Stay

My head felt heavy. It felt like it was a boulder on my neck instead of a head. I had no idea where I was but I was aware that my eyes were closed. They, too, felt heavy. My eyelids, that is. It took me a while to open them and when I did, everything in front of me was a blur. All I was able to tell was that it was nearly night time because the light wasn’t… wasn’t light. It was a half-light. Or maybe a quarter light. There was a light in the distance though. Possibly a street lamp. I blinked a few times and everything cleared a little bit. Not completely, but things were less blurry. I kept doing this until everything had cleared up and I could see my surroundings. I seemed to be in a park against a tree. I looked down beside me to see my bag open with some bottles of wine inside and one other bottle, which seemed to be empty and lying on its side a little way away from my bag. And a bit further away was a pile of sick. I scrunched my nose up and looked away from it. I became aware that my head felt as if an elephant had been sitting on it for a couple of hours, not that I knew what that was like but I thought it was a pretty good analogy.

I took in my surroundings some more and though I couldn’t remember right away what happened I came to the conclusion that I’d had a lot of wine to drink and I threw up. I didn’t manage to drink the whole bottle because there was quite a bit that had spilled on the ground. But this was all I could really concentrate on for a little bit until the pain in my head began to distract me even more.

I sat there for a while trying to overcome the pain and eventually it dulled enough for me to be able to get up, but with some difficulty. My head spun a bit as I rose off my knees and I grabbed the tree for support, breathing slowly until everything was still once more and I was able to see.
Once I was sure that I was stable, I picked up my bag and walked across the park slowly so I wouldn’t trip. To be quite honest, I had no idea where I was going and stopped halfway across the park to ponder.

As I thought about this my stomach rumbled. I placed my hand on it and looked down. I should probably eat something. I couldn’t remember the last time I ate something but I was certain that it was hours ago. And with that I was on my way across the park once more, keeping to the shadows.

I didn’t want to be seen. I was probably a mess judging by the situation I’d found myself in but I knew that eventually someone would have to see me.

I went to the nearest shop and bought some chips because that was the first thing I saw and I thought, why not? I’m hungry. I actually bought a few packets just in case and then went back to my spot beneath the tree in the park. I stood there for a little while looking at what I’d left behind. The wine, the sick. After smelling it I decided to move a little deeper into the trees just to get away from it and to be a bit warmer.

I sat with my back against a different tree, opened one of the packets of chips and began to eat. I hadn’t realised how empty my stomach was until I’d filled it a little. It was nice and I just couldn’t help but eat the rest of the packets I’d bought, which left me with none. Ah well, I’d buy some more later on.

It took me a while to realise why I was actually there in the first place. I had no idea when I’d woken up and only now were things coming back to me. It came in flashes. The charger, the rubbish, the open bin, the condom and everything else that happened after. It made me feel sick to the stomach and it began to bubble… my stomach that is. It bubbled and bubbled until it all came up again. I squeezed my eyes shut as I chucked up everything I’d eaten. It was horrible. I shivered a little once I’d finished and sniffed. The smell was horrible so I moved further back into the trees.

It was getting darker now and I was getting tired. I guessed I had better settle down for the night so I pulled something soft out of my bag and lay it down as a pillow before laying down myself and attempting to sleep.

You know that feeling when you’re really tired but you can’t sleep? Well that’s pretty much how I was feeling. I kept yawning and my eyes were drooping but every time I shut them they wouldn’t stay shut and I opened them again only to repeat the process. It was annoying more than anything else.

Eventually I felt relaxed enough that I began to actually drift off only to feel small dots of water on my face. I opened my eyes and looked up to see where it had come from but and received more on my face only it was a little heavier. Rain… great. Typical London weather that was. I suppose I had to do my best though, its not as though I could go anywhere else. I tried to relax a little and ignore the drops of rain that began to fall harder through the treetops. It was cold but sleep did come after quite sometime and to tell you the truth, I was relieved to escape the world for a bit because I could compare it to hell in a fair few ways right now.

Notes