Something New

Maxine’s perspective is slightly distorted as she opens her eyes to the bright lights of the morning. Her head buzzes with a nagging pain, reminding her of all the wine she drank the night before. Her mouth is dry and she feels unnaturally hot underneath the thick blanket. All she wants to do is roll over and get some more sleep, but she forgot to shut the shades before bed the night before and the morning sun is blazing through the window pane.

Maxine pauses, her body entirely still as she tries to remember how she got to bed. Her face flushes as she remembers her half-naked conversation with Liam in the kitchen. It’s pretty much a blur after that as her mind went on a tangent about how Liam called her beautiful. Until… until she remembers. Maxine’s eyes go wide as she remembers how she got to bed and how it wasn’t her bed she got into.

She holds her breath as she lets her eyes slowly scan the room from her side of the bed, not moving a muscle. She recognizes the walls almost immediately. Large floor to ceiling murals of cartoon characters and odd drawings that Zayn painted during his time living in the room. Liam didn’t have the heart to paint over the murals when he moved in, saying they were some of his best mates work.

Liam.

Max can now fully register the soft inhale and exhale of Liam’s breathing as he sleeps next to her, buried underneath the covers of his bed. Her heart beats wildly in her chest as she bites her lip trying to think of what the hell she should do. How could she have been so reckless? She slept with one of her flat mates. It was going to bring awkwardness and tension into the happiness they all had a hand in creating in the house. How could she be so irresponsible? No matter what she was feeling for him, it didn’t excuse her behavior.

Max isn’t sure what to do. She knows she can’t stay. She can’t just wake up in Liam’s bed and have it be like, normal between them – not with how incredibly awkward it makes her feel. She knows she needs to leave. Maybe they will be able to talk about it later. But right now, she can’t even comprehend what made her spend the night with him, going against everything she tells herself on a daily fucking basis: DO NOT SLEEP WITH YOUR FLAT MATE NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU FANCY HIM.

Max slides slowly out of Liam’s bed, hoping to not disturb his slumber. It’s unsettling to her that she’s completely naked, but she quickly realizes how daft the thought is. She spent the night underneath Liam Payne – of course she’s naked. Her stomach turns with excitement at the thought and a small smile turns up her lips. Oh hell, she knows she will think back fondly on memories of the two of them together. It is like a fantasy come true. He is a fantasy come true. She turns her head to look back at Liam as he sleeps peacefully.

Unfortunately for Max, when finally begins to look for her clothing, it is literally nowhere to be found. The only things she can find is her bra, but her panties and shirt seem to be MIA.

“Shit,” Max breaths as her eyes scan across Liam’s floor which is scattered with dirty clothes here and there – none of which are hers.

Without thinking Max pulls open the top drawer of Liam’s chest of drawers and finds his boxer briefs next to a box of condoms. Hell, did they even use a condom? She literally has no idea. Of all the irresponsible things she’s ever done, not wearing a condom probably takes the cake. She shakes her head and pulls out a pair of his boxers, sliding them up her legs.

Knowing she can’t walk out of Liam’s room not wearing a shirt, and not exactly wanting to invade his privacy any more than she already has, Max picks up one of Liam’s t-shirts off the bedroom floor and puts it on. It smells like him and makes her stomach turn again.

The last thing she wants to do is leave Liam to wake up alone, but her anxiety and fear are her guiding forces when she decides to slip out undetected. Except it backfires on her.

“Max?” She hears just as her hand grips onto the doorknob.

“Liam!” She yelps in a hushed whisper.

“Morning,” he says, his eyes squinting and blinking from the bright sunlight.

“Good morning. Uh… I uh… I need to get to the library. I uh, I have to finish my English Lit paper,” she stammers out her half-assed excuse.

“Oh, alright,” Liam says, sounding a bit disappointed.

“Go back to sleep. I’ll see you later, okay?” Max tells him.

“Alright. Good luck… with the paper,” he offers.

