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Lavender & Roses

XV

I walked into Maura's kitchen to see Maura, Izzy and Sadie all standing around in their pajamas. I leaned against the door frame and watched Sadie as she helped Maura with breakfast. I smiled when I heard her sweet laugh. I rested my head against the door frame as I saw the way she moved in a whole new way. The night before had been amazing. Granted her crawling into my bed half naked didn't end the way I had always imagined it would but it was magic just the same. Just kissing her had made her breath catch. I had only been kissing her and she was moaning the way she would've had we been making love. Was I really so different to her?
"Harry? Honey, is everything okay?" Izzy asked with concerned eyes. Maura and Sadie had set their attention on me as well
I flicked my eyes away from Sadie and smiled, "Yeah. I'm fine." I gazed at Sadie again, "Can I speak to you, upstairs, alone?" Sadie lifted her eyebrow and nodded. I exited the kitchen slowly and without another word.
"He must've done something to Niall's gift." Sadie laughed quietly. I knew that her mother or Maura must've asked what the problem could be. I walked up the stairs toward Niall's old bedroom without Sadie. I figured it'd be best.
Sadie entered Niall's old bedroom with a smile. Once she had stepped inside fully. I closed the door and locked it. I took her hand in mine and pulled her against me. Sadie gazed up at me with wonder.
"You are so beautiful in those joggers and football jersey." I murmured to her before placing my mouth over hers with passion. Sadie leaned into me and moaned softly. I slipped my tongue between her lips, making her knees go weak. I held her hips tighter and moved her back toward Niall's bed. I carefully laid her down as I caressed her full, perfect lips with my own. Sadie wrapped her arms around my neck as I knelt between her knees. I smiled into the kiss when she whimpered softly. I ran my hands from her hips to underneath her football jersey. I caressed her skin as lightly and slowly as I could with my fingertips. Her hips were coming up off the bed, trying to connect with mine. I removed my mouth from hers, only eliciting a soft whine. I smirked and kissed down her clothed chest slowly. I was savoring every single centimeter of her shape. I loved the way her breasts felt under my lips. I wished that I could've been undressing her more but I knew it was a horrible idea. I slid her football jersey up, exposing the soft skin of her abdomen. I released one of her hips to grip the bed-sheets. I was trying to remain in control of my actions as I kissed the tender skin of her stomach. Sadie moaned and wriggled underneath me. She was lifting her hips and whimpering as my tongue slipped from my mouth. I placed short, wet kisses along the waistline of her joggers. Her hand flew up to grip my curls. I grinned when she whimpered my name. I lifted my head from her torso and placed my lips back on hers.
"Harry." Sadie whispered, her tone pleading. I devoured her already swollen lips. I sucked and tugged at her bottom lip with no hesitation, almost the same way I would if I were to be going down on her. I backed away after placing one soft, sweet, almost innocent kiss on her mouth. "Harry?" Sadie sounded confused as well as completely aroused.
"What?" I asked sitting on the bed beside her. She pulled her self into a sitting position so she was staring into my eyes. I rested my hand high up on her thigh as she leaned closer to me.
"You are nothing but a tease." Sadie whispered in a giggle. I just smirked. She wrapped an arm around my neck while the other rested on my chest. "You are so good with those lips you know." Sadie murmured, moving closer for another kiss.
"You have no idea, baby." I snickered before kissing her sweetly. Sadie looked at me with puppy dog eyes. "Not today, Sade. We're in Niall's old room. I'm sure no one would appreciate it."
Sadie raked her fingers down my chest, "I would."
I kissed the tip of her nose, "You're not ready for that. You can't even change in front of me." Sadie looked a bit sad. "I promise. When Niall isn't around and you think you're okay with it, I will love every single part of you with my lips." I murmured pressing my forehead to hers. Sadie smiled shyly and nodded. "Come on. Let's grab the presents and go downstairs. I'm sure everyone is waiting for us." Sadie agreed calmly.


