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Smoke & Mirrors

08

Harry woke up spooning another body. Quite tightly if he were to describe it. It had been quite a while and maybe he missed it just a bit. He felt groggy and sluggish. And his mind was more than a little hazy. It was relatively dark in the room, only a bit of the morning sunlight filtering through the side of the curtains. He lifted his head up slightly, wondering who he was with, and noticed almost immediately a large tattoo of a stag on the person’s arm.

Of course it was Louis.

Harry’s heart hammered in his chest. How in the hell did he end up in Louis’ room? And what did he do when he got there? He sat up realizing almost immediately that his clothes were gone. He let out a sigh as he ran his fingers through his hair. He was so disappointed in himself. He usually had more self-control even when he was drinking. And he supposed that maybe it was his own fault for letting himself get that drunk. Because after all, drunk equals horny to him… and to Louis.

Harry gently, but quickly tossed off the blanket and tip-toed out of the bed, realizing only then he was wearing Louis’ underwear – a pair of navy blue striped Topman boxer briefs. He sighed again and looked back at Louis still asleep in the bed. Just the sight of him made his heart hurt, so he had to look away.

There was no doubt in his mind – even though he had no recollection of the night before – that he and Louis fooled around. The glaring evidence was laid out in front of him: he woke up half-naked, spooning him, despite the room having two beds. He was disappointed in himself, and Louis.

Harry tried to shake the thoughts of what may or may not have happened the night before from his mind, turning away to find his clothes. But they were nowhere in sight. Harry tried to wrack his brain, but he could not pull out any relevant clues on where his clothing might be. Was he really desperate enough for Louis, for Louis’ touch after all this time, to discard his clothing anywhere but in the hotel room?

Luckily enough, as he stepped into the bathroom and turned the light on, he found his shirt and trousers. Unluckily, they were hanging in a sopping wet mess in the shower. He let out a loud sigh, realizing he’d never be able to sneak out unscathed now.

“Fuck,” he growled lowly, running his fingers violently through his hair as he wondered once again, what in the bloody hell happened last night?

The stench coming from his clothes could mean only one thing. He puked, and he puked a lot. The memories came back to Harry quickly as he felt his stomach turn again. He remembered puking on the side of the road before they got to the hotel and then again in the bushes out front of the hotel. He also remembered Louis and Niall helping him up to the hotel room, and then once again puking in the shower when Niall turned the water on him while he was still fully clothed.

“My boots…” Harry sighed when he spotted his leather boots in a puddle at the end of the shower stall.

Out of options for clothing and nowhere else to turn, Harry tip-toed his way over to Louis’ suitcase, first making sure the other boy was still asleep. He and Louis weren’t exactly the same size when it came to trousers, but luckily Louis liked his sweatpants baggy. Harry slipped into a pair of gray Hollister sweatpants and threw on one of Louis’ white v-necks before locating a very worn looking pair of Toms to slip on his feet. It would have to do until he found his own suitcase.

As he walked back to the bathroom, Louis’ smell from his clothing invaded Harry senses, making the knot in his stomach and the hole in his heart a little bit bigger. He missed Louis more than he could ever express with words. He missed his best mate.

Harry shoved all his sopping wet clothes, including his destroyed boots, into a plastic hotel laundry bag and quietly slipped out of the hotel room.

After going down to the front desk to embarrassingly ask for a room key, he finally made it to his own room, only to find Liam as his roommate.

“Harry,” Liam gasped at the sight of him. Harry grunted in response, dropping his bag of wet clothing onto the floor.

“You okay, mate?” Liam asked, sitting up on the bed.

“I feel like rubbish,” Harry groaned, walking toward the two beds. Liam let out a light laugh.

“Well yeah, mate. You were projectile vomiting into the bushes last night,” he replied. Harry groaned again.

“We were all worried about you,” Liam added. Harry collapsed onto the bed and sighed.

“What made you drink so much, mate?” Liam asked, and by the tone of his voice, Harry could tell he was fishing for answers.

“Dunno,” Harry replied.

“I think you do know, mate,” Liam prodded.

Harry turned his head to look at Liam, and Liam gave him a knowing look.

“Louis, alright. Are you happy? Louis is the reason I was drinking so much,” Harry snapped, knowing Liam knew without really knowing.

“Thought so. Care to elaborate?” Liam asked. Harry sighed heavily.

“I love him and he doesn’t love me!” Harry confessed.