“Thanks,” Max says, finally swinging the door open and fleeing down the hallway to her bedroom, luckily, completely undetected by the other lads in the house.

Max spends the rest of the morning and most of the afternoon at the library, trying to get as much of her paper done as possible, but she is plagued. Plagued by disappointment in herself for the acts of the previous night, excitement over the fact that it actually happened, and arousal as memories flood her dirty mind of a very naked Liam doing very real and dirty things to her body. Oh god, he was absolutely unbelievable. He was so amazing to her last night. And she wants it again. She craves it. Why does she have to make everything so complicated?

When she realizes that finishing her paper that evening is futile, Max packs it up, leaving the library in her wake. But she isn’t quite ready to go home to face what lies ahead. So she takes a little jaunt around campus, really giving it a good look. She’s never been able to just appreciate the architecture and beauty of the historical buildings. It’s actually quite captivating.

Max eats her dinner in the uni cafeteria, still a bit afraid to make her way home and while she finishes up, she finally turns back on her phone, receiving a barrage of worried text from Harry, wondering where she’s been all day. Only then does she decide to walk home and face the consequences.

The house is quite when she arrives home, which calms her nerves a bit, but only slightly. She still has the nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach that she might run into Liam and be forced to talk about what happened. She doesn’t think she is ready for it yet.

As she makes her way up to her room to deposit the heavy knapsack she’s been carrying around for the last few hours, Harry pulls open his and Louis’ bedroom door, looking almost relieved to see her.

“Max, where have you been?” He says quickly.

“I’ve uh, I’ve been at the library,” she stammers, feeling a bit flustered.

“I’ve been worried,” he tells her, his hands on his hips.

“I’m okay,” she told him quietly, looking down at the floor.

“What’s wrong?” Harry says immediately and she almost cringes because she knows she’s given herself away. Harry is an incredibly observant person and knows Max almost better than she knows herself.

“Did something happen? Why do you look so melancholy?” Harry asks her quickly.

“N-no,” she stammers.

“Maxine,” he says sternly. Max clears her throat, craning her neck to look behind him, trying to decipher if Louis is in the room with him. She doesn’t want to confess anything with stray ears listening.

“Max,” Harry says, pulling the bedroom door closed as he grips her shoulders and guides her into her own room, closing the door behind them.

“Whose home?” Max asks him quietly.

“Just me and Louis…” Harry tells her.

“Not Zayn or Niall… or Liam?” She asks and it’s somehow hard to even say his name.

“Why did you say his name like that… ‘Liam’?” Harry asks, mimicking her tone.

Max clears her throat, dropping her knapsack to the floor by her bed as she begins to shallowly pace across her bedroom floor.

“Max, what is going on? You’re a proper mess,” Harry comments, watching her.

“Fuck, I know,” she sighs heavily. What is she going to do with herself? With her feelings? She has no earthly idea.

“What happened to you on campus today? You weren’t hurt were you? Did Liam do something? I’ll kill him if I have to. I can make it look like an accident,” Harry tells her, making a joke out of it.

“I’m not hurt and I don’t need to you to kill anyone… especially not Liam,” Max retorts, looking at him fondly. She loves her best friend with all her heart. He always has her back no matter what.

“What happened with Liam? Did something happen?” Harry presses again.

“Yes,” Max squeaks out, pressing her palm against her forehead as her entire body heats up with displaced embarrassment.

She isn’t actually sure if it really is embarrassment. She isn’t embarrassed about sleeping with Liam, no. Maybe it is something akin to shame? But not about the act itself. She feels shame over the fact that she wasn’t able to control herself when given the opportunity to bed him.

“Max,” Harry says impatiently after she fails to elaborate.

“We slept together,” Max blurts out.

“Whaaaat?” Harry said, the word falling out of his mouth in more of a sound than an actual word.

“Last night. I slept with Liam,” Max confesses.

