The Journal
{O N E}
{December 28th, 2009}
“Hey, Harry. Can you grab me a couple of towel from the bathroom?” Gemma yelled to him from the patio door, where she just got done building a snow fort in the back yard with their little brother’s Declan and Gavin.
“Why do you need a towel?” Harry grumbled, not wanting to move from his spot on the couch.
“Harry, come on. We need to dry off,” Gemma whined impatiently, dancing in place to keep warm.
“Why are you so wet anyway?” Harry argued, looking at his sister oddly.
“HARRY! Stop being a twit! Just grab me some towels!” Gemma shouted at him.
“Ugh. Fine,” he grumbled as he rolled his eyes, pulling himself to his feet before he padded to the nearest bathroom to grab the towels.
Of course though, someone had to be showering right when he needed to get in there. Harry rolled his eyes, grumbling to himself under his breath as he made his way halfway down the stairs to yell back to Gemma.
“Someone’s in there!” Harry told her.
“It’s probably just Declan. He just came back inside. Just go in and get one,” Gemma urged him. Harry growled to himself as he stomped back up the stairs.
“Declan, Gemma needs a towel. I’m coming in,” Harry said, knocking as he proceeded to open the door.
His eyes met with a pair of feet before they flew up to register Alexa in his line of vision – a very naked Alexa just getting out of the shower.
“Oh… my god,” Harry gasped as his eyes focused on every single naked, fleshy part of her. He couldn’t tear his eyes away even if he tried.
“Jesus, Harry. Get out,” she said with a dark chuckle, moving to push him out of the bathroom.
She didn’t make a move to cover herself. She just put her hand on his chest, pushing him out. The door slammed with a loud thud and Harry could only stared at it, completely shocked over what just happened.
“I need a towel!” He yelled through the door.
The door opened a crack and her hand shoved a towel out before she slammed it once again. Harry stood there in a daze as his mind cataloged images of every inch of her bare body his eyes laid on. Dear God.
“What are you doing?” Harry heard Declan ask as he came up beside him.
“Huh?” Harry asked, turning his head to see his little brother looking at him quizzically.
“Why are you just standing there?” Declan asked, looking at him oddly.
“Go give this to Gemma,” Harry said, shoving the towel into Declan’s chest. Harry moved passed him to go into his room, closing the door with a louder slam than he intended.
“What was that for!?” Declan called out to him, but Harry ignored him.
His mind kept playing what just happened with Alexa on a loop. His hasty actions couldn’t be helped. What really did him in though, was the fact that Alexa didn’t even seemed phased by it. To Harry, it was legitimately the sexiest thing ever. She was only a year older than him, but she was light-years more mature than him. By just the sight of her naked body, he was turning into a drooling, brainless Neanderthal.
Scratch that – a drooling, brainless Neanderthal with a hard-on.
Harry groaned as he looked down at the noticeable bulge in his trousers. As if he didn’t jerk-off enough these days. His slight obsession with the beautiful blue-eyed girl who inhabited the bedroom just down the hallway was getting out of hand. Before she moved in, his mother told them to just think of Alexa like a sister – that she would just become part of the family. But with these little fantasies he played in his head, there was no way he would ever look at her like a sister. Especially now.
Quickly, Harry began relieving himself. It was the fastest and easiest way to rid him of the… situation. And at fifteen, he was just beginning to perfect a fast and easy one-man-handy.
“Oh… my… god…” Harry heard from his bedroom doorway.
He immediately scrambled, trying to hide himself under the blanket on his bed. Oh, Dear God. Alexa was standing in his now opened doorway with a devious smirk on her face. She let out a dark chuckle before she closed the door, leaving him to his humiliation.
“Shit,” he breathed, running his hands through his hair.
Did that really just happen? Could his life get any worse?
Harry pulled his trousers back up and sat on the edge of his bed with his face in his hands. He felt sick to his stomach with all the uneasy feelings that were coursing through his body. He didn’t leave his room until his mum made him come down for dinner. And even then, she sent his five year old brother Gavin up to get him. Harry felt his cheeks burn as he rounded the corner into the dining room, because he knew Alexa was in there – seated in the chair directly across from his designated chair. How could he just sit there, right in front of her, after she caught him doing that? After he walked in on her naked in the bathroom? Today was just fucked up.
Harry kept his head down as he moved toward his chair. He pulled it out and sat down, avoiding making eye contact with her at all costs.
“What took you so long, Harry? What were you doing up there?” His step-father Robin asked curiously.
And sure enough, Harry heard the faintest of snickers coming from Alexa. Harry looked at her through his thick eyelashes as his cheeks burned even hotter with embarrassment. Alexa smirked at him, slightly cocking her eyebrow. Her smugness made him hate her just a little bit.
