Fearless
Prologue
November 5, 2010
Rosie Smith loved wandering. She found it exhilarating. When things got hard and stressful, she'd wander around Doncaster's downtown streets at night to calm herself down. It was something she'd enjoyed since she was little. It was time to clear her head. She always had a thousand thoughts and memories going through her head. She remembered everything crystal clear, which made everything hurt so much more.
Today was no exception. The weight of life was getting too heavy for her fifteen year old brain. She was breaking down little by little and she hated it. It had been years since she'd had a meltdown, the last one she remembered was when she was thirteen. Back then, the stress seemed to be unbearable, but comparing to now, it was as tangible as the wind nipping at her cheeks. Now, she was alone, worthless and not good enough.It was only a few months ago when everything was okay. She had her family intact, she had friends, her grades were at an all-time high and she had a passion that she was commended for. Now? It seemed like that'd never happened.
On July 10th, she walked out the door at 3:50 in the morning to go to the train station with her best friend. Her best friend was special to her. He had tolerated her when her own parents didn't. He had calmed her down since the tender age of five and she appreciated him to the moon and back. She knew that as a human being, it's perfectly normal to be attached to someone; whether it be, they grew up with you or they helped you along the journey of life. But she knew that being too dependent on someone like her best friend, could become an issue. Growing up, she just never thought it would go that far though. She never believed in her wildest dreams that he would do this to her. Rosie was normally prepared for this sort of thing. She was used to the unexpected, especially growing up with boys. But she was never prepared for betrayal. She was never prepared to potentially ship her own best friend away from her for years.
Rosie knew that everyone had that one person: that one friend that was there by your side through it all, who you felt you needed to protect. That one person who made you laughed until you cried or screamed at until your voice gave out. That one person who you didn't realize brought out the best in you until they left. Louis Tomlinson was her one person.
But what if you didn't realize how dependent you were on a person until they were gone?
Louis Tomlinson had been like a guardian angel to her; he had protected her from danger, foes and heartache. He had been there for her when his friends picked on her because she wanted to play football with them rather than sit and watch or when she messed up on her x-Factor boot camp audition with a girl called Cher. He had yelled and screamed when she didn't get through to the live show and cried when he had to leave her.
She had never really thoroughly thought through anything he did or anything he said; everything was too natural for her to do so. Rosie only started to think of things that he used to do when he was gone. She expected to be woken up for school in the early hours of a September day with her best friend rolling on her squishing her to death and she expected a lame pun to get her out of bed. She expected him to complain about her clothes being on the floor and how he could've tripped on them when sneaking in through her balcony. She expected to have him looking at everything and giving his two cents on things that he's seen for years.
But when he left, it was quiet. In fact, it was silent. She didn't like it, she hated it. She asked herself: how do you get used to something gone when it was always there before? The sad part is, is that she still expects him to be there tomorrow, or the next day or the day after and she's always disappointed when she finds out he isn't.
Rosie walked down a narrow sidewalk leading down to her school. It was ironic, that she'd be walking to the one place she felt the most unsafe, but it was far away from chaotic home. She thought of Louis and how many happy memories they shared at this school.
She remembered the day where he woke her up before the sun, poking her side and flicking her nose. She remembered that when she opened her eyes, annoyed, she had Louis' face close to her's giving her yet another chance to memorize every crease in his face and every shade in his eyes. She remembered the lame joke he told her to get the anger out of her eyes and how happy he looked when he exclaimed that today was their big chance to make it big together.
She remembered her mum mocking Louis for not using the front door. She remembered saying to her nagging sister, 'definitely intimidated by a twelve year old' after she threatened to chop off Rosie's hair whilst sleeping. She remembered the train ride there with Louis' leg constantly touching hers to make sure she was there. She remembered the twinkle in his eye when Simon Cowell commented so positively on her voice and how 'she has something people don't'. She remembered his death glare when one of his brand new band members hit on her by saying the corniest chat up line and his smile when she turned him down. And she most definitely remembered helping Louis with the silly little pranks he did whilst in the same dorm as her in the hotel.
Louis had an act of mischief, ever since they first met. He loved to get in trouble and get his hands dirty. They were both raised in a very posh environment, it was fun to rebel and see adults gasp in mortification. He had found joy in that, he always joked that he took people's breaths away. Something she didn't understand, however, was his need of climbing up things. It took her a while to stop questioning it. Though, that took dedication. Traveling in the middle of the night, a block away, in the chilly and rainy Doncaster weather just to climb up a two story house for a girl would make anyone happy.