Sadie sat cuddled into my side nearly asleep while everyone else was finishing up presents. Niall was playing with his new guitar accessories while Theo played with his new toys. Izzy was swooning over whatever expensiveness piece of jewelry August had gotten her. Maura and Bobby were being sentimental about the gifts they'd given each other as well. Greg and Denise were watching Theo play on the floor near Niall.
"Harry. DeeDee. Did you two exchange presents yet?" Maura asked of us. Sadie and I both shook our heads.
"Well go on kids." Izzy laughed at us. Sadie reached over and grabbed a small box wrapped in a bright red paper.
"Hey, come on." I whispered in Sadie's ear. I motioned for her to go into the kitchen. Sadie lifted her eyebrow at me but did as told. I grabbed the box containing her gift and followed her to the kitchen. I knew that everyone was watching us with curious eyes, especially Niall, but I couldn't care about that. I knew there was a possibility that Sadie would react with tears and I didn't want her to be uncomfortable. I sat down on a bar stool while Sadie stood nervously by the island. I set her gift on the counter in front of her. "Go on. Open it." I smiled warmly at her.
"You first." She grinned shyly. I nodded and grabbed the box off the counter. I knew she wanted me to go first to ease her nerves. I chuckled as I opened the white box. Inside were a bunch of filters for my camera. "I know you said you wanted to try more with your camera. But there's more." She still sounded nervous. I took out the filters carefully and set them on the counter. There were a few rolls of black and white film; I set those on the counter as well. Inside the box there was also a smaller jewelry box. It was the size for a ring. I set the main box on the counter after pulling out the ring box. I opened the ring box and smiled brightly at Sadie. "I know it's not a designer anything like what you like but..." I shook my head with furrowed brows. I didn't like her trying to take away from the value of the gift she'd given me. "But I have a friend here that designs jewelry and I...it's a one of a kind." She nearly mumbled. I slipped in onto my finger and grinned. "Its the Awen or The Three Rays of Light. It symbolizes man, woman and the balance; earth, sea and sky; mind, body and spirit." She explained quietly. I lifted my eyebrow at her, wondering why she'd chosen this symbol. "I don't know why but...you definitely bring balance to my life. Never thought it'd be a person to even me out. But...here you are." She spoke so softly; her embarrassment obvious. I looked over to the doorway. No one was looking. I took Sadie's hand in mine and pulled her to me.
"It beautiful. I love it." I murmured to her. I placed my lips on hers tenderly. Sadie melted into me slightly, not like when we were alone in the bedroom at Niall's house but enough that I knew she wanted me. She wrapped her arm around my neck like she'd done upstairs.
"It has your initials engraved in it and a little message." Sadie informed me as she backed out of the kiss. I took the ring off and examined the inside of the band. Inside it was engraved with HES and on the opposite side it had something written in Gaelic.
"What does it say?" I asked softly. Sadie smirked and kissed my cheek, her lips lingering on my skin longer than normal. I knew she wasn't going to tell me right then. "Open your gift, baby." I urged her toward the silver wrapped gift. She picked it up with a grin and tore into the paper. I smiled when her face dropped a little.
"Harry." Sadie's voice broke. She picked up the journal from the box. She examined the cover intensely. Skimming her fingers over the leather cover with a drawing I had done while we were in bed not too long ago. It was a pair of broken angel's wings. Sadie pulled her lip between her teeth trying to fight away the tears when she read the other engraving: My Beautiful Broken Angel. I kept my hands to myself even though I wanted to reach out to comfort her. She opened up the journal and began to read the little note that I had put on the first page. I told her how much I adored her and enjoyed the excitement she brought to my life. I smiled when she turned another page. Tears started to fall from her eyes seeing the two Jim Morrison quotes I had written in for her. Sadie closed the journal then hugged me tightly. I sighed softly feeling the skin of her cheek against mine. I leaned into her warmth. I knew it was a small gift, nothing special but it made her feel special and that was all that I wanted. Sadie held me tighter when her body shook gently. She was full out crying on me. I held her around her torso tighter.


