S E L E N A

The Los Angeles sun burned down on me, despite being in the late months of the year. The sky is bright and blue, not a single trace of a cloud. My breathing was unsteady, my heart was racing rapidly. I nearly stopped breathing completely as I lift my hand, forming a fist before knocking my knuckles against the wooden door. I gave two rounds to the door, I know she knows I’m here.

I casually look around, the view is quite nice here. I usually don’t come here, she’s hardly ever at this house. But this where she wanted to meet, so this is where I came. Unfortunately, though, this meeting won’t go well. I’ll get yelled at and shamed for what I’ve done, but honestly I don’t really care what she has to say. It wasn’t my choice anyways.

The door opened suddenly, bringing me back to reality. Our eyes meet and lock contact, she didn’t appear to be excited to see me – I know I gave off the same expression as her. “Come on in.’’ She mumbles, backing away from the door, her eyes leaving mine. A sigh slips from my lips as I step into the house, the cool air hitting my skin, goosebumps rising at the feeling coming out of nowhere.

“Go to the kitchen, I have some fresh lemonade.’’ Taylor’s voice sounded calm, but I know she’s holding back. It takes a lot for her to get mad at me, or about something relating to me, so I’m assure that she’s extremely annoyed right now. Like I said before, I don’t even care. I lead myself through the large living room area, the clicking of my heels against the hardwood floors echoes through the high ceiling, darting off the walls. It smells like her, like my best friend. I’m so nervous she’ll hate me for this, I just know she will. The house was silent, no television was on, there was no music playing. It was just silent, besides my shoes and Taylor’s obvious deep breathes being released a few feet behind me

My hand presses against the door, I use hardly any strength to push it open. The kitchen smelled like cookies, perhaps she was baking again – she likes to dabble here and there in the art of cooking. I take a seat at the island, adjusting myself on the stool as I await for this start, whatever this might turn out to be.

From the corner of my eye I see Taylor standing at the end of the island, opposite of my end. Her elbows on the counter top as she looks at me, her eyes glued to me. I knew what she was doing, she’s literally watching me. She’s waiting to see what I do, how I move, what I say, or even how I breathe. She knows me entirely too well, and she knows what to expect from me in a time like this. It’s nerve racking, mainly because I know I’ll never be able to get away with anything.

Absolutely nothing.

The intense stare was burning a hole through me, I can feel it flaming up my skin. She’s upset, not necessarily at me, but she’s clearly not in a very pleasant mood right now. It’s obvious to me that I have some part in it, honestly I had a feeling this would happen sooner or later, mostly sooner though.

“You do realize what people are going to say right?’’ Her voice isn’t in a loud tone, but I could tell she isn’t happy right now. A gulp slides down my throat, what can I even say right now? What words do I know in my mind that can calm her, make her feel better about this idea? Nothing at all.

“Sel, I know it wasn’t your intention to do this, I know you were forced. I’ve been there, I know. But damn it!’’ Her voice ringed through my ears as she slammed her hand on the marble top of the island, a heavy loud of force behind it. “I would never do this to you! People are going to think you’ve betrayed me, I don’t want that, Selena!’’ My teeth bit down on the inside of my cheek, helping me hold back the tears.

“Do you even have anything to say? Are you even listening to me?” She asks angrily, a huff leaving her mouth as she began to pace in small lines on the tiled kitchen floor. “I’m sorry.” I mutter out, answering her question. “Sorry isn’t really what I’m looking for, maybe a damn explanation?’’ Taylor releases a frustrated grunt, I know she’s not comfortable with the contract, nor am I though.

“There was nothing I could do. Besides, I didn’t even know.. it was going to be him.’’ My response this time was more mature, at least I can act like I have some sense every now and then. If she thinks I didn’t think about her while I was getting myself into this then she’s wrong. While I was sitting at that damn desk pretending to listen to that man talk to me, I keep asking myself what she would do when she found out. And now, well, I know.

“The media is.. going to think you.. betrayed me, Sel. They’re all going to think that.. we’re enemies now. I don’t want that to happen, Selena. I just.. I just wish you wouldn’t have.. agreed to some shitty contract. You know good and damn well you can be successful without a damn man in your life.’’ Taylor’s words bounced around in my mind, reminding me of the lecture she gave to me a few years ago.

“It wasn’t my damn decision, Taylor.’’ I finally groan out to her, I’m so sick of people blaming me for everything. My friends can’t even treat me right anymore. Stop, don’t say that. I didn’t mean that. I love Taylor, and she loves me. She’s the light in my darkness, she’s the hope in my failure. I’m nothing without her.

“You have a mouth, don’t you? You could have agreed to someone different!’’ She says, her eyebrows lowered as she stares at me as if she was disappointed. “You’re standing here yelling at me like I could control it. I couldn’t, I tried. Do you honestly think I wanted to do this to you?’’ I ask her, my voice raising slightly towards her.

My heart was aching at this moment – everyone always has something to say about my decisions and my life choices. I done this for my career, not to please myself and definitely not to upset my best friend. “He’s not a good man anyways.’’ She rolls her eyes, looking away from me. This has gone too far, there is no reason for her to say that about him. I know I have no feelings for him, but I am human and I do care about people, unlike others.

“Just because you two got on bad terms doesn’t mean anything to me. I don’t care what you say, Taylor, honestly. I can’t control this situation, I just wish you’d understand that.” The words leave my mouth quicker than I could get them straight in my head, before I was even sure that was going to be my next input into the conversation. “I know you can’t.’’ She sighs out as if she’s been saying that the whole time, more like quite the opposite.

“Then please stop.. I’m sorry. Okay? Here.” I stop myself with a huff as I reach into my tote. I grab the copy of the contract and extend my hand out to her. She stares the stack of papers for a few moments, her blue eyes flickering from the print on the front to my eyes every so often. Taylor releases a grunt as she snatches the papers from my hand.

“What happens.. if you find someone.. that you really love? Can the contract end?” She asks me in a nervous voice, she’s always wanted the best for me – she believes me in when even I can’t do that. “It… any relationship has to be one hundred percent private.” I inform her of what the man said and what the contract states itself. “Well.. here.” She sits the contract back in front of me with an irritated huff leaving past her red lips.

“As long as you.. have the chance to be with someone.. you might actually love.. and who might actually treat you right.. then I’m cool with it.” Taylor tells me, her hand taking mine suddenly. She laces our fingers together and playfully rolls her eyes at me. I laugh faintly at her reaction, she’s so dramatic sometimes – but that’s why she’s my best friend, she’s crazy and wild and just wonderful.

“I’ll make a statement once everyone.. sees that you’re so called dating him. I’ll say it’s all good with me, babe.” Taylor releases my hand and pats my shoulder a few times before going over to the refrigerator. A sigh of relief escapes my mouth, as long as she’s okay with it.. then I’m okay with it. I think?

Notes

//So at first I was highly debating on not continuing this.. but I took a few weeks and wrote some chapters up and I hope you like! Feedback please, I know it's slow right now cause it's the start! But feedback please lol! x updates soon!