You Wanna Know?

Liked it a lot.
I liked your style of writing a lot. It was unique and appealing to me as a reader.

Again, if you don’t mind me saying this was a storyline typically used on this website but you brought your own kind of edge to it if you know what I mean.

I think that there are some great touches of originality here and there that make this story truly distinctive and interesting.

Okay so the points to improve on:

I don’t know if it’s just me but this happens a lot. I as a reader find it hard to read big chunky paragraphs at a time. My eyes get blurred and I find it hard to concentrate as I get distracted really easily. It would be easier to have the story broken down into smaller parts which could also work really well for intensity of drama. Of course, you don’t have to do this it’s just a suggestion :)

The punctuation and spelling are good from what I read.

I did enjoy the story and would recommend that you keep on writing!!!
~Sophalicious

Notes

another review
Also to crystal_renee, leighhhbabyyy and i love payno - your reviews will be a little late...sorry but i am only one person...will get it to you asap