London Calling

It didn’t matter how long we had been together, every morning when Annie’s alarm went off I nearly had a heart attack. Her alarm had been Hedwig’s Theme from Harry Potter for as long as I’d known her. It would start quietly and then get really loud as the full orchestra came in. There had been a number of times where I was in a deep enough sleep that it altered my dream and I went from wherever I was to the Great Hall of Hogwarts. I was sure she did it just to pick on me. She made Harry Potter jokes a lot, saying she wished she’d fallen for the Harry with the magic wand, which usually led to a lot of dirty jokes. This morning I was mostly awake from the sun starting to peak through the window of our suite. She stretched a little in bed next to me and I watched her reach for her phone without even opening her eyes to shut the alarm off and curl back up like she was going to back to sleep.
“If that alarm goes off in another nine minutes I’m doing to throw your phone off the balcony.” My voice gave away that I was exhausted.
“But I’m tired,” she said as she rolled over and buried her head in my chest.
“I know. I am too. So if you want to sleep in just set another alarm. Don’t hit snooze for an hour.” She glared at me while pouting.
“You’re so mean.”
“You’re so predictable.”
“I am not.” She glared at me again.
“You set your alarm for like an hour earlier than you want to get up and just hit snooze until the last minute. Or you set alarms every 15 minutes that then alternate with you not looking when you shut your alarm off and the snooze going off.”
“I am not a morning person.”
“I’m well aware of that. But today is a big day. We need to get up and get ready. You need a wedding dress.” She smiled at me before giving me a kiss and getting out of bed. I heard her moving around in the bathroom, getting her iPhone set on whatever she was going to listen to and the water turn on it the shower. I listened closely to hear what she had decided to play for music, it was always a good way to gauge her mood early in the morning. There were some mornings that she didn’t say a word until she was out of the shower and a cup of coffee or three in to her day. The music always gave away how she was feeling. This morning the sound of a piano spilled out into our suite, John Legend’s voice came next. I stood from bed and walked in to the bathroom. “Are you trying to coax me into the shower with you this morning?”
“It doesn’t usually take any coaxing.” She giggled. I stepped in to the shower behind her. “Hi there.”
“Hi.” I bent down to kiss her. “I get to marry you tomorrow.”
“I know. I’m pretty excited about it.”
“Do you feel bad that you didn’t tell all of the girls?”
“Not really. They will all know that we had our reasons. Alyssa knows how hard it is to make the tough calls.” She was right. Everyone had gotten married the way they wanted, they would get it. Kim and Nate had a large wedding in Cambridge with all of their family and friends in attendance. Alyssa and Cam had planned an intimate wedding at O’Brien’s with just their family and closest friends present. Niall and Lyla had gone to Ireland and their wedding was basically a three day party. Niki and Tom had gotten married in London with a swanky reception at their restaurant. Annie also deserved what she wanted, just us. She was right, her friends would understand. They had all done this before, we were the last to go through this. “It’s our parents and siblings that I feel bad about. I’m stealing a dance from your Mum.”
“And I from you Dad.”
“We danced together in the kitchen the last time we were home.” I had caught them dancing together. They had snuck in to the kitchen as everyone was watching football to steal some of the leftover pasta from the meal. There was music from the halftime show flowing in to the tiny kitchen and they started to dance together. I had managed to sneak a photo of it on my phone. “He said that when we are home this summer he will have a little party at the house for us. I’ll give him his dance then.”
“As long as you’re okay with this. If not we will just get on a plane and fly to Iowa and get married in that church on the south side.” She smiled up at me.
“I love you.”
“I love you.”
“We need to get ready,” she said.
“I know.” We quickly finished our shower and started to get dressed. I was done long before she was so I took the opportunity to read the news and order us some coffee and croissants. She emerged from the bathroom fully dressed and ready for the day. She sat down next to me leaning over and taking a bite from the pastry in my hand. “I ordered enough for both of us.”
“I wanted yours,” she mumbled through the food in her mouth. I glared at her as there was a knock at the door. She stood and went to the door to let Kim and Nate in. I quickly finished the pastry.
“Aww, thanks for ordering us breakfast, Harry,” Kim said as she sat down next to me leaning forward to take a pastry off of the tray.
