Tutor Girl

“How was it?” Her dad asked immediately as Lux walked in the door. What the hell? Did he know? Did he know that she just had her first kiss? Her first make-out? Oh, dear god.

“What?” Lux choked out, looking at him horrified.

“Studying… for that quiz. How did it go?” He clarified, looking at her oddly because of the way that she was staring at him.

A sense of relief flooded her when she realized he in fact had no idea that Louis Tomlinson was just on top of her in his bed, kissing her like his life depended on it.

“Uh… it was good,” she said awkwardly as she walked toward the kitchen. Her mouth was suddenly as dry as the Sahara and she needed something to drink.

“So do you think you and Louis will ace it?” He asked, following her into the kitchen.

“When have I ever not aced a math test?” Lux questioned, turning her head just long enough to give him the eye.

“Right. What about your pupil?” Her father asked as she swung the fridge door open and grabbed a bottle of water.

“He’s… uh… he’s doing better,” she said as she opened the cap and began to chug its contents.

“Slow down, champ,” he laughed as Lux completely downed the bottle.

“Thirsty,” she said breathlessly as she washed down what was left of Louis’ saliva in her mouth.

“I can see that,” her dad chuckled.

Lux quickly tossed the empty bottle in the recycling bin and went back to the fridge to find something to eat.

“When is Louis coming back over?” He asked, making Lux cringe.

“I don’t know. Why?” She asked, looking over at him skeptically.

“I like him. He’s a good kid. He’s not at all how you described him,” he said as he took a seat on one of the stools at the center island counter.

“Dad…” Lux warned, looking over her shoulder, rolling her eyes at him. She knew he was playing at something and she wasn’t sure she liked it.

“What? He’s respectful and nice and he’s a pretty good looking kid, Luxy. Don’t you think?” He asked, trying to hype her up about the boy.

“DAD!” Lux shot at him, realizing then and there that her father was trying to play matchmaker. And wouldn’t it be so perfect for him? His daughter dating a boy who was so similar to him. Her father grew up playing sports and played them all throughout college before he blew out his knee. Having Louis around would give him a chance to relive his glory days, having not been able to experience having a son of his own to share them with. Lux certainly obliged him, of course, over the years. But sports were not her passion and her dad could tell.

“What?” He laughed, looking rather amused by her outburst.

“I am not going to date Louis Tomlinson, if that’s what you’re implying!” Lux told him firmly.

“Why not? I think he’s sweet on you,” he said, smiling blithely at her.

“He is not sweet on me,” she scoffed. Except for the fact that he wanted to kiss her, there have been no other indications that what her father was saying was true.

“You don’t see the way that he looks at you,” her dad told her with a quirk of his eyebrow.

“Dad, stop!” Lux said, feeling uncomfortable with the route their conversation ventured on.

“What?” He laughed again.

“You are my father. You are supposed to ban me from dating until I am thirty, not throw me at the first boy I bring home,” she told him with a light scoff.

“I’m not arranging your marriage for God’s sake. I was just suggesting for you to give the boy a chance,” her dad chuckled light heartedly.

“Dad, no,” she said, shaking her head, shutting the fridge door after losing interest in sating the rumbling in her stomach, because now all she felt was sick.

“You’re so stubborn. Just like your mother,” her father commented, continuing to chuckle.

Lux’s stomach lurched at the mention of her mother. Although she loved hearing her father talk about her, it never failed to catch her off guard when he did.

“You know, your mother and I didn’t get along when we first met,” her dad told her with a wide smile. His eyes were looking out the window, but she knew he wasn’t looking at the landscape. He could see memories of her mother as plain as day in his mind’s eye.

“You never told me that,” Lux said quietly.

“Oh, yeah. She… she hated me. You know, Louis and I – we’re not so different from each other. You’re mother wanted nothing to do with me, until I proved to her that I was exactly who she needed,” her dad told her, making every nerve in her body tingle.

His words tore through her and her eyes were bombarded with tears. Even after seventeen years, the mentioning of the mother she never knew still messed her up. And learning new things about her rocked her in a way she would never forget.

