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Beating Heart

s e v e n t y s e v e n - unbelievable.

//don't be afraid, it's okay to try things//


//Harry//

A small, gentle touch keeps reappearing on my cheek - small strokes, a few light taps here and there. A slight curve comes to my lips as I squeeze my eyes tight, preparing them for the light they are about to encounter. "Please.. get up." Julianne's voice floats like a feather in the air around me, she's a very impatient person. I lift my lids, immediately regretting it because of the bright light pouring in from the window - no curtains are blocking the sun. She must've gotten up to open them.

She gasps suddenly, "You're awake!" She grins happily as she leans over, her face inches above me. "Mmhmm." My mouth shapes into a smile for her, she makes me so happy - it's unbelievable at times. I lift my hand off the mattress and grab onto her waist. She lets out a tickled giggle, making me chuckle in return. "Guess what.." Julianne says as she throws her arm over me, pressing her hand into the mattress to hold her up. "What?" I ask, my other hand finding its way to her side, helping her balance herself above me.

Those pretty lips of hers brush against mine as she drops her head, giggling gently against my mouth. "I love you." She mutters, pulling me into a kiss. She doesn't dominate it though, she leaves that up for me to handle. I gladly accept the offer by sliding my tongue past her lips and into that lovely mouth. She moans ever so softly, sending tingles down my spine. I guide her on top of me, she easily throws her leg over me. I raise myself up, not breaking any contact with my love at all, this moment is too perfect to stop.

She giggles into the kiss as I place her on my lap, holding her down with my hands. Her small hand glides up my chest, while the other remains glued to my waist. My heart melts as she cups my scarred cheek in her hand, holding me as close as we can get right now. I'm quite shocked that she's going along with this - yet, I'm glad she is. Her thumb rubs gently against the end of my scar, making me feel a lot better about myself. She's always been so accepting and loving towards that part of me, I couldn't ask for anything better. Honestly, it doesn't get any better than this - she's perfect.

"Mm, Harry." Julianne sighs as she pulls her mouth away from mine. I groan in protest, pushing my lips back against hers. She doesn't kiss me back like I wish she would - instead, she shoves me by my shoulders, tearing our mouths apart again. "What's the matter?" My eyes open immediately, realizing there is something behind that harsh push she gave me. She sits her hands on my shoulders, breathing quickly from the lack of air she was getting moments ago.

"We.. we need to stop." She mutters to me, those blue eyes glancing up just for a second to look at me. Without a warning, she removes herself from my lap and crawls to the edge of the bed where she throws her legs over and sits up, dropping her head in her hands. "Hey, baby." I breathe out, moving over so that I could, too, sit on the edge of the mattress. My arm goes around her, but it doesn't phase her at all.

"Julianne, what.. what happened? I.. I thought this is want you wanted.. to be alone with me.. so we could act like a normal couple?" I didn't intend to make it sound so harsh, but it surely came out that way. She huffs beside me, shaking her head lightly before pushing herself off the bed. I sigh irritatingly, sometimes I just want to scream at her for being so stubborn. If something's wrong then why can't she just tell me?

"Did you not.. did you not like it?" I stand up, following behind her as she goes to the bathroom. I am not going to allow her to run away from this like countless other arguments we've had. I don't want to fight, I only want to solve this - I only want for her to explain this to me. There's a reason to everything, I just need to know.

"Harry, can we please not do this?" Julianne asks as she goes into the bathroom, me directly behind her. She goes to the sink counter and grabs a hold of the edges, leaning over slightly. Her hair falls to curtain her face, but thankfully the mirror is giving me the privilege to see her pretty face. "Don't do this to me. Don't.. don't shut me out, baby." I calm my voice down some, not meaning to frighten her at all. She shakes her head lightly once again just as I slide my hands under her shirt to place them on her hips. Her smooth, soft skin feels wonderful against mine. She completes me.

"You... you.." Julianne huffs, but I can tell she's just upset with herself, her lack of confidence. I wish she would tell me everything that bothered her - so that I could do whatever I needed to in order to fix it. At the same time, I know that she's very shy, even while talking to me, and there's a lot of things she will never tell me. I understand that.