When he realized what he said, his whole heart dropped and tears sprung to his eyes. He threw his arm over his face as he lay on the bed and let the tears streak down his cheeks until his chest began to heave and his sobs began to shake his whole body.

“Oh, Harry. I don’t think that’s the truth,” Liam said as Harry felt the bed dip as Liam sat down beside him.

“It is true, Liam,” Harry countered.

“I know Louis loves you—” Liam began.

“Then he’s got a shit way of showing it!” Harry snapped, glaring at Liam for even saying the words.

“You’re forgetting, he’s the one who took care of you last night,” Liam added.

“Yeah well, it doesn’t make up for the way he’s been treating me for ages now,” Harry whimpered.

“Do you want me to talk to him?” Liam asked softly.

“No,” Harry said more calmly. He didn’t think it would be a good idea. Louis would just have another reason to be cross with Harry.

“Just let me know what I can do and I’ll do it,” Liam told him.

“I just want to sleep,” Harry said quietly.

“Alright, mate. Get some sleep,” Liam said, patting Harry’s shoulder.

A few moments later he heard Liam shut the shades on the window, blocking out the early morning sun, and he heard the TV turn off. It wasn’t long after that he fell back asleep.

.

.

Bus call was literally a nightmare. Harry was still wearing Louis’ clothes, which of course caused Louis to pay extra unwanted attention to him. And on top of it all, Harry still felt nauseous and the motion of the bus made everything worse.

“Drink some water, mate,” Zayn offered, throwing a bottled of water next to him as he lay on one of the front couches in the bus. Harry groaned, cracking open one of his eyes to look at Zayn.

“You look worse for wear,” Zayn commented with a laugh. Harry groaned again, feeling completely trapped in his hangover.

“Did you puke more when you got up to the hotel last night?” Zayn continued the semi-one-sided conversation.

“Don’t remind me. Apparently I puked everywhere. My boots are completely ruined,” Harry finally said. Zayn laughed out loud.

“Sucks, man,” Zayn said.

“I’ve gotta ask you something though,” Harry said, trying to focus his blurry vision on Zayn.

“Yeah, mate?” Zayn asked.

“Why’d you let Louis take care of me? I mean, I told you about us – about how I was feeling about our situation…” Harry asked, feeling the ache in his heart.

“I was right there with you when you puked in the bushes at the hotel, mate. We were all there with you. Louis was just – he was just taking over though. Like, he had a grip on you. Niall and I were right there to help you inside, but he insisted. He wanted to be the one to take care of you. Apparently even kicked Niall out of the hotel room once you were in the shower,” Zayn explained.

“I woke up half naked in his bed, spooning him,” Harry replied, feeling the annoyance bubble up inside of him.

“No shit, huh?” Zayn asked, his eyes wide.

“I have no idea what happened. All I know is I’m fucking wearing his clothes, right down to his knickers,” Harry grumbled, being tortured with a smell that was all Louis.

“I wasn’t going to ask,” Zayn snickered.

“I’d have changed, but I might vomit with all that motion,” Harry replied.

.

.

Harry spent nearly a whole day with the hangover from hell. He was still incapacitated when they got to the venue in Chicago, Illinois. He spent most of the afternoon on the same couch in the bus that he spent the morning on. Every time he tried to move, his stomach would turn into a swirling vortex of death. He knew they had sound check soon and he dreaded the thought of it. He tried his best to sleep it off, but all he could really do was even out his breathing well enough to get a few winks here and there.

Harry woke up as soon as he heard the bus door open, but he didn’t even bother opening his eyes to see who it was.

“You look good in my clothes…” he heard Louis mischievous voice.

Besides the tugging at his heart, Harry didn’t even flinch at the sound of Louis’ voice. He sure as hell didn’t want to deal with him when he felt like crawling in a hole and dying.

“How’re you feeling?” Harry heard, realizing Louis was determined to get a response out of him. Harry let out a low grunt in response just to get him to leave him alone. But of course it didn’t work.

“Didn’t know if you were gonna make it the other night,” Louis said, sounding as if he were trying to make conversation. But Harry wanted absolutely none of it.

Harry’s broken heart quickly turned to bitterness. And he didn’t want Louis to think that because he took care of him for one night, they were okay. Because they were so far from being okay.

Harry’s eyes finally met with Louis’, sending him a savage glare.

“That bad?” Louis snickered.

“I’m fine,” Harry snapped, annoyance weaving through the words.

“Alright. Christ. I’m just concerned,” Louis said with a sigh.

“Well, don’t be. I don’t need your concern. For all you’re concerned, I’ve properly fucked off since the last time we’ve spoken. Just like you told me to,” Harry snapped spitefully.