Rosie was happy when she was with him; it made her completely oblivious to things around her and how she acted. She felt normal and safe when she was with him, like there were no harm or dangers in the world. She always felt electric when she had him by her side. But the spark was dimming: she hadn't seen him or talked to him since she and her family saw him step on the train that took him away from her. She thought that her own spark was actually the light of his eyes rather than hers. As selfish as it seemed, Rosie regretted letting him go just so she could be happy and safe again.
She always got mad thinking about how she had always put him first and he never gave her a second thought. She should be resentful of him, just forgetting about her and dumping her like the trash she feels like. But she can't, she can't be angry towards her lovable LouBear.
She stood outside of her school gates with her hands in her pockets and her back facing an empty field. It was obvious that it had just rained, it made everything more relaxing as the smell of drying glass filled her nostrils. She saw a slight shadow leaving the building when she heard a twig being snapped behind her.
"What are you doing here?" a voice snarled.
Rosie's eyes widened and her muscles tensed. After a moment, she took a silent breath and counted to ten. People hadn't been the best to her since she came back from her audition in the judge's houses. They had somehow found out that she auditioned before it had aired and took the piss out of her for not getting through; saying the most awful things and kicking her while she was down. It had been two months into the school year and even though she hated the word, she had been bullied in every way, shape and form: emotionally, verbally and physically. The worst part about it was that no one really said anything about it. There had been one friend that stuck by her after Louis left, Abigail, who would stick up for her when they were in class together but since she was a year older, it was hard to keep in touch.
Rosie turned around to face the people who loved making her life a hell when she realised that she was seriously outnumbered. They're had to be ten people gathered around her. Her breathing sped up slightly. This had never happened before. It usually was one or two people in the corridors who shoved her or gave her stares but this time, she couldn't ignore them. She slowly backed away from the gang when she collided with a fence.
The person in front who seemed to hate her the most was the Draco to her Hermione. Casey Willes and her had never gotten along, and ever since Casey joined the boys rugby team, Rosie stood clear of her. She was the stereotypical bully and unfortunately, Rosie was her new target.
"Still obsessing over pretty boy, retard?" Casey hissed.
She heard rustling behind the fence, but she was too tense to turn around. "Look, I don't mean any harm, I was just leaving--"
Rosie was suddenly tugged by her hair to the field where the group was. Her shoes slipped under the wet grass, making her fall to her knees. The sharp pain in her head multiplied as she fell. Casey dragged her further onto the field with the crowd.
"Damn straight, you're leaving." Laughing, Casey stopped by a ditch, dragging Rosie to eye level. Rosie followed her movements, clenching her teeth in pain. Suddenly, Casey lifted her fist and knocked it straight into Rosie's chest. She hunched over in pain with a small cry before she was released and collapsed into the mud, trying to breathe.
"No wonder Louis left: you're pathetic, dumb fucking bitch." And with that, a fatal kick was sent to her stomach making a weak grunt slip through Rosie's muddy lips.
Rosie managed to look up at her attacker, trying her hardest not to look weak. Casey's smirk was egging her to say something, but she didn't. She knew that'd be stupid.
"Andie, make sure she isn't seen, this freak doesn't deserve the spotlight." Casey snarled to a friend behind her.
As Casey walked away, a few of her friends followed her like servants, but Andie and a boy called Jordan stayed behind and picked Rosie up by the arms.
"Please, I'll leave -" Rosie muttered before a small, dainty fist collided with her nose. "Stop, please -" Andie told her to shut up with another brutal force to the cheek. Rosie only wished she hadn't had worn rings because she felt her skin being sliced open again.
Jordan, being the bigger one out of the pair, he took over Rosie's dead weight and threw her into the muddy ditch. Her head slammed into the ground, causing a part of her blonde hair to turn red with blood.
"Filth," Andie spat, as she watched Rosie's eyes roll back into her head. Andie and Jordan both turned towards the way Casey walked when they noticed a man with minimum stubble and fists clenched.
Jordan stepped in front of Andie, over shadowing the stranger. The man laughed, commenting on his gentlemanly actions. His smile faded quickly noticing the girl he saw when things calmed. He raised his eyebrow, looking up slightly at Jordan. "Hitting a girl? Fucking lowlife, you are."
