We stayed at the studio for a couple more hours. I decided I should go and visit my dad's grave. I made the boys go home, it took me a while but I finally convinced them that I would be fine. Caesar wanted to come with me, I didn't object because Caesar was practically my uncle and I could tell Caesar really wanted to go. Now here we are standing in front of his grave. There was nothing but silence besides the whistling of the wind around us blowing through the trees. A single tears strayed from my eye I didn't bother to wipe it away. I miss him a lot. I can still remember what happened like it was yesterday. The memory is too much for me, there is too much sadness and it makes me depressed thinking about it. Even though Zayn told me not to blame myself, I still do. I was there on the ground, sure I got shot in the shoulder, I could've still gotten up and kicked the gun out of the guy's hand my dad would have never gotten shot in the heart. Then he would be here with me, oh dad if you can read my thoughts right now I want you to know that I love and miss you and I wish mom would've stayed here and not ditch me for her boyfriend. If only that day didn't happen. My phone started to vibrate, unknown caller. Great probably Andre. I answered the phone after I excused myself.
"Hello?" I answered.
"Hey baby girl, I'm glad you answered." I heard my mouth say.
I let out a sigh of relief, at least it's not Andre.
"Long time no talk or see." I said back.
"Yeah I know, I feel like a horrible mom leaving you like that." She said with sadness in her voice.
"Well I guess you didn't feel bad enough did ya?" I fired back.
I'm not going to forgive her that easily. My dad maybe have died almost 3 years ago but I still won't forget about her and Kevin, and how she kept him a secret.
"I left because I knew you didn't like Kevin, but I love him and you need to understand that I can love someone other than your father." She spat back. Oh she's looking for a fight alright.
"I never said you couldn't love anyone besides dad, I'm fucking pissed that you kept Kevin a secret then you run away with him and leave me like I was trash." I yelled, but not loud enough where Caesar could hear me.
"Oh what about Niall huh?" She said with attitude, "he left you just like that for a tour then he comes back and you forgave him just so fast. What does that make you look like? You wanna know what? It makes you look like a desperate slag." My mother retorted. I felt a tears coming out of my eyes. I cannot my own mother said that to me.
"Fuck you." I whispered.
"What did you say?" She asked furious.
"I said fuck you. You know what you have fun with your new piece of shit family, and don't you ever think that I want you back in my life because I don't want you anymore. So don't think your coming to my wedding, my child's birth or anything. Just stay out of my life." I replied. Just like that I hung up. Wow I no longer have a mother or father in my life... Awesome. I walk back over to Caesar, he obviously say I was crying but didn't say anything.
"Want me to take you home." He asked. I just nodded my head. I told him where I lived and he dropped me off. I was so done with this day. It was absolutely shitty. I get back and see that Monique, Ashleigh and Andrea was here along with the boys and Natalie.
"Well look who is home." Zayn said.
"Yeah whatever." I answered walking past them, going to the kitchen, I heard Monique say 'what's wrong with her.' That just kind of setted me off. I marched back into the living room and stood in front of everyone.
"Oh what's wrong with me? Do you really want to know?" I snapped. I looked at everyone their eyes were bugging out of their heads. They all nodded.
"Well okay. First today is my dads birthday and that made me fucking sad, but that's not the thing. Then my mother decides to call me it was alright at first, then I told her I got made when she kept Kevin a secret then she just left me here like trash. But no wait there is more. Then she comments about how Niall left me like trash to go on tour and how I forgave him so easily and she told me I looked like a desperate slag, that set me off. So yeah that why I'm fuckin pissed have a problem get the fuck out." I said pointing towards the door. No one made a single movement.
"Good now I need some air," I said walking towards the balcony.