“I was just working on some music,” Harry lied, shrugging nonchalantly. He did have a band and he often wrote music, so it wasn’t far off.
“Hmm,” Robin acknowledged his words with a nod of his head.
Harry looked back over at Alexa from the corner of his eye and she gave him smile and her own head nod. Ugh. He hated everything about the situation he put himself in. He just wanted to eat his dinner as fast as he could and run back up to his room and stay there for the rest of the night – or the rest of his life.
Before Harry got the chance to rush up to his room, his mum caught him, letting him know it was his turn to load the dishwasher. Harry groaned outwardly as he drug his feet to the kitchen, dishes in hand. He grumbled the whole time he loaded that bastard. Why couldn’t everybody just leave him alone? Couldn’t they see he was having a crisis? He just wanted to hide out in his room until Alexa stopped looking at him like a deviant.
“Stupid… god damn it…” Harry grumbled as a fork fell into the back of the dishwasher.
He reached his hand deep inside and pulled it out. When he stood back up, he was startled to see Alexa leaning against the adjacent countertop, looking straight at him.
“Jesus Christ,” he breathed, holding his hand over his racing heart.
“You shouldn’t use such foul language,” she said, smirking deviously at him, her arms crossed over her chest.
“Yeah,” he grumbled, closing the dishwasher. Harry stood there as his eyes awkwardly flicked back and forth from the floor to her.
“Did you like what you saw?” She asked confidently.
Harry’s eyes locked on hers momentarily before cutting away to her lips that curled up into a smug smirk. He looked away altogether, crossing his own arms over his chest, leaning against the counter as he tried his hardest to act casual.
“I mean… I didn’t mean to… you know… see you…” He stammered, trying not to sound like a complete git.
“That wasn’t what I asked,” she breathed evenly.
Harry’s vision turned to her again, trying to gage her response by her facial features. But he wasn’t getting anything from her. He had no idea what she was thinking.
“I asked if you liked what you saw,” she said again, keeping up a pretty stern poker-face.
“Uh…” Harry gulped.
“You must have. I can only assume after what I walked in on,” she pointed out, her eyebrow quirking in question.
“Look—” Harry sighed, ready to try to bullshit his way through an explanation.
“I’m actually quite flattered,” she said, finally letting that smirk break through on her face again.
“What?” Harry choked out, looking at her in disbelief.
“You’re cute. I’m flattered. It’s not like you’re some pervert,” she said, smiling at him confidently.
She had no idea what her words were doing to his insides – and his ego.
“You’re not a pervert, are you Harry?” Alexa asked, quirking her eyebrow again.
“N-no,” he stammered, feeling like a complete idiot because she was making him lose his mind. Again, Neanderthal.
“I didn’t think so,” she said finally, pushing away from the countertop with her hands as she closed the gap between them.
Harry was holding his breath instinctually. He thought he might explode if she came any closer. She had no idea about all the fantasies he had of her over the last couple of years. He could literally write a book about it.
Alexa stopped just short of pressing her body into his. She stood directly in front of him, looking up into his eyes.
“Do you think I’m pretty, Harry?” She questioned as her eyes flicked back and forth looking at his.
“Uh…” Harry faltered as his mind worked a mile a minute, debating how he would or should answer something like that.
“Honestly,” she urged.
“Honestly?” He asked, slightly raising his eyebrows.
“Honestly,” she said with a nod.
“You’re… you’re beautiful,” he told her.
Her lips curled up once again and Harry loved that he pleased her. Second later, her hand gripped onto the side of his face, squeezing it so his lips stuck out. Harry stared straight into her eyes, wondering what in the hell she was doing. And before he could process a thing, she pressed her lips firmly to his. She ended it just as quick, taking a step back from him.
She let a giggle escape from her lips, but she didn’t look bashful about it. She still held onto that smugness that made him want to hate her most of the time.
“Kiss me back next time,” she said with a smile before she turned on her heels and left the kitchen.
Harry was left standing as still as a statue, completely dumbfounded. He couldn’t believe what just happened. If she had given him even a split second to process what the hell was going on, then maybe he would have kissed her back. Instead he was left speechless, feeling like an imbecile, standing in the kitchen while she was probably having a nice laugh at his expense.
01 January, 2010
A—
I’m not entirely sure things could get any more complicated between us. Honestly, I don’t know whether to categorize any of our previous complications as good or bad. Mainly I’ve just categorized them as those little life lessons that I could really only learn from and keep on moving.
To me, you are a little life lesson that has burrowed deep within me and infested my entire being, spreading like a plague before I could even think twice about fighting it off. It’s like you’ve integrated yourself straight into my being, because I am quite certain I will never rid myself of you – whether I want to or not. I have no choice in the matter.