“You’re welcome, I guess.” I couldn’t stop laughing. Kim was always happy to travel with us because I ordered room service for breakfast before we left. Nate and Annie only ate breakfast if they were with me or Kim. The two of them could last until afternoon on coffee alone. “So where have you two ladies decided we needed to shop?”
“I figure that we just go the usual places we like. Whatever it is I’m supposed to wear in this wedding is just going to make itself appear. I’m not worried.” She was relaxed and smiling. I leaned over and kissed her cheek before kissing her neck just below her ear.
“Well, then let’s get shopping and find you two some dresses.” We were out the door and on to the streets of Paris. Today Annie had her camera with her. Snapping photos of what we saw and did. Part of me wondered if she would add to her book and include some of her photos from this trip and allow the book to cover our life together up until the moment we say ‘I do’. It had taken her months but she had finally edited down the years of photographs to what she wanted to print and had been working diligently on the stories about each of them. Her talent with words and a camera continued to amaze me every day I spent with her. Reading through her notes on the photos she was including brought back such wonderful memories.
We had spent the entire morning going in and out of everything from small boutiques to high-end designer stores. I was positive she’d tried on half of the dresses in Paris and she couldn’t find anything she wanted. We found a cafe to grab lunch in quickly before going back out and shopping again. Kim had finally decided on a blue skirt and black top. She of course had found several dresses she loved and had even purchased three by the time we made it in to a little boutique on a quiet street. Annie was quiet every time we entered. I could tell that she was unsure of shopping for a wedding dress. Once someone asked what she was shopping for the employees in the store would either go nuts trying to pick out a dress, which inevitably weren’t her style or they would question her sanity for shopping the day before her wedding. She was getting discouraged and I felt terrible.
“Sugar, are you okay?” I asked quietly as she wandered through the store.
“I’m as good as I can be. I’m getting nervous I won’t find anything.”
“You will. I can feel it.” I kissed the top of her head as I started to look around the store. I found a few dresses for her to try as did Kim and Nate. The lady that was working in the store took them into a fitting room along with a few dresses Annie found. This meant it was time for Annie to try on dresses and the rest of us to sit in the store and watch. She didn’t look happy with the first few dresses that she tried on. Her body language said it all despite her protests that she liked the dresses that we had all picked for her. After the fourth dress in this store she headed back into the room. She looked discouraged. “Baby, I know we will find something. Don’t give up.”
“I’m trying not to. I’m sorry this is taking so long,” she called from behind the door.
“Don’t worry,” Kim said. “Remember how many places we had to shop to find my wedding dress?”
“I thought we were going to have to fly to New York to shop,” Annie recalled with laughter. “Okay, I think I found one I really like.”
“That’s great. Come show us,” I responded.
“I really like it but I don’t think it’s appropriate for a wedding.” She slowly opened the door and stepped out. She was stunning. My heart rate increased and a lump formed in my throat.
“You…you look absolutely perfect.” I barely choked out the words.
“You don’t think it looks wrong for a wedding?” The dress was black with a tight bodice and sweetheart neckline. The skirt was black tulle, almost like a ballerina tutu.
“I have two words for you,” Kim said. “Carrie. Bradshaw.”
“Really?”
“It’s perfect. That’s the dress.”
“She’s right,” I added. I stood up and walked towards her. I took her hand and spun her in a circle. “This is the dress I want you to wear when we get married. Your face tells it all. It’s the one you want to wear too.”
“It is I was just worried it was childish.”
“No, it’s perfect.” I kissed her as she started to jump up and down.
“I have a dress!” Kim and Nate jumped up to hug her as well. She went back in to the fitting room and changed back in to her clothes while I took the dress and purchased it. “Now what else is on our list for today?”
“We need to get you flowers for tomorrow,” Kim said.
“Do you guys have rings?” Nate asked.
“We did get rings in London before we came,” I replied.
“Do you know where you’re getting married?” Kim had been full of questions since we’d told them we were eloping here.
“Yes,” Annie answered. “We are getting married in Trocadero Plaza with the Eiffel Tower behind us. I hate to be the bearer of bad news but the plan is to get married at sunrise. So the wake up call for tomorrow is going to be really early.”
“Sunrise?” Kim looked at us both like we were crazy.