Her mom and dad met in high school – she was a transfer student from Quebec and spoke fluent French, but also knew English as her second language. All Lux knew was that by senior year, the two of them were in love. She never knew the beginning – that her mother completely disregarded her father as a person. And that fact threw Louis’ face into the foreground of her mind. Was she treating Louis just the way her mother treated her father, the man she loved for eight years before her life ended way too soon?

Suddenly all her anger and the pent up grudge she carried against him seemed petty and stupid. Life was too short for things like that. Her mother was proof of that.

Louis kissed her. He wanted to kiss her. Maybe he wasn’t the person she thought he was. Or maybe he changed as a person and no longer was the boy she hated.

“Where did you go?” She heard her dad chuckle.

“Huh? What?” Lux asked, snapping out of the daze she was in.

“You were just off in la-la-land,” her dad laughed.

“I uh, I was just thinking about mom,” she told him, her word holding an inkling of truth.

“You know, she would be so proud of you. You’ve turned into such a beautiful person, inside and out,” her father said with a fond smile on his face.

“I wish I had a chance to be with her,” Lux said, feeling the hole in her heart that she held for her mother.

“I wish that too, baby,” he told her as a wave of sadness washed over his features.

“I’m… I’m going to go to bed. I need my rest so I can be assured to get an ‘A’ on that trig test,” Lux told him, trying to bring the subject back to what they were previously talking about.

“Right,” he said, giving her a nod. Lux walked over and kissed his cheek.

“I love you, old man,” she told him whole-heartedly.

“Love you too, Luxy,” her dad said before she walked off to her room.

Lux felt uneasy walking through the double doors of the high school the next morning. She was awake the night before, longer than she cared to admit, thinking about Louis and the kiss and what it all meant. She analyzed every single second of it she could remember. She waited a long time for her first kiss – seventeen years to be exact – and she came to the conclusion that it indeed was everything she hoped a first kiss would be. Spontaneous and exciting. And somehow, just right.

After waking up from a rather pleasant dream about Louis, Lux realized she was beginning to develop feelings for him. And that fact scared the hell out of her. What was she supposed to do when she saw him? For seventeen years she held it all together, but last night was about to tear her apart. And she couldn’t conclude if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

She was hyper-aware of everything around her as she stood by her locker. You know, just in case Louis decided to sneak up on her. She wanted to be prepared. But of course nothing could prepare her for the fire that blazed inside of her when she did finally lay eyes on him. He strolled down the hallway with his buddies flanking him, laughing with them about something she didn’t have the chance of overhearing. His smile had never been so alluring to her in her life. Was there magic in his kiss or something to suddenly make her feel this way? Was he magical? Was he a wizard?

Jesus Christ. He wasn’t Harry Potter. She needed to get a grip.

Lux prayed her sleuthing skills were on their ‘A’ game because she was lurking the hell out of him by her locker and she didn’t need anyone to be of witness to that.

“Take a breath, girl,” she heard Tyler’s voice next to her and it caused her to jump.

“Huh? What?” Lux asked startled, trying to act casual, but failed.

“Are you trying to will his clothes away with the power of your mind?” He chuckled, looking at her amusingly.

“What?” Lux snapped, furrowing her brow at him.

“You’re completely staring at your sexy little tutee. I caught you,” Tyler snickered.

“I was not,” Lux scoffed, digging through her backpack to take out the books she didn’t need during first period.

“Girl, you were like a cheap hooker trolling for a John. And well, Louis was your John of choice,” he said, laughing at his own metaphor.

“You’re disgusting. I was not,” she said, blushing like nobody’s business.

“Lie to me some more,” Tyler said, heightening his eyebrows and pursing his lips together as he looked at her.

“Tyler, seriously. Shut your mouth,” Lux said, eyeing him darkly.

“Ooh, girl. Mmm, Louis Tomlinson has infiltrated your mind. Lord, have mercy,” he said in an over-the-top flamboyant manner.

“God. Seriously. Shut up,” Lux said, looking around, hoping to God nobody heard him.

“You totally have the hots for him don’t you, Lux Lydia Carver?” Tyler threw at her in a hushed tone.

“If I tell you what’s going on, will you keep your mouth shut?” Lux asked him, looking all around them for prying eyes and well-tuned ears.

