Between Pretend And Reality

"Y' awake, babe?"

I blink, trying to fight the sleep that stirs in my eyes. My gaze shifts to the window, realizing how much the sky has darkened and that we still have a ways to go before we're back in London.
I turn to Harry, drinking in his profile whilst squinting at him in the dark.

"Yeah, I kind of dosed off a bit," I stifle a yawn, placing a hand over my mouth. "but I'll stay awake to keep you company."

I reach over the console, grabbing hold of his hand. He smiles softly as I lace our fingers together, his eyes never leaving the road. It'd been a long day for both of us, having left London quite early that morning to spend the day in Cheshire with Harry's family. Having not seen Anne, Robin and Gemma for a while, I was excited to catch up with them all. The highlight for Harry however was getting to see Tabitha and Connor, his small niece and nephews. He absolutely adored them, always spoiling them rotten with affection and showering them with one gift or another. The love he had for them was like much like the love a father would have for his own children but it didn't come as a surprise. Everyone who knew Harry Styles knew that he loved fiercely and completely.

" M' not gonna crash" he rasp. "I had a massive cup of coffee before leaving Mum's. Go to sleep if you want."

I give his hand a squeeze.

"I'd rather be up with you,"

Harry hums,still keeping his gaze on the road. Things are dead silent, the radio's turned off and I figure I have to start conversation before I fall asleep once and for all.

"Your mum's pot roast was amazing," I yawned. "And Connor, he's getting so big,"

He grins.

"I know, I remember holdin' him in my arms when he was just a couple days old," he pauses, running his tongue against his bottom lip. "and then I blinked,"

"That's the way it's supposed to go for kids I guess, one day, they're tiny little sweet things and the next they're fully grown and hella obnoxious," I replied.

Harry chuckles.

"Obnoxious or not, any good parent would worship the ground their little one walks on. I know I would,"

His hold tightens on my hand and he goes silent once more. I assume the conversation is over and I close my eyes, hoping to settle back into sleep when he speaks again.

"Have you ever thought about what it would be like?" he questions slowly.

My eyebrows furrow and my eyes fly open.

"About what would be like?"

"You know," Harry drawls, hesitation evident in his voice. "parenthood. Have you ever thought about raising kids of your own?"

The question looms in the air and my breath hitches in my throat. It was no secret that I could be quite the selfish person. Having kids was one of the furthest thoughts from my mind.

"No, not really."

Now, don't get me wrong. I found children to be very cute and enjoyed being around Tabitha and Connor, but I also had many personal goals in mind and was a strong advocate for all types of contraception, making sure to take birth control on a daily basis. Harry and I had been together for over a year and had yet to go condom-less due to my somewhat secretive fear of a surprise pregnancy.

"Not even once?" he questions.

"No, not really," I reply once again.

Harry signs deeply and from the corner of my eye I can see his expression shift.

"But, wouldn't you- wouldn't you wanna have kids, with me?"

The tone in his voice nearly screams desperation and I'm almost afraid I'd hit some kind of nerve.

"Harry, you know I love you very much," I started. "but children, that's a big step yeah?"

I take in a deep breath, feeling that this conversation will lead to an argument but hoping that it won't.

"You don't think I'd be a good dad?" he questions, his tone a bit sharp.

"That's not what I'm trying to say, H," I sighed. "there's not a doubt in my mind that you'd be an amazing father, I just-I just think it's too soon to even think about raising kids."

With that I go silent, gently prying my hand from Harry's grasp and folding my arms across my chest before turning my attention to the dark of night outside my window. I hope he gets the picture that I want the conversation to be over but in typical Styles fashion he has to go and push the envelope.

"That's not just all there is it, is it?" he drawls.

I sigh, defeated, knowing that Harry is once again successful in seeing through me. With other people I could be so guarded, so hard to read, but with him I was as transparent as glass.

"Who are you kidding, H? I'd be a horrible mum, we both know it. "

The corner of his lips curve up into a grin.

"You really think that, yeah?"

He chuckles and my eyebrows furrow.

"Why do you think this is funny?" I question.

""Because, I disagree," he smiles running a hand through his hair. "I think you'd be an excellent mum."

"Yeah?" I ask, a small grin tugging at the corner of my lips.

"Of course. You're a natural with Tabs and Connor. And I could totally see you being my wife and the mother of my children,"

I can feel my cheeks burn, my heart swelling with happiness, my stomach pooling with excited energy. Right then and there I could see it: a cozy home with flowers in a small garden,mail addressed to me in the surrname Styles, Harry's photographs decorating the walls and tiny feet toddling along the hard wood floors. It was a sweet, comforting picture of the future, one that I wouldn't mind peeking at again.

I don't know what to say so I reach over pressing a kiss to his mouth whilst we're stopped at a traffic light.

"I don't want you to feel like I'm pressurin' you or anything," Harry speaks once we've pulled away. "My vision doesn't gave to be yours,"

"But I like your vision," I grin, grabbing hold of his hand. "let's just not plan anything, I want everything to happen naturally,"

He grins.

"It'll all happen. Someday, maybe."

Notes

Hi!!

So sorry this took so long. I've got little one's running around my home again and the weather has been really bad here so my internet has been in and out. I hope this is what you had in mind @LivinLikeLarry!

Who's ready for Friday!! Me!! Me!! Supposedly I get the single on Thursday since I live in the U.S so I'm pretty excited. Hope I like that long though, I've been pretty clumsy with myself lately, don't know what's wrong with me. Guess it's just a sign of the times.

(Insert rimshot. I'm funny, I know.)

Anyway, hope you enjoyed! If anyone else has any request feel free to send them!