"What did I do? Was it.. something wrong? Something you.. you didn't like?" I ask in a whisper, getting a little closer to her. Her behind comes into contact with my crotch, and almost instantly she spins around, knocking my arms away. "I-" She quickly ends her thought before it could even begin. I raise my brows at her, what is going on? "Babe.. please." I say gently, gulping from nervousness. Her eyes flicker downward - to my crotch - then back to my own stare. Within the same moment, I realize what she's referring to.

"I.. I thought we.. we had this.. talk already.. baby.. it-it ]happens." I try my best to defend myself, it isn't entirely my fault. I mean, gosh, has Julianne looked in the mirror lately? She's stunning - obviously if I have an incredibly gorgeous girlfriend I'm going to get an erection here and there. "I.. I know but.. it just.. s-scared me." I can both sense and see the fear that's come over her body. Her muscles are tense, knuckles turning white as she holds her hands in fists. Her eyes are wide, her lips slightly parted in shock. "I don't.. get it, baby. I.. why are you scared of me? I don't ever want you to be afraid of me." My voice is cracking from my own fright - having her turn against me, having her fear me is something I can not deal with, mentally or physically. How can the only person in the world I want to be around completely despise my presence?

She collects herself a tad, taking slow breathes. After a silent moment or two, she steps away from me and goes over to the bay window on the bathroom's farthest wall. I let a nervous lump start to form, putting no effort into trying to swallow it. There's no use, it will just return. My eyes lift from the floor, watching her body move in the mirror. I press my hands onto the counter, applying pressure as I slightly hunch. It's now my turn to calm down.

"There's no one here.. to.. help me if you tried to do something." Julianne's words shock me as she suddenly speaks, all I see is her back in the mirror. As I stare at my reflection, my eyebrows furrow and my lips turn to a frown. What on earth is she talking about? Before I could ponder it any longer, she interrupts me and carries on with her words. "I feel like.. you're going to.. pr-pressure me into.. doing it and I just.. I don't know if ... if I can handle.. that."

Without moving from my current spot, I open my mouth and allow my own thoughts to come out. I have to prove her wrong, in every sense of the word. "Julianne.. I would never do that to you without your consent." I closely observe her in the mirror. One hand is by her side while the other is resting on the wall. Her body facing the window, but her attention is on me. "I know that Harry.." She surprises me by slowly spinning around - her eyes trailing from the floor, up my back, until they finally catch my stare in the mirror. "..but the Liam thing is.. scaring me and I.." She continues with her thought, but quickly pauses.

"Baby." I copy her actions, now directly looking at her. I watch her body tense up, leaning against the wall for support since she won't allow me to be there for her. "I swear to you.. I will never pressure you into doing anything." I shake my head as I assure her of this, the last thing I want is for her to fear me in any way, for any reason. She's my entire world, she has to know how much I cherish her. If I were to force her into any sexual contact, I would completely destroy her - ruin her pure innocence. I would never be able to live with myself if I done that - I can hardly stand the thought of it.

Her small hand rises to her face, where she nervously pushes a few strands of her hair behind her ear. She drops her hand, as well as her gaze on me. I take a few steps forward, but immediately I notice how uncomfortable she became. I freeze, not wanting to scare her any more than I already have. "But we.. we talked about it before and you told me you wanted to.. but I don't if I can do that.. I'm.. I'm scared, Harry, that you will try to-"

"I won't." Her statement is foolish to me, doesn't she get it? She's my everything - going against her wishes would be devastating to me - it would truly hurt me. "The day we decide to do that will be fully up to you, baby." I allow myself to close the distance we share, once I'm sure her heart is calm and her breaths are even and steady. I place a hand on her waist, gripping her enough to keep her still. I can sense how good she feels now, safe and secure - just what I wanted. "Yes, I am ready. But this isn't about me. This is something you decide for us." I whisper softly, so afraid that I might frighten her once more.

"Why me?" She mutters, her eyes flicker up to stare into mine. I smile just gently, my free hand sliding across her jaw to the side of her neck. Her soft, cold skin beneath mine feels wonderful. I give her a little heat, knowing how much she likes the feeling of me sending warmth to her flesh. A shy smile covers her lips, cheeks blushing pink. "That night will revolve around what you want, how you want it, where you want it.." I lean closer to her, my lips brushing against her forehead. I hear a relieved sigh come through her lips, making me feel like she's finally collected.

