Stay

I woke up to find Harry’s arm still around me and I leaned into his chest more, feeling so warm and comfortable and then I remembered. It was today. I had to leave.

My eyes, which had been gently closed, flew open as this thought came to my mind once more. All the happiness I had ever felt seemed to drain away as I was filled with despair. I truly had no idea what to expect in the next few days, weeks or months… however long it lasted I didn’t know what was going to happen.

“Claire,” I heard Harry whisper.

“Yeah, Harry?” I whispered back.

“You all right? You’re breathing quickly,” he said, using normal tone once he knew I was awake.

“I…” I began and I felt his grip around me tighten and his lips bushed the top of my head.

“I was just… thinking,” I finished weakly.

“Oh, babe. I…how about I make you breakfast, we’ll make the most of this,” he said as he brought his hand up to stroke my hair.

“O-ok, but I want to help,” I said.

“All right, deal,” he said as he pushed the blankets down, kicking them as they got to the end of the bed. We both got up and pottered out to the kitchen, Harry with him arm around my shoulders.

“Now, what do we have?” he said as he opened the fridge. I could tell he was trying to keep his tone light. “Just enough eggs and bacon for the two of us, babe,” he says pulling them out of the fridge and taking them over to the bench where I joined him.

And so we began. I was in charge of scrambling the eggs while Harry fried the bacon over the element. We both cooked and buttered the toast and once everything was ready we put it all on the table and began to tuck in.

Harry thought it’d be a good idea to smother his bacon in sauce and then try to feed me some, getting a fair bit of sauce on my nose and making me giggle.

“Let me get that, babe,” he said as he got his thumb and wiped it off my nose.

We had lots of good laughs during that breakfast together but as it was drawing to a close my face fell and my heart along with it.

“Babe…” said Harry, reaching across the table to take my hand and he began to stroke the top with his thumb. “It’s going to be all right… I know I’ve said that a lot but…”

“It’s ok, Haz. I’m just going to miss you,” I said, looking down at my knees. “We won’t be able to have this every morning any more.”

“I… I know, babe. But it won’t be forever, I’ll make sure of that,” he said.

All I could do was nod. What I wanted to say had already been said.

After breakfast I took a long shower trying to drag it out for as long as possible. Letting the hot jet run over me as I stood there, not bothering to wash much.

Once I was dressed I went to the lounge and sat on the couch. Harry joined me soon after and placed his arm around me. Amy was going to pick me up at 11, which was soon, about half an hour away.

Harry slipped a finger under my chin and turned me to face him. I looked into his eyes as he searched my face, growing closer all the while. And as his lips touched mine I closed my eyes and got lost in the moment. It was soft, sweet and full of love.

“I love you, babe,” he whispered as he pulled away once more.

“I love you too, Harry,” I said, looking him in the eyes.

“You know I could… show you,” he said as he looked at his knees.

“Show me what?” I said, slightly confused.

“How much I love you… you know, in a different way… before you leave,” he said, quietly.

“Harry, you know I can’t. I promised,” I said, holding out my hand to show the purity ring.

“I know, babe. I just… I wish you could know…”

“Believe me, Harry. I do know… I promise.”

“You know you’re amazing, babe. Wearing that… saving yourself,” he said.

“But you’re amazing too, Harry.”

“No… not really… not like you,” he said, shaking his head.

“Harry… you’re wonderful, ok? You’ve respected me for this long and I know you will continue to respect me as you do other girls. That’s what makes you amazing in my eyes,” I said, reaching over to hold his hand.

Suddenly I heard a knock on the back door.

“Amy’s early,” I said, quietly as I stood up, making my way to the door.

“Hey, you ready?” she said as I answered the door.

“I think so,” I said.

“I’ll wait here, then… while you two… you know…” she said, awkwardly.

I nodded as I went to the bedroom to get the stuff I had packed earlier. I turned to see Harry leaned against the door frame.

“This is it then, babe,” he said.

“I… yeah,” I said, sniffing a little as I began to feel a little teary. He came over to me and wrapped his arms around me holding me tightly, rocking on his feet slightly.

“Shhh, babe. Like, I said, it won’t be forever,” he said, trying to stay calm himself as he kissed the top of my head. I couldn’t say anything myself, I just stood there, in his arms.

Eventually I had to go and so he took me to the door to say goodbye. It all went so quick and before I knew it I was sitting in Amy’s car, doing my seat belt up and then we were pulling out of the driveway.

I looked back as we drove away and saw Harry at the window, his face wet with tears. I looked and looked until the very last second when we turned the corner. It wasn’t going to be forever, he said…

Notes