Letters to Kayla
Day One, Two, Three, and Four.
Dear Kayla,
Hi princess, it's Zayn. I promised I'd stop calling you princess, so....Hi Kayla, it's Zayn. um...so, today wasn't the usual was it? We're no longer Zayn and Kayla. We're just that girl Kayla, and that guy Zayn. I never got to ask, why. Why did you break-up with me? Did I do something wrong? If I did, I'm sorry. I noticed you acting different a few days ago. I'd ask what's up and you'd answer things like "Nothing, just cold." then I'd hold you until you were warm. You'd smile so I'd hold you longer. If you answered, "Just hungry." I'd try everything to get you something to eat. What am I doing wrong, Kayla? I'm really sorry. I teared up as you said the words "I don't wanna be together anymore, Zayn. I'm really sorry." and walked away. I'm upset right now, Kayla. I'm so upset, sorry, and angry. I'm angry with myself because I know I did something wrong. I was so angry with myself that when I came home, I punched my mirror. after a few minuets of calming down, I sat on the ground and stared at the shattered pieces of glass and watched as the blood seeped out through my knuckles. Thoughts were racing through my mind, wondering what it was that I did wrong. Please tell me. I promise I'll try my hardest to fix it.
Just a few hours ago, I looked through our scrapbook. Pictures of us over our five years together. My most favorite one was when we told everyone that we were officially dating. We had pictures of eveything. There's 200 pages with four pictures on each page, front and back. You looked so beautiful and I was my hansome self as usual. The very first picture was of us on our first day. You wore your old blue sweater that I tried to put on. It was small for me and I think I stretched it. I gotta say, I think I did look better that you did in the sweater. I worked it!
Another favorite of mine is when you put make-up on me. You made me look beautiful! I do love wearing red lipstick that took half an hour to take off along with mega blue eye shadow. (No, seriously. Imagine Zayn with really red lipstick and mega blue eye shadow...o.O). I felt it as you plastered my face with it. How do you girls wear that stuff? it feels weird and I don't like it.
Right at this moment, I'm listening to our song. Lego House by Ed Sheeran. It's one of our favorite songs and It's the song that we had our first slow dance to. It's making me cry again. There is too many memories. I'm gonna go now because I wanna continue to look at our old pictures and go to sleep soon.
Goodnight, Kayla.
Dear Kayla,
I saw you in the hallway today.You looked so beautiful as always. I looked at you as I opened my locker. You noticed and you looked back at me. I flexed as if I was a body builder. You laughed then went back to your conversation with your friends. You said something then you broke into tears. You're friends covered their mouths in shock and cried with you. They each gave you hugs and cried more as you spoke. My friend, Jason came and asked something about the social project. He also asked me if I was okay when he noticed what I was looking at. Then you noticed I was looking at you and quickly wiped your tears. I slammed my locker and walked away towards my next class. I forgot about my books so I had to go back to my locker for them. Then I went back to walking towards my next class. It was too painful for me to watch you cry and knowing that I couldn't go up to you and comfort you like I used to.
You weren't in gym class today either. I'm just guessing that you skipped. You weren't there so I was my own partner. No, not really. When I saw that you weren't there, I noticed that I wouldn't have a partner. So, I skipped and hung out in the library. I was going to read Romeo and Juliet but then I found it, the book was HUGE. I placed it back and went to go look for a smaller book. I settled for the first book of the missing series my Margaret Peterson Haddix. I read it and I think I'm gonna go look for the second book tomorrow after I return the first one. I'm almost done it. I think now, I apperently like to read.
Dear Kayla,
I can't help but notice how depressing you looked today. Is it because I've been talking to Natasha? I promise, she's just a friend. I'll stop talking to her if it upsets you. Today, your friend, Michelle, tried to tell me something. she walked up to me fine and held my hands. She looked at me in the eyes and said "I-uh...gotta tell you something. It's about Kayla." I looked back at her and softly said "what about her? Please tell me" She looked at ,e and started to tear up. "I-I-I don't know how to tell you" She stammered. I was getting worried. "sh-she's..." She couldn't finish her sentance. She let go of my hands and walked away crying. She picked up her phone and dialed. When someone picked up, she said "I'm so sorry Kayla, I couldn't do it." as she turned the corner. What as she going to tell me, Kayla? I wanna know it so I can make you feel better. This is so hard. I'm getting more upset, Kayla. There's something wrong and I wanna fix it as I usually did. I wanna hold you, Kayla, and make you feel better.
Dear Kayla,
You weren't at school today. Did it have to do with what Michelle was trying to tell me? I tried to ask your friend Ashleigh but she said that she could'nt tell me. Will you be at school tomorrow? I hope you will. Today was hard not seeing you. I miss you, Kayla. I miss you so much. I read our old text and facebook messages. My favorite ones were when we had our "goodnight" texts. We'd stay up all night texting eahother when we said we'd go to sleep in the beginning. We'd start by saying "sweet dreams" and by three hours later, we'd say "seriously, I'm going to bed" then two hours after that, we'd finally sleep. I'm still trying to find out what I did wrong. I went onto facebook and looked at our messages, the very last one ws from you saying "Love you too babe;) Don't forget about your doctors appointment nest week.:) xx."
I still love you, Kayla. Why did you break-up with me? It took me an hour and a half to read all of your messages. I cried while reading them every single one. We were perfect, I thought. I guess you didn't think the same. Sure we had our fights but we always worked them out. What was it this time? did I miss something? Please let me try to fix this.
