I rest the computer on my stomach multitasking eating Ben and Jerry's.

"Heyyy Bella." El answers the call on Skype. "Hey." I smile, god I miss her. Niall then pops on lifting his nostrils on the screen causing me to laugh. Liam is waving in the background. Bear and Freddie are together playing with I think some cars. i miss my road family.

"Did she call? did she call? I hear that recognisable voice. "Relax H, She is on now." El says. She blows me a kiss and mouths 'call me.'



"Hey Bells, how are you?" Puffed out he takes a seat.

"good, how you doing?" I ask genuinely. He shrugs his shoulders.

"All good today?" He yawns unintentionally. "Yea all good, it's a girl Harry." i beam. He swiftly stands from his chair. "A GILR, TOLD YA!" He fists pumps.

He takes a seat down and places his hands together. "Ok names?" I giggle. "We have heaps of time for that H." I lie.


"We do?" He seems surprised. "I better go."

"Ok. I love you Bella." He says it every time. I'm just not ready again. I nod my head as a form of reciprocation.

---

If someone presses their hand against my belly and congratulates me again I will flip. I don't even know any of these people but mum thought it was incumbent to have this shower.

It is a famous beautiful sunny day in La, mum has the grand lounge set up, double doors leading to the backyard that is overtaken by the infinity pool. I stand here awkwardly my hands shielding my stomach




A little precious girl I carry I actually can't wait to be a mum. As scary it may seem I crave for the moments are to come in my life with my daughter.


The room all of a sudden grows extremely quiet. My mother looking at me, I turn to the front door.


Black skinny jeans, Chelsea boots and a white t.shirt with his entourage behind him.

"Heyyy Bella." El hugs me as does Niall, Louis and Liam. my eyes haven't left his green ones.

"This is for you." el hands me a perfect wrapped gift with a pink bow. "You didn't have to." I finally smile. "Oh I just came for cake." Niall excuses himself.



Harry and I sit awkwardly by the pool. The sun radiating, I rest my head on the lounge. My head is a mess him being here doesn't help either.

"We start the American leg next week."

Sighing deeply, "Look Bells I know we haven't had the best track, but can we move on please. I can't get these moments back I've lost so many so early from you and her." He rubs my stomach.


I shut my eyes I can't see him break. "She's not yours."

Notes