"Every little thing I do will be for you.. To pleasure.. to caress.. to touch.. to kiss.. to love." I drop my head lower, putting her lips against mine - but I don't push into them. Instead, I continue - her plump skin touching mine gently. "It could be five years from now.. or ten. Three months.. or six. Four weeks.. or two. Two days.. or one. Tomorrow.. or tonight. Whatever and whenever you are ready.. I will be ready, too. But I won't rush you, take your time, darlin'."

"K-kiss me." Julianne's sweet whisper hits against my mouth, her warm breath fans my face. I curve the corner of my mouth just a little, right before pressing our mouths together. Her arms snake around my neck, those little fingers tangle in my hair as soon as she comes into contact with the unruly mess. I place my palms against her lower back, holding her body close to mine - my heart exploding with every single touch we share. A moan slips from her throat and drops down mine, God only understands the things this girl does to me.

Her grip around my neck becomes tighter as I easily lift her feet off the tile. She smiles against my kiss, resulting in my own mouth to shape into a grin. She's so adorable, so perfect. I carry her over to the counter, where I sit her down gently so that I don't bruise her bum - she's so fragile, I have to be extremely careful.

Her body relaxes now that she's supported by a structure. Her hands continue to get lost in my hair, twisting and twirling all around. I let a palm drop to the curve of her butt, where I press hard. I love touching her, feeling her body - each little turn and curve, the length of her arms and legs, the softness of her stomach, the sweet fullness of her ass and her thighs, the cushions on her chest, and those lovely lips placed upon her gorgeous face. Everything - I love it. Every piece, every inch.

"Julianne." I break our kiss because one hand dropped from my hair and went down my front - inching close to my crotch. "Harry." She breathes, mocking my tone. I peel my eyes open, just to find that hers are resting shut. I look over her features, how relaxed her brows are, how swollen those pretty lips are - how utterly comfortable she is. "You just freaked out about my erection.. but now you're extremely close to running your hand over it." Her actions confuse me, she can flip from one feeling to the exact opposite in minutes. "Just.. no boundaries, please." She requests this in a soft, barely audible voice. I lean my forehead against hers.

"Baby.. nothin's ever been off limits." I remind her of this, perhaps she wasn't aware. Suppose I should do a better job at letting her know those sort of things. "I want to.. do normal things.. that.. regular couples do." Her eyes flutter open just as I lean back just a few inches. "I can tell you're not ready, baby. Please, don't.. rush this." I beg of her, my voice remaining low and gentle though. No need to scare her anymore today.

"You're right.. I'm.. not r-ready.. but please.. just.. let me.. do something." Julianne's eyes are full of her want, desire - but yet, she's controlled and tame at the moment. She's difficult to fully read at times. I only nod to her, letting her know I'm okay with whatever she decides to do - whether it be simple, or major. It's her choice, it will always be her choice. "I love you." She utters against my mouth as she reconnects her kiss, not glad that I had broken it in the first place. I smirk softly as one hand remains trapped in my hair while the other falls down my back - her fingertips messing with the waistband of my briefs.

I let my hand join the other on each side of her butt, sliding my hands between her body and the counter top. I squeeze what I can fit in my hands, pulling a squeal from her. I chuckle lightly into the kiss as I continue to knead her thick bottom. I find this truly enjoyable and full of absolute pleasure, having my hands on her behind. She doesn't seem to mind, I believe she secretly adores it if I'm honest. Shockingly, her fingers slide underneath the band and down the left side of my rear - no intentions of stopping any time soon.

My heart is thumping violently, could this be all she wanted? To be touchy, to get a little feel of what it's like to be in the sexual lust she craves to feel, yet is very afraid of.. A groan slips out of me as she removes her hand from my briefs and allows it to return to the front side of my body where she runs it down my side slowly, agonizingly. I leave a palm against her butt and let my other trail to her waist. I just absolutely love holding her in that spot, she's so soft and curvy.

