Save and Pursue

As Harry gets up to leave a short while later, I breathe a sigh of relief. Relief that I haven’t slept with him or done something else stupid. I slip into the kitchen to grab my phone which i had left on the kitchen counter. It buzzes at my touch alerting me of messages. When I click it on, the screen is filled with messages and missed calls from Josiah. I ignore them and slip the phone into my back pocket.

Harry is standing at the door and I make my way over to him, feeling a little bit shy, which is ridiculous after the intimate moment we shared just an hour earlier. When I’m within arm’s reach, he grabs me and pulls me into a tight hug, earning a small smile from me. I felt very small in that instant. Then Harry reaches down to my bum and gives a tight squeeze, I’m about to let out a sound of protest but he releases my ass and grabs my phone instead.

He smirks as I lightly smack his chest, “What? I need your number,” he smiles.

When he opens the screen of the phone, he sees the plethora of messages and calls from Josiah. His smile vanishes instantly.

“Is this…” his voice trails offs. I try to grab the phone back from him but he holds it out of my reach. He tries to catch my eyes but I look at the ground.

“I told you he was my friend,” I say quietly, feeling somewhat ashamed and a little defensive. I’m afraid he might berate me for my association with Josiah, but it isn’t my fault. We were friends for 3 years and he never behaved that way before.

Harry furrows his brow. He looks frustrated. He’s probably wondering what he should say. Harry doesn’t know me well enough to demand anything from me, like telling me to stop talking to Josiah. But he’s also shown himself to be protective, meaning he would want me to stay away from Josiah.

I try to calm the inner turmoil that is clear on his beautiful face, “I’m not going to talk to him, at least not for a while,” I say, bringing a hand to his face and trying to smooth the tension creasing his brow. He meets my eyes and relaxes a little, a slightly devilish look appearing suddenly on his face.

He puts his hands on my hips and pushes me softly into the wall by the door. My breathing picks up as he pushes his body against mine, but not due to fear. He places a kiss right below my ear before he whispers huskily, “No one else will be touching you for as long as I’m around.”

I want to ask him how long that will be but the words freeze in my throat. I feel uneasy at his possessiveness, I’ve been single for a long time and I’m not ready to be controlled or “belong” to someone else. A small flare of anger rises in my chest, “I’m not yours,” I say sternly, my voice low. I raise my hand to his chest and push lightly, making Harry take a step back. He raises his hands as if to placate me, but his eyes are slightly dark, not as playful as they had been. “Whatever you say,” He says lightly. He bends and gives me a full kiss on my cheek as he moves to leave, “I’ll be seeing you soon, beautiful.”

I shut the door behind him and lean against it. I let out a heavy breath, frustrated that he left with me feeling this way. I go about my evening routine, washing my face, brushing my teeth, and curling into bed with an uncomfortable feeling nagging at my stomach. I tossed and turned for a long time, a voice in my head repeating, “Not safe, not safe.” I try to justify those feelings by recounting my past relationships. I’ve only ever had two boyfriends, but both relationships had ended badly, and all the dates I’ve been on since have either been disasters or just boring. Perhaps I’m just nervous about Harry because of my past experiences with romantic endeavors.

But then I think about what Harry said earlier that day. I asked him what I knew about him and he closed off, saying that i don’t know anything. Even after spending the day with him I still don’t know anything. Despite some of the fun we had, and the undeniable physical chemistry, something doesn’t feel right. I’m not ready to have a broken heart again and the voice in my head agrees, saying, “Not safe, not safe, not safe…”

Notes