—H
“Hey, Harry. Can you grab me a couple of towel from the bathroom?” Gemma yelled to him from the patio door, where she just got done building a snow fort in the back yard with their little brother’s Declan and Gavin.
“Why do you need a towel?” Harry grumbled, not wanting to move from his spot on the couch.
“Harry, come on. We need to dry off,” Gemma whined impatiently, dancing in place to keep warm.
“Why are you so wet anyway?” Harry argued, looking at his sister oddly.
“HARRY! Stop being a twit! Just grab me some towels!” Gemma shouted at him.
“Ugh. Fine,” he grumbled as he rolled his eyes, pulling himself to his feet before he padded to the nearest bathroom to grab the towels.
Of course though, someone had to be showering right when he needed to get in there. Harry rolled his eyes, grumbling to himself under his breath as he made his way halfway down the stairs to yell back to Gemma.
“Someone’s in there!” Harry told her.
“It’s probably just Declan. He just came back inside. Just go in and get one,” Gemma urged him. Harry growled to himself as he stomped back up the stairs.
“Declan, Gemma needs a towel. I’m coming in,” Harry said, knocking as he proceeded to open the door.
His eyes met with a pair of feet before they flew up to register Alexa in his line of vision – a very naked Alexa just getting out of the shower.
“Oh… my god,” Harry gasped as his eyes focused on every single naked, fleshy part of her. He couldn’t tear his eyes away even if he tried.
“Jesus, Harry. Get out,” she said with a dark chuckle, moving to push him out of the bathroom.
She didn’t make a move to cover herself. She just put her hand on his chest, pushing him out. The door slammed with a loud thud and Harry could only stared at it, completely shocked over what just happened.
“I need a towel!” He yelled through the door.
The door opened a crack and her hand shoved a towel out before she slammed it once again. Harry stood there in a daze as his mind cataloged images of every inch of her bare body his eyes laid on. Dear God.
“What are you doing?” Harry heard Declan ask as he came up beside him.
“Huh?” Harry asked, turning his head to see his little brother looking at him quizzically.
“Why are you just standing there?” Declan asked, looking at him oddly.
“Go give this to Gemma,” Harry said, shoving the towel into Declan’s chest. Harry moved passed him to go into his room, closing the door with a louder slam than he intended.
“What was that for!?” Declan called out to him, but Harry ignored him.
His mind kept playing what just happened with Alexa on a loop. His hasty actions couldn’t be helped. What really did him in though, was the fact that Alexa didn’t even seemed phased by it. To Harry, it was legitimately the sexiest thing ever. She was only a year older than him, but she was light-years more mature than him. By just the sight of her naked body, he was turning into a drooling, brainless Neanderthal.
Scratch that – a drooling, brainless Neanderthal with a hard-on.
Harry groaned as he looked down at the noticeable bulge in his trousers. As if he didn’t jerk-off enough these days. His slight obsession with the beautiful blue-eyed girl who inhabited the bedroom just down the hallway was getting out of hand. Before she moved in, his mother told them to just think of Alexa like a sister – that she would just become part of the family. But with these little fantasies he played in his head, there was no way he would ever look at her like a sister. Especially now.
Quickly, Harry began relieving himself. It was the fastest and easiest way to rid him of the… situation. And at fifteen, he was just beginning to perfect a fast and easy one-man-handy.
“Oh… my… god…” Harry heard from his bedroom doorway.
He immediately scrambled, trying to hide himself under the blanket on his bed. Oh, Dear God. Alexa was standing in his now opened doorway with a devious smirk on her face. She let out a dark chuckle before she closed the door, leaving him to his humiliation.
“Shit,” he breathed, running his hands through his hair.
Did that really just happen? Could his life get any worse?
Harry pulled his trousers back up and sat on the edge of his bed with his face in his hands. He felt sick to his stomach with all the uneasy feelings that were coursing through his body. He didn’t leave his room until his mum made him come down for dinner. And even then, she sent his five year old brother Gavin up to get him. Harry felt his cheeks burn as he rounded the corner into the dining room, because he knew Alexa was in there – seated in the chair directly across from his designated chair. How could he just sit there, right in front of her, after she caught him doing that? After he walked in on her naked in the bathroom? Today was just fucked up.
Harry kept his head down as he moved toward his chair. He pulled it out and sat down, avoiding making eye contact with her at all costs.
“What took you so long, Harry? What were you doing up there?” His step-father Robin asked curiously.
And sure enough, Harry heard the faintest of snickers coming from Alexa. Harry looked at her through his thick eyelashes as his cheeks burned even hotter with embarrassment. Alexa smirked at him, slightly cocking her eyebrow. Her smugness made him hate her just a little bit.
