Follow Your Heart

“Fuck!”

Gemma could hear Nicky groaning from her room when she walked in. Curious about what had her best friend swearing and grumbling, she climbed the stairs to see what was going on. She was not prepared for what she saw when she peeked into Nichole’s room. Nichole was sprawled on her bed in her panties and bra and her wardrobe was thrown open and she had dresses and shoes all over the place.

“Are you ok?”

“I hate your brother…HATE HIM.” Gemma stepped carefully over everything all over the floor and sat on the bed.

“Do you? Really?” Nichole looked up and Gemma could see how distressed she was, “What’s going on?”

“XFactor…I don’t have anything to wear…nothing that says, ‘Girlfriend of Harry Styles’ anyway.”

“Well…then we go shopping. We’ll make a day of it. Go get a new dress, new shoes, and accessories. It’ll be fun.” Nichole sat up, putting her face in her hands,

“Sounds very expensive, Gem…”

“Probably, but it won’t be an issue. I’ll call Harry right now.” Nichole lifted her head up quickly and shouted,

“NO! Don’t you dare call him!”

“Why?” Gemma was puzzled but Nichole was in a full on panic, “What’s wrong with calling him?”

“I don’t want him to pay for this, Gem…oh my god.” Gemma couldn’t stop herself from laughing at her. “What is so funny?”

“One…of course he’s going to pay for it, you spoon. You are doing this for him and you want to look good. This is your first official appearance together. He’d feel awful if you went bankrupt for it. Two…he’d kill me if I didn’t tell him.”

“Three…I’m his employee and he pays me too much as it is. Jeff made that perfectly clear last week in LA. Is he always such a jackass, by the way?”

“Whatever, I’m calling him. And yes, Jeff is a knob until you get to know him, and he gets to know you. He’s very protective of Harry, always has been.”

“Great.” She threw herself down on the bed as Gemma walked out of the room to call her brother.

~*~*~*~

“Nothing like hearing your girl is having a meltdown and coming over to find her in her knickers.”
Nichole whirled around and from where she was hanging up all the dresses she had tried on and thrown about, to find Harry standing in the doorway, smirking at her with his dimples on full display.

“Oh shut up.” He stepped into the room, shutting the door with a soft click, and started picking up the dresses and handing them to her. They worked silently and put everything back in order.

“Come here.” He said, pulling her towards the bed and into a cuddle. He ran his hands over her shoulder lightly, trying to get her to relax. “Talk to me.”

“It’s just…you know…” she stumbled over her words trying to get out the jumble of things running through her head. “I work for you…you pay for my phone; you gave me a car…”

“I loaned you a car to use to do the work you do for me. And the phone is also for the work you do for me.” Nichole sighed and rolled her eyes at him, “You know, I’m not going to say it’s not important. Because I know it is. But, let me do this for you, Nichole.”

“Harry, Jeff has already implied that you pay me too much and that I’m basically with you for the money.”

“Listen to me for a minute. I know you don’t care about money. Isn’t that enough? Jeff is very skeptical of anyone he doesn’t know, but he will come around. I promise you.” Nichole sighed, knowing she was fighting a losing battle with him. “I love that you are so independent, and I know my life is crazy to adjust to. As much as I love what I do,” he tilted her face up towards his and gently touched his lips to hers and whispered, “None of it means anything to me if I can’t do things for the people I care about. So let me buy you a dress. Ok?”

Nichole sighed and nodded, realizing he was right. It didn’t make her feel any better about it.

Harry was generous and kind and she loved that about him. She just worried how she appeared to others, those on the outside looking in. People close to him that didn’t know her. People like Jeff.

~*~*~*~

“No, absolutely not.”

“Nichole, you are being ridiculous. Take the god damn card.” Harry pressed his credit card into her hand.

“No.” Nichole said, handing it back to him. “Gemma can handle it. I don’t want it.”

“For fuck’s sake, Nichole.” Harry growled loudly and handed the card to Gemma. He was so frustrated with Nichole at by this point he just gave up. They’d argued for two days about her using his card and she would not budge.

Gemma slipped the card into her bag, and said, “Right, there is shopping to do…and you two need to be separated or this shopping trip will be a waste of time, so come on, Nicky.”

Nichole grabbed her jacket and purse and started towards the door.