“You slept with Liam? Our Liam?” Harry asks, looking absolutely gob-smacked.

“Yes,” she breathes as she begins to pace the floor again.

“I thought you… you said you… you weren’t going to do that,” Harry stammers.

“I KNOW! I know, ugh,” Max cries out, feeling overwhelmed.

“What happened?” Harry asks curiously.

Max stops to stare at him, feeling frozen with anxiety.

“Do you want details?” She asks incredulously.

“No… but, yes?” Harry says, turning up his mouth into a sneaky smile.

“Ohmygod. I don’t even know what happened. I don’t even know what came over me,” Max groans.

“Well, hopefully he came all over you,” Harry quips, snickering to himself, thinking he is just so funny.

“HARRY!” She yelps, leaning over to smack his arm.

“What? I’m sorry. I had to,” he laughs.

“You are not helping at all!” She shrieks.

“Max. Max, calm down. Just…what happened?” Harry asks, letting his laughter die off.

“I don’t know. I don’t know, ugh,” she breathes, scrubbing her hands down her face.

“What lead to… uh, that?” Harry asks awkwardly.

“I don’t know. I was drinking wine in the kitchen, doing the dishes… and like, my trousers got wet so I took them off… like, I was home alone. It wasn’t a big deal. But then like, Liam got home and found me in my knickers and made a comment about how now we’re even. I’ve seen his penis and now he’s seen me in my knickers. And I was so entirely enamored by him, but like, it didn’t happen then. It happened as I was walking up to bed. Liam walked out of the bathroom and like, it… it happened. We kissed and it… it happened,” Max explains.

“Wow,” Harry breathes.

“And I’m freaking out because I’ve broke my own rule,” Max groans.

“Have you talked to Liam about it?” Harry asks.

“No! God, no,” Max erupts.

“Well, don’t you think maybe you should? You haven’t slept with him up until this point for the fact that you don’t want things to become awkward. So don’t make them awkward. Talk to him about it,” Harry offers.

“Harry! You know me. You know I am, by definition, awkward! It can’t be helped!” Max shrieks.

“But it happened and you can’t take it back, so maybe you just need to suck it up and be an adult about it,” Harry explains, cocking his eyebrow at her.

Max really thinks about his words, knowing he is completely right.

“Maybe, maybe I’ll wait for Liam to say something to me about it. And then we can talk,” Max says, thinking out loud.

“I don’t know if that—” Harry begins.

“No, I’ll wait for him. I can’t handle any other scenario, Harry. I am going to have a nervous breakdown,” Max tells him, feeling a bit mad at the thought of speaking with Liam.

Harry just nods his head at her and doesn’t say another word.

Days pass and Liam had yet to mention the incident to Max or even hint to it. They talked about other things: Uni, schoolwork, the weather, bills, etc. But not about the massive elephant in the room with them. It is almost torturous and at this point Max is certain it will never be brought up again.

That Wednesday as the six of them sit down for their weekly dinner, Max is finally feeling like she can really start to put it behind her – that she can finally stop feeling awkward around him.

After they finish eating, the six of them are sat around the table drinking wine and beer, having a nice chat.

Louis brings up the fact that Harry seems to always be able to sneak his dirty laundry in with Max’s loads and she washes them without question, but the one time he tries to sneak his footy uniform in, she nearly has a coronary.

“Hey, that uniform was disgusting, Louis!” Max yelps, trying to defend herself.

“I needed it that afternoon and you were already doing the wash!” Louis laughs.

“There were literal dirt chunks falling off it, Louis,” Max says, looking at him like he was absolutely mad.

“Hence why I needed it clean,” he quips.

“Ohmygod,” Max laughs, rolling her eyes at him.

“We all know you favor, Harry,” Louis points out.

“I do not!” Max howls.

“You do too!” Louis says incredulously.

“You kind of do, love,” Zayn chimes in and she sees the other lads – including Liam – nodding their heads in agreement.

