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Beating Heart

f o r t y t h r e e - cake.

//it becomes so hard to resist what you adore//

//Harry//

I've done it again - I've hurt someome I love. This time, however, it isn't Niall or Sophia or any of them, instead - this time - I hurt my entire world. Julianne. Why was I being so mean? That's the thing I'm clueless about.

She was complying, she was listening, and most importantly she was crying. I shouldn't have left her like that, broken with tear streams staining her gorgeous face. I shouldn't have acted like my father.


The evening is settling in, the cool air feels nice against my sweaty chest - it's been a long day. The balcony railing is cold, but i still wrap my hands around it as I lean forward.

"Harry! Hi!" A voice cheerfully screamed my name, a smile coming to my lips as I automatically know who it is. "Hey sweetheart." I call back, waving slightly at Sara. She grins at me before jumping up and down in pure joy.

"Come down for dinner! It's almost ready!" She informs me from three stories below. "I'll be there soon." I nod a few times before she throws me two thumbs ups. She waves a goodbye before sprinting back towards the house, she has been playing outside since noon.

A sigh leaves my mouth as i realize what position and situation I've placed myself in. Not only do I have to go downstairs, but I have to face my fear and speak to my beloved Julianne.

I know she'll be down there, one reason is because they only want to cook a full course meal a few times a month - family time or whatever they call it - and they want her to be there. The second reason, well Perrie told me.

There's absolutely no getting out of this - tonight could either make me or break me.

*+*+*

Literally all eyes dart to me as I enter the dining room - every seat taken except for mine, Sophia's, and Julianne's. I gulp nervously as I place myself in the chair at the end. Once again, all eyes roam to me. "Everything alright?" Niall questions with furrowed brows and a concerned look on his face. "S'fine." I shrug absentmindedly - not really wanting to listen to their pity.

"Where's Jul-" The words stop coming from my mouth as I pick uo her scent inching nearer and nearer - her smell is constantly on my nose, but at the moment it's so fucking strong. "Sorry about the wait, guys." Sophia laughs lightly as they both enter the room.

My beautiful girl - clothed in a tee and some jeans, god she looks so perfect. Julianne calmly sits down, her attention on the other end of the table - basically everyone but me. Perrie takes notice of this and sends me an apologetic look.

I roll my eyes, I don't need her to feel sorry for my own stupid mistake. "Guess we'll get started then." Zayn insists as he stands up, leading himself to the kitchen. I follow in pursuit of him, prepared to serve my lovely angel tonight.

The kitchen smells of steak and potatoes - along with a few other items. "She didn't know you were gonna be here." Niall mumbles as he appears by my side at the island. "She can get over it." I bluntly state. "Stop being an ass.. the girl is obsessed with you, yet all you do is hurt her." Zayn says as he passes me two plates.

"I didn't hurt her." I'm quick to defend myself. I haven't done anything other than leave her all day. I admit that hurt me, but I could have done worse to her and I didn't. I'm sick of everything being my fault.

Just once, I want it to be blamed on someone else.


//Julianne//

"Be nice dear, he's worried about you." Sophia sighs out slowly as she takes Niall's seat. Before I could speak, she continued on. "I know he hurt your feelings earlier.. but Harry's got good intentions. He cares about you, more than he does about himself." she smiles before standing from the chair, Niall's returned to the dining room.

I watch as he places a plate in front of Sara, giving her a kiss on her forehead before stepping behind her. She dramatically rolls her eyes as he gathers her hair and pulls it all behind her.
"Don't want you eating your hair, love." he gives her a small laugh before tying her hair back with a band. "I don't do that anymore, Ni. M'not a baby." she crosses her arms on her chest and huffs. "You done it at breakfast." Niall pecks her temple before stepping back into the kitchen.

I listen as Sara complains about the ponytail and Gemma constantly keeps telling her it's fine - and that Niall just worries about her.

My heart jumps as Harry pops up beside me, sitting a plate in front of me before placing his on the table as well. He comes beside me and squats down, tapping my thigh - a signal for me to look at him I assume. I do as he asks and turn my head, my eyes falling to meet his heavy gaze.

"I'm sorry about what happened." Harry mumbled to me, his hand carefully sitting on top of mine. My eyes glance up at Perrie, but she's deep in a conversation with Sophia, both at other the end of the table now.

"I got angry at myself.. not at you. I left.. because I didn't want to hurt you. Some.. sometimes my anger.. can overpower my mind." Harry sighs disappointingly at himself, his head dropping as he heavily breathes. I already miss his stare.

I take a leap full of courage and I turn my hand over underneath his, our palms now pushed together. His head snaps up, almost on cue, as I slide my fingers between his.

"You're not mad?" He utters softly, furrowed eyebrows and a quivering bottom lip. I shake my head lightly from left to ride, he apologized to me - why would I be mad? Harry gave my hand a squeeze before bringing himself to his feet. I squeaked accidently as he yanked me up and slung me into his chest.

"I hated seeing you cry." He mutters in my ear as his arms wrap around my shoulders. I hesitate at first, but I just ignore my worries and place my arms around his lower back - my hands pressed against his toned body - his tee shirt is very thin.

"I'll make it up to you. I promise." Harry pulls us apart a little, his eyes finding mine. He winks softly at me just as I hear everyone's mixture of voices fill the room. My heart bursts as his lips carefully touch against my cheek. He holds them there a tad longer than necessary but that's fine by me.



So far dinner has been nice - a few intriguing conversations have come and gone as well as joking insults and laughing.
For dessert, we are eating cake and pie - both of which was prepared my Sophia earlier today. I'm not too big of a fan of pie, but this cake is amazing.

My eyes widened suddenly as I feel a touch on my left knee. It's not hard to tell what it is - Harry's hand. I look in his direction, but he's staring at Perrie as she talks about something - which I'm not really listening too. I can tell his chair has gradually gotten closer towards me throughtout the meal - making it easier for him to touch me I'm sure.

I can't find any power to rip my eyes off of his handsome face. His jaw is incredibly defined and his eyes are sparkling. He's a perfect creation. "Love?" Harry's voice invaded my mine and I snap from my trance, my eyes shutting as I turn my head forward.

He caught me staring at his beauty - there's no telling who else saw me. God I hope he never mentions this to me, or anyone else..

Notes

Excuse the errors updates soon! ❤

Comments

@brianna.smith
I totally understand!!! Mine are older but dealing with what I am with Matthew is such a struggle..

Allie Miller Allie Miller
3/20/19

@Allie Miller
It’s a struggle lol xxxx

brianna.smith brianna.smith
3/20/19

@brianna.smith
Absolutely you and Tessa are my two favorite people ever. Tess doesn’t get on anymore she has a baby now. But I admire how you juggle everything with Faith Leah and the twins... you’re an amazing person. :) xx

Allie Miller Allie Miller
3/20/19

@Allie Miller
I've always loved & appreciated your support! xxxxx thank you for all the love honey!

brianna.smith brianna.smith
3/20/19

IDK how i missed this update but it's fantastic the time jump goes in smoothly. I am in love with this sotry too!! and i forgot to tell you congrats on the wins.. I knew when i saw your name on the ballots you'd win for sure!! you never fail to amaze me you're writing is sensational as always. i am so glad that i've gotten to know you more than just a fan but as a true friend the past 4 years. i love you B keep up your great work girl

Allie Miller Allie Miller
3/18/19