“Sunrise,” Annie confirmed. “We have shared so many special moments when walking around in the middle of the night and into early morning. The idea of getting married as the sun paints the sky a beautiful color is something that we both liked the idea of. Then we have most of the morning to take photos around the city.”
“I hate you two for wanting sunrise, but it does sound pretty romantic. I guess that just means we have an early night tonight.”
“I’m okay with that,” Nate said.
“Good,” I replied. “How about we head back to the hotel and stop at that little florist down the street? Then we can grab dinner in the restaurant at the hotel in a bit.”
“Sounds perfect.” Annie leaned in to me. “This is going to be absolutely perfect.”
“It will. Just the way we’ve imagined.” We walked hand-in-hand through the streets as we made our way through the city. We stopped at the florist to get flowers. I knew Annie’s favorite flower was a peony but that was going to be impossible to find in March. She loved flowers, in the years we had lived together my garden had turned in to hers. It took her years to get a green thumb but she’d finally been able to grow tulips, peonies, lavender and a few varieties of roses. I approached the florist and started to speak to him in French asking about flowers for the wedding.
“I have English Roses,” he replied in English with a heavy French accent. I saw Annie turn quickly.
“You do?”
“Oui, mademoiselle.” He took Annie’s hand and lead her to the area of the shop that had the roses she had her heart on. I heard her gasp.
“Magnifique!” She was smiling from ear-to-ear as the florist helped her get together a large bouquet of blush pink roses. “These are absolutely perfect. Thank you so much.” Annie had spent years practicing and trying to learn French, I’d tried helping as had Niki but she’d never become comfortable being conversational. Just the occasional phrase here and there. I handled the cost of the flowers and we left the shop and finished the walk to the hotel. We put her bouquet in a vase in our room and hung up her dress. She pulled my suit from the hanging bag we had brought it in and made sure that is didn’t have any wrinkles in it. It was her time to start getting everything organized as a way to try and calm her anxiety.
“Are you ready for dinner?” I asked about an hour after we returned. She nodded so we went in to the hall and knocked on Kim and Nate’s door. We headed down to the restaurant and sat down to enjoy dinner.
“Are you starting to get anxious?” Kim asked.
“A little bit. I don’t imagine I’ll be able to sleep tonight. Too much excitement and to be honest, I’m ready to be back in my own bed. We weren’t in London long before we left, I miss my bed and my pillows. My insomnia has been terrible because of the time changes we’ve gone through. I was worried I would get sick and not make it here.”
“We could head back tomorrow night if you wanted?” Nate said.
“I don’t want you to cut short your vacation because of my sleep habits.”
“I’d be fine with it too. This trip to Paris is different than normal,” Kim said. “And if we go back tomorrow you can get a night in your own bed and we can be home for the boys footie match Sunday morning.” Due to our trip they would miss one of the twins’ games. I had felt bad but they swore it was okay.
“I like the idea of sleep in our own bed on our wedding night,” I said looking at Annie. “Let’s plan to catch the afternoon train back tomorrow. We can have dinner together in London and maybe get up to go watch the boys play.”
“Okay. I feel terrible. But I am so ready for our bed.”
“Then it’s settled,” I said. “We will head back tomorrow. Have dinner together in London and then sleep our first night as man and wife in our own bed.” I had ordered a bottle of champagne for us to celebrate tonight. “A toast. To my soon-to-be bride, I am so grateful to have you in my life as the person beside me. In a few short hours we will start the rest of our lives together. To say that I feel like the luckiest man in the world is an understatement. My love for you has no words to accurately describe it. And to the two people we’ve chosen to have stand beside us tomorrow, thank you for standing beside us through our lives. Through the good and the bad. Through the tough moments and the happy moments. We are blessed beyond measure to count you as not just our friends, but our family.” I raised my glass and there was the sound of our four glasses clinking together. We each took a drink before Annie leaned in to me.
“I love you,” she whispered.
“And I love you.” Our dinner was quick this evening. We knew that we would only get an extended nap tonight instead of regular sleep so that we could be ready for our wedding at sunrise. We headed to our hotel rooms after dinner. Annie and I quickly showered before crawling in bed. I was positive that I’d only just closed my eyes when I heard the Harry Potter music fill the room again. Today I didn’t fight her for the crazy music or have to tell her to shut off her alarm and get out of bed. It was 3:30 and she happily jumped out of bed. She turned a few lights on in the bedroom and began to blow dry the remaining water out of her hair. It was about 4:00 when the photographer arrived and started to talk to us about the plan for the morning and take pictures of us getting ready with each other. At about 4:30 Kim and Nate arrived to our suite with croissants and coffee.