“I love all of you lads – equally, I promise!”

“Except you loves me more. You’re lying to yourself, love,” Harry says with a smirk.

“Ohmygod,” Max groans, realizing that arguing with them is futile. Harry is her best friend, but she tries hard to make the other guys feel just as loved. Because she does love them.

“’Arry loves the attention. He loves to be the center of attention,” Louis says with a drunken smirk.

“Not always. Just when it comes to you and Maxine,” Harry says, leaning over to kiss Louis’ lips quickly. His eyes are glazed over, giving away just how much effect the wine has on him.

“I repeat, I love you all, equally,” Max says with a wide smile, knowing full-well that Harry does and always will hold an extra special place in her heart.

“Who else would have guessed you’d sleep with Liam first out of all of us? To be honest, I always thought you and Harry might. You are his pass after all,” Louis says nonchalantly as he takes another sip of his beer.

Max’s eyes go wide staring at Louis as her face heats up. Her heart nearly stops with his words. She registers all his words – that she is Harry’s pass, which truly baffles her, but it’s the Liam spill that really hits her. Why would he say that!?

“Louis!” Harry snaps, kicking him under the table.

“Bloody hell! Was that still a secret?” Louis asks genuinely baffled, looking around the table at all the slack-jawed expressions on the other lads. Max can feel Liam’s eyes on her and she feels sick to her stomach.

“Wait, what?” Zayn asks, looking absolutely confused. Maxine feels as though she’s about to vomit. Her face burns with blush as she feels everyone’s prying eyes on her.

“Oh, love. I’m sorry,” Harry apologizes quickly to Max.

“You slept with Maxine?” Zayn squawks at Liam.

“Uh…” Liam stammers, looking between Max and Zayn.

“How many conversations have we had about how gorgeous she is? And you’re not going to tell me you fucked her?” Zayn asks Liam incredulously. Maxine sits silently as they talk about her like she’s not even there. Her anxiety skyrockets.

“Hey, that’s my best friend you’re talking about,” Harry snaps protectively at Zayn.

Zayn stops to look at Max quickly, almost looking stunned.

“Sorry, Max. You’re beautiful. We all think so,” Zayn says, and Max can vaguely hear Niall and Louis agree with Zayn, causing her stomach to turn again. She instantly retreats within herself, not used to that kind of attention.

“I’m sorry, Max,” Liam says, breaking her out of her thoughts.

“What? Don’t… don’t apologize,” Maxine stammers, feeling sick to her stomach because she thinks Liam regrets sleeping with her.

“No. Not for that – for this,” Liam says, sweeping his hand around in a circular motion to signify his apology is for their dirty deed being discussed openly by all the roommates.

“No, I’m sorry,” Louis chimes in.

“You should be,” Harry says and smacks his arm.

“What? I’m drunk. I can’t be held accountable for the stupid things I say when I’ve been drinking,” Louis defends himself to Harry.

“I should have never told you in the first place,” Harry grumbles to his boyfriend.

“Yeah, probably not,” Louis agrees with a snicker.

Maxine stands up, her chair making a scraping sound across the hard wood floor. Immediately all eyes are on her again.

“I’m going to bed,” she says quietly.

“Max,” Liam breathes, but she can’t bear to meet his eye. She walks out of the dining room and makes her way up the stairs before any one of them can follow.

Max closes her bedroom door behind her and sits down on her bed, feeling almost numb. Did that really just happen? She did so well bottling it up, and Liam didn’t bring it up either. She curses herself for telling Harry – who was the reason Louis knew.

A soft knock on the door startles Max. She doesn’t move an inch, she just stares at the closed door. A moment later it slowly opens, revealing Liam standing in her doorway.

“Hi,” he says softly, watching her.

“Hi,” she says back, her eyes dropping away from him immediately.

Liam closes the door behind him and stands there silently for a few long moments. Max looks back up at him and realizes how odd it is to have him in there… alone, or at all really.