The moment I had been both fearing and waiting for comes out of nowhere - her hand roughly slides over my crotch, making my erection very aware of her presence. I can't resist, nor stop, the heavy moan that forms in my throat and erupts into the air around us. Julianne's mouth slows down, her hand slides back to my abdomen, and the other drops to the side of my neck. My eyes open to find hers already glaring at me. "Why'd.. you stop?" I ask breathlessly, hoping to cover up the immense about of pain I am currently locked in. I'm not human, my sexual desires can't just go away with the thought of something sad or repulsive. They have to be resolved - whether through sex, or the way I've been doing it for many, many years - with my hand.

"You don't like it." She whispers gently, those precious eyes are drooping, and that mouth is in a frown. "No, baby, no. I do like it, a lot." I press my lips to the corner of her mouth, just to leave a little reassurance. "Will you.. do something.. f-for me?" She asks nervously, unsure if she has the courage or not. I allow my head to rise and fall a few times, assuring her that I am okay with anything she wants. With a soft sigh, she picks up my right hand and slowly brings it towards her. At first, I watch her eyes but when she decides to look down at my hand, I follow her movements.

Julianne guides my slightly shaking hand to the hem of her shirt. She bends my fingers so that they hook on to the fabric. Her pleading eyes stare at me through her lashes, begging me to remove the clothing from her body. I swallow all of my anxiety and just focus on her - it is my duty to do whatever she wants, as long as it pleases her and makes her happy. I nod lightly to her as I grab the shirt with my other hand as well, and slowly begin to guide it up her body - revealing inch by inch of her glorious skin.

She raises her arms to help me out some once I get it to her chest. I pull the thin fabric of the shirt that actually belongs to me over her head. Tossing it on the floor without a thought, I look back at her eyes only to see that she's looking downward again, reaching for my hand. Exhaling slowly and deeply, I try my hardest to remain calm as Julianne lifts my hand to the valley between her now fully exposed breasts. I can't resist the urge to look down at them, so I just do it - trying to be courageous, so that she knows it's okay to do things like this.

She places my hand so that my fingertips are placed between her breasts. A second later, her grip on my wrist tightens as she begins to glide my fingers across her beautiful skin. I begin to admire the soft feeling of her breast, the smooth skin, the veins peeking through her pale flesh. Julianne's movements come to a halt, and her hand uncoils from around my wrist - leaving me on my own now. Her small hand touches against my waist, keeping me as close as I can get between her knees. "I.. could hurt you." I mumble to her, my fingers linger on her skin - remaining in the same spot she left them.

"You won't." She softly replies, confident in my ability to control the wolf inside of me. I've promised her before that I wouldn't hurt her, and I failed multiple times. "It's okay." Julianne's encouraging mutter makes my heart skip a beat - she trusts me, she must at least - she's allowing me to touch her in places I had only seen with my eyes before, never once physically touched bare. My gaze drops to her chest, where my hands rest on her skin.

With ease, and no hesitation, I move my fingers across her breast. I lift all of them off her skin, except my index and middle. I let those two go on a journey of their own - softly circling around her nipple. She shudders at my touch, a smile coming to her lips and a breathy sigh escaping. Her eyes close in bliss, enjoying the feelings I'm giving to her - the new ones. I feel the nub get harder under my touch, in return a part of my own body does the same thing.

"Harry.." Julianne moans out as I capture it between the pads of my fingers, applying pressure so that sparks will fly through her veins. The sight of her shivering in pleasure makes my heart pound violently in my chest, threatening to bust through my rib cage any moment now. Both of her tiny hands grab onto the sides of my neck, her thumbs rubbing against the location my jaws meet on either side. I lift the corner of my mouth just slightly as I watch the girl I love fall in love with what I'm doing to her - how I'm doing it.

I keep my actions gentle - making sure I don't pinch too hard, allowing the feelings to be painless but full of pleasure. "Please." Julianne whispers the word so quietly, like a feather floating in the breeze. I lift my eyesight, needing to know what exactly she was begging for. Those beautiful blue orbs I have loved for so long pour into my own eyes. Silently pleading for me to do what she wants - what she desires to feel. But I just can't read her mind, not yet at least, I have no clue what she wants. I have ideas, but I don't know for certain.

