Stars in Your Eyes

Trying to find time with Harry over the next couple of days was extremely hard. Louis was making it almost impossible for Harry to apologize for not telling him when their relationship first started. Louis was completely cutting Harry out and was even trying to get their friends to cut him out too. If family meant anything to Louis, he wouldn’t be acting so headstrong about something that made his sister truly happy.

The only time Shay and Harry really had time to see each other during that week was at school and Shay truly hated that they couldn’t be together. It was exactly what she’d been dreading.

“How are things with Harry?” Jay asked that Friday night.

Shay was helping her mother clean up after a very silent, awkward dinner with the family. Family dinner’s now consisted of Shay and Louis ignoring each other, and Shay ignoring her father. It ended up just being their mother trying to make conversation with her brooding family. And even then, their answers came out in one word form along with their anger.

“Uh, not like it used to be,” Shay said awkwardly.

“Why? How come?” Jay asked, looking concerned for her daughter.

“Are you kidding?” Shay asked incredulously, giving her mother a look of contempt.

“Well, I know because your brother had a mental breakdown over it. But, what’s wrong? Is Harry upset?” Jay asked.

“Of course he’s upset, Mom. His best friend just cut him out of his life. I’d be upset too,” Shay said, feeling so annoyed. How did she expect him to feel?

“Shay. Of course I know he’s upset over Louis, but is everything okay between the two of you?” She asked.

“We don’t get to see each other, if that’s what you’re asking,” Shay told her, feeling a sting in her heart.

“Not even at school?” She asked.

“Well, yeah at school. But it’s… it’s different. We’re different at school,” Shay said with a shrug.

“Do you talk on the phone?” Jay asked.

“Yeah,” Shay said quietly, wiping off the kitchen table with a damp wash cloth.

“Well, soon everything will blow over and maybe you and Harry can spend more time together once Louis has a chance to calm down,” she said optimistically.

“Yeah,” Shay mumbled, feeling a wave of melancholy wash over her.

As Shay walked back into the kitchen with the wash cloth, her phone began buzzing in her pocket. She pulled it out to see Harry’s number lighting up her screen.

“Harry. Hi,” she said as a smile plastered across her face. Jay looked over at her and smiled.

“Hi,” Harry said softly.

“H-how are you?” Shay asked, feeling a bit awkward. She felt so distant from Harry as of late.

“Good. I was just… I was wondering if maybe you could come out and see me,” he asked quietly.

“Come out and see you?” Shay asked, looking up at her mother from across the kitchen.

“Yeah. I… maybe go to our spot?” He asked. A sneaky smile spread across Shay’s face.

“Let me ask quick,” Shay said, hoping her mother would have enough sympathy for her to let her go.

“Okay,” he said before Shay placed her hand over the receiver of the phone.

“Can I go out with Harry? He… he wants to see me,” Shay told her, feeling absolutely elated that she would get to spend time with him outside of school.

“What are you going to do?” She asked, eyeing Shay skeptically.

“Hang out,” Shay said as her smiled dropped off her face. Of course she was going to ask questions. It was so annoying.

“Where are you going to go?” Jay asked.

“I don’t know. His house,” Shay said with a shrug of her shoulders. Jay stood there contemplating it, leaving Shay impatiently waiting, biting at her lip.

“Seriously, Mom. Weren’t you just saying how it was all going to work out? Just, please,” Shay begged.

“Fine. But I want you home before midnight,” she told her only daughter.

“Thank you!” Shay said quickly, kissing her mother’s cheek before she raced up the stairs to her room.

“I can come out,” Shay told Harry once she’d shut her bedroom door.

“I’m outside,” he told her.

“Okay. Just… just give me a few minutes,” she told him.

“Okay,” he said and they hung up.

Shay raced around her room freshening up, feeling the most excitement she’d felt all week. Right before she left her room, she grabbed a condom from her paper bag stash and put it in her purse. All she’d been thinking about besides this whole mess was how badly she wished their last two failed attempts at sex had succeeded. She missed his closeness and she wanted it badly. She didn’t care that it was winter and it was nearly freezing outside. Their body heat would keep them warm, she was sure of it.

Shay threw on her jacket and raced out the door, slowing down only because the sidewalk was icy and she didn’t want to fall on her ass in front of Harry. She jumped into Harry’s warm car and immediately kissed him hard on the mouth.

“I missed you. I’ve been missing you,” she told him, with an excited smile on her face.

“I’ve missed you too, Shay,” he said, but his smile didn’t nearly mirror hers.

The two of them sat in silence as Coldplay played through the speakers as he drove them to their spot. Once he parked, she couldn’t help but kiss him. She just missed him so much. She missed being with him. She missed their spot.

“God, I love being back here with you,” Shay said, smiling contently at him as she held the sides of his face in her hands.

“Back here with me? How many other guys have you been here with?” He smirked at her and she felt the warmth in his smile.

“Harry…” She whined playfully and he let out a laugh.

“I-I’ve been thinking how badly I missed everything,” Shay told him as her hands came down, gently grasping onto the front of his jacket.

“Hmm,” he hummed, looking out the windshield, then back at her.

“I miss being close with you. It’s something I took for granted. I just… I want to feel that way again. I want to feel your body…” Shay said, cutting herself off, realizing how forward she sounded. But then she realized she didn’t care because she loved Harry and she missed him and nothing should stop her from telling him how she felt.