I watched as Kim helped Annie with her hair. I was always fascinated by her as she got ready in the morning. Her makeup, her hair and the way she put her clothes on. I loved waking up in the morning when she needed to get ready before me and just watching. Today, I watched from the bedroom of the suite in my black suit pants and a white dress shirt that wasn’t completely buttoned. I had a tie and a jacket hanging up waiting for the last moment to get ready. As the girls got closer to being done the photographers had us wait in the living room area of the suite so that they could get photographs of Kim helping Annie in her dress.
“Are you ready for this?” Nate asked.
“More than I can even explain.”
“That’s good. It’s about damn time you two settle down.” I laughed a little. Nate had been on Team Get Married, since the second I put the ring on Annie’s finger. They wanted another married couple in our group of friends. “I have to say that I’m happy that Belle has you.” I loved that after all this time he still called her Belle, his twisted version of a Disney Princess. “She has been through a lot. You could’ve walked away several times and you didn’t.”
“There was no way I was ever going to leave her side.”
“I’ve known that all along. When you two found out that she couldn’t have kids you could’ve left, admittedly some of our friends were worried that you might. But I told them that I knew you and that you would never leave her. Kids or no kids you were in for the long haul with her.”
“It didn’t change the fact that I loved her and wanted to spend forever with her.”
“It would’ve for a lesser man. You would’ve made a wonderful father.”
“She would’ve been an incredible mother. But there was a different plan for us.”
“I was so proud of how you handled that. I knew you were scared.”
“I was lucky to have you when we went through that. None of my mates had gone through anything even close. I don’t know that I would’ve been able to be strong for her if you hadn’t been there for me, Nate. I’ll never be able to show how much I appreciate that.” It had been a terrible time for us. Doctors appointments after doctors appointments. She hadn’t been feeling well and they were doing every sort of test out there. She’d always known she had health complications, but those tests confirmed her biggest fear, she would struggle to get pregnant and the likelihood of her conceiving and carrying a child to term were slim and potentially risky. It wasn’t a risk the doctors suggested, especially considering it could increase the frequency of her migraines and that she would be unable to take the medication that managed her depression and anxiety. Her doctors didn’t want her off of that medication because the likely outcome would cause her depression to worsen. She had shut down after the final doctor told her the same thing all of the others had, she should look in to alternative methods if she wanted to become a mother. Tried to push me away. Told me to find someone else. She knew that I’d always wanted kids and believed that I could be a great father. She went as far as to try and give me her engagement ring back.
One of the nights her depression got the best of her and she kicked me out of our house. I headed to O’Brien’s for a pint. I knew that Paddy and Catherine had struggled to get pregnant and looked at Frankie as a miracle baby, I thought maybe he had some words of advice for me, something I could say to her that would prove that it was her I wanted, not her ability to have children. I’d gotten there to find Paddy had the night off and there was Nate behind the bar. He had known what was going on, Annie kept nothing from he and Kim. He could tell that I was struggling. We sat together that night until the sun came up. Nate talked me through everything he could. He knew Annie better than most people. He also knew how crazy about her I was. Baby or not, I wanted to spend forever with her. I went back to our house and crawled in bed next to her. That was the morning I told her that we would do everything in our power to get whatever result we wanted. If she wanted to try that I would be there for her through everything despite the risks that our doctors had told us about. If she wanted to adopt or find a surrogate, then we would go through those options. I told her that I would do whatever it took to give her the life that she wanted. And if the end result was that we decided we were completely happy and content as just a family of two, then we would be a family of two.