"What did you just say-"
Grabbing his shoulders, the stranger brought his knee to Jordan's stomach before moving to the side and pulling him down to the ground stopping his question mid sentence. The muscular boy on the floor tried to get back up when a foot on his back stopped him.
"Get out of here," the stranger ordered Andie, chuckling at the look on her face. "Don't be stupid."
Once he realised that she wasn't going to leave without her friend, he took his foot off of Jordan, making them both hobble away as quickly as they could.
The stranger ran down the ditch, pulling out his phone. Calling the police, he explained to the woman on the other line that a girl had been attacked. After explaining her injuries he could see, he told them the location and hung up, rising over to the girl. He gently picked her up slightly, leaning her upper body on his lap. He tried getting her to stay awake like what the police told him, but her eyes stayed closed. Her nose was broken for sure, blood and bruised was overpowering her freckles.
"Hey, please wake up," the stranger tried again. "Help is on it's way."
Rosie heard the rush voice as she began to gain consciousness. It was smooth and metallic, almost soothing. She wanted to sleep again, but fought it.
"C'mon, open your eyes. You need to stay awake, love," the voice whispered.
Rosie could've sworn she's heard that voice before. She had a rush of excitement that it could be the one who has saved her a thousand times before. Perhaps it was a sense of hope that he had come back to help her. As ambulance sirens rang in the background, Rosie slowly but surely opened her eyes.
Alas, it wasn't those beautiful electric eyes that she memorized all those years ago when she looked up. They were a brown, brown like desert sand; brown like liquid chocolate. Why were they brown?
The stranger smiled, "Good, good, stay awake c'mon. What's your name?"
Rosie looked beyond the man, looking at the grey sky. It wasn't her best friend, in fact, it wasn't anyone she knew but she appreciated him. Looking back at the stranger, he smiled, mouthing words that her ringing ears couldn't pick up.
This man who had no affliction to her saved her without asking for something in return. Doing it for the right reasons, like a good moral man. Louis wasn't in his spot because he didn't care. He didn't care about her anymore. It was then she finally clued in: Louis wasn't coming back, but she also realized that she didn't care anymore. Because, as her blood stained her hair, she said to herself that Louis Tomlinson was dead to her.
Rosie Smith loved wandering. She found it exhilarating. When things got hard and stressful, she'd wander around Doncaster's downtown streets at night to calm herself down. It was something she'd enjoyed since she was little. It was time to clear her head. She always had a thousand thoughts and memories going through her head. She remembered everything crystal clear, which made everything hurt so much more.
Today was no exception. The weight of life was getting too heavy for her fifteen year old brain. She was breaking down little by little and she hated it. It had been years since she'd had a meltdown, the last one she remembered was when she was thirteen. Back then, the stress seemed to be unbearable, but comparing to now, it was as tangible as the wind nipping at her cheeks. Now, she was alone, worthless and not good enough.It was only a few months ago when everything was okay. She had her family intact, she had friends, her grades were at an all-time high and she had a passion that she was commended for. Now? It seemed like that'd never happened.
On July 10th, she walked out the door at 3:50 in the morning to go to the train station with her best friend. Her best friend was special to her. He had tolerated her when her own parents didn't. He had calmed her down since the tender age of five and she appreciated him to the moon and back. She knew that as a human being, it's perfectly normal to be attached to someone; whether it be, they grew up with you or they helped you along the journey of life. But she knew that being too dependent on someone like her best friend, could become an issue. Growing up, she just never thought it would go that far though. She never believed in her wildest dreams that he would do this to her. Rosie was normally prepared for this sort of thing. She was used to the unexpected, especially growing up with boys. But she was never prepared for betrayal. She was never prepared to potentially ship her own best friend away from her for years.
Rosie knew that everyone had that one person: that one friend that was there by your side through it all, who you felt you needed to protect. That one person who made you laughed until you cried or screamed at until your voice gave out. That one person who you didn't realize brought out the best in you until they left. Louis Tomlinson was her one person.
But what if you didn't realize how dependent you were on a person until they were gone?
Louis Tomlinson had been like a guardian angel to her; he had protected her from danger, foes and heartache. He had been there for her when his friends picked on her because she wanted to play football with them rather than sit and watch or when she messed up on her x-Factor boot camp audition with a girl called Cher. He had yelled and screamed when she didn't get through to the live show and cried when he had to leave her.