Slowly, her left hand works it way to press onto my face, her thumb gently slides over my bottom lip. I furrow my brows slightly, I have a feeling of what she's referring to but I need to know for sure. A verbal demand would be nice, but I know she's entirely too shy to tell me in words. Instead, she pulls my head forwards, making me lean over to get closer to her. She lines my mouth up to the spot she wanted to feel me - the very spot I had been caressing with my fingertips - and immediately I knew for sure what she was desiring to experience.

Her hand moves from my face back to my neck, while the other finds its way into my hair once again. I take a deep breath and slowly lick over my lips, making sure there is enough moisture gathered there. A gulp slides down my throat - I am only nervous because I want to do this right, I want to make her every wish and dream come true, perfectly true. If I screw this up, then she might not want me to ever do it again.

Trying to ignore those thoughts banging around in my head, I move towards her breast, closing the three inch distance between my lips and the destination I am headed for. Julianne takes a deep breath just as I am about to come into contact with the pink nub. But of course, nothing ever goes as we plan - and it's ruined before it's even started.

The phone rings.


//Julianne//

A deep, clearly irritated huff comes from Harry's parted lips - easily, I notice he's not very pleased with who ever is calling him. Sadly, he leans up from his previous slouching position and quickly pecks my forehead with a few kisses. My hands fall from his body as he turns away from me, heading towards the door so he can answer the phone. All I'm going to say about the situation is that it better be an emergency, because we were on a damn good track and I believe now that the mood is crushed. It won't be easy to rebuild the moment either. Some things aren't meant to last, I suppose.

Through the wall, I can hear Harry angrily answer the cell phone. The conversation doesn't sound so friendly either. "What the hell do you want!" Harry yells into the device. "I don't really care. Now listen to me." Harry snaps suddenly, making me believe that whoever called, and for whatever reason, didn't provide him with a reasonable explanation. Of course, no one could have known we were in the midst of a very steamy, memorable moment - but still, it's quite annoying, even to me.

"Do not call me unless someone is dying or extremely sick. And it's none of your business why we left. Goodbye." Harry's voice is full of anger and rage - yet I can tell he's holding back a lot. He could have lashed out, even phased in the bedroom - but he controlled his temper, and I'm very proud of him. I feel like I have something to do with that. Lately, he's calming himself more and more. Perhaps it's because of my presence, he doesn't want to scare me by wolfing out on someone - or maybe it's just he's not in the mood to be upset with anyone. Which ever it is, I'm still glad he collected his sanity before he could do anything regretful or stupid.

"Babe..?" Harry's voice trails for a moment, entering the room before he does. I look over just in time to see him step through the door. He leans against the frame, sighing slowly to himself as his eyes look anywhere but into mine. "Do you want some breakfast, dear?" Harry asks me sweetly, curving the corners of his mouth just enough to count as a smile. I brush off the things I want to say, the movements I desire to make - and I just simply nod in reply to him. I can't deny that offer, Harry cooks amazing food - especially breakfast.

He pushes himself off the door frame and steps over to me. On his way, he bends over to pick up my discarded shirt from the floor. "What would you like?" He asks, gently placing a hand on my thigh, those emerald eyes finally landing on my stare. He puts the shirt over my head and helps me lead my arms through the holes. He tugs it down so that it covers everything he once saw. "Um.. eggs." I mumble, I'm actually feeling hungry at the moment. Usually, I try to contain my cravings around him - but yet, for some reason, I feel completely open and free now that we are here alone. "Is that all?" He lifts a brow lightly in question. I think for a quick moment, how hungry am I?

"Ummm." I sit my hand on top of his, rubbing my fingers over his knuckles while I think. He keeps an entertained smile stuck on his lips as he watches me think this through. This is quite a hard decision. I know I'm not starving, yet I could eat a good bit. "You know that toast Sophia makes.. where she puts the cinnamon sugar stuff on top?" I bite my lip, silently hoping that he knows what I'm referring to. "Of course I know, I'm the one that showed her how to make it." Harry's eye drops into a wink, making me blush just slightly.