“It’s so pink…” Liam says, looking around the room, breaking the ice.

“It was my grandmother’s room before she passed. This is even her bed spread…” Maxine tells him, sliding her hand across the flowery blanket on the bed.

“Oh,” he says quietly. Silence falls all around them again.

“Listen, Max…” Liam begins.

“No, Liam. We don’t need to talk about it. I mean, don’t you think it’s been talked about enough already?” Max says.

“Actually, no.”

Max swallows hard because she knows there was a lot left up in the air after they slept together, and that she has a large part to do with it, having slipped out in the morning with a lame excuse.

“Listen, Max…” Liam says as he moves toward her and sits down next to her on the bed. Her heart speeds up at the close proximity and she needs to take a deep breath just to rein herself in.

“I had a great time that night. I want you to know that,” Liam confesses and Max needs to take another deep breath because the words are almost too hard to hear.

“Then why didn’t you tell Zayn? He’s your best mate,” she asks, feeling so incredibly vulnerable.

“I didn’t think we were talking about it. The way you were acting after it happened… I don’t know. I thought you regretted it,” Liam admits, looking down at his hands.

“No,” Max breaths, looking up at his somber face.

“You don’t regret it?” He asks, watching at her.

“No,” she sighs, shaking her head as her vision looks anywhere but at him.

“Then why… why did you avoid me for so long?” He asks, marring his eyebrows together in question.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to. I’m just… weird and shy… and sometimes I don’t know how to… to be,” Max explains to him, and even though she can’t look up at him, she can hear him smile. Her eyes finally meet his and she’s right, he is smiling.

“Maxine, you’re… you’re beautiful and funny and generous. And I’ve never met a girl quite like you before. I should have talked to you after it happened. I don’t know why I didn’t. I guess I was just being daft or something. I should have…” Liam starts to explain.

“It’s okay, Liam. I’m sorry for telling Harry, who of course told Louis…” Max says with a bashful smile. Liam lets out a chuckle.

“Did I hear Louis correctly? You’re Harry’s pass?” Liam asks with a big playful smirk on his face.

“Yeah. I don’t really know what that means,” Maxine says with a laugh.

“I think it means your gay best friend wants to shag you,” Liam laughs and Max can’t help but laugh too.

“Oh, so weird,” Max giggles.

“Yeah,” Liam says as his laughter dies off. Suddenly he’s looking at Max with such intensity and she can’t seem to look away.

“You’re beautiful, Max,” Liam whispers, leaning in toward her.

Her heart is beating heavily in her chest. She knows Liam is about to kiss her and she’s not sure how to feel about it. Of course she wants him to, but a part of her is a little bit scared. He’s everything she’s wanted for so long, and now here he is for the taking.

When Liam’s lips finally press against hers, it’s like Max can hear a chorus of Angels singing in the back of her mind just for them. She’s thought a lot about what it would be like to kiss Liam again. And she isn’t disappointed. The kiss evolves into an opened-mouth, tongue-tangling, want-filled snogging and they’re both left breathless when they finally pull away.

Max’s fingertips come up to her battered lips as she looks into Liam’s eyes. He’s so entirely beautiful, she doesn’t know what to do with herself.

“Max…” Liam breathes.

“Yeah?” She whispers.

“Would you like to go on a date… with me?” Liam asks, looking at her hopefully. Max’s heart explodes. She is literally left speechless for a moment, but Liam is looking at her expectantly and as she tries to croak out her answer, she is forced to nod her head in response.

“Yeah?” He questions, his expression growing noticeably excited.

“Yeah,” she breathes, continuing to nod her head.

“Brilliant!” He says happily, leaning in to kiss her lips again.

And Max is happy – floating on cloud nine actually. Her most intimate fantasy coming true in an instant. Her day dreams consist of the two of them becoming more than just the two of them. She’s dreamt about this many times, but it never felt this good.

Notes