We Figured It Out

With my bridesmaid dress carefully laid out on the backseat, we made our way to meet with his trusty agent. I didn't know what to expect this time around but it overall went pretty much like the first time he bought a house. We saw a couple in one of the fancier parts of London but neither stood out to me and Niall seemed to agree. The 3rd house we visited was in a borough called West Brompton. The area was very nice and clearly still an expensive part of town. The house was brick, very large, spacious backyard, private entrance, and right in front of a park.

“What do you think of this one?!” I asked Niall as we stepped into the incredibly large kitchen. The kitchen alone was probably as big as my whole apartment.

“I think this is my favorite one... I love the location. We can be part of Chelsea AND Kensington.” Niall responded paying no mind to his words. I, on the other hand, couldn’t help but fixate on the “we” aspect of it. Who was 'we'?

“I agree. The location is great, the house is just breathtaking from inside out. It’s so spacious and modern but classic at the same time.” I said as I leaned my back against one of the many kitchen counters.

Niall looked back at me and smiled. “I think this is the one. I can picture everything already.” I smiled and nodded agreeing with him. He then began to walk towards me and stopping just before his toes met my toes, his intense blue eyes soft but fixated on mine. The closeness took me off guard and I felt like I should move but my feet were not going anywhere, and quite frankly, I didn't want them to.

“Thank you for coming, Zoe. This feels just like the good days.” Niall’s mention of our past made my stomach turn. My mind was still telling me to flee the situation, but something kept me there, toe to toe with Niall.

"You're welcome. You do know I'm in journalism and not real estate right?" I joked trying to lighten up the mood, but Niall only smirked and continued to move closer to me. So close I could smell his favorite cologne, could almost feel his breath.

“Zoe... our last goodbye was in the kitchen of a house I had just bought. This feels eerily familiar but... I don’t want that memory here. I only want good memories in this house.” Niall continued and all I could do was listen. My heart was ready to burst with anticipation.

“What are you getting at, Niall?” I managed to croak out despite feeling like I had lost my voice.

“I guess I’m just... I don’t know.” He paused for a second and looked at his feet. I could almost see the internal battle of what he was trying to say. Meanwhile I remained motionless and speechless maybe I had even stopped breathing. His hands came up and enveloped the tops of my arms as he looked right at me, “What I’m trying to say is, I don’t want today to be another goodbye for us. I’m done with goodbyes, Zoe.”

"Um," was all I could say at that point and I could see the hurt settling in Niall's eyes.

"Why aren't you saying anything? Am I coming on too strong?" Niall asked trying to read my expression-less face. After me not responding, he backed away from me looking defeated,

"I'm sorry, I'm just... I thought maybe.."

"You thought maybe what?" I asked, startling myself that I had asked that out loud and making Niall look back at me.

"I guess I thought we could go back to what we once were," he stated looking softly into my eyes. I could tell his words were making him feel vulnerable. I was glad he still felt he could be that with me.

"Niall, I... I don't know. We're not who we used to be. I've changed and I'm sure you've changed. Some things just can't go back."

"You're right. Some things just can't go back but also some things never change. Like my feelings for you, Zoe." I took in a long breath upon hearing his words. I came here to look at houses, I was not prepared at all for this. Not in the middle of a random house with the real estate agent on the phone a few rooms away.

"Niall... why are you doing this? Why are you here? Why am I here? Why after all this time we are back doing the same shit again? You can't just... barge into my life one day and expect us to go back to what we had" I felt suffocated by the situation and began to move about the kitchen. I felt like running away, but quite frankly, I didn't know how to even get back to proper London nor did I want to commit grand theft auto against Niall twice.

"I know, I know! Trust me, I know! I just can't not speak the truth to you, Zoe. I feel the need to say what I feel. I need to because me holding back what I want to say is what ended our relationship in the first place. I wanted you so bad to choose me over staying in London, Zoe. I just couldn't bring myself to be selfish and tell you." Niall admitted and at this point I could feel tears forming in my eyes. I never was one to be able to hold the waterworks.

I shook my head slowly, I couldn't believe what I was hearing, "All I ever wanted back then was for you to tell me exactly that. To tell me to move to LA with you, to be with you. But you never did, I thought you didn't want me. That you'd leave me in London and slowly begin to forget me."

"Zoe, I always wanted you. I'll always want you."

My next thought was interrupted by the sudden press of Niall's lips against my own. His needy mouth begging for me to respond. Like instinct, my mouth began to move with his and it felt right. I didn't realize just how much I missed this. How much I needed this. How much I wanted this. His hands moved to my hips where his fingertips pressed on my skin as if I would run away any second. My arms circled his neck, maybe holding on to him for the same reasons he was holding on to me.

It sounds cheesy, but it literally felt like we were the only two people in this world. Completely indulged in one another, enjoying the first kiss we've had in so long. The sweet taste of his mouth was something I thought I'd never get to taste again. It may have been wrong, but it certainly felt so right. It wasn't until a loud "Ahem" filled the room that we broke the kiss.

"I was just on the phone with the seller of this house and he says he's willing to cover closing costs if you make an offer today," Niall's agent spoke as soon as we looked her way. I couldn't look her in the eye, so I just tucked my hair behind my ear and looked at the floor. Very nice floor this kitchen had.

"We were actually just talking about it," Niall began and I smiled because we weren't just talking about it, we were kissing, "And we like this house so we'd like to make an offer." He finished off inserting the 'we' again. Is he talking about us as the 'we'?

The ride back to my apartment was mostly silent with random chit chat. We didn't further discuss what had just been said and done in the kitchen of Niall's possible new London home. I did know eventually we'd have to talk more about it, but for tonight it seemed we were both content with the place we left it at. The rest will come in due time.

"Thanks for taking me to pick up the dress today," I said as Niall parked in front of my building.

"Thanks for picking out a house," he replied back and we both chuckled.

"Um, I guess I will see you around?" I asked unsure what exactly I was supposed to tell an ex boyfriend I had just kissed.

"No, not around. I want to see you, Zoe. Like on purpose not just running into each other or having to come up with excuses like leaving my phone at your place," Niall said and I gasped.

"You are so sneaky!" I yelled out squinting my eyes in judgement.

"A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do." his toothy smile completely melted my heart. I could never be bothered by something like that, not from him. "I want us to go out and have some time together, Zoe. Like real proper time where we can talk and just... be."

"I'd like that. Now I must go upstairs, work early tomorrow. Goodnight, Niall."

"Goodnight, Zoe."

As a began to make a move on the door handle, Niall grabbed my hand and brought me closer to him. A gentle peck on the lips followed and all the negative feelings I had toward him began to dissipate. Niall Horan was a blackhole and I was being sucked in once more.

Notes

Well, hello there. I don't know who all will read this because this site is gone to shit unfortunately. I just can't NOT finish off Zoe and Niall's story. So here is an update I've actually had in my possession for over a year but felt was never good enough. Now I say fuck it let Zoe and Niall FEEL dammit. lol