"That's what I want." I say with a grin, happy that he asked me what I preferred to have this morning. "Please." I add, feeling that my previous words were a tad harsh. Harry lets a chuckle roll from his throat, the thick, husky laugh making me blush even more. I adore it so much when he does that. "Anything for you, baby girl." His choice of pet name really made my heart skip a few beats, something about that one gets to me sometimes. He leans forward, pressing his lips to mine for a sweet kiss.


-


The smell is the kitchen is divine - watching Harry cook at the stove is simply wondrous. His body is still without a shirt, which doesn't bother me one bit. I am able to admire the way the muscles in his back and arms flex as he moves around, stirring the eggs in the skillet since I requested them to be scrambled. I am sitting at the small table, awaiting my meal. He's so amazing, I don't believe most guys are like this - willing to cook their girlfriend whatever she requested for breakfast. But I guess I'm very lucky - not only is he a gentleman, but he's perfect in every way possible.

"Harry.." I say his name in a mumble, not worried about if he could hear me or not - the answer is obvious. "Yes, love?" He asks, glancing over his shoulder at me. I smile at him as we catch each other's eye. Right as I am about to speak, Harry's phone buzzes on the table in front of me. He huffs lightly, shaking his head like he couldn't believe it - I couldn't either. "It's a text." I inform him, but that was all I knew for sure. I didn't want to invade by looking at the screen any longer than that, just in case it infuriated him like the first time I done that. I'd like to forget that ever occurred, though.

"Will you read it to me, please?" Harry asks kindly. I pick up the phone and slide the screen open. I tap the messaging app and go to the most recent one. I read over it a few times, making sure I don't say anything wrong because sometimes I just get naturally anxious about things and I might mispronounce a word or two. I realize how long the message actually is, so I find myself reading the entire thing in my head. "It's from... um.." I stop myself in my tracks as I realize what name was at the top of the screen. A moment went by, still I remain silent though. Recently, it's become hard for me to even think about this person - I definitely don't want to catch myself saying their name.

"Julianne?" Harry says my name slightly confused as he turns around to find me staring at the screen. "Something wrong?" He asks rather nervously. I don't move, I'm frozen in my own skin - the person, the message, everything - it has me in shock. I hear the click of the stove as Harry turns it off and rushes over to me. His hand cups my face within seconds, forcing me to look up at him. "What's wrong?" He asks quietly, leaning down so that my neck wasn't strained. I just look back at the phone, not sure what to say anymore.

Harry takes the phone from the table after pulling a chair over beside me. I stare at the table top as he reads the message to himself - probably not knowing what the hell to think. The words my eyes read over keep repeating in my mind - already haunting and mocking me. A shaky breath comes out of my mouth as the full intensity of the situation sinks into my mind - into my heart.


Harry, I know this is out of the blue and you probably don't want to have any contact with me at all. But there is something I need you to know, so please keep reading. I don't know who I've become, this person I am - I don't know him. The things I have done to upset you and to frighten Julianne, I'm sorry. I apologize for everything. It was never my intention to make it seem like I was trying to harm her in any way. My temper is uncontrollable at times, as is yours, and no words could ever describe how sorry I am for making you hate me. We used to be like brothers, but now it's as if we don't even know each other. The things I done in the past, what happened to Eleanor - I am greatly aware that those events cannot be forgiven, I never expected any of you to forgive me anyways. I know you want me dead, so I ask one favor of you. Please, just kill me already.


"This is how wants to fix things? By being a fuckin' coward!" Harry says through strongly gritted teeth. He slams the phone down onto the table as he stands, kicking the chair out of the way. My lips begin to quiver as I notice the cracks branching across Harry's phone screen - the power of his movements broke the glass. "He's fucking dead to me. And soon.. he'll be dead to everyone!" Harry yells out as he smacks his palms onto the counter, making me jump at the loud bang erupting in the room. I can hear his huffs - the hissing and the grunts, the animal inside of him desperate to come out.