“Hey…” Harry said grabbing her hand and pulling her back to him, “Come back here.”

Nichole glared at him as he pulled her into his personal space. “What?”

Harry just touched his forehead to hers, holding on to her hips, and said softly, “I love you.”
Nichole just nodded, still unable to speak without sounding angry so she said nothing. Harry just sighed. He felt like he might be pushing her and her going to XFactor was a too much, but he wanted to see her sitting next to his mum and sister…with his family on what was going to be a very emotional night for everyone. He knew he was being selfish, but he needed her there.
“Try to have fun today? Please? For me?”

“I’ll try,” she nodded again. “No promises though.”

“Fair enough.”

~*~*~*~

Harry sat on the sofa watching Pig roll around in front of the fireplace, his mind on Nichole and the hell she was probably putting his sister through at the moment.

“So, when are you bringing your lady around for my approval, Harold?” Harry looked up as his friend set a drink down in front of him. He just shrugged his shoulders and took a sip of the drink.

“Dunno. She’s kind of pissed off with me at the moment.” Nick sat next to him just as Pig jumped up between the two men and made herself comfortable, resting her head on Harry’s lap.

“Jesus, what have you done? Why is she pissed off?”

“Nothing…I sent her shopping for a dress to wear to X Factor. She’s being impossible. I don’t understand why she’s so upset about me buying her a dress. Any other woman would be happy to go shopping. But not my girl…no.” With that, he leaned his head back against the back of sofa, closing his eyes and wishing the last week didn’t happen and that Nichole was smiling and happy to be with him, instead of withdrawn and angry.

“How very sexist of you, Harold. I’m shocked.” Nick couldn’t help but tease his anything but sexist friend before he tried to offer some advice. “Do you realize what a pain in the ass it is to be your friend? Do you have any clue what anyone close to you has to deal with just because we breathe the same air as you? I mean, I saw her pink knickers on the front page of the Sun…”

“Yeah, we heard you talking about it on your show. Thanks for that by the way.”

“Just doing my job. If I didn’t, I would’ve caught hell for favoring you, but because I did, I was exploiting our friendship.That’s the shit I deal with, and I am not sleeping with you….mind, there’s quite the fan base that wishes I was. The whole Louis/Harry/Nick triangle. I could send you some of the fan art that was sent to me. Maybe a couple of fan fics?”

“Fuck…shut up…please.” Harry groaned. “You are my friend and you are meant to be helping me, not making me feel worse.”

“All I’m saying, mate, is that she’s in no win situation right now. She goes with you, and gets hate for using you, or she stays home and gets hate for not supporting you. A lot of people think they want to be in her shoes, but I guarantee that not many are up to the task of being with you. Give her a break. Try to see it from her point of view, for just a minute.”

Harry scratched Pig behind the ears, mulling over what Nick was saying. In his heart he knew that Nichole would do anything to support him. She’d proven that before they even met. He always knew what those he cared about went through, but they always seemed to down play it now. She was still learning how to maneuver through all the insanity while everyone else seemed to take it in stride.

“I’ve been an ass haven’t I, Pig?” She just snorted and jumped down, nudging Nick’s legs until he stood up and went to the door.

“Come on, Harold. We can talk about bringing her over for dinner tomorrow while we take Pig on a pap walk. Her public awaits.”

~*~*~*~

Shopping was every bit as painful as Nichole expected it to be. She tried on more dresses than she could count that was punctuated by an incident at the Versace store when she tried on a dress she thought was perfect only to see a picture of Kendall wearing the same dress posted on the wall. Needless to say, she couldn’t get it off fast enough. She eventually settled on a different Versace gown. It was a simple black, sleeveless gown that would complement Harry’s floral patterned Gucci suit. Once she tried it on, she knew it was the dress, and so did Gemma. She spun in the mirror, looking at the way it fit. Thin straps crisscrossed in the back, holding a simple v neck bodice that gathered at the waist, then draped loosely over her hips. Not too loose, just enough that she would be comfortable and still show her shape.

“It’s perfect, Nicky. He will love it.” Gemma said softly, admiring her friend.

“I hope so, it’s costing him enough.” She muttered as she slipped the dress off and told the sales girl that she would take it.

“Shoes? I saw a pair of cute silver strappy heels that would look amazing…” Nichole rolled her eyes at Gemma. She was done, no more shopping.