Hi princess, it's Zayn. I promised I'd stop calling you princess, so....Hi Kayla, it's Zayn. um...so, today wasn't the usual was it? We're no longer Zayn and Kayla. We're just that girl Kayla, and that guy Zayn. I never got to ask, why. Why did you break-up with me? Did I do something wrong? If I did, I'm sorry. I noticed you acting different a few days ago. I'd ask what's up and you'd answer things like "Nothing, just cold." then I'd hold you until you were warm. You'd smile so I'd hold you longer. If you answered, "Just hungry." I'd try everything to get you something to eat. What am I doing wrong, Kayla? I'm really sorry. I teared up as you said the words "I don't wanna be together anymore, Zayn. I'm really sorry." and walked away. I'm upset right now, Kayla. I'm so upset, sorry, and angry. I'm angry with myself because I know I did something wrong. I was so angry with myself that when I came home, I punched my mirror. after a few minuets of calming down, I sat on the ground and stared at the shattered pieces of glass and watched as the blood seeped out through my knuckles. Thoughts were racing through my mind, wondering what it was that I did wrong. Please tell me. I promise I'll try my hardest to fix it.
Just a few hours ago, I looked through our scrapbook. Pictures of us over our five years together. My most favorite one was when we told everyone that we were officially dating. We had pictures of eveything. There's 200 pages with four pictures on each page, front and back. You looked so beautiful and I was my hansome self as usual. The very first picture was of us on our first day. You wore your old blue sweater that I tried to put on. It was small for me and I think I stretched it. I gotta say, I think I did look better that you did in the sweater. I worked it!
Another favorite of mine is when you put make-up on me. You made me look beautiful! I do love wearing red lipstick that took half an hour to take off along with mega blue eye shadow. (No, seriously. Imagine Zayn with really red lipstick and mega blue eye shadow...o.O). I felt it as you plastered my face with it. How do you girls wear that stuff? it feels weird and I don't like it.
Right at this moment, I'm listening to our song. Lego House by Ed Sheeran. It's one of our favorite songs and It's the song that we had our first slow dance to. It's making me cry again. There is too many memories. I'm gonna go now because I wanna continue to look at our old pictures and go to sleep soon.
Goodnight, Kayla.
Dear Kayla,
I saw you in the hallway today.You looked so beautiful as always. I looked at you as I opened my locker. You noticed and you looked back at me. I flexed as if I was a body builder. You laughed then went back to your conversation with your friends. You said something then you broke into tears. You're friends covered their mouths in shock and cried with you. They each gave you hugs and cried more as you spoke. My friend, Jason came and asked something about the social project. He also asked me if I was okay when he noticed what I was looking at. Then you noticed I was looking at you and quickly wiped your tears. I slammed my locker and walked away towards my next class. I forgot about my books so I had to go back to my locker for them. Then I went back to walking towards my next class. It was too painful for me to watch you cry and knowing that I couldn't go up to you and comfort you like I used to.
You weren't in gym class today either. I'm just guessing that you skipped. You weren't there so I was my own partner. No, not really. When I saw that you weren't there, I noticed that I wouldn't have a partner. So, I skipped and hung out in the library. I was going to read Romeo and Juliet but then I found it, the book was HUGE. I placed it back and went to go look for a smaller book. I settled for the first book of the missing series my Margaret Peterson Haddix. I read it and I think I'm gonna go look for the second book tomorrow after I return the first one. I'm almost done it. I think now, I apperently like to read.
Dear Kayla,
I can't help but notice how depressing you looked today. Is it because I've been talking to Natasha? I promise, she's just a friend. I'll stop talking to her if it upsets you. Today, your friend, Michelle, tried to tell me something. she walked up to me fine and held my hands. She looked at me in the eyes and said "I-uh...gotta tell you something. It's about Kayla." I looked back at her and softly said "what about her? Please tell me" She looked at ,e and started to tear up. "I-I-I don't know how to tell you" She stammered. I was getting worried. "sh-she's..." She couldn't finish her sentance. She let go of my hands and walked away crying. She picked up her phone and dialed. When someone picked up, she said "I'm so sorry Kayla, I couldn't do it." as she turned the corner. What as she going to tell me, Kayla? I wanna know it so I can make you feel better. This is so hard. I'm getting more upset, Kayla. There's something wrong and I wanna fix it as I usually did. I wanna hold you, Kayla, and make you feel better.
Dear Kayla,
You weren't at school today. Did it have to do with what Michelle was trying to tell me? I tried to ask your friend Ashleigh but she said that she could'nt tell me. Will you be at school tomorrow? I hope you will. Today was hard not seeing you. I miss you, Kayla. I miss you so much. I read our old text and facebook messages. My favorite ones were when we had our "goodnight" texts. We'd stay up all night texting eahother when we said we'd go to sleep in the beginning. We'd start by saying "sweet dreams" and by three hours later, we'd say "seriously, I'm going to bed" then two hours after that, we'd finally sleep. I'm still trying to find out what I did wrong. I went onto facebook and looked at our messages, the very last one ws from you saying "Love you too babe;) Don't forget about your doctors appointment nest week.:) xx."
I still love you, Kayla. Why did you break-up with me? It took me an hour and a half to read all of your messages. I cried while reading them every single one. We were perfect, I thought. I guess you didn't think the same. Sure we had our fights but we always worked them out. What was it this time? did I miss something? Please let me try to fix this.
Notes
I was going to start my writing one day but then each chapter would be too short....so I put at least three or four days in each:)I think I'm gonna try to update everyday, depending on if the staff will let me on. I now have something to do online!
We don't have Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Wattpad, Quotev, Tumblr or anything like that! It's getting me pissed and it's really boring here.... oh yea...I'm staying in a group home right now because of personal reasons. anyway, I'll try to post tomorrow and I'm gpoing to finish this note and go play some just dance 4!.
sooo bye!
p.s. if There are any unfinished words, I was typing fast so I might have missed some keys. I'll fix them tomorrow:)
BYYYEEEE! ;) xx.
7/11/13