"Ju-julianne.. Don't.. get near me." Harry demands in a calmer tone, but I can easily tell he's highly upset and angry beyond words. I give an understanding nod, letting him know that I am aware of what to do and what not to do right now. He starts to huff rapidly, his hands balling into tightly bound fists. His knuckles turn white, and his veins pop up - his tan skin showing them off. I watch him closely as he stumbles over to the wall, pressing his hands against the wood and dropping his head. It hurts me to know that he can't control this - he's so upset right now, and I know he doesn't want to be.

I wish I could do something, anything to help him fight this. My thoughts are tossed away as Harry's voice breaks into the intense silence. "C'mere." He says with a strained voice, his body turning towards me. I hesitate at first, remembering what he said about staying away from him, but yet I soon find myself crossing the room to get to him. His rules may work on the others, but his commands don't frighten me as much as he, and even myself, like to believe at times.

"I need.. you.. to-" Harry stops himself with a hiss. The millions of nerves in my body all tense up in fear as I witness those deadly sharp fangs grow in Harry's mouth. He squeezes his eyes shut and I observe his warm skin turn fifty different shades of red - a mix of pain and anger overtaking him. He grunts as the sharp pain he must be feeling finally vanishes, his fangs shiny and pointy - on display for me to see. Those glowing eyes meet mine, and immediately I take a few steps back for comfort. Harry notices instantly, and shakes his head a few times.

"No, no, no.. I swear.. I won't hurt you." He closes our distance, his hands grasping my waist tightly. He leans down so that his lips are against my forehead. He leaves a few little kisses before he starts to speak. "I have to go for a little bit. I will be back, don't be afraid. I won't be far. I.. I have to get this anger out." Harry informs me and in almost the same second - my heart breaks into a billion pieces. He can't leave me. I know it's so selfish to say, but I need him in order to cope.

"I-I don't know why.. I'm.. so.. fuckin'... mad." He breathes out, I can tell he's confused and so I am. "You-you can't.. go." I stutter pathetically. "Oh baby, I swear to you, I don't want to. But I need to." Harry's shaky hands grab a hold of my face - despite his temper, his movements are gentle. "I love you so much." He mutters as his lips fall against mine. I gasp as I feel a sharp nip on my bottom lip. I pull away, automatically realizing that it was his bite m. "I-I-I.. have to-to go." He blinks slowly, gulping harshly just a second after.

Harry leaves a few sloppy pecks on my lips, keeping his teeth hidden this time, before letting me go and walking past me. I follow behind him, even though I know for sure he doesn't want me to. He slings the door open, heavy sighs escaping every other second from his mouth. I know he's close to the edge, one little push and he'll be an animal in front of me instead of a human. Harry's body whips around, making me freeze in my steps.

"Stay here. Lock the door. I'll be back." And with those words, he slams the door as he leaves. I quickly do as he told me, I turn the lock and slide the chain into its slot. Before I was hardly aware of my own actions, I am looking through the window - getting to witness Harry's change. It does frighten me, knowing that the man I love is also a huge, supernatural creature. Yet, at the very same time, I love him completely.


--


//Harry//

My mind is filled with countless thoughts - all of which revolve around Julianne. A certain someone wants to end his life, would me fulfilling his desire mean anything at all? Would it result in safety for the girl I love? She would no longer have to fear him.

Ultimately, this isn't my decision to make. If he really wanted to die, he'd do it himself and get it over with - not request for me to do it. He's just a coward, he's too afraid to act upon his thoughts and end it on his own. He knows, everyone knows, he's nothing without me. He can't function without my support. He can't even think straight without knowing I'm going to be there to help. He's dependent upon me, he's always been. I don't blame him. I found him, I brought him to my parents that day - centuries ago - and ask that he join our family. He was my friend for a very long time. But as I have learned, people change.

Despite what we like to believe, they will never be the person they once were again - there is absolutely no going back.

I believe I've slaughtered enough for the time being - I need to return to my love. Whenever I'm away, whether it be in the woods or in another room, I listen closely to her heartbeat - to her breathing pattern. Just to assure myself she's safe, to remind myself of the only reason I am alive. If it weren't for her, I actually believe I'd want to die, too. But unlike Liam, I'd end it on my own.