“Yes! Give me the dirty gossip. Pronto,” he said like an excited little kid. Lux bit her lip, feeling nauseated that she was about to admit to him all of the dirty deets from the previous night.

“He kissed me,” Lux told him quietly.

“He kissed you?” Tyler breathed, shock apparent on his face.

“He kissed me and it freaked me out and I pushed him away…” Lux started rambling.

“You pushed him away!?” Tyler gasped.

“Well, yeah. It’s Louis Tomlinson. And god, it was my first kiss. And I didn’t know what to do. And…” Lux rambled again.

“I wish my first kiss was with Louis Tomlinson,” Tyler said, looking over his shoulder at Louis who was down the hallway a bit.

“I just… I freaked out,” Lux told him as she let out a sigh.

“So you like, pushed him away? What did he do?” Tyler asked, hungry for more information.

“He – I don’t know. I asked him why he kissed me and he said because he wanted to,” she explained with a shrug of her shoulders.

“Oh my god,” Tyler gasped, swooning over her confession.

“And then he said something like ‘are you going to freak out if I kiss you again’,” she continued.

“He kissed you again!?” Tyler exclaimed, perking up at the information.

“We – uh, we kind of made out… in his bed,” she told him as she bit at her lip, catching a quick glimpse of Louis over her shoulder.

“YOU MADE OUT IN HIS BED!?” Tyler nearly shouted out.

“Shut the hell up, Tyler,” Lux scolded him.

“Sorry. You made out in his bed!?” He whispered his exclamation.

“Yeah. Until we got caught by his little sister,” she told him.

“You got caught? How cute,” Tyler said, awing over something he shouldn’t have.

“Not cute,” Lux snapped, rolling her eyes.

“What did you do after that? Tell me he touched you. Tell me you touched him,” Tyler said, apparently trying to live vicariously through her.

“I left. I fled the scene. I dipped out as fast as I could,” she told him.

“Oh. No, no, no, honey. You can’t just leave after something like that,” Tyler said, dropping his lower jaw in shock and disapproval.

“I couldn’t stay,” she said appalled.

“So you just left? And you haven’t talked since?” He asked, looking passed her once again.

“No. I haven’t seen him. It was only like 12 hours ago,” she told him, stealthily sneaking her own glance at Louis who was talking and laughing with his friends.

“God, your life is finally getting on track. My little girl is growing up,” Tyler said, hugging her to his chest.

“Getting on track? You say that like my life was a derailment before,” she scoffed, pushing back away from him.

“I wouldn’t say ‘derailment’, but maybe just that your love life wasn’t as ‘full speed head’ as it could have been. But now you have Louis and everything is wonderful,” Tyler said, clapping his hands together.

“I do not have Louis. Nor will I ever have Louis. This was just… I don’t know… a fluke. He’s a horny teenage boy,” Lux explained it away.

“Exactly! Use him to your advantage – not like you’d use him, but you get what I am saying. He’s a horny teenage boy that has needs and you’re an inexperienced high school senior looking to gain a little knowledge in the romantic department,” Tyler suggested, laying it all out for her.

“I don’t even want to know about his needs, okay. I am just fine being inexperienced. The plus side to that is that I don’t have any STD’s and I’m not pregnant,” she pointed out.

“Condoms can prevent both of those. Just sayin’,” he said, the last two words coming out in a sing-song voice.

“Tyler, just stop,” Lux said as the bell blared through the hallway.

“I’ve gotta go,” she told him as she slammed her locker.

“Weigh your options, girl!” Tyler called out to her as she walked away from him.

Walking passed Louis and his friends, Lux told herself to just keep looking forward – to not even look in his direction. But she failed, epically. Her eyes met Louis’ right before she passed and surprisingly she wasn’t disappointed. He smiled right at her and gave her a cute little nod of his head, acknowledging her to everyone who was in the vicinity. Lux smiled as her cheeks blushed immediately. She kept walking, trying to concentrate on her feet so she didn’t do something dumb like trip on thin air. Knowing herself, it was probable.