She had never really thoroughly thought through anything he did or anything he said; everything was too natural for her to do so. Rosie only started to think of things that he used to do when he was gone. She expected to be woken up for school in the early hours of a September day with her best friend rolling on her squishing her to death and she expected a lame pun to get her out of bed. She expected him to complain about her clothes being on the floor and how he could've tripped on them when sneaking in through her balcony. She expected to have him looking at everything and giving his two cents on things that he's seen for years.
But when he left, it was quiet. In fact, it was silent. She didn't like it, she hated it. She asked herself: how do you get used to something gone when it was always there before? The sad part is, is that she still expects him to be there tomorrow, or the next day or the day after and she's always disappointed when she finds out he isn't.
Rosie walked down a narrow sidewalk leading down to her school. It was ironic, that she'd be walking to the one place she felt the most unsafe, but it was far away from chaotic home. She thought of Louis and how many happy memories they shared at this school.
She remembered the day where he woke her up before the sun, poking her side and flicking her nose. She remembered that when she opened her eyes, annoyed, she had Louis' face close to her's giving her yet another chance to memorize every crease in his face and every shade in his eyes. She remembered the lame joke he told her to get the anger out of her eyes and how happy he looked when he exclaimed that today was their big chance to make it big together.
She remembered her mum mocking Louis for not using the front door. She remembered saying to her nagging sister, 'definitely intimidated by a twelve year old' after she threatened to chop off Rosie's hair whilst sleeping. She remembered the train ride there with Louis' leg constantly touching hers to make sure she was there. She remembered the twinkle in his eye when Simon Cowell commented so positively on her voice and how 'she has something people don't'. She remembered his death glare when one of his brand new band members hit on her by saying the corniest chat up line and his smile when she turned him down. And she most definitely remembered helping Louis with the silly little pranks he did whilst in the same dorm as her in the hotel.
Louis had an act of mischief, ever since they first met. He loved to get in trouble and get his hands dirty. They were both raised in a very posh environment, it was fun to rebel and see adults gasp in mortification. He had found joy in that, he always joked that he took people's breaths away. Something she didn't understand, however, was his need of climbing up things. It took her a while to stop questioning it. Though, that took dedication. Traveling in the middle of the night, a block away, in the chilly and rainy Doncaster weather just to climb up a two story house for a girl would make anyone happy.
Rosie was happy when she was with him; it made her completely oblivious to things around her and how she acted. She felt normal and safe when she was with him, like there were no harm or dangers in the world. She always felt electric when she had him by her side. But the spark was dimming: she hadn't seen him or talked to him since she and her family saw him step on the train that took him away from her. She thought that her own spark was actually the light of his eyes rather than hers. As selfish as it seemed, Rosie regretted letting him go just so she could be happy and safe again.
She always got mad thinking about how she had always put him first and he never gave her a second thought. She should be resentful of him, just forgetting about her and dumping her like the trash she feels like. But she can't, she can't be angry towards her lovable LouBear.
She stood outside of her school gates with her hands in her pockets and her back facing an empty field. It was obvious that it had just rained, it made everything more relaxing as the smell of drying glass filled her nostrils. She saw a slight shadow leaving the building when she heard a twig being snapped behind her.
"What are you doing here?" a voice snarled.
Rosie's eyes widened and her muscles tensed. After a moment, she took a silent breath and counted to ten. People hadn't been the best to her since she came back from her audition in the judge's houses. They had somehow found out that she auditioned before it had aired and took the piss out of her for not getting through; saying the most awful things and kicking her while she was down. It had been two months into the school year and even though she hated the word, she had been bullied in every way, shape and form: emotionally, verbally and physically. The worst part about it was that no one really said anything about it. There had been one friend that stuck by her after Louis left, Abigail, who would stick up for her when they were in class together but since she was a year older, it was hard to keep in touch.
Rosie turned around to face the people who loved making her life a hell when she realised that she was seriously outnumbered. They're had to be ten people gathered around her. Her breathing sped up slightly. This had never happened before. It usually was one or two people in the corridors who shoved her or gave her stares but this time, she couldn't ignore them. She slowly backed away from the gang when she collided with a fence.
The person in front who seemed to hate her the most was the Draco to her Hermione. Casey Willes and her had never gotten along, and ever since Casey joined the boys rugby team, Rosie stood clear of her. She was the stereotypical bully and unfortunately, Rosie was her new target.
"Still obsessing over pretty boy, retard?" Casey hissed.
