You Lost Me

Harry’s POV

It’s all my fault.

I just can’t wrap my head around the fact that she doesn’t remember. We worked so hard on our relationship and it was ripped out of our hands in the matter of a minute.

If that stupid person didn’t decide to drive after they drank, we could be engaged. Engaged and planning our wedding. But instead, she doesn’t remember a single date we’ve been on. She doesn’t even remember how we meet. And she doesn’t remember a single kiss.

I know she told me to stop crying back at the hospital, but it’s honestly so difficult to do. It’s much easier said than done and every time I think about her, tears swell up in my eyes. I’m lucky to have the boys here. I asked my mom and sister to give us a little space. I don’t want her to get too overwhelmed with re-meeting new people and learning new names. She was never good with names, it’s always just been one of her quirks.

I noticed in the car how she kept looking out the window. Just like she always has. And that brought me a little hope. It makes me feel like if she still has old habits and quirks from before the accident, maybe she can still love me the same from before the accident. Maybe that just because her memory is gone, her feelings don’t have to be too.

When the car pulled up to our house she was looking at it with an awe that brought a smirk to my face.

“Do you like it?”, Niall asks her.

She nods quickly, “It’s beautiful!”

She still likes it! We just finished designing it two months ago. Well, she designed the whole house because the guys and I were on tour. Bella always said she had a passion for interior design, but she didn’t work as an interior designer. She finished university and now does some modeling jobs here and there.

We walk out of the car and my arm immediately goes to around her waist. I look down to see if she’s okay with it, but her expression doesn’t change. I guess I’ll take that as a good sign and keep my arm there.

I unlock the door and hold it open for Bella and the guys. She walks through first in complete awe. She always said she wanted a house big enough for us to raise our family in, this house is big enough to raise about 3 families.

Bella takes a few steps forward so she can look at the picture straight ahead on the wall. Those pictures have always been her favorite part of the house. She said she loves how happy everyone looks in them. She picked out which pictures she wanted to put front and center. This way everyone would see them as they walked in. It was her way of showing off the happy life we had together.

“She knows now!”, Liam whispers to me worriedly.

I bite my bottom lip and look at him with worried eyes. She was bound to find out eventually, I guess. Her eyes land on the picture in the middle and she blinks a few times. Probably just to make sure her eyes aren’t deceiving her.

Louis tugs her arm and she whips around, now facing us all. We all just stare at her waiting her to say something. It’s quiet for over a minute while everyone stares at each other and she says, “Could you guys please just explain what I obviously forgot?”, she looks sad and worried. Two things I never want her to feel.

I can’t have Bella running out the front door. I need her.

“The doctor said tha-”, Liam tries to reason with her.

“I don’t care what the doctor said, I just want to know about you guys and my life”, she stays calm, “And I’d also like to know why I like Harry so much. I mean these pictures kinda explain it, but I’m just so confused.”

She still likes me which makes me feel so much better about everything. She might not actually run away like I thought. I just have to try to use the “British-Gentleman-Charm” Bella loves so much, and try to convince her that what we had was real.

It still is, too.

“Maybe we should sit first?” Louis says looking at me. I nod. How are we supposed to explain all of this to Bella? Especially when the doctors specifically told us not too. How are we supposed to tell her that her dad died? Or that her mom doesn’t speak to her anymore? Or that we dated for two years and I was about to propose, but then we got into a terrible car accident?How do you say all that to the person you love? To the person that brings you so much happiness, and all you wish to do is bring them happiness. All I want her to feel is safe and happy. I don’t like that she’s nervous to be around us and I don’t like that she’s confused all the time.

Our eyes lock, “I really was wondering why I liked you so much. And why we were gonna go out to dinner before the car accident.”, she giggles nervously.

I bite my lip and smile, “So, what do you want to know? About you and I, I mean.”

“What are we?”, she says shyly, “Well, I mean like, are you my boyfriend?”

My heart hurts. She really doesn’t remember anything. Every time she says or asks something like that, it hits me and I can feel it right in my heart.

I nod and rub the back of my head nervously, “Yeah. Two years.”

“Two years?” she says shocked. I nod and she take a deep breath, “Well, we made it this far. I’m not gonna give up on us now.”

I look back up to her. My heart is warm now. I hope her’s is too.

***

Notes

Thanks for reading!! xoxo