“Harry…” Louis sighed.

“Now it’s your turn! Fuck off, Louis,” Harry spat, surprising even himself. He’d never spoken like that to anyone before in his life.

“Alright, mate,” Louis said quietly.

“We’re not mates,” Harry grumbled under his breath.

It was hard not to notice how hurt Louis looked as he turned toward the door and walked off the bus. Harry immediately felt a stabbing pain in his heart over his harsh words, but knew he needed to stand his ground or he’d spend the rest of his life getting walked all over.

.

.

Harry still felt a bit woozy as he stood in the dressing room that night drinking a bit of tea before stage-call. He didn’t feel up for going out on stage for more than one reason. The most obvious glaring reason was because he was forced to be around Louis in an atmosphere that begged for the two of them to be chummy with one another. Harry was certain he didn’t even want to look in Louis’ direction let alone be anywhere near him.

As soon as the dressing room door opened Harry’s stomach dropped. Louis was standing in front of him once again, his back pressed to the door – the two of them participating in what would only be described as a stare-down.

“I know you told me to fuck off…” Louis began.

“Your words first,” Harry pointed out.

“Yes, my words first,” Louis grumbled under his breath, breaking their eye contact.

“What do you want?” Harry asked, annoyed by his presence.

“To talk,” Louis said quietly, meeting Harry’s eyes again.

“I don’t think it will matter,” Harry said quietly.

“It does matter, Harry. It does,” Louis insisted as he took two long strides toward Harry, stopping just short of him.

“So, I’m supposed to believe you have something relevant, something so profound to say that I’m just going to forget about the way you’ve treated me for weeks now? What could you possibly say that can right this?” Harry asked him, feeling his body start to tingle with anger.

“Harry,” Louis said quietly.

“I have nothing to say to you and I don’t care to listen to what you have to say,” Harry added.

“Please, Harry,” Louis said.

“Not after last night,” Harry said, shaking his head.

“Last night? I took care of you!” Louis protested.

“You took advantage of me!” Harry countered, feeling anger over the fact that he woke up half naked in bed with Louis.

What!?” Louis snapped, looking more than a little confused.

“Don’t,” Harry growled.

“Don’t what? You were puking all over yourself. Did you expect me to just leave you to drown in your own vomit?” Louis argued.

“I didn’t expect to wake up in your knickers!” Harry yelled.

“You woke up in my knickers because yours were soaked! Sure, I undressed you. But my god, Harry, I didn’t bloody take advantage of you! Nothing happened!” Louis explained.

“Then why did I wake up in bed with you?” Harry asked, trying like hell to fight his tears off when there was a thunderstorm in his heart.

“Because you asked me to… you asked me to lay with you…” Louis said quietly.

Harry bit his lip as he looked away from the other boy. He didn’t remember much about last night. And he definitely didn’t remember asking for Louis to lay with him. But it was possible, in the vulnerable state he was in, that he was the one to insist on the two of them sharing a bed.

He tried like hell not to let it shake him. He was still incredibly angry, rightfully so. The fact that Louis didn’t advantage of him in his intoxicated state proved he was a halfway decent human being, but halfway just didn’t cut it in Harry’s book.

“That still doesn’t make up for any of this bullshit,” Harry snapped.

“I know. I’m sorry. I know,” Louis said, looking massively pained as his gaze fell to the floor.

“You have nothing to say to make this better, to make me feel better. You made me feel transparent, Louis – like I was nothing. Like I meant nothing,” Harry said, his voice shaking as tears formed in his eyes.

“Harry, please. I’m sorry,” Louis said, slowly looking up into his eyes. A half-assed apology meant nothing to Harry.

“You have nothing to say!” Harry yelled again, wishing Louis would just take his bullshit somewhere else.

In a split second, Harry decided if Louis wasn’t going to leave, then he would. He quickly bypassed the other lad and headed toward the door.

“I’m gay!” Louis admitted, stopping Harry in his tracks.

Notes

Let me know what you think!

Comments

That was hot as hell! I LOVE LARRY!!!

LouisLover06 LouisLover06
6/11/20

@xXFluffy_GruXx

ME TOO! :'(

lisavslisa lisavslisa
8/6/18

Aw.. I'm so sad its over. :(

@LizzyM101

Thank you!!!

lisavslisa lisavslisa
7/16/18

Good ending to the story thank you. It fits in with the rest of the chapters.

LizzyM101 LizzyM101
7/16/18