Friday morning.

The water trickled down my body as I shut off the water and stepped out onto the small bathroom matt. The foggy mirror blocked out my image, so I wiped my palm across it. My own green eyes stared back at me. I didn't notice while I was taking a shower, but I’d been crying. My eyes are a faint red, and more obvious tears fell. Even if I met Zayn, I guess I was still sad about Louis. With slumped shoulders, I wrapped my white towel around my waist.

I stepped out of the bathroom, just in time to spot Georgie run around the living room laughing. My mum looked exhausted from chasing after him. She growled, “Georgie, get your bum over here.” Before she could snatch his arm, he ran down the hall and disappeared in his room. My mum spotted me and handed me Georgie’s overalls, “Get him ready. I’m taking him to Holly’s before I go to work.”

I was about to argue, I only have 30 minutes to get ready but I didn’t want to waste my breath on her. She walked away, her hair a mess and her posture weak.

I held onto the towel around my waist with one hand and held Georgie’s change of clothes in the other. When I entered his room, he was jumping on his bed with only his underwear on. I sighed, “Georgie, c’mon, get ready.” I would usually be all giggles with my little brother, but for some reason I feel more annoyed and hot tempered. Georgie’s laughter roared in the bedroom, ringing my ear. He jumped off the bed and ran to me. Just when I was about to kneel and put on his shirt, he ran back onto the bed. It hit my nerve. My voice yelled toward him, “Georgie get over here, now.”

He froze.

My body relaxed when I noticed his bottom lip start to quiver.

“Gerogie—I’m sorry—”

His cries exhaled. My heart ached before I kneeled, “C’mere, Dino—”

Georgie just cried, his eyes became waterfalls. I waited in my spot, watching him cry. When he finally calmed down, he walked in front of me. His eyes lowered, as if he were telling me he didn’t want to talk. I respected his wants. All I did was dress him up. After clipping on his overalls, he wiped his foggy eyes. My thumb brushed against his cheek, “I’m really sorry—I’ve been having some bad couple days, Dino. I shouldn’t take it out on you.” I paused, noticing his green eyes still haven’t locked with mine. I slowly got up, “I love ya, Dino.” I exited his room and walked in mine.

I’m such an asshole. How could I do that to him?

I yanked off the towel from my waist before sliding into my briefs, some washed out skinny jeans and a black t-shirt. I lazily dried my hair, not doing much to it.

. . .

I remember being a ghost. No one cared to notice my existence, they looked past me...today was not one of those days. Besides from the obvious looks, there were a couple of guys who welcomed me. I even noticed a couple of girls down the hall blush red after looking at me. It seemed what I had done at Liam's party left a long term mark. I can't lie, it felt good to be noticed--but it was all for the wrong reasons. I guess it's okay that everyone thinks I'm straight?

A rough body slammed against me, an arm wrapped around my shoulders. I looked to my side, catching Liam's smile. His grip on my arm tightened as he playfully shook it, "Where were ya yesterday mate? I missed ya." Even if his words seemed kind, I could tell he was still the ass he'd always been.

"I had to take care of my little brother."

Liam looked at me, "Wow. So you can finger a girl until she's exhausted and you love kids?"

He held me as he stopped in his tracks. His brown eyes locked with mine, "Wanna be my wing man?" A quick smile escaped him before his laugh.

Such an ass.

"Don't be prude." Marie stepped beside me.

She looked amazing as always.

I lowered my eyes as she spoke, "Liam, you're just jealous of Harry because he can make a girl cum quicker than you can." She winked at me, making me smirk.

Marie, you and I would be best friends if you hadn't gotten involved with Louis.

Liam snorted, "No--I mean, that chick, Holly is home schooled. I assure you if she attended this school, I would have already gotten inbetween her legs."

My jaw tightened, "She has standards."

I heard Marie laugh before slamming her hand over her mouth. Liam's grip on my arm made me whine, "And even if you get a little more attention from everyone in school, it doesn't change the fact that you're still a fucking loser." His arm dropped before turning the corner.

Marie paused, "Don't mind him, Harry. He doesn't mean it."

"No," I said to myself, "I'm pretty sure he does."

"Marie,"

You know that moment when you feel the pit of your stomach clench? Or maybe the feeling of your chest tightening? Yeah, that's how it felt for me to hear Louis's voice. I glanced over, catching Marie throw herself into Louis's arms. He hugged her lovingly. After they broke apart, Marie kissed him goodbye since she had a separate class. Louis looked at me, "Hey, stranger."

He's acting as if nothing had ever happened. As if we never kissed, or him saying he might be gay, or drunkenly slept with Marie. I walked down the hall, and Louis walked with me. I wanted to avoid him as much as possible, but we were headed to the same class. It felt awkward, mad, and it was something I couldn't handle. If Louis made his decision to be with Marie, I should be able to tell him how I feel. Either he leaves me alone completely or he finally speaks up. Any of the two would be better to avoid the situation all together.

"What's wrong?"

I looked to Louis who was a couple of feet ahead of me. My shoes were nailed to the empty hallway. My breathing became more shallow, my heart was knocking against my chest. "I need--to tell you--something." My voice was shaken, I kept stumbling over my own words.

Louis didn't respond. My voice was weak, "Louis..." A tear fell from my eyes, landing against the ground I felt nailed on. Why was this so damn hard? I wanted--no, I needed to tell him. Louis, I love you. See? Louis, I'm gay. Easy. I love you, Louis--I'm fucking gay for you. The words were simple to say, but why couldn't I do it? I love you, Louis. I'm gay. "Why is it so hard for me to admit that I'm gay for you, Louis?"

Well

That's one way to do it.

I'm afraid to look up.

"Really?" His voice asked.

I nodded, my eyes staring at my shoes. I mumbled, "I...I love you." My eyes betrayed me, looking up to Louis who was staring back.

Louis walked toward me.

Let's re-cap, this could go two ways: he'll competently cut me off or accept me.

His words marked my memory, "I don't know what to say...I'm going to need some time to think."

Wh...what the hell does that mean?

Louis said softly, "I have a few things to think about--I'll call you as soon as I get my thoughts together."

As soon as I get my thoughts together are you serious? My pencil tapped against my desk, my thoughts running wild. I finally confessed, only for him to take time to himself. Was there a chance he might feel the same way? I'm so confused and pretty mad. Louis drives me crazy, he fucks me up.

After school, I walked home as usual. My phone rang, so I answered it--it's from Zayn.

"Tomorrow, me and you--what do you want to do?" His voice asked.

My face flushed, "I--uh--my friend Niall's art show is tomorrow...we should go together?"

"Sounds amazing, love."

Love.

"Great. I don't have a car--"

"I'll pick you up in mine."

Right, he's 20.

I nodded, "Okay, I'll text you my address."

I can hear the smile in his voice, "Perfect."

...am I going on a date tomorrow?

Shit

I am.

Notes