“I have a pair of silver heels at home and a bag…I don’t need new ones.”

“Jewelry?” Gemma asked, trying to get some sort of reaction other than annoyance out of Nichole.

“No...I’m good. I have the earrings Nanna gave me. They will be fine.”

“I guess we are done then,” Gemma sighed, “I have my dress already.”

“Good, I’m ready to go home.” Though as the words left her mouth she wasn’t sure if she meant Harry’s, the house she shared with Gemma, or the ranch. She definitely wanted to be out of the store though.

By the time they arrived back home, their home, not Harry’s; Nichole felt the beginnings of another headache. Even though they were successful in finding a dress, she was still stressed over the whole thing. The dress, appearing with him, officially on what was to be their last UK performance before the break. The more she thought about it, the more ill she became. She was so inside her head about it, that it took a moment to register that Gemma was speaking to her.

“Nicky…you need to get it together. And you need to quit being so bitchy, especially to my brother.” Gemma’s voice was tinged with anger that Nichole felt from across the room. In their friendship, they’d disagreed more than once, but Nichole could feel the protective older sister coming out in Gemma’s voice. Something that had never being directed at her before. She looked up at her friend, not sure what to say.

“He loves you…he is trying to do something nice for you and you have been fighting him from the day you met. Look, we all get it. You are independent and don’t need a man. And you don’t want anyone thinking you are using him.We’ve all been there. Me, mum, anyone that he cares about. We all deal with it. You know why? Because we love him.And if you love him, then you need to learn to deal with it too. And stop taking all your crap out on him.”

Nichole sat there, her mouth opening and closing, trying to form some sort of response. But she had nothing to say really. Gemma was right. She was being a complete bitch.

~*~*~*~

Harry shut the door quietly as he stepped into his sister’s house.

“She’s upstairs lying down.” Gemma said as she was heading out the door with Michal, “I think she’s got a headache. She’s feeling guilty, Harry...” Harry ran his fingers through his hair again, feeling his own guilt sitting like a rock in his stomach.

“Why is she feeling guilty? What happened?”

Gemma just looked at him, shrugging her shoulders. “I may have been a bit harsh with her when we got home.”

“Jesus, what did you say to her?”

“Told her she needed to sort her shit out and quit being a bitch.”

“Gem…damnit…” He sighed as he started up the stairs.

~*~*~*~

Nichole was lying on her bed facing away from the door when Harry stepped into her darkened room. She turned her head to see who it was coming in, even though she knew who it had to be. When she turned back to the wall, Harry sighed, slipped off his boots and lay down next to her.

“Are you ok?” he asked softly, draping his arm over her waist. “Gem said you might have a headache.” Nichole’s hand settled over his and their fingers instinctively tangled together. She didn’t say anything for a while, just letting his presence soothe her. They lay there, quietly holding onto each other for the longest time.

“I’m ok,” she whispered finally, turning over and looking into his eyes, “I’m sorry. I was being such a bitch and acting so ungrateful. I’m sorry, baby…”

“Shhh…its ok.” Pulling her closer to him, he said, “I was being selfish and pushing you and I am sorry for that. If you don’t want to do this, it’s ok. Everything has happened so fast for us, and I didn’t stop to think…”

Nichole pushed her nose into his neck, breathing him in, “It’s scary, baby. I have never had people hate me for just being me. I know I shouldn’t care, but I do. And no matter what I do, someone is going to hate me for it. It’s like I can’t win.”

Harry’s heart broke, listening to her tell him all the things that she’d obviously been keeping to herself. She was so determined and secure in her work, that he never stopped to think how she’d be affected by all the craziness of his life. He touched his lips to her hair, whispering, “I’m sorry…I’m so sorry, beautiful.”

“S’not your fault, baby,” she murmured in to his chest. “Just be patient with me, please. I’m trying.”

Harry tilted her head upwards and looked her in the eyes again, “I’m serious, Nicole. If you don’t want to go, then don’t. I’ll understand.”

Nichole just shook her head and said, “No, I’m going. I love you, and I am so proud of you. I want to be there for you. I’m scared, but nothing is going to keep me away.” Then she smiled at him, her eyes twinkling, “Besides…you paid enough for that dress. It’s not going to waste.”

Notes