She heard rustling behind the fence, but she was too tense to turn around. "Look, I don't mean any harm, I was just leaving--"
Rosie was suddenly tugged by her hair to the field where the group was. Her shoes slipped under the wet grass, making her fall to her knees. The sharp pain in her head multiplied as she fell. Casey dragged her further onto the field with the crowd.
"Damn straight, you're leaving." Laughing, Casey stopped by a ditch, dragging Rosie to eye level. Rosie followed her movements, clenching her teeth in pain. Suddenly, Casey lifted her fist and knocked it straight into Rosie's chest. She hunched over in pain with a small cry before she was released and collapsed into the mud, trying to breathe.
"No wonder Louis left: you're pathetic, dumb fucking bitch." And with that, a fatal kick was sent to her stomach making a weak grunt slip through Rosie's muddy lips.
Rosie managed to look up at her attacker, trying her hardest not to look weak. Casey's smirk was egging her to say something, but she didn't. She knew that'd be stupid.
"Andie, make sure she isn't seen, this freak doesn't deserve the spotlight." Casey snarled to a friend behind her.
As Casey walked away, a few of her friends followed her like servants, but Andie and a boy called Jordan stayed behind and picked Rosie up by the arms.
"Please, I'll leave -" Rosie muttered before a small, dainty fist collided with her nose. "Stop, please -" Andie told her to shut up with another brutal force to the cheek. Rosie only wished she hadn't had worn rings because she felt her skin being sliced open again.
Jordan, being the bigger one out of the pair, he took over Rosie's dead weight and threw her into the muddy ditch. Her head slammed into the ground, causing a part of her blonde hair to turn red with blood.
"Filth," Andie spat, as she watched Rosie's eyes roll back into her head. Andie and Jordan both turned towards the way Casey walked when they noticed a man with minimum stubble and fists clenched.
Jordan stepped in front of Andie, over shadowing the stranger. The man laughed, commenting on his gentlemanly actions. His smile faded quickly noticing the girl he saw when things calmed. He raised his eyebrow, looking up slightly at Jordan. "Hitting a girl? Fucking lowlife, you are."
"What did you just say-"
Grabbing his shoulders, the stranger brought his knee to Jordan's stomach before moving to the side and pulling him down to the ground stopping his question mid sentence. The muscular boy on the floor tried to get back up when a foot on his back stopped him.
"Get out of here," the stranger ordered Andie, chuckling at the look on her face. "Don't be stupid."
Once he realised that she wasn't going to leave without her friend, he took his foot off of Jordan, making them both hobble away as quickly as they could.
The stranger ran down the ditch, pulling out his phone. Calling the police, he explained to the woman on the other line that a girl had been attacked. After explaining her injuries he could see, he told them the location and hung up, rising over to the girl. He gently picked her up slightly, leaning her upper body on his lap. He tried getting her to stay awake like what the police told him, but her eyes stayed closed. Her nose was broken for sure, blood and bruised was overpowering her freckles.
"Hey, please wake up," the stranger tried again. "Help is on it's way."
Rosie heard the rush voice as she began to gain consciousness. It was smooth and metallic, almost soothing. She wanted to sleep again, but fought it.
"C'mon, open your eyes. You need to stay awake, love," the voice whispered.
Rosie could've sworn she's heard that voice before. She had a rush of excitement that it could be the one who has saved her a thousand times before. Perhaps it was a sense of hope that he had come back to help her. As ambulance sirens rang in the background, Rosie slowly but surely opened her eyes.
Alas, it wasn't those beautiful electric eyes that she memorized all those years ago when she looked up. They were a brown, brown like desert sand; brown like liquid chocolate. Why were they brown?
The stranger smiled, "Good, good, stay awake c'mon. What's your name?"
Rosie looked beyond the man, looking at the grey sky. It wasn't her best friend, in fact, it wasn't anyone she knew but she appreciated him. Looking back at the stranger, he smiled, mouthing words that her ringing ears couldn't pick up.
This man who had no affliction to her saved her without asking for something in return. Doing it for the right reasons, like a good moral man. Louis wasn't in his spot because he didn't care. He didn't care about her anymore. It was then she finally clued in: Louis wasn't coming back, but she also realized that she didn't care anymore. Because, as her blood stained her hair, she said to herself that Louis Tomlinson was dead to her.
Notes
hey this is a super old story im just rewriting and uploading it!
Get ready, Louis! ;) I have hope. Lol.
6/29/17