
You Wanna Know?
boobear174 - In the end
This story was pretty good.
I liked how the main character, Lily is living on her own terms and doesn’t care what anyone else says.
The storyline was definitely original and I know there are no other stories on this website that have the same plot. I think it was obviously individual and ummm…very creative.
Okay so some points to improve on:
I get that Abby was in a mental hospital and that she has mental illness but still a lot of the things that she said in her POV chapters was very hard to understand. I don’t know if you purposely wrote it like that to try and make her seem mentally unstable or if you unintentionally made it confusing. Either way I found myself just skimming through those chapters because it didn’t make sense.
Also during Abby’s POV’s a lot of the words were confusing.
bhe, ahain, fying, crazie and boeboe aren’t real words
Again, I don’t know if you were trying to make her seem crazy or if you were just typing really fast but that was also confusing.
Other than those the spelling and grammar was good.
Even though there are a few things to improve on I like reading the story so keep writing (NEW SUBSCRIBER ALERT!!!!)
~Sophalicious
I just saw my review for Payne of the past... Thank you so so much!!! It's Almost done but not to worry I have a surprise :)
3/31/17