re not really in a position to make that decision right now,” Sofia protests.

“I’m the only one who knows how I’m feeling. Not you or any fool who’s read a stupid article and suddenly thinks they know what happened. There are my feelings. No one else’s. Mine.”

Anger is coursing through me, making me see red. I have to get out of here before I say something I might regret. So, I stand up and grab my coat, which I had draped over the back of the chair.

“You know what, I’ve suddenly lost my appetite. I won’t be back until tonight.”

Hansa calls out my name when I walk away but Sofia remains silent. I almost slam the door shut on my way out but I stop myself in time. I want to come back to this café in the future.

I go straight to the library. I may not have the paper with me right now, it’s laying on the desk in my bedroom, but I can still make notes that I can add to the paper tomorrow.

As it’s early in the day, there aren’t a lot of students at the library yet, so I decided to eat breakfast at the small food court in the library. I don’t really want to study on an empty stomach. I end up eating an apple and two croissants.

After I’ve finished my breakfast, I go to the second floor. The collection on regionalism is on this floor. It doesn’t take me too long to find the books that I need, so within fifteen minutes, after I’ve sent Niall a text that I’m already at the library, I’m working on my paper.

I’m so focused on my paper that I don’t notice Niall has sat down next to me until he lays a careful hand on my back. The sudden touch takes me by such surprise that I almost let out a yelp.

“Sorry,” Niall is quick to apologize. He looks remorseful and worried at the same time. “Didn’t mean to scare you.”

Having Niall this close makes it impossible for my heart to slow down. Not that I mind. Not at all. Having Niall sitting next to me, looking at me, feels wonderful.

“It’s alright. I was too focused on my paper. It’s not your fault,” I assure Niall. I smile at him and he smiles back, making butterflies flap their wings harshly against the walls of my stomach.

As this is the library, Niall doesn’t start a conversation. Instead, he gets out his books and laptop and starts on his paper.

When it’s three o'clock, Niall decides that we’ve studied enough for today and that it’s time to get drinks. So, that’s what we do.
The bar that Niall takes me to is just off campus and very atmospheric. The seats are made of wood, as is the bar. There are photos of beer distilleries hanging on the wall. To make it look even classier, the lights are slightly dimmed. It feels like this bar was made especially for students.

The bartender is Harry - the guy that Sofia slept with who demanded an apology for the way that she treated him - of all people. He doesn’t seem to recognize me - which I totally understand as he only had eyes for Sofia … days ago - because he only nods at us when we walk past.

Niall chooses a table in the back of the pub, the one in the corner. There are no chairs, only one half-circle bench. I sit down next to Niall with a fluttering heart and heated cheeks.

I grab the drink menu and train my eyes on the piece of paper but none of the words enter my brain. The only information it progresses is how close Niall is, how good he smells and how if he wanted to, he could lay his arm around my neck.

His thigh brushes mine as he leans in. He asks in a soft voice, “Can I have a look at the drinks?”

I daren’t look at Niall as I shift my arms so Niall can read the drinks listed on the menu but I can feel our heads are now even closer.

Niall hums softly as he looks at the options. And then suddenly, his arm is behind me, he has lain it on the backrest of the bench. Now I’m hyper aware of everything, from the soft music playing in the background as well as the muscles of Niall’s arm that ripple when he moves it.

With trembling breath, I turn my head and come face to face with Niall. His blue eyes watch me intensely, taking my breath away. And then suddenly, his lips are on mine.

They feel warm and slightly chapped as he presses them against mine. I kiss back and Niall lets out a pleased sound. One of his hands finds its way to the side of my head and I can feel the other one on my thigh.

My hands grab a hold of his waist, anchoring me so I won’t float away. Because that really feels like a real danger as our mouths open and our tongues lace together.

Niall is very enthusiastic and talented. With little nips at my lower lip and the wicked things he does with his tongue, he makes my head swim. He’s a better kisser then Zayn was.

We still need to breathe, so after a while, Niall stops the kiss. He gives me a last small pack on the lips before pulling back.
He beams at me and for a moment, he makes me think about a child at Christmas. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.”
“From the moment on that, you saw me sitting under the tree?” I joke in a hoarse voice and grin at him.

“Close,” Niall admits. “I believe it was the third time I saw you. You were biting your lip while you read. It was North and South I believe.”

I can’t help but feel flattered that Niall remembers the books I’ve read. When I tell him as much, he snickers. “I remember almost everything that has to do with you.”

“You’re quite the charmer, aren’t you,” I joke, even though the words are only half a joke. Niall is a charmer. I know just the right things to say but I can see in his eyes that he means it. He doesn’t say these things to every girl he meets.

“Only for you.” Niall winks at me and it causes a snicker to escape me. “And I’m not done yet. I still want to say that I really can’t wait for our date.”

“Good, because neither can I.”

Notes

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