If I was going to make it through this embarrassment of a date, I needed alcohol. Not too much where I became absolutely sloshed and caused more harm than good, but enough where I could actually feel comfortable sitting across from a stranger and discuss all things Finley. So, that’s why after 15 minutes of fumbling small talk I was already on my second gin and tonic. Harry still had half of his first beer in front of him, and that’s after I forced him to order something alcoholic (turns out that first drink was just straight Coke).

A waitress had came to take our order, which made me realise how hungry I actually was. Harry was sure to point out the uniform that the workers of the bar were wearing, causing my face to redden at my previous blunder of thinking he was a waiter. After that, however, the conversation lulled into an awkward silence. Great. Not even a half hour in and we already didn’t have anything to talk about.

After swirling the straw around in my drink and looking around everywhere to avoid Harry’s intense gaze, I could feel myself becoming squirmish. He cleared his throat, resulting in me snapping my eyes to his. He looked uncomfortable.

“Um—“

“So—“

We both started at the same time. I smiled sheepishly at him, but prompted him to continue.
“I was just going to throw it out there, seeing as this is a little new for both of us. I mean, I’m just assuming you don’t go on blind dates often.” He said with a nervous smile.

Shit. Was it that obvious that I had no idea how to conduct myself in front of a random stranger? “You would be correct.”

He laughed. “Don’t worry, you’re not the only one. So, why have you been tricked into this date? There must be a reason you weren’t informed of the real plan for tonight.”

“Where to start,” I chuckled. “My mother believes I’m incapable of having a serious relationship, that being my age and single is unheard of.”

He quirked an eyebrow. “Your age being…”

“23, practically on death’s doorstep according to her.” I said with an eye roll.

“So, just because you’re 23 and single your mum sets you up on dates?”

I needed another swig of my drink if we were going to get into all this. “I have a younger brother, he’s 22 and already engaged. Because I’m the older one she worries that I’ll be alone forever just because he found his soul mate at the age of 17.”

“And you despise your brother because of that?”

“What?! No way, I am extremely happy for him. I just don’t personally feel that finding love or being in love is of the highest priority right now. It’ll happen in due time, I guess.”

Harry nodded his head, digesting my viewpoint. He looked deep in thought. I chewed the inside of my cheek, suddenly feeling like I may have overshared. Telling your date that you’re not interested in finding love is probably not a promising sign for a future relationship.

“So, what about you?” I spoke hastily, I wanted to pull him out of his train of thought, to stop him analysing everything I had just said. “You’re in the same boat as me, 23 and single. I’m assuming your age here, apologies if I’m wrong.”

“No, 23 is correct. And yeah… Single.” He said the word with some degree of bitterness. I chose to ignore it.

“Obviously, if you’re sat here across from me in some bar on a Friday night.”

He gave me a small smile. “Well, I guess you could say my situation is the complete opposite of yours. I’ve never not been in a relationship practically.”

I snorted. “You’re joking.”

“Unfortunately, no. Always had a way with the ladies, I guess. Never anything serious, you know, school crushes and all that.” He said with a laugh. “Wasn’t until I was 16 that I thought I found ‘the one’. We were together for 6 years. I was thinking about settling down, she was thinking about moving on I guess. Broke up with me last year.”

“Oh, shit. Harry…” I immediately felt uneasy. Here I was, blabbing on about how I don’t care about being in love and this poor bloke has just had his heart broken. “I’m so sorry…”

He smiled, but it definitely didn’t meet his eyes. “No need to apologise. It is what it is.”

“I wouldn’t have asked if I had know…”

“Finley, don’t worry. How were you supposed to know anyways?”

I was about to counter-argue, but I was interrupted by a waiter placing our food in front of us. I took the welcome distraction of a hot meal and hoped that eating would help disintegrate some of the awkwardness that had been created. We both happily tucked into our meals, silently agreeing to leave the conversation as is. However, once we had finished and our empty plates had been cleared away, I could still feel the discomfort hanging in the air. Harry looked as though he was in silent conversation with himself, one guess would say he was thinking about his ex. My bloody fault.