As I enter the cabin, my eyes instantly shoot towards the couch - where Julianne's body is laying peacefully under a blanket. I smile gently as I observe her, she's so precious. Keeping myself as quiet as I possibly can, I shut the door behind me - not wanting to disturb her. The television is playing some cartoon, one that I've seen her watch a few times in the past. I can't resist to grin in utter awe as I look down and see how her eyes are sealed, her lips slightly parted, and steady breaths come in and out.

She's quite incredible to observe. She's like a literal work of art - every little detail, every single fiber - she's perfect, amazing, and definitely gorgeous. I grab the edge of the blanket and bring it up to her chin, tucking it around her so that she stays warm and cozy. I'm quite surprised she fell asleep, we slept pretty well last night - but I guess a nap is needed at times.

The only sound that fills the room is the low volume of the television. That is, until my phone vibrates on the coffee table. She must have brought it in here to keep track of the time. I pick it up, not wanting the noise to bother her. I sigh gently as I see the mess I made of the screen - at least I am able to see it and use it properly. I open the new message I received seconds ago and read over it, not in the mood for this at all.


Zayn: You need to come home as soon as you can. Sophia is having a breakdown. She's been in pain all morning. We think Liam's done something to himself...


I scoff lightly at his words. I refuse to go back to them - I haven't even been gone long. And also, I won't return because they only want me to fix someone else's problems. Yes, obviously it's my duty as Alpha to help my pack out - but the thing is, Liam left. What the others don't realize is that Liam is, as of this moment in time, no longer a part of my pack. Therefore, his whereabouts, his health, and everything else that involves him isn't of my concern. Sophia can either go find him herself, or Zayn can do it. I'm not babysitting him anymore - I've done that the whole time I've known him. I am not doing it anymore, they can fucking forget that shit.


Zayn: Don't ignore this, please. We know you're trying to spend time with Julianne but you've got to help us. Sophia is lashing out, we don't know what to do.


Before I could even think of a reply to send back, he had already sent another message. A heavy huff leaves my mouth as I roll my eyes - they honestly can not function without me there. It's like they're incapable of doing anything productively if I'm not there to hold their hands and guide them. I'm the Alpha, not their god damn father. I sure hope they comprehend that.


To Zayn: You're right. I am trying to spend time with Julianne. However, I can't do that if you people are constantly bothering me.

To Zayn: We aren't coming home. And you aren't allowed here. Give her some alcohol - she'll cool down after a few shots.



Julianne's body stirs on the couch, immediately grabbing my attention. I look over at her, making sure she's still asleep. She makes a facial expression - furrows her eyebrows and frowns a little. But like I figured, she gives off a small smile before becoming still again. She's so adorable when she sleeps, I could watch her for hours. Just as my eyes look back at my phone, a new message arrives.


Zayn: That's a sick joke, Harry. We're waiting, hurry up.


Sometimes, being brutally honest is the only way to solve things. I gave them my opinion, I know how much Sophia can handle when it comes to alcohol. If they gave her a little bit of tequila she'd be ready to pass out within half an hour. Then she'd forget about the pain and just sleep through it. That's what I had to do when my mother died - just force myself to get wasted and stay in a slumber for most of the day. It works, I'm somewhat fine now. Much better than I once was, obviously.


To Zayn: It's not a joke. And you'll be waiting a long while because I'm not coming. Goodbye.


Notes

-- yes it's been a couple of weeks since an update, yes I know it's long, yes I know it's confusing, but please, pretty please, just trust me! *also, just a little note, I am going to begin to include more anatonmy terms and advanced vocabulary - just to spice it up a bit!

--drop some feedback in the comments, if you don't mind loves! xx much love! Updates coming xx

Comments

as soon as i opened the notification i noticed the cover and character pic changes and i think they’re great and suit it better :))

I just started and finished this book and I'm in love with this book!!

HayleeBear HayleeBear
1/1/19

amazing as usual, you never disappoint girl :)

Allie Miller Allie Miller
12/31/18

yayyy updatesss!!!

sofistylesxx1022 sofistylesxx1022
12/28/18

@brianna.smith
This has got to be one of my favorite stories from you B!! You guys know how to keep the audience hanging on even if it’s by the tiniest thread of sanity lol.... love you girl keep up the amazing work

Allie Miller Allie Miller
11/20/18