We contemplated it for a long time. We researched every option available for us and every possible outcome of our lives. Then one summer night while laying in the grass staring at the stars she told me that she wanted to be the best aunt and uncle the world had ever seen. That she had grown to like our life and the fact that we could decide in the morning to go anywhere in the world and be there by the time we went to bed. She started insisting we travel more to seem her family, thus the house there. And that we needed to head up north to see my parents and step-siblings for baby love from my family. She was so graceful in that process, listening to friends talk about how they were experiencing pregnancy and small children, often times when the person did not know the struggle we had gone through. She’d been questioned constantly about why she hadn’t started a family. Reminded about her biological clock. And had accidentally stumbled upon a post on her blog by an overzealous fan who called her selfish for denying me the right to be a father because she was too old to have children. A normal person would have cracked under that pressure, she thrived. She did everything she could to improve the quality of lives of children around the world. She worked with charities that took care of sick and orphaned children, she’d even considered starting her own a few times. She showed how big her heart was for the children in her life and the world. She amazed me every day.
“I still owe you for everything from that point in our life. I wouldn’t have known how to get through to her if you hadn’t been there to help me.”
“Nah, you make her happy. And you are amazing with my kids. You may not have been able to have any of your own but most days mine like you more than they like me. I will always be here for you mate. You’ve been there for me through some of the crazy shit Kim and I have dealt with. Considering you were at the birth of my daughter while I was stuck in traffic. I’d say we are even.” Kim had gone in to labor a few weeks early with Evelyn. Nate had been in Cambridge that day for meetings with his father. Kim had been over having lunch with Annie when she realized she needed to hurry to the hospital. Annie and I were by Kim’s side as Evelyn entered the world and Nate rushed in just as his little girl took her first cry. It was incredible to be with them in that moment. “Kim and I love you both and we are both thankful that you are who is going to take care of Belle now.”
“I couldn't imagine life without her.”
I started to get anxious. This was it. Today was the day. This woman who had stolen my heart from the first time I saw her in that little bookshop. The woman who made my life mean more than I ever thought it could. The woman who supported me through the ups and downs of my personal life and my career. The woman who changed my life. I’d been positive I had my vows written but as I sat here thinking about just how important she had been to me I started to question if what I had written was enough. She deserved everything in the world. I heard the door creak open and looked up. There standing in front of me was the woman that was about to become my wife. I stood slowly and walked over to her. I could hear the click of the cameras from the photographers as I approached her.
“You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” I said quietly. She looked like she was going to cry as I bent down to kiss her. “I love you.”
“I love you. Thank you for this.”
“Are we ready to go?” Nate asked.
“Yeah, let me put my tie on,” I replied. I’d put my jacket on but the shirt was still unbuttoned and the tie still hanging on the hanger.
“No, leave the tie off,” Annie interjected. The smile on her face was huge. “You look like yourself right now. Shirt unbuttoned a little too far. A few tattoos peaking through the white shirt. This is the you I fell in love with. This is the you I want to marry.”
“Alright then, no tie. Let’s go.” We grabbed the flowers and Annie’s leather jacket. She wanted to have it incase it was cold out. We had a limo waiting outside of the hotel that drove us through the early morning streets of Paris. We arrived as it was still dark. The car was going to wait for us so that it could then drive us through the city to the places we wanted photographs. We walked through the plaza to the point where we had decided to get married. We waited until the tip of the sun started to peak over the horizon.
“Are you two ready?” Luca asked. He was our officiant today. His wife, Alyssandra, was our photographer. She and Annie had been communicating via phone and email for a few weeks to plan this.
“We are,” we replied in unison. She reached for my hand and squeezed it in hers. Her smile was so beautiful and made my stomach fill with butterflies. The tiny bit of sun illuminated her in a way that made her sparkle.
“Annie and Harry, today you’ve decided to celebrate one of the most beautiful moments life gives us. To give recognition to the beauty of love and join together in vows of marriage. The bond of marriage is sacred and has been celebrated between lovers for eternity. Your love story is a beautiful one.” We had met Alyssandra and Luca during one of our extended trips here for work. Annie and Aly bonded over photography. So having them photograph our wedding was a special moment. “I remember the first time you both told the story. You were able to finish each other’s sentences about the moments. Most couples argue about who fell in love first but you both agree. The moment you fell in love was a shared moment. And the moment you both realized that you wanted to spend forever with each other was here, in this city, just as the sun started to peak above the horizon.”
“You told me that you’d never seen a sight so beautiful as my eyes with the early morning sun reflecting in them,” she said. I could see the tears start to form in her eyes.
“And you told me that nothing made you feel safer than your hand in mine,” I responded.