“I was just working on some music,” Harry lied, shrugging nonchalantly. He did have a band and he often wrote music, so it wasn’t far off.
“Hmm,” Robin acknowledged his words with a nod of his head.
Harry looked back over at Alexa from the corner of his eye and she gave him smile and her own head nod. Ugh. He hated everything about the situation he put himself in. He just wanted to eat his dinner as fast as he could and run back up to his room and stay there for the rest of the night – or the rest of his life.
Before Harry got the chance to rush up to his room, his mum caught him, letting him know it was his turn to load the dishwasher. Harry groaned outwardly as he drug his feet to the kitchen, dishes in hand. He grumbled the whole time he loaded that bastard. Why couldn’t everybody just leave him alone? Couldn’t they see he was having a crisis? He just wanted to hide out in his room until Alexa stopped looking at him like a deviant.
“Stupid… god damn it…” Harry grumbled as a fork fell into the back of the dishwasher.
He reached his hand deep inside and pulled it out. When he stood back up, he was startled to see Alexa leaning against the adjacent countertop, looking straight at him.
“Jesus Christ,” he breathed, holding his hand over his racing heart.
“You shouldn’t use such foul language,” she said, smirking deviously at him, her arms crossed over her chest.
“Yeah,” he grumbled, closing the dishwasher. Harry stood there as his eyes awkwardly flicked back and forth from the floor to her.
“Did you like what you saw?” She asked confidently.
Harry’s eyes locked on hers momentarily before cutting away to her lips that curled up into a smug smirk. He looked away altogether, crossing his own arms over his chest, leaning against the counter as he tried his hardest to act casual.
“I mean… I didn’t mean to… you know… see you…” He stammered, trying not to sound like a complete git.
“That wasn’t what I asked,” she breathed evenly.
Harry’s vision turned to her again, trying to gage her response by her facial features. But he wasn’t getting anything from her. He had no idea what she was thinking.
“I asked if you liked what you saw,” she said again, keeping up a pretty stern poker-face.
“Uh…” Harry gulped.
“You must have. I can only assume after what I walked in on,” she pointed out, her eyebrow quirking in question.
“Look—” Harry sighed, ready to try to bullshit his way through an explanation.
“I’m actually quite flattered,” she said, finally letting that smirk break through on her face again.
“What?” Harry choked out, looking at her in disbelief.
“You’re cute. I’m flattered. It’s not like you’re some pervert,” she said, smiling at him confidently.
She had no idea what her words were doing to his insides – and his ego.
“You’re not a pervert, are you Harry?” Alexa asked, quirking her eyebrow again.
“N-no,” he stammered, feeling like a complete idiot because she was making him lose his mind. Again, Neanderthal.
“I didn’t think so,” she said finally, pushing away from the countertop with her hands as she closed the gap between them.
Harry was holding his breath instinctually. He thought he might explode if she came any closer. She had no idea about all the fantasies he had of her over the last couple of years. He could literally write a book about it.
Alexa stopped just short of pressing her body into his. She stood directly in front of him, looking up into his eyes.
“Do you think I’m pretty, Harry?” She questioned as her eyes flicked back and forth looking at his.
“Uh…” Harry faltered as his mind worked a mile a minute, debating how he would or should answer something like that.
“Honestly,” she urged.
“Honestly?” He asked, slightly raising his eyebrows.
“Honestly,” she said with a nod.
“You’re… you’re beautiful,” he told her.
Her lips curled up once again and Harry loved that he pleased her. Second later, her hand gripped onto the side of his face, squeezing it so his lips stuck out. Harry stared straight into her eyes, wondering what in the hell she was doing. And before he could process a thing, she pressed her lips firmly to his. She ended it just as quick, taking a step back from him.
She let a giggle escape from her lips, but she didn’t look bashful about it. She still held onto that smugness that made him want to hate her most of the time.
“Kiss me back next time,” she said with a smile before she turned on her heels and left the kitchen.
Harry was left standing as still as a statue, completely dumbfounded. He couldn’t believe what just happened. If she had given him even a split second to process what the hell was going on, then maybe he would have kissed her back. Instead he was left speechless, feeling like an imbecile, standing in the kitchen while she was probably having a nice laugh at his expense.
01 January, 2010
A—
I’m not entirely sure things could get any more complicated between us. Honestly, I don’t know whether to categorize any of our previous complications as good or bad. Mainly I’ve just categorized them as those little life lessons that I could really only learn from and keep on moving.
To me, you are a little life lesson that has burrowed deep within me and infested my entire being, spreading like a plague before I could even think twice about fighting it off. It’s like you’ve integrated yourself straight into my being, because I am quite certain I will never rid myself of you – whether I want to or not. I have no choice in the matter.
—H
I need an update STAT! Soooo good
8/30/18