I sat at the kitchen table next to Sadie. Niall was out in the car rummaging for her pills because he packed the car funny. I sighed and placed my hand over Sadie's. I stroked the soft skin of her hand with my thumb in small circles. She looked up at me and smiled. Maura sat across the table from us with a bit of a smirk. I saw Sadie's mother watching us out of the corner of her eye as well. I didn't want to but I took my hand from Sadie's. She frowned as I did so. But we were both thankful I did when Niall ran into the kitchen with three pill bottles. Niall set them down on the table then went to the other end of the kitchen. Sadie just sat quietly with her hands on the table. I watched her with concerned eyes. I didn't like this part of the day. I'd never gotten to actually see it before because she usually hid in the bathroom to take her meds. She never wanted me to see. Niall came back to the table with a glass of water in his hand; he placed it on the table in front of Sadie. Without a word, Niall opened the first pill bottle. He set the bigger white pill in Sadie's hand.
"What's that?" I asked Sadie quietly but nervously.
"Harry." Niall glared at me. I didn't move or speak. I waited for Sadie to tell me to shut up.
"Lamotrigne. It's a mood stabilizer." She replied softly. I nodded quickly. I didn't want to push her to talk about it when she was surrounded by others. She put the pill in her mouth then took a sip of water. Niall opened another bottle and handed her another pill. I opened my mouth to ask her what it was but she answered before I could ask. "Lorazepam. It's an anti-anxiety." Sadie informed me with a small smile. I smiled back, feeling a little embarrassed. She ingested it the same as the first. Niall then held another pill out to her. She shook her head, "No."
"DeeDee come on. You have to." Niall grunted at her. Sadie shook her head and folded her arms over her chest. "Sadie Lynn, stop it. You have to take it." Niall sounded even angrier with her.
"What is it?" I nearly whispered to Sadie.
She glared at Niall as she answered, "It's an anti-depressant. And I'm not taking it."
"Goddamn-it DeeDee!" Niall shouted slamming his hand down on the table. Sadie jumped and her bottom lip quivered. Maura frowned seeing her son lose his temper with Sadie. I glared at Niall before turning my face to Sadie.
"Why don't you want to take it, Sade?" I asked her with a genuinely curious tone.
Her eyes were pleading as she said, "I don't like the way it makes me feel. I feel like a zombie. I don't want to take it." I held my hand out for the bottle. Niall lifted his eyebrow but placed it in my hand. I read the drug name then pulled out my phone. I typed the name into my search bar. I frowned when I saw some of the writings on it.
"Um..." I cleared my throat a little. "How long ago did you get these?" I asked Sadie quietly.
"Like two months ago." She stated lifting her eyebrow. I nodded and kept reading through the list of side effects and the studies on it. "Harry?" Sadie sounded a little upset.
"I don't think you should stop taking them without talking to the doctor." I nearly mumbled. Everyone in the room seemed curious.
"You're saying that you want me to take it?" Sadie inquired.
I nodded slowly, "Please. When we get home, you can go back and ask for something else. There a bunch of others listed here that won't make you feel like that. But you have to take these for now. Just for now." Sadie gazed at me for a moment longer then took the pill from Niall. It made my stomach turn watching her swallow the blue capsule. I smiled at her, "We can get you a different one when we get back." Sadie agreed with a nod.
"DEEDEE! DEEDEE!" Denise called from the living room. Sadie rolled her eyes and got up from the table. She ran out to the living room to talk to Denise.
"Harry, what's wrong?" Niall asked sitting down between his mother and I. I slid my phone over to him. Niall read through the material I had.
"Make her a doctor's appointment." I grunted at Niall.
"Honey, what's wrong?" Maura asked me, her worry showing as well.
"That anti depressant, it's not good for her. She said she feels like a zombie. She's been sleeping a lot and panicking more. This is pushing her into a down cycle. She shouldn't be taking it." I answered gruffly. Maura's brow furrowed. I turned to Niall again. "We have to watch her...closely. It says the most common side effect aside from nausea is suicide. We have to watch her." I murmured to Niall. I didn't want Sadie to hear. Niall nodded quickly.