“Shay…” Harry breathed quietly, his eyes looking away from hers again. She couldn’t help but notice how distant he seemed to feel.

“Louis might be mad, Harry, but he’s going to get over it and I think we need to get over it too. I think we just need to continue because we love each other. I love you, Harry,” Shay said, pulling him to her by his jacket as she kissed him again.

“Shay…” He breathed against her lips.

“What?” She asked, pulling back to look into his eyes.

“I just… I’m… this is all…” He said, speaking in fragmented sentences.

“This is all what?” She asked, her eyebrows furrowing in question.

“Louis… he’s my best friend,” Harry breathed.

“I know. And he’ll get over this, Harry. He’s going to realize it’s a good thing that you’re with me. He’s going to calm down,” Shay said, trying to reassure him.

“I just… I just think that maybe…” Harry said, cutting himself off. Shay’s heart began beating faster as she watched the anxiousness on Harry’s face.

“Harry, it will be okay,” she breathed in a whisper as her brain started to realize why Harry was hesitating.

“Maybe we should just…” He stammered, looking down at his hands.

“Harry…” Shay breathed, her heart squeezing tightly

“I think we should give Louis some time,” he said, finally looking up into her eyes again.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m cool with that. Maybe we can just keep it a secret again,” Shay said, trying to spin the situation positively because she didn’t want to acknowledge the distress in his voice.

“Shay, this is just all too much. I’ve been friends with Louis for ten years. Ten years. He’s my brother, Shay,” Harry told her.

“I know,” she said quietly as a lump formed in her throat. She knew in her heart that Harry was trying to find a way to let her down easily.

“I think we should… take a break,” he said uncomfortably. Shay shook her head lightly as she felt tears well in her eyes. She was glad it was dark in the car because she didn’t want him to see her distress.

“Louis will come around,” she whispered, trying to mask the emotion in her voice.

“But what if he doesn’t?” Harry asked.

“He will,” Shay said firmly.

“Shay, I can’t… Louis is…” Harry started.

“Your best friend. I know! God!” She growled.

“Shay…” Harry said quietly.

“Take me home, Harry,” she said through clenched teeth as the anger bubbled up inside of her.

She wanted to go home so she could murder her brother with her bare hands. He was ruining everything.

“Shay…” Harry said again, his tone pleading.

“You don’t want to be with me, fine. Take me home,” Shay said, trying to keep her voice level.

“Shay, I’m just saying for right now. It’s not that I don’t want to be with you, because I do. We just shouldn’t… not when things are like this,” Harry explained and Shay let out a scoff.

Harry was so worried about Louis’ feelings, but what about her feelings? What about his own feelings? He was going to sacrifice what they had for Louis, when they both knew for certain that Louis would eventually come around. It was typical Louis. He always acted like a hot-head, but after a while he always came around, he always admitted fault when he did something wrong. And the way he acted about her and Harry was incredibly wrong.

“Please don’t make this any harder than it needs to be,” Harry told her.

“What the hell does that even mean, Harry? You don’t want me to be upset? Did Louis monopolize all the anger in this situation? Am I supposed to be happy that you don’t want to be with me?” Shay questioned rapidly, letting her frustration out.

“I want to be with you, Shay! I just… I just can’t right now,” Harry said, getting frustrated himself.

“Take me home,” Shay told him again.

“God, Shay!” Harry scoffed.

“Just please, Harry. You said you didn’t want to hurt me. Well, I don’t want you to see me hurting, okay. Just take me home!” She growled.

“Shay, I’m not trying to hurt you. I’m not,” he said as emotion filled his words.

“Just please, Harry,” she croaked as her tears began falling down her face.

“I’m so sorry, Shay,” Harry said softly.

She put her hand over her eyes and leaned her head against the window as she let the tears fall freely. Harry sat silently for a few moments before putting the car in drive and doing what she asked – taking her home.

“Shay, I’m sorry,” Harry said once he pulled up in the driveway at her house.

“Yeah, me too,” she said before she pushed open the door and got out.

Her tears were streaming down her face, turning cold from the night air as she walked carefully back up the front walk. She didn’t look back as she pushed open the front door and slammed it shut.

“God,” Shay sobbed as she pressed her back against the door, feeling the harrowing pain she was left with.

“Shay?” She heard her mother’s voice seconds before she came around the corner.

“Shay, are you alright?” She asked as concern washed over her features.

“He doesn’t want to be with me anymore,” Shay cried as she noticed Louis’ head peek around the corner to see what the commotion was.

“BECAUSE OF YOU!” Shay yelled, pointing her finger at him.

“Me?” Louis scoffed.

“You just had to be a dick! You couldn’t just let it go!” Shay screamed at him.

“Shay,” Johannah said in her calming tone of voice.

“He said he couldn’t see me anymore because of you! Because you’re supposed to be his best friend. Some shitty friend you are! He’s happy, Louis! I made him happy. And he made me happy! But you’re so selfish that you don’t care!” Shay screamed at him.

Louis stood there with his narrowed eyes and clenched jaw, not giving a damn about anyone but himself.

“Well screw you, Louis! SCREW YOU!” Shay snapped, pushing him as hard as she could before she ran up the stairs to her bedroom.

Notes