“Your love story is one for the ages. And today, you build upon that story and commit to sharing your lives with each other for the rest of time. You have each prepared words to share with each other today. Which of you would like to go first?” Luca asked.
“I would,” Annie replied confidently. I was surprised, she normally encouraged me to be mushy before she was.
“Go ahead, love,” I said.
“Nearly eight years ago I made the biggest decision I’d ever made in my life. I had decided to sell most of my belongings and move to a country that I’d never set foot in. I was lost in my life. I struggled to find the happiness that I believed I deserved. I wanted to have an adventure. I knew that it was possible that I would crash and burn in a matter of months and head back home with my tail between my legs. But I also knew that it was possible that this adventure would bring me the life I knew was out there and a love that consumed me in a way I’d never experienced.” She took a deep breath. “The morning I left home I cried as I said goodbye to my parents. I was terrified. And I wasn’t sure whether I was more scared of failing or getting to London and realizing that I could find happiness. I had my constant companion by my side as I made this huge life change.”
She looked to Kim and smiled. I saw Kim wipe a tear from her eye. These two women had made a decision that some of the bravest men and women would not have made. They made the decision to chase happiness in a manner that was unconventional. They were each other’s partner-in-crime through this adventure.
“I managed to find my way through this new city, but it hadn’t brought me the love I’d hoped it would. I questioned if I’d made the wrong decision. If somewhere back in Iowa my soulmate was waiting for me to come home. And then one day the bell rang on the door to a little bookshop and my world changed. You walked in to my world and gave it a new axis to spin on. You challenged me. And when I tried to run, you followed. You were persistent and knew what you wanted. You also seemed to know what I was too scared to realize. That falling in love with you would be the consuming love I’d dreamed I’d find when I boarded that plane.
“You have shown me a world I didn’t know was out there. A love I didn’t dream possible. You’ve believed in me every step of the way and encouraged me to step out of my comfort zone.” She was beginning to cry. I reached up and with my thumb brushed off her tears. “You made me believe in love. You made me believe in myself. You changed my life.” She had changed mine as well. My life wouldn’t be the same if she hadn’t been part of it. And here she was, in this beautiful dress, with the sun shining upon her looking like an angel. “You are the best thing that has ever happened to me.
“Harry, when you proposed to me nearly seven years ago I imagined a life for us that was different from where we are today. But life had a different plan for us. And you took everything about that in stride. You were my rock when I went through the hardest times in my life. You were the person to hold my hand when I needed reassurance. You were my shoulder to cry upon. When the idea we had for life changed, your love for me only grew stronger. I love the life we have together because I live every day of it with you. I have seen the most beautiful places in the world and they mean so much to me because we did it all together. The partnership we have built is the one thing in life I’m most proud of. We truly are equals in this relationship. I look forward to growing old with you and growing more in love with you each and every day of our life. Today, I become Mrs. Ann Marie Styles and I will carry that name with me as a badge of honor. You loved me enough to share your life, your heart and your name with me. There is nothing in this world that means more to me than your love. To be able to show the world what you mean to me by bearing your name is a feeling that words can’t describe. Harry Edward Styles, I’ve loved you since the moment I met you and I will love you until my final breath. To be your wife is an honor beyond words. To be your partner is a gift from the heavens. To be your lover, well that’s just fucking awesome.”
She had been so serious and so well spoken until that last line. I could help but laugh, which was perfect because the tears were now freely flowing down my cheeks. She reached with her free hand to wipe my tears. She had perfect timing in the way she spoke and wrote. She got me to the point of tears so often in her writing, only to throw a one liner in to the story that would make me laugh and blush while beaming with pride over the amazing and intelligent woman I was about to call my wife.
“H, I’m gonna love you forever. Don’t forget that.”
“I never will,” I replied. There was no way I would forget that. She stood in front of me, this enigma of a woman. Spunky and spirited while being still being classy. It wasn’t just me that had changed her life, she had changed mine. I felt so lucky that she had.
“Harry, I apologize that you have to follow that one up,” Luca said laughing.
“It’s okay. I’m used to having to follow her places, mostly because she gets lost.” Everyone giggled a bit. Now was the time. I took a deep breath as I gathered my thoughts and tried to pull from memory the vows I had written.

Notes