"So you made my daughter take something that could possibly kill her?" Izzy snapped at me.
"It would be even worse if she just stopped taking it. It would halt the production of all the chemicals in her brain that control her emotions. By the end of the day she'd be a completely different person." I informed her. My demeanor then shifted. "Why do you care anyway? I thought you said she was just faking it?" Izzy, Maura and Niall all appeared shocked that I snapped. Izzy frowned and stood silent.
"Harry, how do you know so much about her brain?" Niall inquired.
"She's told me about it. And...the other day...she freaked out on me. Started yelling for no reason. She felt bad and cried about it not even ten minutes later but...I started reading about it. About her specific type of Bipolar, OCD and anxiety. I thought I might be able to handle it better." I stated shyly.
"When you say she yelled at you...like she did at the party?" Niall inquired leaning toward me a little.
I shook my head, "No full on yelling. I thought her neighbors were going to call the police yelling."
Niall smirked, "What did you do to her?"
"I don't know." I shrugged. "We were talking and then just..." I mimicked the sound of an explosion. "She said she was sorry. That she was wrong and she was crying all over the place after that. I wasn't mad. She just scared me." Maura and Niall looked extremely sad. "She won't talk to me about it though. I wanna know what I did wrong."
"Honey, she probably doesn't even know what you did. And she really does feel bad when she has an episode. She can't control what comes out of her and she has a hard time dealing with the things she says that she can't take back." Maura said taking my hand to comfort me. I nodded slowly.
"Give her a little more time. She'll talk to you about it eventually. She's trying to think of the best way to explain it. And you can go over it a million times in your head and never know what you did wrong or just what you did in general. She has to tell you what set her off. And like Mum said sometimes it takes her some time to figure that out." Niall smiled trying to make me feel better. I just nodded, not knowing what to say. "What exactly happened anyway?" Niall inquired.
"We were watching a movie after you and the boys left her apartment. We started talking about it and then all of a sudden she was telling me to shut up. She got up and started to pace, she spoke mostly Gaelic so I'm not sure of exactly what she said. She threw a book at my head, that was new." I chuckled a little thinking of it. Niall nodded and laughed himself. "Then she just stopped and started crying. She collapsed in the middle of the floor. I hugged her and told her everything was okay and she apologized over and over."
"Maybe she should go back to the doctor." Maura sighed as she looked at Niall. He nodded slowly. I tapped my fingers nervously when Sadie came back into the room.
"Maura, Mama, I don't feel good. I'm going to go lay down." Sadie spoke softly. Maura and Izzy nodded and wished her a good nap. Sadie kissed Niall's cheek lovingly, "I'm sleeping in your old room." Niall agreed and kissed her cheek just as sweetly as she had to him. Sadie smiled at me, "Night."
"Night." I replied with a weak smile. As Sadie walked past me, she ran her fingers through the bottom of my hair. I shivered which made her giggle. I grabbed her wrist before she could get to far. I kissed the back of her hand tenderly. She blushed as I let her go and she stalked off to the staircase.
"I wish you two would stop lying to me." Niall grumbled. I rolled my eyes and tossed my phone next to Sadie's pill bottles.

Notes

What are our thoughts now? :)

Sorry, it's been a bit on this one. ALWAYS has been taking up quite a bit of my time. Lol. I want to complete it but it's just so hard!

Though I have stated a general detest for them (many times), what would you guys think about me doing a "Review Book"? While I am not a professional writer by any means, I feel like with what I have done over the last year, I think that I could be of help, if others wanted. Just leave your thoughts about it in the comments.

Peace&Love

Comments

@Styles girl 4eva
❤️

morrison_hotel morrison_hotel
9/24/18

Ahhhh I’m so happy !!! I can’t wait for more updates xo I’m so glad you’re back!

@JasperRenee
Yay! It makes me happy to know that you still like these stories and actually care. ❤️

morrison_hotel morrison_hotel
9/22/18

@morrison_hotel
I always do!

JasperRenee JasperRenee
9/22/18

@JasperRenee
Thanks lovely girl. ❤️ I hope you liked it

morrison_hotel morrison_hotel
9/22/18