She had to nearly force the smile off of her face once she sat in her seat waiting for first period to start. But nothing could stop the butterflies that were fluttering all around in stomach. It was becoming a real problem.

For English class, later on that day, Lux made it just in time to not be marked as tardy. Mrs. Mackey gave her a stern look before she took her seat in front of Louis, who was smirking as she walked down the aisle to her desk.

“Cutting it close there, lady,” Louis chuckled as she sat down. She eyed him, but shrugged off his comment, using nonchalance as a defense mechanism.

She tried to ignore his presence behind her, but he was absolutely invading her mind – it couldn’t be helped.

“Hey, psst,” Lux heard from him a little while into the class. She turned her head slightly so Louis knew she heard him.

“Can I come over after school?” He breathed in her ear, which sent a nerve-racking shiver up her spine. She couldn’t answer with words – it would have just come out as a jumbled mess of gibberish, so she just nodded.

“Cool,” he breathed and somehow she could hear the smile spread across his lips.

As soon as Lux walked in the door to her house, she immediately began tidying up, before she caught herself. Why did it matter what her house looked like? Louis had been over plenty of times before. She hated that she suddenly cared what he thought. She hated it more than anything at the moment. No one should go through life worrying about what people thought about them. It gets you absolutely nowhere and it only causes heartache.

The ring of the doorbell pulled her out of her thoughts. That was fast. Louis never got there so fast after school.

Lux pulled the door open to see him leaning against the front porch railing. He looked just – amazing. He was only wearing jeans and a t-shirt, but it worked for him. And it worked well.

“So that essay we have to write for English is pretty much bullshit,” he said, smirking at her.

“It is what it is,” she said with a shrug, going with nonchalance once again.

“I’ve never really been that good with grammar and all of that,” he told her as he walked through the doorway.

“What are you trying to say?” Lux asked, cocking her eyebrow playfully at him.

“I don’t know. Maybe when I’m done writing it, you could give it a proof read?” He asked as he made his way into the dining room, setting his bag on the table.

“I-I guess. Yeah, sure,” she said, shrugging her shoulders.

“Thanks,” he said, looking up at her, giving her a smile that nearly beamed ear-to-ear, and it hurt her in a way that made her feel overwhelmed and elated and sick all at the same time.

“So… h-how do you think you did on the trig test?” Lux asked, painfully aware of the stutter that came out with her words.

“I don’t know. It doesn’t give me much confidence when I look over question one and don’t know what the hell I am doing,” he chuckled. Lux made a face to sympathize with him, knitting her eyebrows together and scrunching up her chin.

“That bad?” She asked.

“I don’t know. I think I may have gotten some, I guess. I don’t think I’m gonna like totally fail,” he said, shrugging his shoulders as he pulled out his trig book.

“Well, I guess maybe we should keep working on it then,” Lux offered, pulling her own book out.

“Yeah, that’s what I was thinking,” he said with another knee-weakening smile. Why was she such a girl sometimes?

“You’ll get it. I have confidence in you, even if you don’t,” she told him as they both took their seats at the table.

“That was probably the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me, Lux,” Louis said, smiling openly at her, giving her a wondrous look. Lux blushed wildly at his words. He noticed and chuckled before he opened his textbook.

“Lux. Lux. What kind of a name is that?” He asked, emphasizing the X at the end of her name.

“Well, it’s my name. That’s what kind of name it is,” she told him as she cocked an eyebrow.

“I am aware of that. How did your parents come up with it?” He asked. Lux couldn’t help but smile at the memory of her father telling her the story of how they came up with her name.

“What?” Louis smiled back at her.

“Uh, just a memory,” she said with a shrug.

“Tell me,” he said, sounding sincere. The way he said it resembled, in her mind, the way he told her ‘kiss me back’ the previous night and it sent a shiver all over her body.

“Uh, well… My parents – my mom and my dad, well they were married for five years before they started trying for a baby. They got married right out of high school, but wanted to wait until after college to start a family,” Lux started her story. Louis was listening contently and it excited her that he would care so much.