“I’ll be right back.” I finally spoke. He looked up at me, almost as though he had forgotten I was sitting across from him this whole time.

I left the booth and worked my way into the small crowd. I was definitely right about this place coming alive in the later hours, it was nearing 9pm and the amount of people in here looked like it had doubled. This just made my journey to the bar all that more difficult. Once I had wormed my way to the front and attracted one of the bar tender’s attention, I ordered two Kamikaze shots. An apology offering, I figured.

Carefully, I worked my way back to Harry. I slid the shot glass in front of him before taking a seat. He crinkled his brow in confusion and opened his mouth to refuse, I assume.

“No, no. Before you say anything, I want to apologise. I bet that last thing you wanted from tonight was reminiscing on your ex-girlfriend. It’s a shit go. And whilst I might not be experienced in break-ups, I know that alcohol will help with anything. So, please accept this shot. One part apology, one part to help forget.” I raised the shot glass, a prompt to get him to follow. Instead, he just stared.

“Oh, please Harry. I feel like proper shit, I really don’t want the only thing you got from me tonight was getting depressed.”

Finally, he cracked a smile. “I suppose a hangover would be better then?”

I grinned back. “You bloody know it.”

He raised the shot glass and clinked it against my own.

“To new beginnings.” I brought the glass to my lips and Harry followed. We both downed the alcohol, Harry pulling a face immediately. He shook his head, his curls becoming instantly dishevelled, and laughed. “Why do I get the impression you don’t do this often?”

“Because I don’t. Being in a relationship during your early 20s means there wasn’t much time for partying.”

I gaped. “Now that’s just criminal. We are getting you smashed tonight, make up for lost time.”

“Wh— No! I didn’t mean it like— Trust me, that wasn’t an invitation—“ He stuttered out excuses.

“No, no. I have decided for you.” I craned my neck around, looking to attract the attention of one of the staff. I caught the eye of a girl and she began to make her way over. “Trust me, you will not regret it. Everyone needs to let loose once in a while, and you’ve got a good excuse to do it as well.” The waitress arrived at our table and I promptly ordered 4 more shots and 2 beers, a chaser I explained when Harry looked at me absolutely horrified.

Another half hour later, I had forced Harry to down this third shot followed by a swig of beer. I laughed as he placed his head in his hands, his shoulders shaking with laughter as well. “I can’t believe you’ve convinced me to do this.” He looked up at me. His eyes were glassy and cheeks flushed. I could see the alcohol was well and truly in his system. And I could feel it as well. I was already 2 drinks up on Harry, counting those earlier gin and tonics, so I was currently in a happy daze, the room around me ever so slightly swaying.

“You’re welcome.”

He chuckled and stretched out across his side of the booth, his head falling back onto the top of the seat. His eyes fell shut and in that moment, he looked completely at peace. I smiled to myself, slightly proud that I had actually helped him relax. I let him sit, my gaze wandering around the bar.

“Shall we get going?” His voice caused me to jump. I wasn’t even sure how long we had been sitting there in silence, alcohol did tend to make time move funny. I glanced down at my phone and was surprised that it was already after 10:30pm. I nodded and we both got up from the booth.

Standing up made me realise just how much I actually had to drink. I had to grip my hands on the table for a moment just to gather my bearings. Harry laughed but did help me into my coat. Despite my drunken haze, I managed to pass over some bills to the man behind the till. Harry insisted on covering it all, but I ensured that I at least paid for all the alcohol I had forced him to ingest. Being outside in the cool night air made me realise how stuffy it was in the bar, I was glad for the coolness against my reddened face.

“Where you headed?” Harry began walking up towards Oxford Street. I followed.

“Train, you?”

“Yeah, same.”

I nodded, immediately throwing all my focus into not stumbling around like some prat. I was glad that, once arriving at Oxford Circus station, we only had to wait a few minutes for my train to arrive. I turned to farewell Harry just as it was about to roll to a stop but was surprised to see him get on the carriage and sit down. I stumbled after him. “I can’t believe we catch the same line. Don’t tell me we are actually neighbours or something?” I fell into the seat next to him just as the train moved off.

