The airport bustled on that late summer morning like it usually did. Security was a drag people grumbling about lines and attendants standing boredly their expressions more glazed than alert. There was a generally feeling of apathy in the air probably a reflection of the fierce storm raging outside. It was normal for late summer in Dublin but that didn't mean it made the people any happier.

But as the line inched onward there was a girl whose face seemed to pained for an entirely different reason. Her eyes glances fervently around as if she was watching for something or someone. She'd just dropped her cell phone in the trash outside of security, somewhat odd but not uncommon. Instead she had long headphones stuck into an old fashioned mp3 player the faint sounds of pop music blaring through them.

It was with nary a glance and robotic movements that she made her way past the attendant and through the bustling security line her bags packed as to get her through as quickly as possible. Shoes in the basket she managed to nearly make it through the scanners before a voice broke desperately yelling over the rumble of quiet conversation.

"Kylie!"

It was only then did the girl turn back towards the entrance of the airport at a boy wildly waving his hands eyes frantically scanning the lobby. She parted her mouth slightly as if to say something but shaking her head she just turned away passing through the monitors and making her escape.

She wandered aimlessly for a while pass giggling girls apparently on summer vacation together and families frantically trying to keep track of their children. The shop windows started to blur together an endless facade of too bright colors and strange smells. Finally she found a quiet corner not far from her gate and slung the too heavy bag from her shoulder. She settled herself on a floor the corner providing a nestling support. From her bag emerged a large notebook blank save the date in an upper corner and with a pen fresh from the package she settled in to write.

Some stories should never be told, they're best kept in the dark either too boring or too grim for most people's tastes. This story may be one of those but I feel I owe you, Niall, an explanation at least. An explanation of my actions and the reason for leaving the way I am. You may hate me afterwards, you may hate me know but at least my conscious will rest easy knowing that at least one person knows the truth.

I've found that sometimes good intentions can get you into a lot of trouble. Sometimes what you want for people and from people is not what you need and sometimes you have to let go when all you want to do is hold on. Love is a tricky thing. It waxes and wanes like the tides. Just when you think it is gone it comes flooding back like a tsunami. The problem is at some point you have to get out of the water.

I never expected to hurt this many people. I tried my best to do what I thought was right. But hearts lie and sometimes thinking gets people into a lot of trouble. I should have listened to the advice of others. No, scratch that I should have stayed in California, but I didn't. Sometimes I wish I had. Life would still be easy and I would have missed out on a lot of mistakes and heartache. Most of the time though I wouldn't have missed it for the world. The moments where everything was perfect and right with the world made it all worth while.

I am penning this as a sort of confession. Where am I going? I don't quite know yet. All I know is I need to get away from it all. I know running won't solve anything but it sure feels good. Maybe someday I will get the courage to actually mail this to you but I feel you with think badly of me for it. Because ever since I've been back my life has been nothing but a series of mistakes, some good, some bad and some I never should have made.

Notes

Hey everyone,

So I haven't been on this site for nearly a year, my account being mostly lost after google got removed as a login option. But funnily enough I got a message from someone on here just asking how I was and reminding me this site exists. This story is a re-written repost from my old account (daphne.last) and I'm excited to get back into the swing of writing!

Let me know what y'all think

-Dee