“So once they started trying, I guess my mom wasn’t able to get pregnant, so they saw a bunch of pregnancy specialists or whatever. After a while, the doctors just pretty much gave up and told them that it was impossible for my mother to get pregnant. Something to do with her uterus or something. But my mother, being the strong-willed woman she was, never gave up. She was determined to have a baby. And two years later when she finally got pregnant, she was overjoyed. They both were. I was their little miracle baby – an unexpected life. My mother insisted on finding me a name as epic as the journey they went through to create me, so she came up with Lux,” Lux told him as he listened on contently.

“Lux. Like does it have a meaning?” Louis asked.

“I was getting to that,” she told him.

“Oh, sorry,” he chuckled.

“Life unexpected. Lux. L-U-X. It doesn’t really go. But if you go by the syllables it does. Life-Un-eXpected,” she told him.

“That is cool. That is really cool,” Louis said, giving her a genuine smile.

“Yeah. If only the rest of the story was as cool,” Lux said, looking down at her hands.

“I’m sorry,” Louis said quietly, knowing how it ended.

“Yeah,” she said awkwardly.

“S-she died during your birth?” He asked hesitantly, opening it up for her to elaborate.

“Yeah. Her uterus – it was faulty after all. It ruptured just as I was being delivered. My dad said she was able to at least get to see me – to lay eyes on me before she passed out. But she never got to hold me. She was too far gone by the time they got her into surgery,” Lux said sadly, feeling the pain in her heart.

“God, I’m sorry,” Louis said, looking pained as well.

“Yeah,” Lux breathed.

Seconds later, she felt the light squeeze of his hand on her knee and it startled her, but pleased her so much. Unfortunately his hand was gone just as fast as it happened, leaving her to look up into his eyes as she, undoubtedly, gaped at him.

“I’ve uh, I’ve got to use the bathroom,” she stammered, standing up immediately.

“Okay,” he said, looking up at her.

Lux rushed off toward her bedroom, not even caring that she just told him she was headed to the bathroom. She just needed to breathe and she couldn’t do that in his presence. She was doing the opposite of breathing – she was choking. He made her choke on air. But of course, it was in the most amazing way possible.

“Hey, are you okay?” Louis asked, ripping her away from her inner monologue. He was standing in her bedroom doorway as she stopped the steady pacing of her bedroom floor.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine,” she said, waving it off.

“I’m… I’m sorry for bringing up your mum… again,” he told her, looking remorseful.

“No. Seriously. It’s okay,” she said, waving it off.

“You’re a strong person, Lux,” Louis told her and she couldn’t help but fixate her eyes back on him, displayed with more wonder and captivation than she wanted them to display. But she couldn’t help it.

“You don’t have to hide your feelings. You miss your mum. So miss her. Don’t run away from it,” he told her firmly.

“You can’t miss something you’ve never had,” she said somberly.

“Yes, you can. And it’s okay,” he said, stepping toward her.

Lux looked into his eyes – his big blue eyes. Eyes never appealed to her as much until she was looking into his.

“Thanks, Louis,” she breathed.

“For what?” He asked.

“For not being the asshole I always thought you were,” she told him, and he chuckled immediately.

“I’m serious. I had a really bad view of you. I’m glad it has changed,” she elaborated slightly.

“Has it changed?” He asked, quirking an eyebrow at her.

“It has,” she said with a light nod of her head.

“Good,” he said, letting a smile tug up his lips.

Lux wasn’t aware of the fact that he moved closer until he was standing directly in front of her, placing his hand on the side of her face. Her body tensed slightly and Louis acknowledged it with another smile.

“Relax,” he breathed against her lips. Lux took his words into consideration, but she knew no matter what, every time she found herself in this position, whether present or future, she would never be able to relax. Not at first anyway.

It felt like an entire lifetime was lived in those few moments. The anticipation was killing her.

“Louis…” Lux breathed as all the nerves in her body violently twisted.

“Shh,” he hushed her before pressing his lips against hers.

Her insides immediately disintegrated into mush. The touch of his hand on her face mixed with the feel of his lips on hers was enough to break her. Louis’ other hand attached to her hip, pulling her closer to his body. And she was lost. She was completely lost in him. Their tongues battled one another like a lover’s quarrel – except they weren’t lovers. They weren’t anything. They were just them – Louis and Lux.