“Where you get off?”

“Croydon. You?”

“Watford.”

“Oh, right… Wait—“ I processed what he had just said. “You idiot, you’re on the wrong bloody train. This is the line to go south!”

He chuckled and looked over at me, his eyes hazy.

“Bloody hell, you’re more wasted than I thought…”

“Finley, I’m being a proper gentleman and taking you home. Not gonna let you sit alone on the tube at this time of night.”

I stared in disbelief. “I…Well then. Thank you, I suppose.” I chewed on my lip. “Does this mean I need to offer you to stay the night or something? I mean, no offence, you’re a swell guy but I feel this evening didn’t really go there for me and I know we’re both sloshed but—“

He barked out a laugh. “It’s okay, Finley. I’m not doing this with any ulterior motive, just trying to be a good person. Train ride will help sober me up anyways.”

I nodded slowly, still in slight shock.

“I really did have a good night though. Far from what I expected, so thank you. It did help.”
Silence enveloped us, apart from the rattle of the train.

“Can I ask…” I spoke quietly, a few minutes later. “What was her name?”

He looked over at me, I could see him digesting the question. “Isabel.” He finally replied with a sad smile.

“Do you miss her?”

“A lot.” He turned his attention to the darkness outside the window. I sensed he didn’t want to continue down this line of conversation. I was wrong though. “Not sure how you enjoy being single, to be honest. I’m struggling.”

“I never said I enjoyed it. I would love to be in a relationship, to have someone always in my corner.” The words just fell out, I was even a little surprised by the honesty behind them. “Never really said that out loud to anyone before…”

He reached over a gripped my hand, giving it a comforting squeeze. “There’ll be someone Finley.”

My drunken self appreciated the gesture. “You too.”

He sighed. “Still can’t help but feel that someone was Isabel. I would… I would really do anything to be back with her.”

My turn to squeeze his hand. I leaned into him, feeling that both of our sad, sorry arses could use the comfort of another human. We sat like that for a while, the steady rocking of the train lulling both of us into a sleepy daze. It wasn’t until Harry shifted that I realised it was time to disembark. He followed me out onto the platform.

I turned to him. “Okay, I do appreciate you catching the train here with me but I really don’t need you to walk me home. You’ve got a bit of a journey back.”

“Only if you insist.”

I let out a breath. “Well…”

“Thanks again for tonight, sorry if I dampened the evening at all with all that relationship crap.” He shoved his hands into his pocket.

“Not at all.” I rocked back and forth on my toes before going in for a hug. He wrapped his arm firmly around my waist, tucking his head into the crook of my neck. He smelled nice.
We pulled apart, and with a small wave I began to walk up whilst he moved down the platform, waiting for a train back.

He was almost out of sight when I suddenly found myself jogging back. “Harry—"

He looked up in surprise.

“Look, maybe I can help you out with Isabel or something. I might not have the best luck in the relationship department but I can sure as hell help with yours.” The idea had been presented before I had even processed it properly.

I studied him intently, watching as his expression changed from utter confusion to deep focus to a hesitant smile. “Would you really?”

I shrugged. “I don’t really have anything to lose, and I did quite enjoy your company tonight, despite the awkward circumstances.”

He chuckled. “Alright then, but only if I get to help you find someone.”

“Oh— No, that’s fine.”

“Come on, Finley! Trust me.”

Thoughts swirled around my brain, feeling extremely reluctant. “I suppose so… But the main focus is you.”

He thrust out his hand. “Shake on it then, and it’s an official pact.”

Slowly, I raised my hand and met his. “I better not regret this.”

He laughed. “I’m sure I’ll scrounge someone up Finley.”

I rolled my eyes, but still cracked a smile. “Alright, well good night then.”

“Good night.”

“Oh, and if we’re gonna do this, it’s Fin.”

He grinned. “Good night, Fin.”

Notes

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