By the time Lux felt the back of her knees meet with the side of her mattress, they were already falling against it – Louis on top of her. And she remembered giggling at the silliness of falling into a heap on her bed. And Louis was smiling too. And it was all falling into place. They were happy and carefree. And Lux had his hands intertwined with hers and his lips were back on hers.

And it was fun.

Lux pulled away after a while, needing to catch her breath. Louis was intoxicating and she was drowning in him. He wasn’t done though. His lips trailed across her jaw, leaving heated kisses down the length of her neck. And every part of her body tingled for him. Every kiss of his lips was like an electrical charge.

Along with his lips exploring, his hand also began blazing their own trail – from her hips, up the length of her side and then back down again, before it worked its way underneath the fabric of her shirt. Lux’s stomach muscles contorted and contracted at the gentle caress of his fingertips on her skin. And she didn’t know what her brain should concentrate on – the feel of his lips on her neck or the fact that she was being ‘felt up’ for the first time. It was all making her brain a jumbled mess.

Louis’ lips found their way back to hers, capturing them, which she was kind of grateful for. It gave her a distraction from her own mind. That was until she felt his fingertips run along the skin right below the underwire of her bra. His movements were getting riskier and riskier and she decided to let herself just go with it. She wasn’t going to protest it. She wanted him to touch her – probably more than he wanted to touch her.

“Mmm,” she involuntarily moaned through his kisses.

“Mm-hmm,” he answered with his own moan.

Lux felt the creep of a blush on her cheeks, but made sure not to let it ‘derail’ the progress she was making in her quest to fool around.

It didn’t take long before she felt Louis’ hand work its way over her breast, above her bra. For a little while, he let it just rest their nicely, before he began delicately caressing it. Lux loved it. She loved every second of it. She loved the way he was touching her and kissing her and she silently hoped it would never stop.

But her life wasn’t perfect.

Just as Louis worked up the nerve to go under the bra and get a good grip on her breast, Lux heard the front door close with a damning thud.

“Shit! My dad,” Lux breathed, pushing Louis off of her.

“He’s home?” He asked, looking back at her opened bedroom doorway.

“Yes! Get up!” Lux said in a hushed tone. Louis scrambled off of the bed in a daze.

“Go… go to the bathroom. Pretend like you’re just coming out. Act natural,” she coached him.

“Okay,” he said and slipped out of her room quickly.

“Luxy?” She heard her dad call out.

She quickly straightened out her clothing and her hair before she darted down the hallway to meet up with her dad.

“Hey, Dad,” she said, trying to act as naturally as possible, when she felt all guilty inside.

“Hey, baby,” he said, kissing her on the cheek as she passed by him to go sit back down at the kitchen table.

“Oh, is Louis here?” Her dad asked, eyeing the extra backpack and books that lay open on the table.

“Uh, yeah. I think he’s in the bathroom or something,” she said nervously.

“Oh, hey, Mr. Carver,” Louis said nonchalantly as he walked up behind them.

“Louis, my man,” her dad said, shaking his hand quickly. Lux rolled her eyes at the little display of manhood.

“Good to see you, sir,” Louis said, smiling at him.

“You too. You staying for dinner?” Her dad asked.

“If Lux’ll have me,” Louis said, looking over at her. Was there some sort of double meaning in that loaded statement?

“Luxy?” Her dad asked, quirking his eyebrow at her. And it spoke volumes. She could hear his words plain as day: give him a chance.

“Yeah, yeah. Sure, whatever,” she said, waving it off.

“Hey, you could be a little nicer, miss thang,” her dad said, nudging her with his finger.

“Why yes – Louis? Would you like to stay for dinner? I don’t know what my father will be making, but I am sure it will be good,” Lux said sarcastically, smiling and batted her eyelashes playfully at the both of them.

“I think I liked it better the first time,” Louis snickered.

“What am I going to do with you?” Her dad said, shaking his head before heading over toward the kitchen.

Louis sat down in his seat and looked over at Lux. A smile ravaged his lips that was so contagious, she couldn’t help but smile back.

She and Louis Tomlinson had a secret. And it was a good one.

Notes